“What’s wrong?”
“I was just thinking about how quickly things deteriorated between us when everything seemed so perfect. It scares me.” She bit her bottom lip and couldn’t look me in the eye. “I’m scared of losing you again.”
I lifted her chin. “So you’re scared of sharks and losing me, huh?”
“Mostly the second.”
“How about this? When we do go swimming together at the beach in the summer, if a shark tries to get you, I’ll offer myself up as a tasty alternative.”
“That doesn’t work out too well for my bigger fear, does it?” Her soft giggle was music to my ears.
I met her eyes and spoke directly from my heart. “You don’t have to be scared about losing me.” I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Let’s go to the beach.”
***
Cottesloe Beach was less than a ten-minute drive from our hotel. As promised, I bought her a gelato and we walked along the beach hand in hand, stopping briefly to admire the impressive Indiana Teahouse.
We walked in comfortable silence for several minutes. “Does this feel like the calm before the storm to you?” she asked. “It’s just so incredibly beautiful here, and it feels like we could just be a regular couple on holidays.”
“We’ve never really been a regular couple though, have we?”
The sad look on her face made me regret asking the question.
“I guess not.”
“Do you want regular?” I asked.
“Sometimes.” Even after taking a moment to think it through, her admission gutted me. “Sometimes I yearn for a simpler life.”
“What do you mean?”
She didn’t speak immediately. She appeared deep in thought and my jaw clenched. “I spent some time in a rural village in France.” She paused. “All the villagers were so welcoming and kind. There was a real community spirit and I felt so incredibly welcome.” She stopped and stared out at the Indian Ocean, breathing in the salty air. “I felt peaceful. I felt a contentment I didn’t think I’d ever felt before.”
“Are you planning on upping and moving to France on me?”
She shook her head. “Australia is my home.” She paused briefly. “My life just feels too complicated sometimes, and I wonder if I’m doing it all wrong.”
“It’ll work out, Jules.” I stared at the ocean. I wished we could’ve stayed to watch the sun set. “We just need to keep moving forward.”
She squeezed my hand and moved closer to my side. “I went back to work this week.”
“Oh, right. Of course.” The change of subject threw me for a second. “Was it good to be back?”
“It was okay, I guess. Sia’s staying in England with a guy she met over there.” She scrunched up her nose. “I miss her.”
“Did you consider staying over there with her?”
She looked at me and smiled. “I did really love it, and I hope to do a lot more travelling, but no.” I could see her shoulders rise with tension. “It felt like running away, and I didn’t want to be the girl who ran.”
She must’ve seen the disappointment on my face as she placed her hands on either side of it. “My heart never left you, Leo.”
With no further thought, I kissed her, holding her close to my body where she belonged. When I pulled back, I looked her in the eye. “You are strong and beautiful with the world at your feet.” For a long time, we stood side by side, holding hands and staring out to sea. “I believe in you, Jules.”
“I believe in me too and I believe in us.”
“Come on.” I took her hand and we continued along the beachfront.
“Can I tell you something random?” she asked.
I chuckled. “Of course you can.”
“So, I was in London. Sia had gone off with the guy she met somewhere for the day, so I thought I’d do some touristy things.”
“No shortage of touristy things in London.”
“That’s for sure. Anyway, I came out of the Oxford Circus tube station and was confronted by the busy intersection.” She waved her hand around. “Cars and people going in every direction. Horns blaring, kids crying, buskers at every corner.”
“Sounds… noisy.”
“It was. I’ll get to my point.” She stopped and turned to face me. “I stood at that intersection for ages, not having a clue which road to take. I mean, it didn’t really matter. I had nowhere I had to be, but it made me stop and think about my life back here.”
“A busy intersection made you think about your life? Did you come to any conclusions?” I asked.
“Do you ever feel like you’re at a crossroad somehow and you don’t know which direction to go in?”
I tilted her chin up. “Every decision we ever make has other options, other consequences and other possibilities.” I broke eye contact and stared out at the blue ocean. “I don’t think there are right and wrong choices. There’s just ways of dealing with the road you take.”
She leaned against my arm. “That’s pretty much the conclusion I came to, surrounded by strangers twelve thousand miles from home.” She wrapped her arms around my waist. “I came home to fight for the life I’d already chosen the day our lives collided.”
“It was torture being away from you for so long,” I admitted. “I just told myself you’d come home to me and when you did, I’d never let you go again.
“Didn’t anticipate the Dartmoor bomb though, did you?”
I stared at the ground. “Nope.”
“I haven’t had a chance to apologise on behalf of my mother about that. I’m really sorry she set you up like that.”
I nodded. “Me too, Jules. Me too.” I put my arm around her shoulders and we started walking again. “Tell me more about your travels.” I was eager to hear all about it and keen to change the subject. “Did you meet anyone other than the welcoming French villagers on your travels?” She paused, and when I looked at her, she was biting her bottom lip. Oh God. “Jules?”
“We made a few friends.” She was really struggling with whether to tell me this story or not, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it. “Sia took a real shine to one of them and she stayed in London with him.”
“Okay,” I said slowly.
“And what about you?” I was a masochist.
Her beautiful navy eyes demanded my attention. “As I told you, my heart never left yours.”
I got the feeling there was more to that story, but it wasn’t the right time to dig any further. I needed to relax and then focus.
Before heading back to the hotel, we grabbed a light lunch of fish and chips and sat at one of the tables on the grassy area beside the beach. Whatever storm was brewing, we got to enjoy that lunch together in one of the most beautiful locations in the world.
When we got back to the hotel, Nick was in the lobby on the phone. I swear he had that thing permanently attached to his ear. When he saw us, he ended his call.
“How are you feeling?” Nick asked.
“Fighting fit,” I responded immediately.
“Good to hear.” Nick was all business now. “Meet me in the gym in ten minutes.”
Whether it was true or not about how I felt, I knew I had to get in the right mindset.
“I think I’ll head into the city if you don’t need me for anything?” Juliette said casually.
“Will you be okay on your own?” I asked before I realised how condescending I sounded.
She gave me a look that said really? Smiling, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. I didn’t want her to go, but Nick’s loud throat clearing forced us apart.
“Don’t forget,” she said. “Cowards never start, the weak never finish and winners never quit.” She walked backward a few steps, maintaining our intense connection before turning and heading back out the front doors. I couldn’t take my eyes off her until she disappeared out of view.
“Gym. Ten minutes,” Nick repeated when I hadn’t moved from my spot a few moments later.
Jules was still out when I returned to the room a few hours later. Nick had put me through my paces but kept it a lot lighter than he would’ve under normal circumstances. It was more about him testing my limits and assessing my capabilities than anything else.
“I missed you.” I sat up in bed as she walked through the door a short while later.
She sat down next to me and let me kiss her passionately. “I missed you too.” She smiled against my lips. “How was your training? Are you ready?”
“Not really. I’m nowhere near where I should be, but I’m not one to back down from a challenge.” I was trying desperately to stay positive. “How was your afternoon in the city?”
“Pretty fabulous, actually. I think we should come back to Western Australia sometime for a holiday.”
“You don’t think this is a holiday?” I asked, smirking.
“Watching you kill yourself for a dumb fight?” She cocked her head. “Worst holiday ever.” She punched me lightly on the arm.
Chapter Eleven
Leo
As the time to leave for the stadium approached, Juliette became increasingly nervous and jittery. To stop her pacing, I took her in my arms, holding her head against my chest. “I’ve got this, Jules. I’ve even got my lucky socks on. Don’t worry about me.”
She looked up at me. “I do worry. I can’t help it.”
I took her face in my hands. “I need this, Jules. I know you don't understand, but I can't explain it any better.”
She swallowed hard, doing her best to give me a reassuring smile. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I repeated. “Pete has organised for you to sit in the VIP section and I’ll meet you straight after the fight.”
I kissed her hard and felt her body melt into mine. Imagining the male-dominated crowd ogling her, I felt a territorial pang spike through me. I saw the way men looked at her like she was a menu item. It pissed me off and made me want to smash their faces in, but Juliette coming to Perth hadn’t been a mistake. I’d never been the jealous type until I met her, probably because I’d never cared about anyone before—including myself. When I was with her, I wanted to be more, fight harder, love her with every fibre of my being and kill anyone who got in my way of achieving all those things. Juliette was my Achilles’ heel and I would gladly die for her. I was also glad to have a bloody big desert between her and my mother.
***
Nick and I parted ways with Jules at the stadium. Pete met us in the foyer and escorted her to her seat. The impact of what I was about to do was crippling. The decision to fight had been made on a whim at a time when I hadn’t been thinking clearly. I was nowhere near ready for this fight, and every inch of my tortured body was screaming in protest as I geared up for the fight of my life.
“Where did you just go? Focus, Leo.” Nick’s exasperated voice snapped me out of my pathetic musings. “You’re a dead man walking if you keep this shit up.”
“I’m good.” I shook my head and arms in a feeble attempt to refocus. “Sorry, Coach.”
“Remember what I told you about Lucas. He’s quick and strong, but he’s interested in pleasing his hometown crowd.” He slapped his hands down on my shoulders. “That’s your only real advantage, I’m afraid.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m serious, Leo. You’re all over the place. Mistreating your body doesn't just affect your fighting strength; it affects your ability to focus. Your edge has always been your ability to outsmart your opponent.” He tapped the side of his head. “Use that oversized brain of yours and dig deeper than ever before.”
“Show ponies make it too easy for me. I’m good, Nick.”
“This isn’t the cage. Remember our fight plan.”
“I told you, I’ve got this.”
I was wearing black satin shorts with a matching hooded robe. The music noise level dropped and the MC announced me. “Let’s give a big welcome to ‘Lethal’ Leo Ashlar.”
Rock music blared through the speakers as I jogged down the aisle to a mixture of applause and light abuse. Compared to the illegal fight clubs, this place was a kindergarten. They had no idea who I was, what I was capable of or the rage I could tap into just below the surface. I was no scalp and I was about to prove it.
The crowd went completely mental for the local hero. I'd been brought over as a spectacle, but Lucas’s smug demeanour as he climbed into the ring made me more determined than ever to ruin that plan. I enjoyed winning, but fighting had a very specific enticement for me, and it wasn’t just about the end result. I relished the mind game and the sweet sensation of blindsiding my opponent. Fighting in any arena was as intricate as a chess game. Every move was calculated—a hook, uppercut, block or jab—all designed to take another piece from my opponent. In the end, only one will reign supreme—and little did the Perth crowd know, I was the king.
“Eight rounds is going to be a marathon in your condition, so make sure you stick to our plan, okay?” demanded Nick. “Wait for him to attack, counter strike, and then move off.” Nick pushed my mouthguard in. “Listen to my instructions and don’t get carried away. You are not anywhere near your full strength, and you need to be smart. You need to listen to me. We both know you shouldn’t be here. Don’t be a hero out there.”
I nodded before turning to face my pawn.
Adrenaline kicked in. The hairs on my arms stood up and my feet felt lighter. This was my moment, and all other thoughts left my head. This was what I craved. This was my oblivion.
Lucas bounced around his side and I felt his eyes studying me. That always indicated a smart fighter, and my eyes narrowed. I would give him nothing predictable. He would’ve gleaned little from meeting me at the weigh-in, and he only had my one recent fight to go by. I might have been weaker than I would’ve liked, but I was formidable when I was in the zone.
Lucas threw the first punch: an obvious right hook I had no problem dodging. I was only vaguely aware of the crowd erupting before they fell away. I waited for the split second that his weight was on his back foot to slam my gloved fist into the side of his head before moving off quickly. As expected, he toppled backward, caught off balance. He righted himself and closed the distance quickly. I knew he was about to go for a combination. He was rattled. I’d taken his knight and I was about to take his castle.
Nick and I had agreed on a strategy whereby he would make the defensive and offensive calls as the fight played out. I would be too close to my opponent and wouldn't have the same perspective as Nick in the corner. In my current physical state, I had to concede my ability to make instinctual decisions was compromised.
Lucas attacked, and I countered and then moved off. I was holding my own and preserving some of the precious energy I had to work with. The first four rounds were fairly uneventful, and the crowd no doubt felt a little ripped off. I had to force myself to remain present a lot of the time as my mind drifted away. Get your shit together, I mentally chastised myself.
“You’re doing okay, Leo,” Nick said as he pulled out my mouthguard and towelled me off at the end of the fourth. “Your hits were cleaner, but you are tiring.”
I nodded, wincing when he dabbed at a small cut above my eyebrow.
When the bell rang, I moved back into the ring. I was feeling the heavy toll on my body, and doubt started to infiltrate my psyche. I pushed it away, angry at myself, but the next couple of rounds, I couldn’t deny he was starting to dominate. His body appeared to blur and I had to narrow my eyes to focus. I wasn’t anticipating his moves, and much to my horror, he was anticipating mine.
“Are you still sure about the plan, Nick?” I asked, as he towelled me off. “I need the knockout.”
“I’ll call offensive when I see fit. You’re holding up, but I’m not sure you have the reserves for it.”
“I can do it. I can take down this little fucker.”
He waited ‘til I looked him in the eye. “You have to trust me, Leo.”
I nodded but couldn’t make eye contact. I barely trusted myself at that point, but I ran my own race and made my own decisions.
The bell rang for the second-to-last round. I blocked out everyone and everything other than the other player in my game. He was about to go down, and I relished the shot of adrenaline that would take away the pain.
The knockout was all about the timing. I needed to focus everything I had on one powerful, he-can’t-come-back-from-this blow. I let him do his little dance a while longer. Then I drew him towards me by lowering my gloves for a split second. He would see it as a sign of fatigue and get himself ready for the kill. He was pumped up on ego and I was about to capitalise.
The next ten seconds happened in slow motion. With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I recoiled my arm, sending every cell of my body into high alert. I slammed my fist into him with all the force I could muster then closed my eyes briefly from pure exhaustion, relieved this nightmare was over.
Regaining my composure, I looked out into the crowd. Get ready for disappointment, I thought to myself. My eyes found Juliette’s and her expression wasn’t what I was expecting. She looked nervous and had her hands over her face.
I felt the impact, my knees hit the canvas and then my world went black for a split second. I was on all fours and the referee had started the countdown. Fuck! I pushed off my gloves and struggled to my feet.
Suddenly, I could hear Nick’s angry voice above the crowd’s roar, and I made a quick sweep of the ring in complete disbelief. My arrogance had definitely cost me the round. If Lucas’s hit had been cleaner, he could’ve knocked me out. I glanced at Nick and he gave me the death stare that said, Pull your head in, you fucking idiot.
“What the fuck was that?” Nick seethed as he removed my mouthguard at the end of the round.
“I needed to take him down.” My nonchalant reply enraged him and his face went from flushed to beetroot in seconds.
“A blind man could see you didn’t have the strength to take him out, you arrogant son of a bitch.”
Impact (The Fight for Life #2) Page 6
