No Broken Bond

by Angel Payne

  Here went nothing.

  “I want to sleep in our bed tonight.” I squared my shoulders against the back of the couch as I announced it, completely meeting their upturned gapes. “Yes, with both of you,” I addressed to the question on both faces. “I’m tired of waking up alone every morning.”

  My timing for the comment was odd, to them at least, but my intention had been to catch them off-guard. I’d purposely waited until Tolly started fast-forwarding through a commercial break on the recorded series she’d made us watch. Somewhere between ‘Got Milk’ and the Aflac goose, I blurted it out.

  “Ohhhh kaaaaay.” She darted her eyes to Drake, taking a fortifying gulp of air. “But…ummm…”

  “But what?” My tone was full of a lot of things, but anger and hesitation weren’t any of them. I was calm. Even solemn. And determined.

  “Well, are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, is there anything you need from your room in the night? Marcus has everything set up so nicely…”

  “The only thing I need is you.” I had to breathe in as desperation broke through my composure. Talia’s features, softening as I spoke, didn’t help. “Yeah, both of you. I’m-I’m so fucked-up, you guys. I can’t get my head on straight, and I think it’s because there’s something missing. My body isn’t fully cooperating because my fucking head isn’t. And a huge part of my head…is us.”

  Drake sat up straighter. “I hear what you’re saying, man.”

  “Good,” I rebutted then filled in his pause. “But…?”

  “But I’m worried about you.” Savior Man was trying, in his surprisingly awkward way, to remind me of my shortcomings. His gaze beseeched mine. “Are you ready for all that?”

  “There’s no harm in just sleeping together.” I was ready with the argument, having already scripted out their reactions in my mind. So far, they’d both followed the play to the letter. “Just lying in our bed, side by side by side, closing our eyes like we used to do. When we wake up, our girl is the first thing we see. How can you deny me that?”

  “I’m not denying you anything. I just think we should talk to Mac first.”

  “You want me to talk to my neurosurgeon about the bed I sleep in?” Yep. Right on the scenario. Drake would try to approach this from every angle. An X-ray of his head would show a million gears turning right now, but in the end, there was no viable argument to us ‘just sleeping together’.

  Of course, my motives weren’t entirely innocent—and Drake detected that, too. He saw how I’d already banked on them being unable to resist each other, once we were all horizontal. Why assume otherwise? Since the beginning, whenever we climbed into bed together, instincts just took over. Even innocuous afternoon ‘catnaps’ hadn’t been immune. It was just the energy of us…

  I had to hope against hope it would happen this time, too.

  Talia clicked the TV off and set the remote on the end table. She looked at me then Drake, her dark eyes smoldering. “I would love nothing more than to sleep between my two loves. I’ve missed the nearness of you both, and I think it’s a great step forward.” She punctuated that with a raised finger. “But we’re sleeping only. Nothing more. Got it?”

  “Got it.” I smiled.

  Drake didn’t.

  “Why don’t you go get ready for bed then, baby?” He stoked the glower, aimed strictly at me, while issuing it. “We’ll be in right after I lock up.”

  “Perfect.” She practically floated past us, happily proceeding down the hall toward our room.

  Our room.

  It would be that way again tonight. Thank fuck.

  As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Drake bolted to his feet.

  “Dude.”

  “Don’t.” I had that at the ready, too. The guy was still hitting every cue I’d written. “Not now. There’s no harm in sleeping in the same bed. You were just listening to Tolly, weren’t you? She’s been missing us, too.”

  He clapped his hands slowly. “Congratulations, Sherlock. What magnificent deduction.”

  I kept my posture rigid. This time, the savior didn’t get to prevail. “Why are you fighting this?”

  “Because I’m calling you on your shit, asshole. You and I both know damn well what happens when we get into bed with that woman. It’s been the very same since Vegas and it’ll be no different tonight.” He wheeled around, openly exposing his clenched fists—and the bulge beneath his crotch. “You’d better be damn sure about this, on both levels.”

  “‘Both levels’?” I almost pulled a Tolly and air quoted at him. “What? You feel more comfortably about this if we put it in gamer boy speak?”

  “Coy isn’t attractive on you, Fletch.” His nostrils flared on a brutal exhalation. “One, you’d better be fucking sure you can physically handle this shit. And two, you’d better have a damn good backup plan for when this hare-brained one falls apart.” He spun back toward the kitchen, hands clamping across the back of his head. “You sure about this, Fletch? Are you willing to disappoint not only her, but yourself?”

  Fury vise-gripped my chest. I didn’t know if I loved him or hated him right now. Probably both. Maybe neither. “Fuck me, Newland.” A chuff burst out. “When did you become such a pansy? Seriously. How is sleeping in my own bed—my real bed—going to bring on the apocalypse?”

  He dropped his arms. “So, this is how we’re playing it? Denial until the end?” He flung one of those arms, as if tossing breadcrumbs for pigeons. “Fine. Okay, dick. But I’m going to be the other guy in that bed, and I won’t be able to turn her away. Just getting that out there now. I know what my Achilles’ heel is, and it’s that woman and her pussy. You can’t seriously tell me you believe this’ll just be strictly sleeping.”

  With that, he stormed around the condo, making sure doors were locked and lights were turned out. During that part of his hissy, I pulled myself up to stand, leaning on the sofa arm for balance. I’d finally graduated to an old-lady walker the day before, but the contraption was just beyond my reach. I hated that thing with a passion, especially when realizing I’d have to let go of the furniture to get to it.

  One step.

  Twelve inches.

  I got this.

  I tried using momentum, pushing off the sofa and heaving all my weight toward the walker. Drake stood by, watching but not offering to help, knowing I needed to do it for myself—

  Or just waiting to see me fall on my face.

  Fucking Savior Boy. I’ll show you.

  I stepped out with my left foot, shifting my weight over the center of my body. The action landed me perfectly on the walker’s hand grips. I huffed with relief as Drake lowered a reassuring hand on my back.

  “That was awesome, dude. You really just did that.”

  “Yep. One whole step.” I laughed wryly. “I’m on fire.”

  “Hey.” His voice was gentle but forceful, demanding I look up and meet his stare—a contact I’d been avoiding for weeks. “I know this sucks, Fletch. I also get that I have no real idea what it’s like for you right now, but I have had some experience with uphill battles and fighting the odds.”

  I clenched my jaw. Gripped the walker tighter. “Which is supposed to mean…what?”

  “That you need to fucking stop this self-destructive shit,” he gritted. “It’s killing me to watch and it’s killing her, too.” He thumbed over his shoulder toward the bedroom. “We’re on your side, Fletch. We want you to recover and be you again. We aren’t the enemy here.”

  I tilted my head to the side a fraction, joining my bitten tongue to the self-control effort. No way could I spew what was in the forefront of my mind—that of all the supportive shit he’d just rambled, only one rang through my brain like a taunting refrain.

  He’d said ‘we’—and meant only him and Talia.

  We. You.

  Them against me.

  “Thank you, man. That means a lot.”

  Well, listen to that. I was getting to be a fantastic liar, too. Chip off the Ford Fa
mily block, after all.

  Drake narrowed his eyes. He scrutinized my face before taking in all my body language. Very little got past this guy, and most of the time I loved him for it. Relied on him for it. But now? I wanted to knee him in the balls and stroll off into the sunset.

  Me and my walker.

  “Let’s go to bed.” He fell in step behind me as I shuffled down the hall. I wouldn’t even have to bother changing into pajamas. Flannel lounge pants and old concert tees had become my daily uniform. I did take a few minutes to use the restroom and brush my teeth, all accomplished with sloppy results, but heaven save their skins, Drake and Tolly stayed out of my way. There wasn’t a single offer of help.

  By the time I made it to the bed, a fine sheen of sweat moistened my brow.

  “I’m just going to pull the covers back.” Tolly’s chatter was strangely comforting now. “How’s that? You do the rest yourself. I’m just moving this heavy comforter. Take your time.”

  She bustled around, adjusting the bedding, and I was truly grateful. No way could I have handled the cover and my walker at the same time. My eggshell ego appreciated her nervous efficiency.

  “Sit on the side of the bed and I’ll help you get settled.” She moved my walker out of the way, and I complied with her request. When she came back and stood in front of me, I looked up into her stunning, freshly washed face. This was my favorite way of seeing her. No makeup, so clean and dewy and ready for bed. Perfect. Fucking perfect. I’d needed this so badly.

  With some effort I reached for her, finally managing to wrap both arms around her waist. Although it took focused force, I tugged her between my legs. My head rested on her stomach, and for a moment, I simply listened to her breath moving in and out.

  Fuck. Yes.

  This.

  The curves of her small form in my arms. The magic of her presence, wrapped up with mine. The feeling that I could protect her from the world, or give her the world if that was what she wanted.

  When she pulled back, I didn’t want to let go.

  I fought to hang on but my arm was still so damn weak. She was able to easily disengage, though didn’t go far. She bent over, dipping her head in, touching her soft lips to my forehead.

  A breath in. A breath out.

  Magic.

  Her mouth sought my eyelids, my nose, both sides of my jaw—and at last my lips. I tilted my chin up, deepening the kiss…reveling in every incredible sensation of it. So long. Too long, since I’d drowned in her taste. I groaned as our tongues twirled with one another. For the first time in what felt like forever, my heartbeat quickened.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” She gazed deeply at me…looking into my soul. Though she lifted a serene smile, her coffee-colored eyes were still heavily hooded from our passion. “Let’s get under the covers and drift off to sleep. The three of us. The way we’re supposed to be.”

  She waited patiently while I pulled my legs into bed and settled against the pillows. With the same happy smile, she dragged the covers up to my waist. Her action made me smile. I didn’t like covers all the way to my neck like she did, one of the thousands of little things she knew about me.

  All the things she’d once known before I could ever speak them aloud.

  My smile vanished.

  I hated the chasm where our mental connection had once been—and was terrified it might not ever return. Had the accident killed it? Was that the price karma demanded in exchange for my life? Wasn’t like I could go to Mac with those queries. How do you ask a doctor questions like that? I had to settle for hoping it’d come back on its own.

  Waiting.

  Hoping.

  Recovering.

  The story of my damn life now.

  Talia crossed around the foot of the bed and climbed in from the other side. Drake turned out the light and sandwiched her between us on the huge mattress. Because it wasn’t as easy for me to move as it was for them, we were all piled onto the left, nearest to my side. I began freaking about the logistics—like a moron, I hadn’t scripted out this detail—but all was solved the moment Talia nestled her beautiful face against my chest. When I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer still, she sighed with contentment.

  I almost flung a gloating glance Drake’s way. See, you bastard? We could sleep together without complicating things with sex. Drake just hadn’t given us the credit we deserved.

  When I looked past her, the gloat dissipated.

  Drake was already burying his face into her long locks, breathing in deeply, his eyes closed in rapture. The guy looked like he was inhaling her essence into his very soul.

  It only meant he liked the way she smelled.

  I did, too.

  I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, breathing the same luscious scent. The jasmine in her hair. Her wildflower-scented body lotion.

  Damn.

  Damn, she smelled good.

  We needed to connect in the worst way. More than this. So much more…

  I felt the longing gather in the marrow of my bones. Why wasn’t the rest of my body on board with the program? As Tolly burrowed tighter against me, my arousal spiraled. Her skin was smooth and flushed under my fingertips. Her breaths hitched then quickened, turning into needy pants as I traced circles on the shell of her ear.

  Things moved with surreal surety. We became dancers, flowing with instinct and arousal and awakening. Reconnecting to each other. Rediscovering ourselves…

  Drake glided his hand up Talia’s hip as he slid to his side and pressed up behind her. Talia sighed. Drake growled. I seconded the sound at once. God damn…yes.

  She was so fucking sexy. Her little silk booty shorts and matching tank top showed off all the right things. The gorgeous V of her cleavage. Her heart-shaped ass. The silk set wasn’t as hot as the lace ones in the same style, but I wasn’t sure how much more torture I could endure before admitting to her what was physically happening to me.

  Fuck.

  The more correct phrase?

  What was not happening to me.

  What the hell? All the pieces were in place, but the last one wouldn’t click in. Was it the medication I was taking for the muscle spasms? The antibiotics for the infection risk from the surgery? The pain killers that took the edge off my daily aches? They all had side effects I’d never bothered to research, but now it was a clear and present problem. I needed to face this shit. It had to be one of the medications. It wasn’t a permanent result of the brain injury. I refused to accept that.

  Until Mac’s words echoed at me.

  ‘But if you stay the course, there is no medical reason to prevent you from returning to a full, natural life—in every aspect.’

  Every aspect. Okay, I needed to refocus.

  I also needed to ask for their help.

  If Drake and Talia gave me some incentive…

  Hell, they were the hottest thing I could think of to watch. Maybe they’d be my perfect kickstart…

  With a determined grunt, I pushed Talia to her back. As she twisted backward, her legs untangled from mine. She was now settled between us. Drake stared at her flushed skin and aroused gaze then instantly slid his eyes shut. Dude was likely praying for the strength to honor his vow against fucking her—and probably begged the Almighty to hold him back from clocking me at the same time. I’d just laid her out like a feast for him to devour. A few more taunts and he would take the bait. I knew every single thing that made this guy tick—and was now determined to form an irresistible trail of breadcrumbs with them.

  Without speaking, I moved my hand under Talia’s tank. Swiftly, I dragged the fabric up and over her nipple, jutting inches from my best friend’s mouth. His harsh exhalation brought goosebumps to her mocha flesh. Her areola darkened, puckering as it extended her berry-dark nipple even higher.

  Drake swallowed. He licked his lips as though her breast was the finest candy on the planet. With quivering effort, he managed to tear his gaze up—directly at me. His eyes, nearly black wit
h lust, squinted in fury. His lips, twisted and tense, mouthed just one word at me.

  “Why?”

  He was way-the-fuck turned on—and lethally pissed. His thoughts were practically branded across his prominent forehead. To him, this was betrayal in the worst possible way. I’d come in here knowing he refused to screw Tolly but was offering her to him like a piece of fruit between buddies.

  Forbidden fruit.

  I’d pay to never see that look on his face again. He was clearly suffering. Despite that, I wasn’t sure I cared. Like the selfish, pathetic dick now was, I had to keep going. Had to know if I could ever bring Talia pleasure again, even if it meant using Drake as my tool. It wasn’t fair, especially when I glided my hand over and exposed her other breast, but I was on a mission and wouldn’t be deterred.

  I met his furious stare with undaunted purpose. “Kiss her,” I challenged.

  “No,” he snarled.

  “Drake,” Talia pleaded. In the same urgent manner, she flashed her gaze to me. “Fletcher. Please. Can’t we—?”

  “Kiss. Her.”

  “Why are you doing this?” He bared his gritted teeth just as I did. “Why the fuck are you doing this to me? I’ve given you all I have over the past five weeks. Everything.”

  “And you’re making more of it than you should,” I hissed. “Just kiss her. You want to, don’t you? Look at this.” I reached over, ruthlessly pinching her nipple. Her back arched, bringing her plump offering right to his lips.

  “Ahhhh.” Talia writhed between us. “That…feels…so…”

  Her eyes shut slowly. Drake’s gaze widened. He shifted, beginning to buck his hips. The kid in the candy store was quickly losing his willpower.

  Damn you.

  If his gaze was a physical object, I guessed at a lethal bullet or a poisoned spear.

  I kicked up one side of my mouth. “Kiss her.”

  “Dear God,” Talia begged. “Someone, please kiss me. Lick me. Bite me. Touch me. I don’t care. I don’t care. It’s been so long.” Her freshly painted nails dug into my arm, leaving little marks behind. “Too long. Too long.”

  Her eyes stayed shut, so she didn’t fathom the war going on over her body. With our bond still shattered, she couldn’t feel any of my anguish. My excitement. My frustration.