Rowen lifted his hand from her butt and pulled her around until she was sitting on his lap and he had her face cupped in his palms. He frowned, wiping away the remnants of another round of uninvited tears. “What were these from, sweet girl? I spend a lot of time making you cry.”
She forced a smiled, cocking her face into one of his palms. “I got emotional. It’s been a long time since I felt this. I forgot how good it can be,” she admitted.
He smiled. “I hope that’s a good thing. Because I love dominating you, Faith. It’s fulfilling. It centers me. I feel grounded when I’m with you. My best me.”
Her heart pounded. For how long? A few more days?
He kissed her lips, gently at first, and then with more passion. On a groan, he broke the kiss and lifted her off his lap. He stood and pointed at the bed. “Climb in. You need sleep. I’ll lock the door on my way out.”
She slid between the sheets, wishing she had the guts to ask him to stay. She didn’t want the evening to end. She wanted him to take off his clothes, climb into bed with her, and hold her all night.
But she said nothing. After all, he was already displeased from her arguing with him earlier. If she made such a request, he would think she was topping from the bottom.
He tucked the sheets around her and leaned over to kiss her temple. “Sleep well, sweet girl.” And then he left her, slipping from her room and then her apartment.
For a long time she stared at the place she’d last seen him, willing the clock back five minutes so she could beg him to stay. Fuck topping. She wanted him in her bed.
Finally, she closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. Her butt stung against the coolness of the sheets. She considered turning over to alleviate the burn, but decided she liked it. It reminder her she had a new Dom. A stern Dom who wouldn’t permit argument. And in her heart, she knew Victor would be happy for her.
Her pussy pulsed with the need to come, but she kept her hands folded on her belly. There was no way she could touch herself without instantly coming. And Rowen had forbidden her to do so.
Deep cleansing breaths.
She thought she would have trouble falling asleep with her mind racing, but instead, a sense of peace she hadn’t felt in a long time settled over her. She let go of her concerns and drifted away.
Chapter 20
Rowen leaned back in his chair in his home office and stared at the picture on his phone for the hundredth time since Faith had sent it that morning. Her pink bottom. Perfection. Not bruised. Not so red she couldn’t sit. But pink enough to serve as a reminder that his palm had swatted her five times last night.
The cell phone still in his hand buzzed, indicating he had an email.
He smiled when he saw the screen flash across the top. It was from Faith. The fact that she sent another correspondence made him irrationally excited. He really needed to get ahold of himself.
Even though she had opened up to him last night and spilled her soul, there was no way to ensure things would work out between them. It concerned him greatly that she was so adamant about keeping her distance from her family.
He also worried that her money would get in the way eventually too. He couldn’t imagine a world in which he forged a full-time D/s relationship with a woman who was so loaded she could buy her own club. Not just shoes or purses or paintings. She was undoubtedly far wealthier than that. No matter how irrational it was, he didn’t think he could ever get past his need to care for Faith or any other woman who submitted to him.
Even if he could get past those two road blocks, there was no guarantee Faith could be the kind of submissive he desperately craved. He’d crashed and burned in this area multiple times, the last being with Rayne. Finding a woman who wanted to submit to him twenty-four seven was a monumental task. Some people went their entire lives and never found that perfect match.
Rayne hadn’t been willing to do it. Neither had any other woman before her. Although Faith said she was interested in that sort of arrangement, there was no proof she could live those words. For one thing, she hadn’t really had a full-time arrangement with her husband since he’d been deployed a good portion of their marriage. For another thing, she found ways to top Rowen when he least expected it.
Rowen turned toward his computer to open his email, preferring to read her latest words on the larger screen. As it powered up, he closed his eyes and pictured her arguing with him last night about having an escort to the front door. He added the memory of her trying to convince him to let her stay at the club while he closed.
His cock stiffened irrationally. Why would he get aroused at the thought of her defying him? He stared into space across his office, seeing nothing while he pondered the possibility that she enjoyed being punished and perhaps even thrived on it.
Could he fulfill that need for her? It wasn’t that she was a brat. She didn’t intentionally whine or set out to defy him. It happened by accident. He wasn’t sure she had realized she’d defied him at the time. But she had undeniably gotten aroused when he spanked her.
And so had he.
Whether consciously or subconsciously, she had tried to top him twice last night. Did she have a bratty side? Was she unable to fully submit? Or had she been testing him? He prayed it was the last.
Rowen shifted his gaze to the email from Faith.
Sir,
There were only a few unanswered questions left after last night. I don’t want there to be any lingering holes in what you know about me, so let me answer them now.
Do I get aroused when I dominate others? No. Dominating for me is like a Band-Aid. It gives me pleasure. I enjoy helping other people fill a need. I’ve never gotten off from it. Other than the rush of knowing someone would sleep better that night because of something I gave them.
Do I get aroused when I submit to others? Depends. When I’m submitting for the purpose of learning the ins and outs of a new apparatus, no. When I’m with a Dom I’m not physically attracted to, no. When I’m with someone I want to submit to, yes.
When I’m with you, so much yes.
When I’m not with you, I’m always submitting to you even from a distance, so I’m in a constant state of arousal.
I’m aroused now, Sir.
Rowen couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. His cock was so hard he had to pop the button on his jeans and lower the zipper. His hands shook so badly he had trouble moving the mouse around to scroll up and down the screen.
I’m aroused now, Sir.
He could hear the sweet lilt of her voice as if she’d spoken the words out loud.
He wanted to push away from the desk and drive to her apartment. He wanted to fuck her so hard she saw stars. He wanted to fill her pussy and never let her go.
Instead, he circled his cock with his hand and stroked up and down with a firm grip. Now was not the time to drag things out. He needed relief.
When his vision grew so blurry that he no longer saw her words, he let his eyes slide closed and savored the feel of his dick wrapped in his fingers. It didn’t take long. He was on the edge in moments. After reaching to yank a few tissues out of the box on his desk, he covered the tip of his cock and let himself come.
He moaned, his voice reverberating in the office. Every pulse jerked his hands forward. Finally, the last bursts of semen left him panting and shaky. He tossed the tissues in the trash and leaned against the edge of the desk to catch his breath.
Faith Robbins was taking over his world. He both loved and feared what that might mean.
Rowen was slightly disappointed that he had plans with the other guys from work that night. He was even more aggravated that it was his turn to host. But they had a standing poker night one Thursday a month, and eyebrows would raise if he canceled at the last minute for no apparent reason.
Lincoln and Carter were aware of his clandestine arrangement with Faith. The rest of the staff was not. Three other guys worked part-time at Zodiac. Dayton, Tyler, and Aaron. All five would be arriving at seven.
Since the club was open Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, Thursdays were the perfect night to socialize outside of work.
At six forty-five Rowen checked his email for the last time. Nothing new from Faith. He’d responded to her message simply.
I like knowing your pussy is wet with desire even when I’m not with you. I wish I could watch you fingering yourself. Remember not to come without permission.
Fifteen minutes later, Lincoln arrived, the rest of the guys trickling in soon after. Rowen found he was glad for the distraction as they opened the poker surface on top of his table and then settled down with beer, pizza, and chips.
Dayton was the first to break the ice. “What’s up with you and Faith?” he asked as he shuffled the cards, the smirk on his face telling. “She’s hot. I’ve seen her work. Are you letting her top you upstairs where no one can see?”
Rowen flushed slightly as he nearly choked on his beer. Is that what the other employees thought?
Carter laughed. “Rowen? Bottom?”
Rowen needed to put this fire out before it got started. “What are you talking about?”
Aaron chuckled. “Dude, you’ve been caught twice sneaking her out of the club. Don’t deny it.”
Rowen took a deep breath and counted to ten, wondering how to handle the damage control. He and Faith hadn’t discussed this possibility. Would she be pissed that people knew about them? He wasn’t sure. He assumed she simply didn’t want to out herself as a submissive yet in a world where she’d been a practicing Domme for several weeks.
But could it be more than that? “You guys need more to do on the floor if you have time to gossip about something you’ve totally invented in your heads,” he retorted with a bit too much vehemence. He could feel the tension in his face.
“Jeez, Rowen, lighten up,” Tyler said. “It’s not like everyone in the club knows. Aaron just happened to be working near the door Saturday night when you left with Faith. And I was there Wednesday night. It’s not gossip. It’s an observation. Between friends.”
Rowen rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. You all know how fiercely some people protect their privacy.”
Lincoln’s distinctly low voice filled the room next. “Rowen, we’re friends. No one at this table would say a word to anyone about Faith. We’ve all been in the lifestyle long enough to know better.”
Rowen blew out a breath. “Right. Of course. Sorry. This is sensitive territory.”
The air sucked out of the room, and he lifted his gaze to find every man staring at him. Aaron’s, Tyler’s, and Dayton’s eyes were wide. Finally, he realized what he had inadvertently suggested. Fine. Let them think whatever they wanted. It wasn’t his place to give them any more information than what they’d surmised from what they’d seen.
A smile spread across Dayton’s face. “I get it.”
Tyler chuckled. “Yep.”
Aaron set his elbows on the table, leaning closer. “You know none of us would say a word. To anyone. Ever.”
Rowen wondered what they thought they “got” from his total lack of information. But for now, he decided it would be prudent to keep his lips closed and let them invent whatever story made them happy. Either way would stun anyone. If Rowen was submitting to Faith, his closest friends would stop breathing in shock. Then again, none of them could probably imagine Faith submitting to him either. It was a toss-up. Let them wonder.
Rowen did have another concern however. “Are people talking? The other members, I mean?”
Lincoln cleared his throat. “I can field that one from Sasha’s perspective. A few people asked her where Faith was Wednesday night, but she blew them off. It’s not like Faith habitually came in every night we were open. It was easy.”
Carter spoke next. “I did have a member ask if she could book a time with Faith for Saturday night.”
“Who?” Rowen asked, his back straightening.
“Brooke.”
Rowen frowned, pondering that possibility. “I’ll talk to Faith.”
Carter lowered his gaze to pick up the hand of cards he’d been dealt. “Faith has been working with Brooke. I think she’s skittish. She hasn’t performed publicly. I haven’t seen her sub for any men since she joined either. Only Faith, and only in private.”
Lincoln picked up his cards too. “Now we’re switching from judging Faith to judging Brooke? Who cares if she submits to men or women?”
Rowen eyed Carter who seemed nervous as he rolled his eyes. “You know I’m not judging anyone. Don’t be ridiculous. I just think there’s something about her.”
“Brooke?” Aaron clarified. “Or Faith?”
“Brooke.” He shrugged. “What can I say? She’s cute. I’ve been watching her.” Yep, his face was red.
Lincoln cocked his head to one side. “How about you ask her to submit to you then? Have you tried that?”
“Not a chance. She’s as closed off as a woman can be when I speak to her.”
“But you’re interested,” Rowen pointed out.
“Maybe.” Carter straightened his back and glared at everyone. “How the hell did I become the center of this conversation? We were talking about Faith, not Brooke.”
Aaron tapped the table and set his gaze on Rowen. “You know none of us care who’s topping whom while the two of you are sequestered in your office, but how long are you going to try and conceal this thing? People will start talking if you keep sneaking up and down the stairs like you have something to hide.”
“He’s right,” Lincoln added.
Rowen glanced around at all their faces. They deserved at least some answers. Too bad he didn’t have them.
Carter cleared his throat. “Is this about money?”
Rowen flinched.
Carter groaned. “Dude, please don’t tell me you’re lurking around in the shadows with a woman because you’re hung up on her wealth.”
He took a deep breath. “Maybe.” He sat up straighter. “It’s complicated.”
Carter leaned forward, getting in his face. “Look, I know you have issues with money. I get it. You’ve had some stupid experiences, and you get all the crazies coming to you to do their taxes, but you can’t judge every single person based on a few.”
Now this was an intervention.
Lincoln apparently thought he should weigh in too, and damn if he didn’t hit the nail on the head. “It’s not just that she has money. You know Rowen. He likes to take care of his women.”
All the guys groaned before Carter spoke again. “Rowen, jeez. The two are not mutually exclusive. You can take care of a woman without getting hung up on her ability to buy designer purses and shoes. Who cares? Her wealth shouldn’t have anything to do with her ability to submit to you…or vice versa,” he joked.
Rowen grabbed a handful of popcorn and launched it across the table toward his friend. Carter wasn’t far from the truth. Rowen did like to take care of his women, and at the moment that included protecting her privacy and not divulging who was topping whom to the entire room. “Are we going to play cards or what?”
His friends had managed to plant some ideas in his head, though. He needed to examine his obsession with being a caregiver in all ways. Faith’s money shouldn’t be a deal breaker from the standpoint of him caring for her, and she’d called him on that herself.
The next hour passed in a far more normal fashion with everyone talking over each other, exchanging barbs, eating, drinking, and dealing cards.
And then Rowen’s phone buzzed in his pocket. They were between hands. Tyler was about to deal when Rowen leaned on one hip to reach into the front of his jeans and extract his cell.
He nearly dropped it.
Faith: Permission to come, Sir.
He shoved from the table and stood. Without looking at anyone, he spoke. “I’ve gotta take this call. I’ll sit this round out. Be right back.” And then he bolted down the hallway to his bedroom, shut the door, locked it, and tapped the screen to call Fai
th.
“Sir…” Her voice was breathy.
“Faith…” He sounded just as breathy, and he had to adjust his cock at the sound of her voice.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day, Sir.”
“I like to hear that, sweet girl.” He held his breath a moment to center himself and get in control. “Did you work today?”
“Yes, but from home. I had several calls to make, but I never left the house, Sir.”
“So, you’ve been naked all day.”
“Yes…” That one word, hissed more than spoken. “It was…distracting, Sir.”
He smiled. “Good. Then I guess you deserve some relief.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“I want you to get that egg from the bag, sweet girl. Push it up into your pussy.”
She panted as he listened to her move around the apartment and then rustle in the bag. And then she moaned.
Rowen grabbed the front of his jeans to squeeze his dick. He could help Faith get off, but he didn’t intend to masturbate in his bedroom while five of his coworkers sat in his kitchen. “Is it inside you, Faith?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Good girl. Grab the remote.”
He pictured her bending over the bag again to find the small black key fob.
“Got it, Sir.”
“Push the top button three times.” He waited, smiling when she gasped. He remembered that was the highest setting. He hadn’t used it on her last night.
“Sit down somewhere, sweet girl.”
“O-Okay, Sir.”
He waited a few seconds. “Where are you?”
“On the couch, Sir.”
“Good. Now I don’t want you to touch your clit with your fingers. I want you to use the loop of the vibrator. It should be hanging out of your pussy, yeah?”
She panted again. “Rowen…”
Damn. His name on her lips always got to him. She broke form to use it, but he found it impossible to reprimand her. “Use both hands if you want. Put the phone on speaker. Set it somewhere where I can hear you, and flick the loop over your clit until you come.”
Obeying Rowen Page 19
