by Anne Ireland
* * * *
Nothing was said of this to the ladies, of course, and they all expressed a wish to meet again that evening. Hester noticed that some of the sparkle left Lucinda’s eyes after Josh’s departure, though she smiled and chattered to the friends they encountered at the Pump Room. Feeling an unspoken sympathy for her, Hester admitted to herself that she also experienced a loss of pleasure when the gentlemen had departed.
She told herself that it was foolish to allow her happiness to reside in one particular person, but though she tried to be sensible, she could not change her feelings. She had become attached to Captain Crawford despite her determination not to give her heart. Since it had already happened, there was no point in denying it, but she must take the greatest care not to let him guess the truth.
Hester must continue to behave as if they were merely friends for the remainder of their stay in Bath.
When they met again that evening, she greeted him with her usual smile, but since he was promised to Lady Blackwater as her partner at Whisk, she accepted Henry Blackwater as her own partner.
“We do well together, Miss Weston,” Henry said when they were successful for a third hand. “I believe you bring me good fortune.”
“You are very good to say so,” Hester said and laughed. He was putting on one of his droll faces, and she knew exactly what was amusing him for a gentleman with a rather odd taste in waistcoats had just entered the room. “No, no, sir! You must not make me laugh or I shall forget what card I have laid.”
* * * *
At supper, Hester joined her friends, but Henry accompanied her, mixing easily with the others and teasing both Lucinda and Geraldine. However, his manner towards her was most particular and was remarked about by more than one of the company. Indeed, Lady Blackwater herself had become aware that her nephew was paying attention to Hester, and she made a point of seeking Charlotte out that evening.
“What kind of family are they?” she asked pointedly. “Has the Weston gel any prospects?”
“Not from her family,” Charlotte replied honestly. “However, I think I shall settle fifteen thousand on her when she marries.”
“Fifteen thousand?” Lady Blackwater nodded. The Countess of Danbury was known to be generous and could afford to be. Her maternal grandfather had been a wealthy man and had left her a huge fortune in trust, and she had married well twice. “That is very satisfactory—but what of the bloodline? I trust they are gentlefolk?”
“Country gentry,” Charlotte said hiding her smile at this grilling. “Nothing to distinguish them as a family, but Araminta Weston was a Sefton. Her father was the third son of the earl.”
“Ah . . .” Lady Blackwater smiled with satisfaction. “Very well. I am glad we have had this little talk. No more needs to be said for the moment, but I have no objection to the gel.”
“Hester is a good girl,” Charlotte replied. “I love her dearly.”
“Then we must await events, must we not, my dear countess?”
The two ladies looked at each other in mutual agreement. Neither lady doubted that Henry Blackwater would make Hester an offer, and naturally she would accept, for it was an excellent match.
* * * *
Hester was sublimely unaware of all these people making plans for her future. She went home happily at the end of the evening, content with having won a little pin money and having enjoyed herself. Undressing, she sat before her mirror and dreamed of the life that might have been hers had she never met the Earl of Mortimer’s grandson.
Hester had just finished dressing in a pretty rose-pink walking gown the next morning when Charlotte looked in at her door.
“May I come in, dearest?”
“Yes, of course.” Hester turned to greet her with a smile. She could have no idea that the past weeks had transformed her, banishing the worn-down look that had crept over her these past several years. Her eyes were shining, her cheeks rose-tinted, and her hair glossy as it curled about her face before being confined in a sleek twist at the back.
“We have a visitor, Hester.”
Charlotte looked so pleased with herself that Hester misunderstood.
“Has Robert come down from London to join us?”
“No, it is not your brother. It is Mr. Blackwater, and he has asked my permission to speak to you on a certain matter.”
Hester’s heart caught with fright. She had been hoping this would not happen, because she believed that Mr. Blackwater would be offended when she refused him.
“I hope you told him that he could not, cousin?”
“Now why should I do that?” Charlotte frowned and as she saw Hester’s expression. “What happened in the past is over, dearest. You must put it behind you and look to the future.”
“Papa said that no decent man would wish to wed me once he knew the truth. He forbade me to think of marriage, and I am sure that Mama would agree with him.”
“Araminta is no longer your guardian. Robert is the head of the family now, and I am certain he could be persuaded to give you his blessing. You must know that he cares for you too much to deny you happiness?”
“Yes, perhaps Robert might allow it,” Hester agreed, looking thoughtful. “But do you think that Mr. Blackwater would wish to marry me if he knew that I had born a child out of wedlock?”
“There is surely no necessity to tell him,” Charlotte said, an expression of alarm in her eyes. “Why should one little mistake be allowed to ruin your whole life, Hester? A modicum of subterfuge should suffice to keep your secret, my dear.”
“But you cannot think that I would lie to him?” Hester was shocked by what her cousin seemed to imply. “I would never marry without confessing the truth to my intended husband. It would be unkind in me to do otherwise.”
“You do not need to lie. A few tears on your wedding night would convince him of your innocence.”
“No, Charlotte. I am not sunk so low that I would deceive my husband. If I am ever to marry—and I doubt that I shall—it will be to a man who knows the truth and still wants me.”
“You risk remaining a spinster for life.”
“Yes, I think that may well be the case,” Hester replied, blinking back the painful tears. Her throat felt tight, but she managed to speak calmly, hiding her inner distress. “But even were I free to marry, I could not accept Mr. Blackwater’s proposal.”
“You do not wish to marry him? I thought you liked him?”
“I enjoy his company and his friendship, but I do not wish for him as a husband.”
“Ah, that is a very different matter,” Charlotte said, her eyes narrowing in thought. “But perhaps there is another gentleman you prefer?”
“No, of course not,” Hester denied but the blush in her cheeks betrayed her. “Even if there were, I cannot—must not—think of marriage.”
“That is nonsense, Hester. There is not the least need for you to remain unwed.” Charlotte hesitated. “What would you have me say to Mr. Blackwater?”
“You need say nothing. I shall see him, for I owe him that courtesy. He shall hear my refusal from my own lips.”
“You do not need to tell him your history, dearest.”
“No, I shall say nothing of that. I would confess my shame only to a man I trusted enough to hear me without censure even if he could not accept it.”
“Very well. Go down to Mr. Blackwater now, Hester—but tread carefully. You do not wish to hurt his feelings.”
“I shall try not to,” Hester replied. It was the last thing she wanted to do for she sincerely liked the gentleman and would keep his friendship if she could.
She glanced at herself in the dressing mirror once more before going out into the hall. Her heart beat rapidly, and she felt terrible for she was distressed at the prospect of hurting the man who had honored her by asking for her hand in marriage.
He was standing gazing out of the window when she entered the small parlor but turned almost at once, his face lighting with pleasure as he saw her.
“Miss Weston, may I say how delightful you look and how gratified I am that you came down. I was not sure that you would.”
“We are friends, sir.” Hester raised her head, unaware that she looked regal as she addressed him. “Charlotte told me that you had something particular to say to me. I came to beg you not to speak. I fear it might cause us both some distress.”
The light died from his face. “You are not prepared to accept an offer of marriage from me?”
“I like you very well as a friend, sir,” she replied with quiet dignity. “However, I do not wish to marry at this time.”
“I have spoken too soon,” he said looking rueful. “My besetting sin is impatience, Miss Weston. I should have waited until we knew each other better.”
Hester’s expression was serious as she looked directly at him. “I believe it would make no difference, sir. I am unlikely to marry. My mother is . . . an invalid, and she needs me with her. For the moment, she has a companion, but I must return to her soon.” It was the closest to the truth that she dare confess to him. “Forgive me if something in my manner led you to believe that my answer would be otherwise.
“You have been everything you ought,” Henry swallowed his disappointment as best he could. “Perhaps a companion may be found for your mother? If she could be brought to accept your marriage, I am sure something could be arranged.”
“No, I do not think so.” Hester half lifted her hand in apology. “I am truly sorry I cannot answer you differently. I hope you will not dislike me too much because of it, sir?”
“I could never dislike you,” Henry said. “Forgive me for embarrassing you, Miss Weston.”
“Oh no . . .” She felt close to tears. “You did me too much honor, sir. The fault is mine.” She bowed her head as he left, feeling wretched.
She waited until he had gone and then turned and ran from the room. She knew that she had lost a friend and it made her wish that she had never come to Bath.
* * * *
As Hester sought the sanctuary of her bedchamber to weep useless tears, Paul stood across the road and watched Henry Blackwater leaving. For a moment, he thought he was too late, but the other man’s manner was one of dejection. He did not look like a man who had had his offer of marriage accepted.
“Blackwater!” Paul called to him. “Hold a moment, if you please. I would have words with you.”
A startled look came to the other’s face, and for a moment, he seemed as if he would refuse, but then stood and waited for Paul to come up to him. His eyes were narrowed, his expression slightly wary and not exactly friendly.
“Crawford?” Blackwater frowned. “What may I do for you?”
“I understand you have a stallion for sale. May I take a look at the horse?”
A flicker of something showed in Blackwater’s eyes. Was it relief or something more? Paul could not be certain, but he sensed an odd reserve in the other man, though he answered him fair enough.
“Yes, of course. The horse has a good bloodline, but I have recently bought another and thought I might sell.” He pulled a wry face, a gleam of some secret emotion in his eyes. “We could go and look at the beast now if you like? I have nothing better to do.”
“You seem at odds with yourself, Blackwater?”
Blackwater hesitated. “The devil is in it! I had hopes of being settled but it was not to be. The lady has no thought of marriage,” he confessed, taking on a confiding air.
“I am sorry for your disappointment,” Paul said, abandoning his intention of speaking to Miss Weston for the moment. His rival had been turned down, and he rather thought he might fare the same fate if he spoke too soon. Hester would need to know him better if he were to stand a chance of winning her. “Let us go and see the horse, Blackwater. You may find that your luck has changed.”
“I must warn you, Crawford. The brute has a devilish temper.”
Paul would normally have given a horse of that nature a wide berth, but the purchase of a bad-tempered horse was a small price to pay for the information Blackwater had just given him. And there was something in the other’s manner that he found false, but he ignored his instincts for it would serve his purpose to go along with Blackwater’s show of friendship for the moment.
He smiled and clapped Blackwater on the shoulder. “I enjoy a challenge,” he said. “As long as the horse is sound, I shall buy it from you.”
It was as he had suspected from the beginning, Paul thought as he accompanied Blackwater to the stables, which were some distance away. Unlike most young ladies of quality, Hester had not come to Bath to catch a husband. Indeed, it seemed that she was set against it. Now why was that?
He was convinced that there was some mystery in her past. She guarded her secret carefully, and time and patience would be needed to win her trust sufficiently to break down her inner reserve.
Paul felt quite cheerful about things. He was a patient man. Now that he knew he was not about to lose her to a rival, he was prepared to wait for as long as it took.
* * * *
Alone in her room, Hester washed the tearstains from her face. She did not regret turning down Mr Blackwater’s proposal, though she had been distressed by his evident disappointment. However, it had brought home to her the hopelessness of her situation. Even had the man she cared for above all others had asked her to marry him, she would have had to refuse. Unless . . . but it would be so hard to reveal her sin. She knew that she would see admiration turn to disgust in his eyes.
“You will never marry, girl!” Her father’s angry words rang in her ears. “No decent man would have you. You are disgusting, a thing of abomination in the eyes of decent people. I can hardly bear to look at you myself.”
The sting of his words had never left her. She might perhaps have eased her situation if she had cried rape, but though Richard Mortimer had refused to stop when she begged him, she knew that she had gone to his arms willingly enough. That knowledge added to her feeling of shame for she must be wicked to have allowed his passionate kisses, which to her mind meant that she was as culpable as he. Had she not allowed the intimacy, the rest might never have happened. She had forgotten her shame for a little while during her stay in Bath but soon the visit would end and then she would return to her home.
Hester tried to be brave as she faced the bleak future that awaited her, for she knew that her mother would never forgive her. Indeed, Araminta Weston blamed her daughter for the fact that she was a widow, claiming that her daughter had caused her father’s heartbreak and was responsible for his death. But she must not dwell on the future! And the past could only make her heart ache. She still had a little time of pleasure left, and she must make the most of it while she could.
* * * *
It was on the evening of Lady Jersey’s ball that Hester was invited to stay with Geraldine at her country home.
“I asked Mama if you and Countess Danbury could come for a visit,” Geraldine told her. “Thomas has spoken to her, and she says she will talk to Papa for us. Although we shall not marry until next year, I think it likely that I may be engaged on my birthday, which is in two weeks time. I should like you to be at my dance, Hester.”
“I am honored that you have asked,” Hester said. “But I am not sure what Charlotte will say.”
Charlotte had not mentioned the length of their stay in Bath, and Hester had expected to be leaving in a week or two. However, her cousin accepted the invitation with pleasure.
“It will be nice for you to stay with friends, Hester. There is much more freedom in the country, and I am in no hurry to return home. Danbury will do well without me for a while longer. Say yes to Geraldine, dearest.”
Geraldine was delighted. She kissed Hester’s cheek, telling her how happy she was, and turned to Paul in elation as he came up to them.
“Hester has agreed to come and stay, Paul. Is that not wonderful?”
“Yes, cousin,” he said smiling easily. “We shall all have more time to enjoy each other’s com
pany at March Mallows.”
Geraldine’s eyes were brilliant as she hugged his arm, her excitement almost bursting out of her. “I am so happy. Mama told me that you persuaded her to agree to my engagement.”
“Your mama will not agree to the wedding just yet, but an engagement seemed a good idea since you are fond of Thomas.” Paul’s mouth quivered with amusement. “Think of all the expense it will save your Papa!”
“Oh you!” Geraldine laughed. You know Papa never cares for what he spends on me.” She smiled as Lucinda and Josh came to join them. “I am so happy.”
Her happiness radiated out of her like a beacon of light as Mr Jones left his sister’s party and came to join them. Geraldine went off to dance with him, leaving the others to choose their partners.
“Will you dance, Miss Weston?”
Hester consulted her card, but she already knew that this dance was free. She had left three spaces in the hope that he would ask her. Giving him her hand, she managed to retain her cool dignity even though her heart was beating madly.
“I am pleased that you could spare the time to stay with Geraldine. Lucinda and Josh have to return home to prepare for their own wedding, though they will attend her dance. And she, of course, will be a bridesmaid at Lucinda’s wedding.”
“It will be a pleasure for me,” Hester said sincerely. “You have no idea how dull my life is at home, sir.” She blushed slightly, for she had said more than she ought.
“I should have thought all the local gentlemen would beat a path to your door, Miss Weston?” His eyes twinkled with amusement.
“Oh no,” she said. “Pray do not tease me, sir. I am a confirmed spinster. There is no reason for any gentleman to visit us other than Mama’s friends, who are quite elderly—though my brother may occasionally bring a friend with him to stay in future I dare say. He did not do so in the past for he thought our father too strict, but now . . .”
