“Interesting choice of words,” I snapped.
Nick just shook his head as I took a seat on the stool in the corner, a towel wrapped around my neck.
“I’ve got this.”
“Don’t be so sure. You are not the clear winner and there are two local judges to one interstate.”
Lucas was bouncing on the spot with his gloves in front of his face, clearly enjoying the moment in the sun. Rage coursed through me and I wanted to flatten him.
“Stay back.” Nick’s instruction was said with such blatant venom, I reigned myself in.
Lucas tried to get more blows in and I managed to hold him off and get a few in of my own. I was fighting for my life, and I could still win. One setback would hand the win to Lucas. I dug deeper than ever before and gave that little fucker the very best of me.
When the final bell rang, the crowd went wild. Granted, it wasn’t clear cut, but I was confident I’d still done enough to take the win.
Much to my horror, Lucas was declared the winner on a split decision two points to one.
Check mate.
When we returned to the change rooms, I paced in front of my locker. “Pete’s a fucking snake.”
Nick stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. “Pull your head in. It was close, and yes, you probably should’ve won, but the result wasn’t unfair. If you’d listened to me, I could’ve gotten you the knockout at the right time. Lucas was tiring quickly. He was getting sloppy, but he was still okay when you went rogue.”
I felt the ugly pang of shame.
“You scared me, Leo.” Juliette pushed her palms against my chest when she was let into my private change room. “You told me not to worry, then you go and nearly get knocked out.” She was trying so hard to be nice to me and it just pissed me off. Reality started to inject itself back into my brain as I tried to process. I had been in a fight I was supposed to win. But I hadn’t won. I’d lost. I’d fucking lost. Fuck!
I sat down on the bench. “I’m sorry.” My voice sounded cold and harsh. I’d deserved to lose. I would’ve deserved for my face to meet the canvas with a powerful thud. It was dumb luck that Lucas hadn’t knocked me out.
“What are you apologising for?” She sounded confused and edgy.
I shook my head, breaking eye contact with her. “Nothing. I’d just like to be alone for a bit.”
She didn’t say anything, and eventually I looked up from my hands that I was unwrapping. We looked at each other and neither of us spoke. Her expression was unreadable, and I felt like a dead-end fuck-up. I certainly wasn’t proving her mother wrong. In fact, if she could see me now, I think she’d probably be thrilled.
Juliette couldn’t belong to me any more than I could belong to her. I wasn’t worthy and she was worth too much.
“Stop.” I snapped my head up to Juliette holding her hands up in a firm demand. “What are you doing, Leo?”
I didn’t answer because I didn’t have an answer. I had no idea what I was doing.
She squatted down in front of me and placed her hands over mine. “You freaked out seeing your mum, you agreed to a fight you shouldn’t have and you lost. Get over it.”
“Get over it?”
“Yes. Shit happens. Get over it.”
“Shit happens?”
“Are you going to repeat everything I say?”
I pulled my hands from hers and stood up, walking over to my locker. Rage overtook me and I slammed my hand against the metal door five times in quick succession. “Shit doesn’t just happen, Juliette. People make shit happen.”
“Why won’t you tell me what is really going on?”
I turned around, expecting to see fear in her eyes from my sudden outburst, but instead she was standing tall, her shoulders back and her eyes intense.
“Do you really want to know?” I asked, stalking back to her. “Do you really want to know why I’m a complete fuck-up?”
She closed the distance I had put between us. “You’re not a fuck-up, Leo. I don’t know why you’d think that. One loss in a stupid unfair fight doesn’t make you a fuck-up.” Her voice softened and her eyes filled with tears. “You’re the best person I know. Please don’t push me away now.”
“I’m not good for you,” I whispered.
“Says who? Certainly not me, and the only other opinion that matters is yours, and I don’t think you believe that. I think you’re scared to trust me because you don’t fully trust anyone, including yourself. And I’m pretty sure it has a whole lot to do with your mother.”
My body stiffened. “I can’t do this now.” I sat down in front of my locker and buried my face in my hands. I looked up to see her shaking her head. “Go back to the hotel, Jules.”
She closed her eyes and exhaled before opening them. “Fine. Have your little pity party. I’m sick of your cryptic bullshit. I know you want to love me. You have to trust me to look after your heart or we have no chance.”
I stared at the space where she was standing long after she had disappeared from the room, trying to process her words. “I know you want to love me” was on constant loop in my head.
Chapter Twelve
Juliette
Watching Leo in the boxing ring had been impressive, but… well, it had been disappointing. I knew he could have ended Lucas Albright in a New York minute had he been at full strength. As it was, he appeared lethargic. In the cage, his movements had appeared effortless and instinctual, but tonight, it was almost too hard to watch. To his credit, he still put up a good fight, and if Lucas hadn’t had the hometown advantage, Leo actually could’ve claimed victory. Leo had needed to be the clear winner, and he clearly hadn’t been. I was devastated for him, but it had been pretty fucked up thinking he could beat a local champion in his state. His behaviour after the fight had made me think he knew it too.
Leo had pissed me off, and I was relieved to have a quiet taxi ride back to the hotel. Rather than heading straight to the room, I ducked into the hotel bar and ordered a gin and tonic. Gin wasn’t necessarily the best idea, but it was exactly what I felt like.
“Rough night?” the bartender asked as he placed my drink down in front of me.
I smiled. “You could say that.”
“Did you know bartenders are some of the best listeners in the world?” I didn’t get the feeling he was flirting with me. With the bar almost empty, I think he might’ve just been bored.
“Not all bartenders,” I mumbled.
“Do you want to tell me about your night?” He leaned his hip against the bar as he dried the glasses.
I scrunched up my nose. “Well, let’s see.” I let out a long breath and thought back over not just tonight’s fight, but the last year. I drew in another breath then started to ramble out my exhale. “My mother just got out of a looney bin. My ex-boyfriend’s a gold-digging douche bag and had an affair with my mother. My current boyfriend just lost his first fight ever tonight and is having a big sook, and surprise, surprise…” I threw my hands in the air. “He doesn’t want to talk to me about it.” My bartender friend’s eyes were wide as saucers and he was no longer wiping the glasses.
Wow, he mouthed.
“Oh, it doesn’t end there.” I downed the rest of my drink in one go and watched as it was refilled without me asking.
“On the house.”
“Thanks.” I picked up the glass and took a quick sip.
“So there’s more?”
“My boyfriend told me his mum was dead, but turns out she’s not and it’s sent him into some kind of tailspin and I feel like I’m standing on quicksand.”
“Quicksand, huh?”
“Yep.” I took another swig of my drink then looked up to see my new friend looking over my shoulder with raised eyebrows.
I swung round to see a very intimidating Leo standing right behind me. His eyes were dark and I could see the blood pulsing through the vein in his forehead.
Rather than continue to face him, I swung back to the ba
r. My friend appeared casual and unfazed by the sight of a beaten and bruised Leo. I guess he’d probably seen it all from that side of the bar.
I felt Leo move up next to me at the bar, and I shivered when his forearm touched mine. He took my hand in his. “Come with me.”
His grip was firm, but his touch was gentle and I could never resist his touch. I slid off my barstool and allowed Leo to lead me over to one of the comfortable-looking lounges in the far corner of the bar.
“I got back to our room and you weren’t there.”
“Hope you’re not looking for an apology,” I replied indignantly.
He ran his hands through his hair and clenched his jaw. “I’m not. I came to give you one.” Picking up my hand, he ran his thumb over my knuckles. “The second you left, I knew I’d done the one thing you asked me not to do, and I’m sorry.”
“It pissed me off, Leo.”
“I know.” He shook his head. “I fucked up in the ring too. I managed to piss off you and Nick all in one night.”
“What happened out there?”
He looked me in the eye. “I was wrong.” He shook his head, breaking our eye contact. “Simple as that.”
I took both his hands in mine and waited for him to look at me again. “Do you trust me?”
“I trust you more than anyone else.”
“When we get back to Melbourne, I’m going to need you to tell me what happened five years ago.”
“Why?” His eyes were more pleading than demanding. “Why do you want me to dredge up the past when we’re trying to move forward with our lives?”
“Because your past that you’ve tried so hard to keep hidden turned up alive and well at the looney bin and your knee-jerk reaction was to nearly kill yourself.” I raised my eyebrows. “In a nutshell.”
Leo closed his eyes briefly and several minutes passed in silence. I could almost see the cogs of his brain spinning out of control. Eventually he met my gaze. “I’ve never talked to anyone about it before.”
It had been a really long and emotional day, and I was ready to go back to our room. “Come on, ‘Lethal’ Leo Ashlar, let’s go.” I stood up and held out my hand for him.
I knew I was breaking through to him one small step at a time, and I’d keep fighting until I broke through completely. He was worth it and so was I.
When he opened the door to our room and held it open for me, I felt the electricity crackling between us. He had to be exhausted from the fight and his physically demanding week, but something told me we wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon. As if reading my mind, he slammed me up against the wall and kissed me hard. There was nothing sweet or tender about that kiss, but it was one of the greatest kisses of my life to date. I felt consumed, hungered for and wrapped up warmly in the promises he intended to keep. Our kisses felt like the glue that bound us together, and every single one was another beautiful moment in the story of us. We were drifting souls finding an anchor in each other. Lies and hidden truths were our stormy seas, and I sensed calm waters ahead, just beyond the horizon.
Leo’s hands were everywhere, touching me urgently. “I want you so bad.” He groaned the words against my lips.
“I’m already yours,” I panted.
My words were barely out when I was scooped off the floor and rushed across the room, past the bed and into the bathroom. He lowered me to the floor slowly to let me feel his hardness against my body. I was already high on lust and expectation, and that just about pushed me over the edge.
“Get naked,” he demanded as he turned the shower on. “We’re gonna try this again.” It was not a polite request. It was an absolute demand said by a man who was going to take what was his. I loved the tender and vulnerable side of Leo, but the demanding alpha Leo was so damn sexy, and my clothes melted off my body of their own volition.
I knew this was in no way about getting clean. In fact, I was hoping we were about to get dirty. He raked his eyes up and down my body shamelessly, while the ultimate proof of his lust strained against his taut stomach. Every part of him called my name from his muscular arms to his tight arse just asking to be grabbed, but I couldn’t focus on anything for long when he stepped into the shower and beckoned me to follow.
His hand made its way behind my neck and I was pulled to him. His lips crashed down over mine, claiming what was already his. I opened my mouth, and his tongue instantly found mine.
We were two souls reconnecting. Two souls remembering. Two souls belonging.
He pushed me backward under the warm spray and I tilted my head back to enjoy its therapy. Leo’s lips immediately found my neck while his hands roamed my back, always pulling me closer.
His magic hands found my breasts and kneaded them with the expertise of a man who knew exactly what turned me on. I leaned back against the cold, tiled wall of the expansive shower cubicle and was granted the luxury of Leo’s mouth where his hands had just been. I lifted my left leg and wrapped it around him, willing his erection to grind me harder.
“You are so fucking gorgeous, Jules.”
I gasped. “I need you to fuck me.”
His hands smoothed their way down my back and cupped my backside, lifting me easily, the way he’d intended the night before. When he looked me in the eye, he would’ve no doubt seen my absolute desperation for him. I would never want any man the way I wanted Leo Ashlar.
“My pleasure.” With those two words, he thrust into me in one fluid motion. We were together in every sense of the word, and I revelled in the fireworks that exploded around us. The outside world had no business in that bathroom, in that hotel or in our lives. The feeling of having him deep inside me, holding me as if I were the only other person on the planet, was the single most intense and liberating feeling I could imagine.
“I love…” He paused. “I love fucking you.”
The mounting pressure circulated my body in escalating waves. “Harder, Leo. Fuck me harder.” I could barely grunt out the words as he pounded me faster, gaining more depth. I was probably going to have bruises down my back from being slammed into the wall, but I didn’t care. The water cascaded over our joined bodies and I was soaring closer and closer to the cliff’s edge. I wanted to jump off more than I wanted to breathe.
The slow burn was intoxicating and I was addicted.
“Come for me, baby.” Leo groaned the words out then sucked my nipple into his mouth, shooting desire right through my quivering body.
“Leo,” I screamed as the peak emerged and I threw myself into the darkness without a second’s thought. “Leo.” I repeated his name as I soared through my own personal ecstasy, flying on the wings of love and exceeded expectations. I was owned by one man and one man alone. There was this and there was everything else. I wanted this.
Leo gripped me tighter as he grunted out his own long release into my neck. “I need you.” The words were muffled by the water, but clear enough for me to absorb their weight.
We stayed there joined together in the aftermath of incredible sex until the water started to cool.
“That was incredible,” Leo whispered into my ear as he took his time drying me.
“It was.” I smiled at him when our eyes met. “Incredible.”
“Let’s go to bed.” He took my hand and led me back into the bedroom.
“You must be completely shattered.” I caught him yawning as we pulled back the covers.
We climbed into bed and entwined ourselves around each other. With our faces an inch apart, I gazed into his beautiful blue eyes. “You scared me today, Leo.”
“I’m sorry.” He placed his hand gently on my face. “I never want that. Ever.”
I watched his eyes close and his body relax. He was asleep in seconds, succumbed to the exhaustion I knew must’ve been right there waiting for the moment to claim him.
I kissed him three times, finding it hard to stop reminding his body of my touch. I wanted to make an indelible print on him so he knew we were forever.
Chapter Thirt
een
Leo
“Sit down,” Nick said, skipping any pleasantries.
He’d asked for a private word before we flew home, so I’d agreed to meet him in the hotel restaurant for coffee the next morning. Juliette told me she’d order room service and pack our bags while I was gone.
I sat down opposite him and leaned back in my chair. Perhaps I was subconsciously maximising the distance between myself and the inevitable rant. When he didn’t say anything, I decided I should start by apologising.
“Sorry for wasting your time, Nick. I don’t—”
He held up his hand. “Stop. I’m not here to give you a bollocking. I’m sure you’ve done a good enough job of that yourself.”
“Then what did you want to talk to me about?”
“I want your commitment.”
“Okay.” I was completely confused.
“If you’re interested, I want to help you take it all the way, but I need your commitment.” He sat forward and rested his elbows on the table. “The apartment above the fight club is empty, and it’s all yours if you want it. I could give you a job training the young boxers too in exchange for rent if that’s something you think you might be interested in.”
“What?” I sat forward, blindsided by his offer. “Are you serious?”
“Deadly.”
“But I fucked up last night. I don’t get why you would want to train me again or offer me a job.”
“You’re a better fighter now in a lot of ways. Your Muay Thai training has made you a fighting machine. Pete Sanders might be an arsehole, but he knew he’d get a helluva fight from you even though the weight loss would make it almost impossible for you to win.”
I shook my head. “I wanted to prove him wrong so bad.”
He tapped the side of his head. “Your mind was all over the place. Even though I was pissed you didn’t listen to me, it was an unbelievable feat what you did out there.”
Silence hung between us for a few moments.
“Can I think about it?”
“Juliette told me you saw your mother.”
Impact (The Fight for Life #2) Page 7
