Karma

by Barbara Huffert

  In spite of the situation, Jesse laughed. “Gods, you’re priceless! That’s a twist I never considered. A serial killer who cannibalizes his victims for the benefit of the needy. I suspected you were hiding a sense of humor in there.”

  Abby began to chuckle with him. It released the tension that had been building since he said he wanted to tell her about his life. When they quieted, she seemed nervous about something new.

  “I promise not to cook you,” Jesse declared, hoping to keep the mood light. “In case you’re wondering, I do know how to cook. Not like you do, I’m sure. I’ve never attempted human stew but I don’t think I’d like it very much. Or do you have a particularly good recipe?”

  “Nope but I imagine it would taste like chicken.” She giggled.

  He groaned. “I guess I asked for that one.”

  Abby was laughing even harder. She tried to stop but couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” she gasped between giggles. “I think I must be a little stressed.” Another wave hit her.

  When she bit his thigh to silence her chuckles, his body reacted. He cursed himself silently. It was not the time to sprout yet another hard-on.

  She must have noticed that he had gone very still. “Jesse,” she started to ask why. As she turned to look at his face, she instantly knew the cause. “Oh,” she said, her eyes focused on his groin. His sweatpants stretched beneath her scrutiny. “Wow,” she whispered.

  “Once again I should probably be embarrassed by my lack of control over this. I swear I’m trying not to react but it seems to have a mind of its own where you’re concerned.”

  “I-I don’t mind. Really I kind of like it when that happens. I can’t believe I do that to you.”

  “Well you do. Whenever you touch me even if it is in a totally non-sexual way. It’s not going to be easy convincing you I’m not a depraved serial killer when I get hard discussing human stew.”

  “I don’t really think you’re a serial killer but if I’m wrong you are definitely the hottest serial killer around.”

  “And just how many other serial killers do you know?”

  “Who knows?” She caressed his leg with the hand that had been hugging his calf. “With my track record, I could be surrounded by them all the time and never know it.”

  “Come on, Ab. You made one mistake. Did any of the guys you dated before Earl ever mistreat you?”

  “No,” Abby admitted as much to herself than him.

  “Then please don’t be so hard on yourself. You don’t deserve to be chastised like this, not even by you. I don’t know how any of this feels to you. I won’t pretend I ever could. But to an outsider, it seems like you’re blaming yourself for someone else choosing to manipulate you. You did not ask Earl to undermine your confidence until he made you question every thought you had. He took advantage of your hopes and dreams. He met a lovely, trusting woman who wanted a decent man to share her life with. He managed to convince you that you’d found all that with him.

  “Then his true nature emerged and he planted all those doubts in your head. He must have slowly chipped away at your self-esteem until he replaced it with what he wanted you to think. He twisted things around and made them into what he wanted you to see. He isolated you from people who might have made you question his motives. I can’t begin to understand your mother. She must have issues of her own that are just as corrupt as his are. Even though part of you always knew the things he told you were lies, it isn’t difficult to see how you’d believe them if he repeated them often enough.

  “He made a big mistake in giving you Trevor. Animals are very perceptive. You already know that from how you described him. Trevor must have been waiting until he sensed you needed that nudge from him to send you on your way. Somehow, he knew you were about to give up and he picked that moment to remind you he loved you. He needed you to save yourself so you could protect him. I wish he were here now. I bet you’d trust his opinion of me.”

  Abby frowned in concentration, obviously considering his words. “I miss him,” she stated.

  “I’m sure he misses you. Want me to ask Alyssa to go get him for you? I could have someone bring him here tomorrow.”

  “I wish. But I know he’s safe where he is. Janice will take good care of him. I better wait until I know if I have a job and a place to stay before I drag him after me. I don’t want him to suffer if I end up homeless.”

  “There is no way I’d let you be homeless,” Jesse declared more strongly than he intended, startling her into retreating from his leg.

  “Thanks but I’m not your responsibility. I have to get back into the habit of taking care of myself. I really can do that.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t. Personally, I think you can do anything you set your mind to. I believe in you even if you don’t right now.”

  “Oh. Thanks.” She got to her feet and shifted nervously in front of him. “I’m a little hungry. Would it be okay if I got something to eat?”

  “You certainly don’t need my permission.” He leaned forward and tipped up her chin. “Abby, I am not Earl. I don’t want to control you. I would stop you if you are about to do something dangerous but other than that, I’m easy to get along with. Of course, if you’re doing something that might affect me too, I’d like to have a say in the matter but that works both ways.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. I wasn’t criticizing you. I was explaining how I see things. You’re welcome to express your opinion at any time too, by the way. Let’s start now. In your opinion, which would be best for you? Getting dressed and going out, calling room service and having them bring us something, or enlisting Frank to forage for us? I’m open to all possibilities but if you decide you want to go out, I’m going to have to insist that you take me with you.”

  “Oh. I hadn’t thought that far.”

  “Then let’s start with the room service menu. If we find something we like, we’ll stay in. If not, we’ll go on to plan B.” She nodded, looking confused that he hadn’t moved. “Good. Now you have to make another decision. You can bring the menu over here for us to read it together. You can read it to me and I’ll try to remember all the choices until you’re finished. Or you can tell me I’m released from this chair, since I promised not to get out of it until you said I could.”

  “You’d really stay there?” She appeared stunned.

  “Sure. I gave my word.”

  “You mean that.”

  “Yes. I really don’t want to screw up with you. If that means sitting in this chair, then I’ll sit in this chair indefinitely. You will allow me to use the bathroom when the time comes? I promise to be as quick as I can.”

  “Now you’re being ridiculous.” Her lip quivered. “Or-or you’re making fun of me.”

  “Neither. If you’ll think back, I sat here to show that you could trust me. You were about to bolt and I would have been forced to follow you. I already promised I’d keep you safe. That promise is much more important than staying in this chair is.” He caught both of her hands. “I would never make fun of you like that. I’ll tease with you about being a cannibalistic serial killer but there’s a big difference. I won’t laugh at your expense. I am not like Earl.”

  “I do know that, Jesse. And I know you won’t hurt me. I shouldn’t have reacted like I did. I’m sorry.”

  “Again, no apology necessary. You’ve had one hell of a time the last twenty-four hours. Frankly, I think you’re amazing. You really are a very strong person. It can’t be easy to be you right now.”

  “Why do you say things like that?”

  “Because they’re true. Because I want to help erase the damage Earl did. Because the sooner you start believing in yourself again, the sooner you’ll be ready to consider a relationship with me. Again, the timing sucks, but I meant what I said about fate and you being my destiny. All I ask is that you don’t forget I’m here.”

  “Does that mean we’re not getting married tomorrow? Too ba
d since I was really starting to like the idea.”

  “Don’t tease. I know you’re not a cruel person.”

  “Who says I’m teasing?”

  Jesse was afraid to breathe again as he searched her face. “I’m speechless,” he finally responded.

  “I’m sorry. It’s okay if you changed your mind. I knew you were just being nice and…”

  “Stop.” He pulled her forward until she was standing between his knees, wrapping his arms around her and resting his cheek on her terrycloth-covered chest. “That is not something I would ever say if I were just being nice. And I won’t ever change my mind about wanting to marry you. But I asked you to consider certain things before and you haven’t said anything one way or the other. I don’t want to frighten you again but I do need to tell you more about me too. As much as I want you to stay with me, I can’t marry you unless we talk about things.” Distracted, he inhaled her scent. “Gods, you smell so good. You feel good too.” He raised his head to look at her. “Please let me talk so you can consider if you still want to be with me. It really is important. I wouldn’t insist if it weren’t.”

  “All right,” she agreed slowly. “If you think it’s that important, then we’ll talk. In a little bit, while we eat. After we order room service.”

  “Thank you. Please go find the menu.”

  Quickly, she did as he asked and returned, balancing on the arm of his chair so they could both read it. After calling in their selections, she once again stood in front of him.

  He was beyond enthralled. In the few hours he’d known her, she had already shown how incredible she was. He couldn’t imagine what she’d be like once she broke free from the hold Earl had on her mind. He would be in serious trouble when she regained her confidence. He was positive that the flash of humor she showed was only the beginning. The thought of Abby, smiling and unguarded, had his blood surging. Adding in the possibility that she might actually become his wife sent his libido into overdrive. The few stolen caresses and kisses were already driving him wild. Now that he permitted himself to think about the way she’d felt, her back nestled against his chest, he knew it was definitely something he wanted to get used to.

  Abby was staring at him with a new gleam in her eyes. “What’s going on in that sweet mind of yours now, outlaw girl?” Jesse asked with a grin.

  “A minute ago you said I felt good.”

  “Yeah.” He sensed danger.

  “It felt better the first time. Without the robe.”

  “Agreed, but you’re heading in a direction we can’t go just now.”

  “I know.” She opened the belt and let the robe fall. “But, since you’re trapped in that chair, we’re going to take a little detour. Until the food gets here.” She dropped to her knees between his thighs. “I need to feel you too. Just for a little while. I’ll behave. Can’t you let me hold on so I can feel your heart beating against mine for a few minutes? Please, Jesse. I haven’t felt like a woman for years. I don’t trust myself enough to believe the way I feel with you is real. I want this to be real. I want to feel all the little tingles racing through me just because our skin is touching. I never felt them before even before Earl. I need to find out if it was a fluke or if it’s going to happen every time we touch.”

  “Damn it, how can I refuse you?” he groaned, opening his arms.

  Abby was in the wrong position by being on the floor. When he pulled her onto his lap, she struggled. “No. I’m too heavy.”

  “Hardly. I’m a pretty sturdy guy, Ab. Relax and hold me. You’re going to miss the point of this if you keep resisting.”

  “You won’t let me squish you?” she asked, settling against him. “Oh my God.” She tightened her arms.

  Jesse fought for control. He had her exactly where he wanted, practically naked, in his arms, on his lap and embracing him because she wanted to. She wasn’t the only one experiencing the tingles she’d described. When she took a deep breath, pressing her bare chest against his, he could feel her arousal in the points her nipples formed.

  “Jesse,” she whispered as her tongue flicked against his neck. She shifted so she rubbed his slight covering of chest hair. Her breathing was becoming rapid. “Please.” She swiped more fully with her tongue.

  “Gods, you have to stop doing that.” He tried to keep her from moving but was afraid he’d put pressure on her bruised ribs. “Please don’t move. I don’t want to hurt you and I might if I try to hold you still.”

  Abby hid her face in his neck and loosened her arms. “I’m sorry,” she uttered.

  “No. I’m the one who’s sorry. It’s not your fault that I want you so much all my common sense flies out the window. You asked for a little harmless reassurance and I’m the one who can’t handle it. When we decide to make love, I’m going to have to jerk off about six times first to keep from embarrassing myself.”

  She started to giggle and leaned slightly away from him so they were face-to-face. “I’d be happy to take care of that for you.”

  “Tease.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “You’d get the wrong impression of my stamina and you wouldn’t stick around long enough for me to find some of the control I misplaced.”

  “I don’t think I want you to be in control. I’d rather have you just as wild as I’m going to be.” Her hand wandered across his chest, stroking lightly. “Why does a guy like you who is this perfect and could have anyone want to have anything to do with a lump like me?”

  “First, thank you for the compliment, but I’m far from perfect.” He held her gaze with the intensity of his. “Second,” he said as his hand covered her breast, kneading with his palm, “I find your lumps extremely desirable.”

  Abby moaned and leaned more firmly into his grasp. Her lips parted and a flush crept up her neck.

  Jesse savored her reaction. He wanted to see more. When his fingers captured her nipple, she arched her back farther, bringing her breasts closer to his mouth.

  The sensation of his slightly callused hand seemed to excite her. From what she’d said it had been years since she’d had any real attention. That had to be adding to it.

  “Jesse.” She pleaded for more.

  Unable to resist, he pushed her breasts together and buried his face between them. He finally found paradise and wanted to stay forever. His mouth began to explore, leaving wide-open kisses everywhere it touched.

  “Oh, please,” she begged again, urging him to taste a nipple. “Please,” she repeated until he gave in and drew her into his mouth.

  His entire body throbbed when he felt her flesh grow harder. He sucked, wanting to draw her out as far as he could. He felt her tremble when his tongue alternated between flicks and caresses. His hands left no part of her breast untouched. He molded her flesh into mounds, holding them tightly together so there was as little space between her beads as possible. Switching from side to side, he instantly noticed a difference between the two. One side formed a firm point, perfect for sucking. The other had a slight indent at the tip, an ideal place to push with the tip of his tongue. As he swiveled his head, lavishing attention first on one, then the other, he could sense her excitement escalating. He remembered one of his friends in college bragging that he could make his girlfriend climax just by toying with her breasts. Jesse never believed it was possible and he certainly put plenty of effort into the theory. Abby seemed so incredibly sensitive that he wondered if he’d been wrong. Maybe he hadn’t tried with the right woman. Not until her anyway.

  Abby gave up trying to be quiet. She was shivering but this time he sensed it was from pleasure. The way he used his mouth seemed to turn her on beyond belief. She was squirming on his lap, pressing her thighs together, arching her hips repeatedly. Amazement filled him as he anticipated her orgasm.

  “Room service,” a voice announced with an accompanying knock.

  Jesse swore almost violently. “Be right there,” he called out as he slid Abby from his lap. “If you don’t mind, I’ll get that.”

  “I can
do it,” she protested, retying the belt around her hastily donned robe.

  “I know,” he stated, pulling on a shirt so the tails covered his arousal. “But I’m too selfish to let some other guy see you like this. You have no idea how beautiful your expression is, do you?”

  Her brows wrinkled in confusion as he admitted a waiter with their snack. He stood by as the man arranged it on the small table while stealing glances at Abby.

  With a wink, the waiter said, “You two have a good night now. Just leave everything outside your door and I’ll get it later.”

  “Thanks,” Jesse responded coolly, dismissing him as quickly as possible.

  When he was gone, Abby slipped into a chair and began to nibble on her toast. He ate his burger in silence, watching the emotions play across her face. He wondered how long it would be before she stopped automatically averting her eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. I told you I’d behave and then I didn’t.”

  “Neither did I.”

  “But I started it. I licked your neck.”

  “And I responded. If I had even one ounce of will power, I would have sat still and let you explore a little. You’re too alluring for my own good. All my good intentions fly out the window whenever I get close to you. No matter how many times I’ve told myself that I’m going to resist you today, I just can’t seem to remember that when we’re touching.”

  Abby concentrated on her snack. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.” He wished she would look at him but didn’t push it.

  “Um, well, when you were, ah…”

  “When I was devouring your gorgeous breasts?”

  “Yeah.” She was obviously embarrassed. “I was about to… I mean, I almost… I, uh…”

  “You were ready to come?”

  “Yeah. How did you do that?”