Seeking Scandal

by Nadine Millard

  Caroline felt tears spring to her eyes as she remembered Tom's appearance last night.

  The love she had felt for him had slammed into her once again and there had been a brief moment of pure, unadulterated joy at seeing him again before the reality of their situation followed swiftly in its trail.

  For it had been painfully obvious from his countenance, his flat tone, his sardonic glances that any love Tom Crawdon had felt for her was long since gone. And in its place was a cold, furious hatred.

  "My lady?" Sally's voice finally cut through Caroline's maudlin thoughts.

  "I'm sorry, Sally. I was wool gathering I'm afraid. I did not sleep overly well last night."

  Which was a gross understatement. Every time she had closed her eyes, visions of Tom's disdain for her had burst to the forefront of her mind and consequently she had spent the night tossing, turning, and bemoaning the fact that all of her plans for the Season, for some fun and enjoyment, were reduced to nought.

  For the truth of it was that she was still irrevocably in love with Tom Crawdon. And no amount of scandal or mischief was going to make up for the fact that she had had her chance at real happiness, and had turned her back on it.

  Any plans or excitement she had for these coming months seemed nothing more than childish games now. Besides, how could she enjoy herself knowing that the man she loved was back in Town and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her?

  Sally had known the second Lady Caroline had walked through the door last night that something was very wrong with her mistress.

  Although her manner had been slowly softening over the past couple of years, Lady Caroline still tried to conduct herself with the rigidity that the Upper Class were bred for.

  The only time Sally had seen it truly shaken had been in the weeks directly following Lady Rebecca's engagement party. And though Lady Caroline had been confiding in Sally since leaving the schoolroom, and had oft said that she considered the abigail more friend than servant, she had never made Sally privy to what exactly had gone on that night.

  Sally guessed that it must have had something to do with his grace's handsome cousin. In fact, she had been convinced that there would be an announcement made about Mr. Crawdon and her mistress soon after that of Lady Rebecca and the duke.

  But none was forthcoming. Mr. Crawdon had disappeared from London the night of the ball and her mistress had changed that night. First it had been utter misery, the likes of which Sally had never seen from the perfectly controlled Lady Caroline. Then came a sort of depressive acceptance of, rather than interest in, her life. Finally, she had seemed anxious to throw off the somewhat self-imposed shackles of unyielding acceptability. And while Sally was only too happy to see her young mistress soften and have a little fun, she knew that it had all started with whatever had transpired between Lady Caroline and Mr. Crawdon that night.

  Even now, although Lady Caroline never spoke of him anymore, Sally knew her mistress had never recovered from whatever had unfolded between them.

  Last night, Lady Caroline had returned subdued and pale. Sally had wondered at this behaviour until the servants' gossip this morning had thrown up Mr. Crawdon's name and Sally had paid attention. It appeared Mr. Crawdon was back, and Sally now understood her mistress's manner.

  Caroline could see Sally's shrewd gaze raking over her. She sighed inwardly then heaved herself up into a sitting position. If she did not pretend that all was well then Sally would harangue her to find out what was wrong. And Caroline would get enough of that from Rebecca and Edward.

  "My lady—"

  "The sprigged muslin sounds perfect, thank you Sally." Caroline spoke brusquely as she lifted her morning cup of chocolate to her lips. The best way to deal with Sally's questions was to stop them before they began.

  There was a short, tense standoff between the two women. Would Sally try to pursue the matter, having long since passed the time of unthinking obedience, or would Caroline be able to stare her down in that unique way that she had?

  Finally, with a small huff of resignation Sally took the dress and swept from the room.

  Caroline smiled a little at her victory. Sally was older than Caroline and sometimes forgot that she was a maid and not a mother. But theirs was a real friendship and Caroline truly appreciated it.

  It wasn't long before Sally was back and helping Caroline to prepare for the day.

  "Will you be out this afternoon, my lady?" she asked as she dressed Caroline's hair.

  "I cannot say. I am not sure what her grace has planned. Though truth be told I would as soon stay at home."

  "Well perhaps that is what you will do today. I am sure there are many who would like to reacquaint themselves with you. And that is why you're here, is it not?"

  Caroline mumbled something non-committal and then, seeing that Sally had finished her ministrations, quickly left the room.

  Yes, that was why she was here. To meet people, socialise, enjoy herself and then, with any luck, settle down with someone of her own choosing and not Papa's.

  But since her meeting with Tom last night, none of those things held any appeal anymore and she wanted, more than anything, to go back in time and make the right choice. Living with regret was a painful process at times, but it was nothing compared to the despair of knowing, without doubt, that the man she loved despised her.

  Caroline composed herself and straightened her shoulders before entering the breakfast room. She had no idea how much Edward or Rebecca knew of her relationship with Tom, but if they didn't mention it, neither would she.

  Taking a fortifying breath, she entered the room. It was empty. Caroline frowned in surprise; she was not very late was she? Sally would have been sure to wake her at the correct hour.

  Frowning a little, she sat at the table and accepted the proffered coffee from a waiting footman. Her stomach had been tied in knots since last night so she had no desire to eat any of the delicious food on the sideboard.

  Caroline felt a little strange sitting all alone in the huge breakfast room and was contemplating just leaving when the sound of approaching footsteps stopped her. At least now she would not be alone.

  The door to the room opened and Jenson entered, bowing formally.

  "Mr. Crawdon, my lady."

  Caroline froze in horror. Tom was here? Now? But, but she was alone. She could not face him alone. Not after his treatment of her last night.

  "I, uh—"

  "Really, Jenson," Tom's voice sounded outside the room and Caroline's stomach lurched at the tone of cheeriness which was sure to disappear as soon as he entered the room. He must not have noticed the butler's use of 'my lady' as opposed to 'your grace'. "When will you learn to stop being so formal? Edward does not expect me to be announced. And neither, I'm sure does Rebe—"

  Tom's speech cut off abruptly as he finally entered the room and noticed that it was Caroline whom the butler had addressed.

  There was a moment of tense silence as Caroline and Tom gazed at each other. Tom's deep blue eyes gleamed with an emotion that Caroline did not recognise, before he schooled his features into a mask of disdainful disinterest.

  He did not utter a word, just stared at her rather insolently.

  Caroline swallowed compulsively and clasped her hands together as she stood to welcome him.

  "Good morning, Tom," she mumbled hesitantly, her nervousness making her voice shakier than she would have liked.

  Jenson had taken his leave and apart from the serving footmen, Caroline and Tom were quite alone. Before, Caroline would have balked at the impropriety of the situation. Now, she just despaired of the awkward tension swirling around them.

  Rather than reply, Tom's eyes raked her from head to toe with an expression that clearly said he found her wanting.

  Caroline forgot her nerves in the face of such rudeness and she raised her chin infinitesimally, her eyes flashing blue fire.

  "Is Edward about?" Tom finally drawled, taking a seat at the table.

  Carolin
e almost gasped at his deliberate slight. Tom had long since been an integral member of the ton, being both ridiculously wealthy and a Crawdon, and he was well aware that to sit before a lady was a gross misstep. Since he did not make mistakes, Caroline could only assume that the insult had been deliberate.

  Caroline did her best to cling to her much lauded self-control, though the temptation to slap him was steadily increasing.

  She deliberately stayed standing and gazed down at him imperiously.

  "What? Do you think I am hiding him somewhere?"

  Tom's eyebrow rose slightly at the sarcastic tone.

  "Careful, Lady Caroline, your personality is beginning to show."

  That did it. Caroline refused to stand here and be insulted by him.

  Without another word, she turned and swept from the room. It took everything in her power not to slam the door behind her.

  She was about to make her way back to her room when the sound of Rebecca's cooing voice alerted her to the fact that Rebecca and Henry were on their way down to breakfast. Caroline was in no mood to face her sister who would know immediately that something was wrong.

  So she turned instead to the drawing room and closed the door swiftly behind her. Her hackles were well and truly raised.

  Tom had every right to be disappointed in her, even angry with her. But that did not mean he had leave to treat her so abominably.

  Caroline began to pace in her agitation. This Season was going to be an utter disaster. Tom would be around all the time, treating her badly no doubt. And her heart would break a little more with every jibe.

  This Season was her last chance to do something for her and her alone. And it was going to be ruined by Tom's anger and her own heartache. Her temper was mounting and she felt less in control of it now than she had in years.

  Everyone always assumed her iciness meant her feelings did not blow hot sometimes, but they were wrong. She did not often get in a towering rage but when she did, it was a sight to behold.

  She must calm down. Temper tantrums were no good to anybody. But he made her so angry!

  Edward stepped through the door of his townhouse feeling thoroughly refreshed from his morning ride. He wondered if Henry were awake yet and decided to make his way to the nursery to check. No doubt he would find Rebecca there too.

  He was about to make his way upstairs when he heard the distinctive sound of something smashing. And it was coming from the closed drawing room.

  He immediately panicked and cast his mind over the last few hours. Something smashing meant either a clumsy maid, and that was unheard of amongst his impeccable staff, or Rebecca was in a towering rage.

  He gulped and made his way toward the room. He was almost sure that he could not be at fault — he had left her more than happy this morning. But then, one could never be entirely sure either.

  Taking a calming breath, he pushed open the door.

  "Sweetheart what—"

  His words were cut short by the sight before him. Not Rebecca, but Caroline. And she looked fit to put a bullet in somebody. Her cheeks were flushed scarlet and her eyes blazed fiercely, like blue fire. She looked terrifying. A family trait, clearly.

  "Caroline." He said no more. He was too scared.

  Edward's presence jolted Caroline from the fit of temper and her gaze immediately changed from anger to contrition. She felt a wave of shame wash over her at being caught.

  "Edward." She sounded a little breathless as she struggled to compose herself. "The vase. I apologise. It was an accident."

  Edward did not ask how she had accidentally smashed a vase but Caroline could see from his sceptical expression that he did not believe her.

  "Truly, it was. I–I threw a cushion and, well, my aim is not very good."

  Edward looked suspiciously like he was trying to contain his laughter and Caroline felt murderous again. If he laughed, she'd smack him. After all there was a vague similarity between Tom and him. A substitute would not feel as good but it was better than hitting nobody.

  "May I enquire as to what brought on this fit of temper? I must confess I was rather surprised it was you and not my wife causing such a to-do."

  Caroline hesitated as she wondered what to say. She had no wish to cause any problems for Edward, who had welcomed her into his home so graciously. And putting him into the middle of her troubles with Tom would be decidedly awkward. But there was no real way to avoid it, since he would know soon enough that Tom was here. Edward was a smart man; it would not take long to put the pieces together.

  Sighing resignedly she answered. "Your cousin has paid a call and we, that is to say I—oh I hate him!" she finished fervently.

  Edward's eyebrows rose a little at her impassioned outburst but made no comment. He knew that this situation could not be allowed to continue. He was aware of what had transpired between his cousin and sister-in-law. And though he felt nothing but sympathy for Tom, he felt it too for Caroline, knowing as he did how much pressure was on her shoulders.

  Caroline was under his protection for the duration of this Season, and although he loved Tom as a brother, he could not allow him to continue in his disrespectful treatment of her.

  Face grim, he held out his arm silently for Caroline to take. She came forward and meekly did as she was bid.

  They entered the breakfast room to find Rebecca chatting happily to Tom while he bounced a laughing Henry on his knee. Caroline refused to allow herself to feel anything as she watched Tom doting over his young cousin.

  "Hello you two," Rebecca chirped from her seat before her smile slowly faded as she took in Edward's expression. "What—"

  "Ladies, please excuse us," Edward interrupted her, "Tom. A word."

  Tom looked up and registered Edward's expression with a wry twist of his lips. He glanced toward Caroline.

  "Telling tales are we?"

  Caroline, who never swore, felt like it was time to break the habit of a lifetime.

  "No," she bit back, "I said nothing save that you were here."

  "Then what, pray tell, has my cousin in such a fit?"

  "Perhaps it is merely your presence," she answered sharply before taking her seat and signalling for some more coffee, meaning to ignore him until he left the room.

  "Look at you," Tom retaliated, clearly not meaning to leave her alone, "showing that personality again. Whatever can have gotten into you?"

  "Tom." Edward's voice held a world of warning but neither Tom nor Caroline paid any heed.

  Caroline refused to answer, refused to take his bait.

  But Tom was not done.

  "Tell me," he continued, leaning back in his chair as if he hadn't a care in the world, "if you did not run to my big bad cousin, why is he shooting daggers at me?"

  Caroline sighed in exasperation.

  "I did not tell him anything. He—I was angry and—" her face flushed scarlet again. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. "I broke a vase."

  There was a moment's silence as everyone observed this information. This was certainly a shock, coming from Caroline.

  Tom chuckled softly, though the sound held no humour and grated on Caroline's overwrought nerves.

  "My, my. Showing emotion, my dear? That won't do. I'm sure whatever perfectly staid gentleman you have in your sights would not want a wife with feelings. Best to revert back to normal."

  "That's it!" Edward exploded and moved to hand the baby to Rebecca then lifted Tom bodily from the chair. "Out. Now."

  Caroline's eyes remained fixed determinedly on her plate while the men left the room. Her anger was on the up again, but so too was her devastation. She had never thought such cruelty would come from Tom's lips. He had changed so very much. No longer the laughing, carefree jester. He was now cold, remote, and cynical. Could she have done that to him? Or perhaps it was something that had happened throughout his stay in America.

  "Somebody had better tell me what is going on here." Rebecca's voice cut through Caroline's thoughts.

&n
bsp; Caroline glanced up to see Rebecca send a footman for Henry's nurse. Rebecca looked angry and her anger fed Caroline's.

  So, he thought her lacking in emotion did he? He thought her incapable of acting like anything other than the unfeeling statue he presumed her to be? Well, she would show him.

  "I shall tell you what's going on here," she answered now, injecting her voice with steely determination, "I'm going to prove that odious man wrong once and for all."

  CHAPTER FIVE

  TOM MADE SURE to keep his expression impassive as he sat back in the seat in front of Edward's desk.

  Edward, for his part, remained standing. Prowling, really.

  Tom knew that his treatment of Caroline had angered Edward and really, he could not blame him. She was, after all, his sister-in-law now and it would seem that she was staying here for the Season. Of all the rotten luck.

  But, there was plenty of time to bemoan that later. Right now he had to put all his effort into making sure his cousin didn't shoot him.

  Edward still hadn't spoken so Tom took the opportunity to perfect his appearance of nonchalance. It was harder than he thought. Seeing Caroline last night had brought up a whole host of feelings that he was not ready to address.

  He had come this morning to try to explain things to Rebecca and Edward. Edward of course knew the situation, but he was hoping to give Rebecca a passable excuse without having to inform her that her sister had shattered his soul two years ago and seeing her again reminded him why she had the power to do so.

  He had been completely unprepared to see Caroline again this morning and his body's immediate reaction to her, just as intense as last night, took him by surprise. Angered him too. He did not want to feel anything for her. Not after what had happened.

  But she was still…perfect. And it galled him. So he had been cruel, mean, insulting — anything to hide the fact that she still affected him so, in ways that he did not understand or want to examine.