Everlasting Love

by M. S. Brannon

She is a witch. I can’t believe I came here to forgive her for the shit she said to me, but this is the final straw. I want nothing more to do with this woman.

  I raise my hand and connect it with her cheek. The sound could be heard miles away as hard as I slapped her. My hand stings and it leaves an instant red mark on her fake, tan skin. While she acts totally wounded, holding her hand to her cheek, her eyes open as wide as saucers, I stand in front of her and scowl.

  “I hope you rot in hell, you fucking bitch!” I shout in her face then turn on my heels, storming from her house.

  Knowing I don’t have a car, I walk down the driveway and make it to the security station. I ask the man inside the booth to call me a cab. It doesn’t take long for it to show up, and I am finally able to go back to the hotel. I really hope Jake is there. I need to feel his arms right now. I need to tell him I love him, and I want to be with him. I want him to know I will support him. I don’t want to give up on us. I never did; I just need to do what is best for my family.

  I walk past the front desk and manage to make it to the elevator before the tears bubble from my eyes. I can’t believe she called my children mutts. How could she be so cold toward them? I understand she’s mad at me, but don’t bring my kids into it. They are innocent. Before, I would never hit my mother, but after what she said, she deserved to be slapped across the face.

  When I walk into the room, I can see the red message light lit up on the hotel phone. I turn on the lamp and read the instructions on how to retrieve it. I don’t think it’s Zoe; we spoke earlier, and everyone was doing well. I explained to her what happened with Jake, and she said she hadn’t heard from him, either.

  I push the button, and the voice mail clicks on. “Your plane ticket is at the front desk.” It’s from Jake; he’s gone.

  The dam bursts and my emotions explode out of my body. The message was left four hours ago. For the first time in our relationship, I know it’s over.

  I fall to the bed and wail my broken heart into the pillow. My father is gone, and now Jake is gone, too.

  My truck is barreling down the interstate at ninety miles per hour as I head north to my home. Last night, when I walked out on Delilah, it took me five minutes to find a little hole in the wall bar to drink myself into oblivion. The bartender called me a cab that I took to a cheap motel a mile or so down the road where I passed out. When I finally woke up, I had missed the funeral, and I really didn’t give a fuck.

  I went to the lobby, booked a ticket for Delilah, and took it to her hotel. I am so angry with her right now there is no way I could ride fourteen hours in a car with her. I don’t know when I will be able to be around her again.

  She has this amazing ability to make me believe one thing then completely do another, and I’m the fucking moron who always falls for it. Well, I don’t want to fall into that trap again, so I bought her ticket and got the fuck out of there. Now, I’m left with a wicked headache, miles upon miles to travel, and an unknown future on my horizon.

  ***

  As I pull into the shop near closing time, Randy is pulling the garage doors down when I walk through into the office. Opening my desk drawer, I pull out a bottle of Jack and take a long drink. The whiskey heats my stomach and immediately settles my stressed out nerves.

  I look at the appointment books and realize tomorrow is going to suck. The appointments I rescheduled because of her are showing up tomorrow. I really have no desire to deal with anyone right now, but I have to make a living, so there’s no other choice. Though, it makes me miss the days of hustling and working when I want to, not when I have to.

  I hear Randy walk through my office door. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him standing over my desk. He is a really quiet person and weirds me out sometimes. I often wonder what the hell he does when he’s not here.

  As he walks deeper into the room, I notice a smell of smoke on his clothes. I start to question it when I get an uneasy feeling of him standing over me.

  “Either sit down and have a drink with me or go home, Randy. Don’t just stand there like a fucking creep,” I say as I look over the last two days’ worth of invoices and review the books for the day.

  Randy merely looks at me, saying nothing, just keeps fucking staring. What the hell is his problem?

  When I finally make eye contact, his are filled with a strange glow. He has a wicked smile on his face and looks like he is as high as a kite or really fucking mentally unstable. I dial back my anger and try to talk to him like I would one of my kids.

  “You okay, Randy?” I take another sip of whiskey, keeping my focus on him.

  “Oh, I had a slight accident when you were gone. It just happened right before you walked through the door.” Jesus, that’s all I need is to have him out of work for an injury. Not only will I have to notify my insurance if it’s bad enough, but I will have to find someone to work for him while he’s out.

  Annoyed, I ask, “What the hell happened?”

  “You need to come with me so I can show you.” I look at him with disgust, wondering what the hell he’s going to show me.

  He leads us through the shop, around the equipment, and out the back door. I look to the back of the building and see the black burn marks snaking up the white siding.

  “I was smoking a cigarette, and there must have been something flammable in the bucket I was tossing my butt into because the side went up fast.” That’s when I notice his smile. Kind of innocent yet sort of snakelike. It gives me an eerie feeling in my gut. “I was able to get it out with water, but it caused some pretty good damage.” Randy looks down again, that weird look on his face continuing. He is trying to hide his face like a kid in trouble, but there is a gleam in his eye.

  “Jesus Christ,” I mumble under my breath and shake my head in disgust.

  This is all I fucking need right now. Well, at least the entire building didn’t go up in flames.

  I look over to Randy and roll my eyes at him. “Try to be a little more careful next time. Now, go home,” I snap at him. I don’t want to continue this weird conversation anymore.

  “Okay.” He walks around the building while I go inside, locking the doors.

  After I flop down in the chair again and take another long drink from the bottle, I start thinking about Randy and the fire. That could have been really bad if he wasn’t able to put it out. I was pretty lucky in that respect. In fact, I don’t recall Randy ever smoking around me. I have never smelled it on him, but maybe it’s something he does when he’s alone.

  My thoughts of Randy are distracted when my cell phone rings. Like clockwork, a number I have come to recognize pops up on the screen.

  Jeremy has been calling me every night for the last couple of months. At first, he never left a message, so I didn’t know who it was, but when he finally did, I committed his new phone number to memory. His messages never say much, and like tonight, I punch in the code to activate my voicemail.

  “Hey, it’s Jeremy. Call me.”

  I delete the message and take another drink of Jack. Right now, I have a ton of shit to catch up on, and I don’t really have time to chat. In fact, I don’t want to chat with him or anyone. I want to sit in the quiet of my office, get drunk, and pass out. I don’t want to think about Delilah, my kids, or my brothers. I only want to live in unconsciousness. It’s the unconsciousness that keeps my reality manageable enough to deal with. Otherwise, I would lose my mind.

  I can’t remember the last time I have been so happy to be home, but I truly am. I have been away from my kids for three days, buried my father, and lost the man I love probably for good. My flight arrived in Detroit late, and the two hour drive in the rental car felt like an eternity. However, I make it back in time to kiss my babies before they go to bed. Zoe meets me at the car rental place in town so I can drop off the car and have a ride back home.

  When I walk through the front door, I am bombarded by children. I fall to my knees and hold all my babies as best as I can, kissing their heads and sq
ueezing them in my arms. I’ve missed them so much, but I’m grateful Drake and Zoe were still around to watch them. I don’t know what I would have done if they were gone. I guess they would have had to come with us. Maybe Jake and I wouldn’t be where we are in our relationship if I had just taken them. Maybe we would be on the mend instead of miles apart.

  I let the kids stay up an extra hour so I can visit with them. After baths, I tuck each one in bed, sharing my love with them and kissing them good night. When I make it out to the living room, Zoe is sitting on the couch, ready to hear about my trip.

  The moment our eyes connect, I fall apart, crying into my hands. She rushes to my side and holds me in her arms, not say anything, only comforting me with her embrace. I needed this. I needed a hug to make myself feel slightly better.

  “Everything is falling apart,” I say between sobs. “I just buried my dad, I slapped my mother when she called my children mutts, and Jake and I had the biggest fight, and now that’s over.” I stumble my way over to the couch and Zoe follows. “I feel like I have no one anymore. Darcie is gone, now you’re leaving. I’m stuck in this godforsaken place without a soul to depend on. I don’t know how much more devastation I can take.”

  “What happened with Jake?” Zoe rubs my back then leans over to the side table, grabbing a tissue from the box.

  “We got to the hotel room, and like we always do, we had sex.” I close my eyes, remembering how beautiful it was, how wonderful it felt. I wanted him back in my life then and there. “But when I told him we needed to work on our relationship, and I mentioned his drinking, he flew off the handle. He walked out of the hotel, and I haven’t seen him since. He won’t return my phone calls. He left a plane ticket at the front desk and that’s that.

  “I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to know how much I wanted to be with him and how I would support him through his sobriety, but he stormed out before I got the chance.” I take the tissue and wipe my face. “It doesn’t matter anyway. If he didn’t leave, we’d still be in this hell hole of a city. He’d never leave, not with the shop or the current relationship he has with his brothers. He’s too damn stubborn.”

  “That might not be the case,” Zoe says. I look to her, confused. She smiles and elaborates, “Cami and I have been talking since she’s left. She told me Jeremy understands where Jake is coming from, and that everyone is just mad at him, but Darcie and Reggie both say they won’t disown him. I guess Jeremy has been trying to get a hold of Jake for a while now, and he won’t answer his phone or return his messages. I guess he wants to talk to Jake about all that’s happened and try to help.”

  My heart swells when I think about this family. Jake said something most families would never forgive and hold over the person’s head until their dying day, but not this family. Granted, they’re angry, but they still want Jake to a part of their lives, just like with Jeremy.

  Jeremy did some horrible things, ripped this family apart, and now he’s back in good graces with everyone. It took some time, and Jeremy had to deal with the aftermath of Presley’s death with Drake, but their relationship is incredibly strong.

  Then it dawns on me. Maybe Jake’s and my relationship isn’t what needs to be repaired; it’s the relationship he has with his brothers. We have had our fair share of arguments before Reggie’s accident, but when he was shot and then decided to move away, Jake plummeted quickly into the bottle. Maybe if I can make him see he needs to talk to Jeremy, he will be willing to mend the wounds with them and eventually with me.

  I miss him, so it’s worth a shot. I have taken so many risks from the moment I laid eyes on him, and tonight, I will take another. I have to make him see that repairing the relationships with his brothers will put him on the right path to getting sober.

  I jump up from the couch and run over to the door. “Zoe, I’ve got to talk to him. I know you’re leaving for Eden Heights tomorrow, but I have to talk to him. He needs to know his family wants him in his life. I think that is half the problem.”

  Zoe simply nods her head, and then I storm from the house.

  I start my Suburban and back quickly down the driveway. Now, where do I find him? I cruise by the shop and notice his truck is not there. Okay, maybe he hasn’t made it home yet. No, I know he mentioned they have a lot of work on the schedule for tomorrow, and he wouldn’t stand up his customers.

  I drive down the main drag on the Southside, not seeing his vehicle anywhere. Then I finally realize where I will find him, a place I haven’t stepped foot in since Reggie’s birthday party.

  I pull my car in and park, and then I make my way to the door. Big Mike is at his usual post, but the look on his face is utter shock.

  “Delilah, hey what … what are you doing down here?” His eyes dart to the side quickly then fall back on mine.

  “I’m looking for Jake. Have you seen him?” I say, taking note of the uncomfortable look on his face. I cock my head to the side, my gut sinking to my feet. He’s seen him, and he’s probably wasted and passed out in the back.

  I roll my eyes, knowing he’s not going to tell me anything, anyway. I weave my way through the crowd. I forgot how noisy it is in here along with the way it smells of dirt and beer. I keep my head focused to the front, hoping Gavin will be a little more helpful, when fiery red hair captures my attention. I turn my head and witness the worst possible moment of my life.

  Jake is sitting in the corner booth, a half empty whiskey bottle in front of him, and his lips are planted onto the red head’s face.

  I grab onto the bar to keep myself from tumbling to the ground as I watch the man I love, the father of my children, make out with the old bar slut he used to screw back in the day. Before we got together, she was his regular, and now it looks like he’s falling into his old ways once again.

  My legs are frozen as my eyes witness the official end of our relationship. I can feel my body tremble as the tears leak from my eyes, my heart shatters into the tiniest pieces, and my breath gets sucked from my body.

  I stand frozen as I witness the door closing on my old life. Nothing will ever be the same again. I feel like I’m going to throw up, the need to purge finally ripping me away from Jake and the red head’s make out session.

  I run from the bar, past Big Mike, and fall to the ground just as the vomit rises. My knees ache and my hands are scraped from the hard fall; however, the worst pain is the one growing in my chest.

  I should have known this would happen. He said he was done, on more than one occasion, but I held onto the smallest bit of hope. Hope that was destroyed the moment I walked into The Slab.

  I kneel on the ice cold ground for several minutes before I have the strength to get up. My knees are weak, but I manage to make it into my car. I drive home, wondering what the hell I’m going to do now.

  When I crack my eyes open, I look around to find myself in an unfamiliar place. The pounding in my head prevents me from getting a good look at my surroundings, until I hear a moan next to me.

  I shoot my body off the bed, seeing nothing except red hair. Oh, fuck, what the hell did I do last night? The girl I used to fuck on a regular basis is lying on the mattress next to me with her tits exposed to the room.

  I look down at myself, noticing I still have all my clothes on. Briefly, I’m relieved, but not really, because I have no fucking clue what happened. The last thing I remember is drinking heavily at the shop. I must have gotten antsy and driven to The Slab, although I don’t even remember doing that.

  I look for my shoes and spot them at the foot of the bed. As quietly as possible, I slip them on and creep toward the front door. I keep my head looking over my shoulder as I walk slowly out of her room, but my boot slams into the doorframe, waking her up. The red head sits up and looks questionably at me. Dammit, now I have to talk to her when all I want to do is leave.

  “Good, you’re awake.” The red head slips out of bed, standing naked in front of me.

  She hasn’t changed much since the last time I saw her
this way. She is still a knock out with pale, white skin; perky tits; and a willingness to do just about anything.

  Then it dawns on me, I can do whatever I want to her. Delilah and I are no longer. What would it hurt to get lost in her body just like I used to back in the day? From what I remember, she is an excellent lay and loves it when I exert my asshole persona over her. She loves me to boss her around, fuck her in any position possible, and leave her feeling high.

  I stride over to her naked body and get my clothed frame within inches of hers. Her breath hitches as she anticipates a simple touch. The red head loves it when I toy with her, and I find myself wanting to fuck her. Not because I care about her and have been pining after her for years. No, I want to fuck her to forget about another girl. I want to forget about the girl who’s scarred my brain and held me under her spell for years. If I fuck this girl now, I will shed everything I have ever had with Delilah or anything I would want to have with her in the future.

  “Having second thoughts?” The red head recaptures my attention, and I glare at her. “Hopefully, this isn’t a repeat of last night.”

  “Why, what happened last night?” I ask, knowing I don’t remember shit.

  “Well, you mauled me in the bar, and when I suggested we come here, you stumbled up the stairs and passed out on my bed. Not exactly what I had in mind nor was listening to you talk in your sleep, either.”

  Confused, I ask, “What did I say?”

  “Mumbling mostly, but your little woman’s name was as clear as day. Not exactly a turn on in my book.” The red head puts her hand on my chest and runs it down my torso. “However, I’d be willing to help you forget whatever you were thinking about and give you something far better than a dream.” She leans up on her tiptoes and presses her lips to my neck. Her lips are wet and warm, but it’s the spot where Delilah normally kissed me, and it does nothing for me when the red head does it. The very thought of Delilah’s name extinguishes any desire of fucking this red head.