Scarred

by Amber Lynn Natusch

  “Marked? What are you talking about?” I said, retreating to the closet for cover.

  “How can you know so little about weres?” he asked, totally frustrated.

  “Well they don't exactly have a Werewolves For Dummies guide book that they hand out when you become one, do they?” I said, poking my head out again.

  “Fine,” he said, squeezing his forehead between his thumb and index finger—another of Sean's mannerisms that I wasn't going to point out. “He's Marked for the Change. He's turning into a werewolf, and from what I could gather, he'll likely Change with the next full moon,” he said, standing right outside the closet door. “That's what is making him dangerous and why I want you to stay away from him.”

  “That can't be...,” I said, pushing the door aside.

  “Well it is,” he said, staring me down. “It figures that one of the only humans in your life would come up werewolf. You're a magnet for irony.”

  “But how do you know?” I asked, sounding more desperate than I'd wanted to. My anxiety was building.

  “I can't explain it...we just know our own kind,” he said with a shrug. “Or at least most of us do.” He hadn't meant for his last words to sting from what I could tell, but they did. A lot. Not only was I a werewolf freak show, but I was a degenerate one at that, incapable of some of the most rudimentary skills needed for survival. “Rubes, it's not a big deal, but you can't be near him. It's just not safe, okay? I don't believe that he would ever mean to hurt you, but he wouldn't know that he had until it was too late,” he said, stroking his hand slowly down the side of my face. “I can't have that.”

  “So how come you never noticed this before? What changed?” I asked, needing answers to make sense of everything.

  “How old is he?” he asked.

  “Um...twenty-one? No! No, he's twenty-two now,” I offered, hoping it would help clear the matter up a bit.

  It didn't.

  “If he was born to be what he's becoming, this would be the age for his Change to happen,” he said, looming above me, “but I would've noticed. There were no signs when I saw him last.”

  “But that was months ago, Coop, and you weren't exactly in your right mind at the time.”

  It was his turn to flinch. He didn't like to think about the time he spent haunted by his old pack, strung out on Adderall. I took his hand in mine, giving a gentle squeeze to let him know everything was alright. He had hurt me back then. I don't think he'd forgiven himself yet.

  “I know,” he said quietly, “but I still would've felt it. He's been Turned, Ruby...I'm sure of it.”

  I paled instantly.

  “So he was infected?” The words came out breathlessly, barely audible.

  “Had to have been.”

  “When? I mean…that has to take a while, right? How long does it take?”

  “It's hard to say. There are factors to take into consideration: how brutal the attack was, the strength of the wolf that infected you. It could take months or days. It just depends.”

  “Days?” I whispered. I didn't like the implications.

  “Sure, if the wolf is an alpha or really old or—”

  “So it had to be the wolf that attacked him?” I asked, breathing a sigh of relief.

  “Nope,” he replied, quickly dashing my glimmer of hope. “If they're strong enough, they can do it in human form. You'd be amazed at how little it takes.”

  “But there has to blood exchanged, right? Saliva...something?” I rambled, panic taking over.

  “Yes. One or the other,” he said, eying me strangely. “Why are you shaking?”

  I didn't answer. I was racking my brain for how this could have happened; I'd only scratched Matty―I didn't exactly lick it afterward. My head only had a small bump on it after the fall, not a laceration gushing blood everywhere. I fidgeted horribly, picking at the hem of my shirt, knowing Cooper awaited an answer.

  And that's when I saw it.

  I must have torn a part of my nail off when I ripped Matty's shirt during my fall. There was a faint line of red along the tender skin that lay just beneath the nail; a healing wound. I frantically tried to put the pieces together of what happened that night, but every time I solved the puzzle, the picture it painted was grim beyond belief.

  I infected Matty.

  Cooper easily saw the wheels turning in my head.

  “Do you have something you need to tell me, Ruby?” he asked, pressing towards me.

  “No. Why? Why would you think that?”

  “Because you look like you're going to pass out any second now, and you only do that when something is up.”

  “Yeah, something is up!” I yelled. “Matty has been Turned, Cooper. I'm freaking out a bit, okay? Can you back off for a minute and let me wrap my head around this? Please?” He didn't respond. “For fuck's sake, Coop. Just leave me alone for a second!”

  “Ruby, I'm—”

  “Just GO!” I yelled, shoving him towards the door. He wasn't happy, but he didn't argue either. Slamming the door behind him, I collapsed to the floor against it. I Changed Matty...

  I wanted to call him, warn him, but I stopped myself. He'd only just come to terms with me being a werewolf; I didn't think adding the fact that he was going to be one too was helpful. Especially the part about me being the cause of it all. I was pretty certain that detail would yank out the thread we'd used to mend our friendship, unraveling it all in an instant.

  I put the phone down on the floor beside me, only to pick it right back up as it vibrated repeatedly. Sean's text read: are you speaking to me yet?

  “No,” I said aloud, “I'm not.” As I flung the phone up onto the bed, a paralyzing fear hit me—I couldn't even breathe. I managed my way up off the floor, then fumbled with the door knob, falling inelegantly backward when it turned and the latch released. Anxiously, I ran back into the living room where Cooper had resumed watching his TV show.

  “Whathappenstothewolfthatmakesyou?” I blurted out, the words coming so fast they blended into one.

  “Depends,” he said, without skipping a beat. “It's become a gray area of sorts.”

  “How gray, Cooper?”

  “Non-violent and accidental infections seem to go overlooked these days, on occasion,” he explained, still watching the TV. “Deliberate and vicious attacks are not tolerated, nor have they ever been.”

  I dropped dramatically into the chair across from him, managing not to exhale and wipe my forehead for added effect. I didn't want him to know how worried I was, though my frenzied entrance and questioning probably gave me away.

  “Don't get me wrong, though. If the PC were to find out about it, and could prove the offender's guilt,” he said, pausing his show. “They'd kill him on the spot. Creating new wolves isn't part of their 'keeping the balance' plan.”

  “Oh,” I whispered. “How often does it go unpunished?”

  “Well,” he said, looking at the back of his right hand while rubbing his fingers across it. “Mine got away with it at the time, but not so much in the end.”

  “Okay, so there must be—”

  “I only know of a handful, Ruby. And those were by far the exception,” he said, flipping his show back on. “Whoever Turned him is going down. Your boy, Sean, will see to that. It's one of his favorite things to do.”

  8

  The situation quickly escalated from bad to worse—guilt to horror. I not only inadvertently infected Matty, but I'd done so at the risk of my own death. Scarlet was less than pleased. After seeking refuge in my room, she let me know exactly how unenthused she was.

  You know I'll be forced to kill him if push comes to shove, thanks to your incompetence.

  “Yes, thank you...I'm well aware of your very strict policy on staying alive, but I'm hoping it doesn't have to come to that,” I said, trying to think on my feet. “Maybe Sean won't find out.”

  You don't think that he will suspect you in the least, when your friend shows up furry on the next full moon? Ruby, that one has
beauty and brains. There's no way you can talk your way out of this one, no matter how wrapped around your finger he may be. You've fucked us in the ass this time.

  She had a point. Sean had made it known on numerous occasions that he'd off me if necessary, and I was pretty sure that infecting a human would fall into that “necessary” category.

  “So do you have anything helpful to add, or do you just want to bring me down further with your Negative Nancy routine?” I spat while picking up mounds of clothing off of the floor.

  Yes, I do. It's simple, really...I'm not surprised you didn't think of it, though. We're going to go to him on the full moon.

  “And do what? Run interference? I'm pretty sure we can't intercept his Change,” I said, fuming. “Besides, Cooper said to stay away from him, not go and hold his hand while he morphs.”

  We're going to go so we can make sure he Changes. I doubt Cooper is wrong, but we should probably make sure before this whole thing gets blown out of proportion.

  “Well, can't you tell?” I asked, thinking she was every bit the werewolf Cooper was.

  No. Not unless you let me out.

  “Not gonna happen around him again,” I said, shutting down the idea. “So if he does Change?”

  We kill him. Quick and easy. We'll be home before midnight, and Sean will never have to know.

  “That's your big solution? Kill Matty?” I said incredulously. “I'm pretty sure that action comes with a death sentence too.”

  It does, if we just randomly kill him. But if it's self-defense, it wouldn't be. You've killed before, as have I, and yet here we stand, still above ground.

  “So you'd make me lie to cover it up?”

  In a heartbeat.

  “This is crazy...it'll never work,” I said, praying she'd see reason. “You're talking about Matty. You like Matty. You saved him that night!”

  He seems fine and all, Ruby, but I'm not putting my head on the chopping block for him, that much I know.

  “Fuck,” I whispered. “This is the shadiest plan ever. It's not going to end well either way.”

  It will, if you can manage to get your shit together and pull it off. You can't let on to Sean that anything is up. I'll take care of the rest.

  “Really? How are you going to pull that off?”

  I'll be ready when the time comes...don't worry about that. Just hold it together. Cooper already knows something is up. You don't want Sean figuring it out.

  “Fine,” I snarled, “I got it. I'll be as normal as can be.”

  That’s exactly what I’m afraid of, Ruby. Don’t be normal. Be better than that.

  * * *

  I went to bed early, hoping that a good night's sleep would find me and help wipe away the telltale signs of stress that were accumulating on my face. I lay on my side looking out the window at the surrounding building tops and façades. I found Sean's darkened windows in the distance. How was I going to pull this off? He knew better than Cooper when I was lying and was ever-suspicious. For the first time, I hoped the Rev was up to no good, consequences be damned. I needed a diversion of epic proportions, and he was my best bet to deliver. I called Peyta to make sure she and Ronnie were well guarded. If the Rev wanted to play, he was going to have to pick another victim.

  I loathed myself for wishing a death of that nature on anyone, and even more so because I still wanted it to happen. My moral fiber was unraveling quickly, and I wondered how long my humanity could withstand the unending trial of values my life had become. With every choice I made, I felt it slipping away.

  And further down the rabbit hole I fell.

  9

  Sleep came. The Rev did not. I was disgusted by the sense of disappointment I felt for both, knowing I should have been grateful.

  With a grand sigh, I dragged myself off the bed, mentally exhausted even though I was well rested. My game plan had been pissed on and I had no backup. Cooper was gone, probably off studying at the local library. It was Sunday, so I didn't have to open the store, but I couldn't stand the silence in the apartment; the stillness was making me mental. I had to get out.

  After throwing on some clothes, I brushed my teeth, pulled my hair back in a messy bun, and grabbed something to eat on my way out the door. I hadn't been at the shop much all week, and I wanted to see how Peyta was faring with all the added responsibility.

  I peeked through the window before attempting to unlock the door. It turned out I didn't need to. Much to my surprise, I spotted Peyta and Jay inside, laughing hysterically at the front counter. Tears streamed down her face as she clutched her stomach, crunched forward over herself. I remembered what it felt like to laugh like that. I hadn't done it in a long time.

  Not wanting to interrupt, I decided to head down to the bakery first, to pick up some treats to say thanks for her dedication to both me and the store. She had a wicked sweet tooth, and I had learned that Jay loved anything savory. I knew just what to get.

  I walked down the street, smiling to myself. Peyta and Jay were becoming quite attached during the time they spent together, and I couldn't have been more pleased. They'd make a great couple.

  Once I arrived at the patisserie, I ordered a chocolate éclair for Peyta and an entire spinach quiche for Jay. The PC boys ate nearly as much as Cooper did. After ordering an extra-tall latte for me and paying for all the goodies, I made my way to the door, hands full. I eyed the door curiously, trying to figure out how to grab the door knob without dropping anything. Looking dubious with a paper bag dangling from my mouth and my coffee balanced atop the quiche, someone came to my rescue.

  “Let me get that for you, miss,” a man called out from behind me.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled, my mouth still closed around the white bag it held.

  An elderly hand reached around me to the door, opening it easily. I turned to thank him again, pulling the bag from my teeth, but the words never came. I froze when I saw him.

  “Ruby,” he said, smiling, “it's nice to see you again. I hope I didn't frighten you yesterday.”

  Gavin, the old man from the dock, studied me as I did him, hovering in the doorway of the bakery.

  “No,” I replied, trying to breathe normally. “It had just been a really long night. You were probably right to shoo me away though. It likely isn't safe for a girl to be out at night alone anywhere these days. Not with what's been going on around town.”

  “Not at all,” he said, nodding slowly. “You need to stay away. T'isn't safe. Not for you.”

  His eyes were mesmerizing—I couldn’t help but stare. They looked sharp and fierce, too young for the rest of his healthy but aged body. There was a twinkle to them I hadn't seen the other night when light was sparse, and it was bewitching to say the least. Something about him just didn't add up.

  Not wanting to stick around and find out exactly what that was, I tried my best to duck out of his enigmatic ramblings as politely as possible. He may have meant well, but he totally creeped me out, and I was itching to bail.

  “I will,” I said, backing out of the door. “You won't have to worry about that, Gavin.”

  “For your sake, dear, I hope I don't.”

  I hurried back to the store, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Nothing about his behavior came off as malicious in any way, but there was something to his energy—something familiar. He was warning me, but why? What did he know that he wasn't saying? Had he seen the murder that night and not reported it? It would have made sense, but there was something so personal about his message, like he meant it for me and me only. I started getting a headache from thinking on an empty stomach, so I let it go and planned to bring it up with Cooper when I saw him.

  The bells jingled when I pushed the door open, startling Jay and Peyta both. It was a good thing I wasn't the Rev, being that neither seemed at all clued in to their surroundings and hadn't even bothered to lock the door. Not that it would have done much to deter him. They smiled when they saw me, though both looked somewhat bashful, moving away from
each other enough to look more like acquaintances than friends.

  “What are you two doing here today?” I asked, making my way into the showroom.

  “We couldn't deal with Mom anymore,” Peyta replied with a sigh. “We needed to go somewhere.”

  “Interesting choice of places to go.”

  “I didn't think she would look here.” Peyta's cheeks blushed slightly as if her admission of wanting privacy told me more than it should have.

  I decided to leave it be.

  “I brought goodies,” I said, placing the grub down on the counter. “It's a ‘thank you for covering for me lately.’ I really appreciate it, P.”

  “Thanks,” she said, rifling the éclair out of the bag, “but I'd love a raise more.” She shot me a smile with her eyes as she took a monstrous bite of her pastry. Jay laughed, ripping a chunk off of his quiche before tossing it into his mouth.

  “Have either of you heard of utensils? They're all the rage these days,” I said, feigning disgust with their lack of table manners. I was going to go on an entire rant about it, but was cut short by the buzzing of my cell phone. I dug it out and flipped it over to see who it was.

  Sean. I hadn't responded to his last text, which had really been an answer in and of itself. Out of sheer stubbornness or indignation, he'd upgraded to actually calling, so I knew I couldn't blow him off; he'd call until I answered.

  “Yeah,” I grunted, the phone tucked against my shoulder as I walked to the back work area with my coffee. I didn't want to talk in front of the other two.

  “So now we're talking?” he asked, voice playful.

  “Did I have a choice?” I asked, contempt in my voice. I wasn't sure I was up for another interaction filled with a montage of emotions and mood swings.

  “You always have a choice, Ruby,” he said, playfulness gone. “That's never changed.”

  “Whatever,” I said, hoping to move things along. “You in a better mood today?”