My Name Is Not Alexa Pearce

by Kerri McLoone

  “So how then, exactly, do you plan on finding which library we’re supposed to look for?”

  Julius looks at Damon as if he’s an idiot and mutters, “Dumb fuck,” before he says, “It’s a large city so it’ll have a public library, and probably more than one. So we’ll start at the biggest and work our way down if need be.”

  He turns his phone toward Damon to show him the information he’s pulled up on the browser. The bright, backlit screen shows the home page for the Multnomah County Central Library.

  ● 31 ●

  Cali

  Wednesday morning Cali’s first alarm goes off at nine. She shuts it off and falls back asleep quickly. When her second alarm goes off at ten, she sleeps right through it until it shuts off itself. Finally, when her third alarm goes off at eleven, Cali slams her hand down on the large off button on the clock, stretches her body and picks up her phone to put on some music, all while not quite fully awake.

  The soft sheets glide smoothly over her naked body as she rolls to her side and reaches her arm out for Mickey, looking for some morning cuddles. The side of the bed is cool to the touch, and her hand lands on a piece of paper instead of the equally naked body of her girlfriend. The crinkling sound it makes as her hand closes around it wakes her fully.

  The note says: Forgot I had an early session today. I’ll see you later for lunch. Love you!

  Cali’s mouth turns up, forming a soft smile. She yawns and gets up out of bed. She stretches again before putting on some pajama boxers and a t-shirt that smells like her girlfriend. She tucks her phone into the elastic band of the shorts, music still playing.

  She opens her bedroom door and walks to the small kitchen. As she hums along with her playlist, Cali grabs a big bowl from the cabinet and a spoon from the drawer. She takes the milk out of the fridge and jumps as she feels Milo brush up against her leg.

  “Hey, Dog Man, way to stealth. I didn’t even hear you coming,” Cali says through a yawn. She bends down to ruffle Milo’s fur and says, “Man, I can’t seem to wake up today, dude.”

  Cali settles onto the couch after grabbing one of the boxes of cereal Alexa had picked up on Sunday. She pours herself a bowl and turns on the TV. Before it powers on entirely, she gets a glimpse of her auburn hair in her reflection on the screen. It’s an unruly combo of bed-head and sex hair. Milo sits in front of her waiting patiently for any pieces that drop from Cali’s bowl or mouth.

  The still half-asleep woman flips through the channels and doesn’t find anything she feels like watching so she goes through the On Demand menu. She scans through the options and can’t decide on something to watch, so she scrolls back to her recently played options, finds Milo’s favorite movie and hits play.

  “Check it out, Milo,” Cali points with her spoon to the TV. Milo turns and gets up panting as he sees the St. Bernard dog come onto the screen. He jumps up onto the couch next to Cali and lays down, for the moment forgetting the food Cali is eating.

  Cali smirks and says to herself, “My, my, my. How convenient.”

  At a quarter to one, Cali sends a text to Alexa asking her if they are still on for lunch together today. As soon as she hits send, she remembers that her roommate said she’s doing some project for her boss in the basement of the library in the mornings and service is spotty. So she’s surprised when she gets a text back almost immediately.

  LEX: yes please!

  CAL: yay! do you want to go to Marty’s?

  LEX: definitely

  LEX: want me to meet you there? or you could meet me here? then we can walk there together

  CAL: i’ll come to you. i’m going to bring dog man with me. we could both use some fresh air

  Cali throws a blanket over her and Milo so only their heads are visible and takes a selfie of them. She edits the photo on her phone to add some sleepy ZZZs and sends it Alexa.

  LEX: milo could use some fresh air for sure. that pup is getting soft!

  CAL: he is not! you’re just jealous because i get to spend more time with dog man than you

  LEX: .....soft

  Cali scoffs then laughs as she says to the pup next to her, “Can you believe what your mother just said to me, Milo?”

  The dog gives her a sideways glance but doesn’t move his face away from his movie. She types out her response and says each word out loud as she does.

  CAL: i take offense to that!

  LEX: hahaha

  CAL: i’m gonna get dressed real quick so what time should i come?

  LEX: i’m still in the basement and probably won’t be finished for another half hour maybe?

  CAL: ok. i’ll meet you outside the main entrance at 139

  LEX: 139? that’s an oddly specific time lol

  CAL: haha shut up i meant to hit the 0

  LEX: ok i’ll see you then

  Cali gets up, rinses her empty bowl and spoon in the sink, and puts the cereal box away above the fridge. Shooting a quick text to Mickey letting her know what time and where they are meeting, she goes back through the living room and bypasses her bedroom. Cali heads right to the bathroom to wash up.

  She exits the bathroom in a towel and heads into her bedroom to rummage through her closet for something comfy to wear. Five minutes later she’s back in the living room wearing olive green jeggings and a waffle knit gray long sleeve shirt with a hood.

  Cali steps over to the couch that Milo hasn’t budged from and turns off the cable box and TV. Milo’s head shoots up and he immediately starts to whine.

  “Sorry, dude, we got to go,” Cali says to the dog. “We’re going to grab some lunch at Marty’s.”

  Milo, still whining, rolls onto his side on the couch and buries his head under the blanket. Cali takes his harness and leash off the hook and clicks the clasp a few times. That’s all it takes for Milo to forget about his movie. The prospect of going for a walk to a dog is always exciting.

  Before they know it, Cali and Milo are walking down SW Tenth, closing in on the library. A couple of men walk past Cali and Milo and the taller of the two bumps into Cali. The force whips her around and she stumbles. If not for the arms of the man darting out to steady her, she would’ve fallen to the ground.

  “Excuse us,” the man says still holding onto Cali. The fur on the back of Milo’s neck rises, he presses himself into Cali’s leg as he growls at the two men in front of them.

  “Whoa. Easy there, Fluffy,” the shorter of the pair says taking half a step back. He glares at Cali with cold black eyes and says aggressively, “You might want to put a muzzle on your mutt there.”

  The taller man who caught Cali still hasn’t let her go. His grip is slowly becoming tighter on both of her forearms. Milo maneuvers himself in between them and growls again. The man ignores the dog and starts talking to Cali.

  “Hey there, sugar,” he says. “I’m Damon.”

  He towers over her and smiles at her. It’s not a friendly greeting though. His eyes look closer to a lion’s when it’s about to go in for the kill. Milo’s growling becomes louder, but without being told any command the rumbling in his chest is as much as he’s allowed to do.

  “Let go of me,” Cali says calmly but forcefully. Damon doesn’t release her but instead squeezes a little more. She tries to pull her arms out of his grasp, but Damon holds tighter and pulls her in a little closer to him.

  “Let go!” Cali yells loudly. She takes a full step backward, able to finally disentangle herself from him with a strong yank. Rubbing her arms that are sore from his grip, she takes another large step backward and turns around to keep walking toward the library.

  “Hey, where you going, honey?” Damon says sweetly. She’s stopped again as she bumps into the shorter man that she hadn’t realized had moved behind her. Damon takes a few quick steps to come and stand next to the other man blocking Cali. Milo growls louder as he again moves between Cali and the men in front of them.

  “You didn’t tell me your name, sugar.”

  “Intentionally,” Cali replies step
ping to the side to move around him. Damon steps with her.

  “Come on now, don’t be like that,” Damon says. “How about you tell me your name then you and I go get a drink.”

  “No,” Cali firmly replies.

  Damon goes to take a step toward her and reaches out again as if to grab her. Milo has had enough and barks loudly at the two men drawing some attention to them. He lunges slightly forward with each bark. Cali tightens her grip on his leash as she holds him back.

  She suddenly remembers the command that Alexa told her about over the weekend, but she sees something directly behind the two men that makes her realize she doesn’t need it. A broad grin forms on her face. The menacing smiles on both of the men in front of her quickly change to perplexed frowns.

  “Do we have a problem here?” Mickey’s voice is steelier and more forceful than Cali has ever heard, but still music to her ears and especially right now.

  Cali uses the mild surprise both men exhibit at the voice coming from behind them to her advantage. As they turn around to face whoever is butting into their business, she gently tugs Milo and moves to stand behind Mickey. Milo pulls on his leash to step in front of Mickey and put himself in between the pairs.

  Damon smirks at the two women in front of him and says, “No, no problem. I was just offering to take sugar here for a drink.”

  “And what did she say?” Mickey asks. The sound coming out of her mouth is frigid, her anger at someone disrespecting her girlfriend hardly concealed.

  “She said no, but—”

  “Well then you’ve got your answer,” Mickey cuts Damon off.

  “No, I don’t think so, sweetie. I think she needs to think about it a little before she just says no, you know?”

  Damon takes a slight step forward and Milo promptly blocks his way. Mickey looks down at the dog and then back up and smiles at the man with zero warmth.

  “Well, sugar,” Mickey says patronizingly. “No means no. Both of you walk away now or I’m calling the police. Okay, darling?”

  “Alright, that’s enough Damon,” the shorter man says, stepping in to push Damon back a little. “Move it.”

  Damon doesn’t budge. He just stares at Cali hungrily. When he licks his lips, the shorter man puts two hands on his chest and shoves him more forcefully and says, “Damon, now.”

  Again the taller man doesn’t move. The short, fat man shakes his head and puts the fingertips of one hand on Damon’s chest. The bald man stumbles backward, catching himself before he falls.

  “Let’s go.”

  Damon finally starts backpedaling away from the women. He calls out over the shoulder of the shorter man, “Bye-bye, baby, I’ll see you again, soon.”

  Mickey turns around to Cali and tucks her girlfriend under her arm. The two women hear the shorter guy growl something that sounds like, “We’re not here for this, you dumb fuck.”

  “You okay, baby?” Mickey asks.

  In the safety of her girlfriend’s arms, Cali begins to tremble slightly as her adrenaline starts to recede. She looks down first at Milo stock still on alert watching the men walk away, then up to Mickey and says, “Y-Yeah.”

  She makes some kissing sounds and calls Milo over to settle him. He doesn’t budge at first but Cali remembers what Alexa said at the laundromat to calm him down.

  “What was that guy’s problem?” Mickey asks. She pulls Cali into her even tighter. Her eyes are narrowed and zeroed in on the two men who are strolling down the block as if without a care in the world. As if they hadn’t just hurt Cali.

  Cali gives her girlfriend a kiss, her body still buzzing. She tucks her face into Mickey’s neck and says, “I don’t know. But, let’s go catch up with Lex. She’s probably waiting for us.”

  ● 32 ●

  “Alexa”

  “What’s wrong!?”

  Matt’s tense voice cuts through the daydream I was having, imagining what I could accomplish this afternoon in CCR3 with The Book. Even though the library didn’t technically open today until about a half hour ago, I had come in at ten to work on my project. Matt only works half a day today but came in early for us to all go to lunch. I had spent the last few hours with Samantha in CCR1 cataloging the next five books together as a team.

  I look up to where I heard the sound and see him coming down the cement steps in front of the library. I’m ready to ask what he means, but I follow his gaze and realize he’s not looking at me, he’s looking at Mickey and Cali stepping onto the curb from the crosswalk.

  My roommate is secured next to her girlfriend’s body. Cali’s face is pale, she’s clearly shaken up by something. The couple is trying to calm Milo down without success. I see the fur along his spine is raised and he’s on full alert. His lip is curled, barring his teeth and his eyes are constantly roaming, ready to attack anyone who gets too close.

  I’m briefly paralyzed as I watch my dog come closer to me. I’ve only ever seen this extreme of a reaction from Milo once before. Milo acting like this can mean only one thing, I think. There is evil nearby. Supernatural evil. I’m unable to think of anything else at the moment as I get up and quickly go over to the women, right on Matt’s heels.

  “What’s going on?” I ask. Milo immediately pulls against his leash to get to me as quick as possible. As soon as he’s by my side, he puts his head between my knees and presses in tight, nearly knocking me over. His tail is down and motionless.

  “What happened?” I ask again.

  “Some jerk grabbed me, and then he and his lardo crony blocked my path,” Cali says. She’s tucked under Mickey’s arm and I have a feeling she’s going to stay like that for a while. “I thought Milo was literally going to bite his leg off.”

  “Where are these assholes now?” Matt asks. His face hardens with anger. He looks over the women’s shoulders searching for the culprits. Mickey stops him with a hand to his chest.

  “I watched them walk away,” she says.

  Cali looks me right in the eyes and says, “He was way more riled up than when we saw Tyler at the laundromat. I was pretty freaked out by those guys, but Milo was, like, instantly on guard. I even thought about giving him one of those commands you told me, but I didn’t have to.”

  She looks down at my dog, who is still pressing his head between my knees. Cali pats her hand on Mickey’s stomach before squatting down and calling Milo to her. I tell him everything’s okay and he goes over to her. Cali hugs Milo tightly and holds onto him, the tip of his tail starts to wag slightly. It’s a long moment before she speaks again.

  “Thank you, Dog Man,” she says. “It’s like you knew those guys were bad news before they even bumped into us.”

  Cali stands up and curls herself into Mickey again. She buries her face into her girlfriend’s neck. When she moves her face to look at us again, her eyes are shiny with tears.

  “That guy really grabbed me,” she says clearly shaken and overwhelmed by all of her emotions. “I mean, he bumped into me accidentally and then grabbed me to stop me from falling. But then he held on too tight for too long.

  “I know self-defense,” she looks around at the three of us, we nod to confirm we know that too. “And I usually don’t feel threatened by anything. But this was different. It’s like I was so shocked I was paralyzed.”

  Cali looks down at Milo. “And nobody said anything. There were people on the street, but nobody did anything. If Milo wasn’t with me,” she pauses and looks up into Mickey’s eyes. “Or if you didn’t show up when you did, I don’t know what might’ve happened. He could’ve...”

  Her voices cracks as the seriousness of what just happened settles over her. Mickey hugs her tight and directs her to one of the benches around the library. The two sit down holding onto each other. Cali puts her face in the crook of Mickey’s neck. The older woman kisses the top of her head and rubs her back.

  “It’s okay, you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

  Mickey repeats that a few times while slightly rocking with Cali. I can feel Milo
pressing into my leg and hear him whining softly. I reach down without looking to pat his head but Matt’s hand is already there comforting my pup.

  At this moment I wish I could read Milo’s mind and find out exactly who those men were. But, it doesn’t even really matter. His reaction leaves little doubt about their identities. If there are demons in Portland, or at the very least Victus, it means that they are most likely here for one thing — me.

  It also means that someone I care about has gotten hurt because of me again.

  The guilt that I have repeatedly buried over these last five years compresses and settles like a stone in my stomach. I’ve left my family to fend for itself. I don’t even know for sure what happened to one of my brothers. Darius, evil incarnate, is still out there. Who knows how many other people have been hurt or killed while I’ve been running scared, I think. I can feel my eyes burn as they start to fill with tears.