Survival

by J Marie

  After another week, I found myself becoming mopey and depressed. I wanted to push, I wanted to fight with him, but I knew that would just get me in trouble and then I could kiss my request to go outside good-bye. I did everything I could to improve my behavior—from smiling when he came around me to fully losing myself in the throes of passion when we fucked. I was attentive, affectionate, and managed to keep myself from releasing a single cuss word. I even tried not to wince when he called me princess, but nothing fucking worked! I was beyond frustrated, and when I realized my efforts were all for nothing, I gave up and went back to staring out the window until Darren finally came home.

  I felt his hands on my shoulders then as they started to move down my back and to my sides. His lips found the back of my neck, and he kissed all the way down to my spine, causing my skin to quiver. Gently, he turned my body to face him, and I met his gaze with a blank, expressionless face. I wasn’t in the mood, but I knew better than to deny him.

  He kissed me softly, and I kissed him back like the good little girl I was. His hands found their way into my hair and finally came around to my face, clutching me to him. When he eventually released me, he looked down into my eyes and saw the hopelessness and regret I was trying to hide.

  “Ah,” he said with a smirk. “I think someone’s finally learned their lesson.”

  I looked at him confused. “Huh?” I asked.

  And then without a word, he gripped my shoulders and swiftly turned me around so that I was facing the window and leaning over the couch. He took my neck in a strong grip, forcing the side of my face down to the top of the couch, and pulled my thong to the side to enter me roughly from behind. By some fucking miracle, my body knew what was coming and was ready for it, the moisture already coating my walls and soaking me.

  God, he was rock solid inside me as my body adjusted to his girth. I groaned as he pulsed in my core, yet it felt so good. But then his hand reached around and instantly gripped my throat, hauling me back to his chest and holding me there. Fear enveloped my entire body as my hands immediately wrapped around his forearm and wrist while I tried to keep my balance.

  “I know how badly you want to go outside,” he drawled in my ear, “but you need to accept the fact that any freedoms I grant you are my decision alone.” He pulled out slightly and pushed back in, sending a jolt of pain and pleasure throughout my body. “It doesn’t matter how much you try to persuade me or how mopey you become when you don’t get your way. I know when I’m being manipulated, Jaden, and I don’t appreciate it.” Again, he pulled out and thrust back in, his other hand on my hip while I whimpered against him. “I know I said good behavior is rewarded, but only when it’s honest. I expect it all day, every day, not just when you want something. So the next time you get the guts to ask me for something again, remember that, and I may not make you wait two weeks before I grant it. Do you understand me?” he said, thrusting back into me for emphasis.

  “Yes, Darren,” I gasped, trying to keep it together.

  Double fucking ouch.

  I knew I had crossed a line before, but goddamn, this was ridiculous. Darren fucked me relentlessly on the couch until we were both coming and I was screaming his name. When he was done, he pulled out and immediately righted himself, tucking his cock back into his pants. I remained exhausted and limp on the couch, my eyes still lingering on the window as I fought to catch my breath.

  “Tomorrow, you can go outside when I’m gone, but there will be new rules in place. I will discuss them with you later. Right now, I have work to do.”

  He gazed at me for a second while I remained in my position. He leaned over taking my face in one of his hands while his thumb grazed over my chin. He then kissed me softly on the lips. “Behave,” he warned and then walked away to his office, leaving me a heaping mess on the couch.

  Well, if I didn’t feel super fucking pathetic right there.

  I should be excited that he finally granted my request, but I still felt like a fool for some reason. He had been on to me the whole time. Here, I thought giving him special attention would motivate him to reward me, but the more I thought about it, the more obvious it became to me that I was only doing it to get what I wanted, and once I got what I wanted, of course, I had planned to stop. And clearly, Darren wasn’t having any of that.

  So fucking stupid …

  I rolled off the couch and went to my room to clean up. I had dinner by myself downstairs as Darren was still busy with work and even went to bed without a single interruption throughout the night. He must be really busy with something if he left me alone for the remainder of the day.

  The next morning, I met Darren downstairs on the patio for breakfast. He was reviewing some documents and talking on the phone when I sat down and made myself some tea. A guard stood off to the side, his hands behind his back, and he looked off blankly into the distance. I tried not to pay attention to him.

  “You think I give a damn what your excuses are? You tell them to figure it out and take care of it before I do.” Darren had a dark edge to his voice as he spoke to whoever was on the other line. He then hung up and stuck the phone in the inside pocket of his black suit jacket. He took a deep breath then looked over and smiled at me. “Good morning,” he said.

  “Morning,” I replied, eyeing him carefully as he turned back to his work.

  I could feel an intense energy coming off him, and it made me a little nervous. After a short minute, I just sat back in my chair, sipped my tea, and stared out at the ocean. I was sure Pascal would have our breakfast out soon anyway. And eventually, he did.

  David brought out a single silver tray and placed it down in front of me. Nothing for Darren but his coffee. David lifted the tray revealing scrambled eggs, fruit, and a small cup of vanilla yogurt. I pushed my eggs around with my fork, suddenly not really hungry. Darren might not realize it, but he greatly affected my appetite like nobody’s business.

  I sipped on my tea instead and continued to stare at the water until I heard Darren clear his throat.

  “Eat your breakfast, Jaden,” he said without even looking up from his work.

  I furrowed my brows at him. I had a smart-ass comment on the tip of my tongue, but he had just granted my request to go outside today while he was gone and I didn’t want to fuck that up.

  I stabbed some eggs with my fork and took a bite, trying to eat slowly so as not to upset my stomach. When half my eggs and fruit were gone, I sat back and slowly picked at my food until I thought Darren might be satisfied enough to at least address me. But after a few short minutes, he took a final sip of his coffee, grabbed his things, and put them in a nearby manila folder before standing from his chair.

  “I will see you later,” he said, as he buttoned his jacket.

  I looked at him confused. Didn’t we have something to discuss this morning?

  “What about the rules?” I asked him.

  “What rules?” he looked at me as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

  My eyes almost widened in panic. What if he forgot? Would he take back his word?

  “You said I could go outside today while you’re gone,” I replied carefully.

  He squinted his eyes for a second as if he were trying to remember and then his eyes finally lit up.

  “Oh yes, that’s right. I did say that,” he said casually.

  I breathed a sigh of relief … until he gave me that intense warning look again.

  “You are to remain within the sights of the guards at all times. No going beyond the trees and no swimming beyond those buoys.” He pointed out to the water where five large orange buoys were floating about a hundred feet away from shore. “Your perimeter has been extended to my property line, but that does not mean you are to try and discover it. Stay within the limits I have given you, and eventually, you will be able to go beyond them.”

  “Okay,” I said softly, my eyes staring right into his.

  “Come here,” he said, holding his arms out.

  I sl
owly stood and went to him. When I closed the distance, Darren wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest in a tight embrace. He held me for a while, his nose in my hair as he took several slow, deep breaths as if he were breathing me in. I rested my cheek on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was strong, steady, and oddly calming to me as I focused on the tempo.

  Moments like these confused me the most. For someone so strong and so cruel, I loved that he could be gentle with me and could just hold me like this. Moments like these told me I meant something to him. That I was more than just a tight fuck toy for him. And moments like these left me hungry for more.

  After a short minute, Darren pushed me away from him by my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye.

  “You will listen to the guards and obey the rules. If they tell you to refrain from doing something, you don’t fight or argue. You do what they say, when they say it because, believe it or not, it’s for your own protection, Jaden. They’re not here to just watch over you. They are here to protect you. Let them do their job.”

  “Okay.” I nodded. He turned his head and gave me a warning look. “Yes, Darren,” I corrected myself.

  He relaxed slightly.

  “I know how much you wanted this, and now, I’m trusting you not to make me regret it. Do not disappoint me, Jaden, because if you do, this will not happen again for a very long time.”

  Darren’s face was intense with warning, and I didn’t want to think about being shunned back into my room because I fucked this up with my stubbornness. I needed to behave long enough for him to trust me.

  “I’m not going to disappoint you, Darren,” I replied, sounding as serious as I possibly could. “I promise.”

  “Good,” he said. He then leaned down, took my face in his hands, and kissed me softly on the mouth. His lips were gentle as they caressed mine, his tongue sliding in and claiming everything it touched. By the time he was done, I was breathless and disorientated, but I shook it off as he looked down at me and smiled. “I’ll see you at dinner,” he said, then kissed my forehead and walked back into the house, leaving me on the patio.

  I sat back in my chair with a huff of relief and looked out to the ocean. So many new possibilities before me and I couldn’t wait to explore.

  Chapter Thirty

  New Boundaries

  After running upstairs to change into some workout clothes and wash my makeup off, I practically skipped my happy ass all the way back to the patio. I decided I wanted to go for a run on the beach. But when I came back to the patio, there wasn’t just one guard standing there, there were three. They were big guys, too, not nearly as tall as Darren, but still much taller than I was. I eyed them carefully as I stepped around them, looking them up and down and noticing everything I could about them. None of them even looked at me.

  “Uh … I’m gonna go for a run on the beach.” I pointed with my thumb over my shoulder.

  One guard, the one in the middle, nodded slightly but still didn’t look at me. God, that wasn’t just annoying, it was plain fucking rude. I rolled my eyes at them, turned on my heels, and headed down to the shore as my excitement quickly returned.

  When I got to the sand, I took my Nikes off and left them on the grass as I walked barefoot to the water. A sense of freedom calmed me as I stepped into the oncoming waves of the ocean, and it felt like bathwater against my skin. The perfect temperature.

  I took one last look at the guards before sprinting off down the shore. I started with a slow, easy jog just to soak up the sun and breathe in the salty air. I must have run up and down the shore for an hour, turning around every fifteen minutes. I was afraid I might leave the sight of the guards and then I’d be in trouble.

  The sun was blazing out, and eventually, sweat covered my body. I could’ve gone back inside and showered, but I wanted to do something fun instead. So I ran into the water and dived with my clothes on with not a single care in the world. When I surfaced, I floated on my back for a while, just taking in the soft blue sky and watching the seagulls fly above me. At that moment, I forgot everything around me. I forgot about Darren, about his rules, about his name on my skin, and the cuffs around my body. I forgot about the pain, the grief, and the vengeance and I just … drifted. It was everything I needed as the clarity I had longed for finally came to me. But it wasn’t meant to last forever.

  “Miss Jaden!” I heard someone shout my name. I immediately rose up from the water to address the voice, noticing it was a guard calling me from the beach. “It’s time to come in for lunch!” he called.

  Lunch? Fuck lunch.

  Except I promised Darren I would listen to the guards. I didn’t want to fuck this up, and I was actually a little hungry.

  “Okay!” I shouted back to him as I made my way toward the shore.

  The guard stood there watching me and waited for me to walk to him. He had a large beach towel in his hand, and he handed it to me when I reached him.

  “Thank you,” I said, taking the towel and wrapping it around myself to dry off.

  I grabbed my shoes that sat in the grass and the guard escorted me back to the table on the patio where my lunch was apparently waiting. I ate my lunch quietly, trying to ignore the guards as they stood around, staring off into the distance.

  “So are you guys, like, my permanent outdoor babysitters or something?” I asked between bites. I probably shouldn’t have been talking to them, but … I was me.

  None of them said a word—didn’t even look my way.

  I nodded at their silence, not really offended but not really surprised. “Lucky you guys,” I said, taking another bite of my turkey sandwich.

  When I was done with my lunch, I headed back into the house to wash the salt water from my hair and body. The guards remained where they were as I went back inside. After my shower, I redid my hair and makeup, put on another black skort and a hot pink t-shirt, and headed back outside in my Nikes. I was determined to spend the entire day under the sun if I could.

  I walked along the gardens, ventured around the pool, and got a damn good idea of the size of the house and all its windows and accesses. Everywhere I went, a guard was not far from my sight, and they watched me like hawks. If I ventured too far into the trees, one of them would call out my name and wave me back. Begrudgingly, I listened to them like a good little girl to show Darren I was serious about following his rules. I wanted to show him how grateful I was that he was finally letting me out of my cage a little bit.

  When he came home that afternoon, he found me lying on the grass, my hands behind my head while I stared up at the clouds. I could hear him coming, sensing his presence even before he was near when suddenly his face came into focus and he beamed down at me.

  “Hi, there.” He smiled.

  “Hi.” I smiled back genuinely, remaining in my position as I looked up at him. I was too happy being outside to let him sour my mood with his presence.

  “How was your day?” he asked curiously.

  “Fantastic,” I replied. “Yours?”

  “Equally fantastic.”

  “I doubt that.” I smiled with amusement.

  “What are you doing down there?”

  “Trying to determine if that cloud looks more like a rabbit or a wolf.” I pointed up at the sky to the cloud I was mentioning.

  “Hmm … I don’t know,” Darren said as he laid down on the grass beside me. I was shocked that he was joining me. I would have thought he might have been afraid he’d ruin his suit. “I don’t think those ears are short enough to be a wolf,” he said, as he folded his hands behind his head as I had mine. I turned my gaze back to the sky.

  “But the tail is too long to be a rabbit,” I said.

  “Maybe, but the body is kind of small, similar to how a rabbit sits.”

  “True, but the wolf could also be laying down on its side.”

  “I’m taking it you’re leaning more toward the cloud being a wolf,” Darren stated.

  I shrugged. “I like
wolves.”

  “Well, how fortunate,” Darren declared as he rolled over onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow and giving me a devilish smile. “Because I like rabbits.”

  And then, in a flash, he was on top of me; he was kissing me all over my face, my neck, my shoulder, all the while tickling the shit out of my sides and stomach. “I like to hunt them and eat them for dinner.” He chuckled against my skin as he furiously began to tickle me into oblivion.

  I screamed in shock and squirmed under him, laughing loudly and uncontrollably as I fought to push his hands away.

  “Ah! No, no, no, no! Stop it! Stop it!” I laughed as I squeezed my elbows into my sides to block his strong fingers from my skin. “Darren, stop it!”

  His laugh was genuine and carefree as he continued to tickle me in the grass. “Stop?” He chuckled. “I don’t think so.”

  And then his lips went back to my neck; I crunched my face to the side to try to block his advance, but his fingers kept my body twitching and jerking under him uncontrollably. I was somehow finally able to grab his fingers; I locked them in my hands and finally pushed him away, but he just rolled us so I ended up straddling him. I looked deep into his smiling face as I came down from my laughter only to realize my position.

  I stared into the deep dark blue of his eyes and lost myself for a moment. I could feel Darren staring up at me, and at that moment, I had a feeling he was currently swimming in the amber of mine. God, he was so beautiful, his face carved like that of an angel, but he had the soul of a demon and that made him the ugliest human on Earth.

  I could feel my happy mood begin to fade away as I realized I had been laughing with Darren like I was happy, like everything was okay, but it wasn’t. This wasn’t supposed to be, but when I heard the sound of his honest laughter, it did something to me. It wasn’t the normal evil chuckle he administered; no, this one was relaxed and light. It was the sound of his joy … and it was with me.