Her Heart's Surrender

by Allison Merritt

  “I could sing,” Idunna volunteered. “Ask says I have a passable singing voice.”

  Skuld scowled. “Please don’t.” She accepted her sewing basket from Ealasaid. “What did the king have to say about your refusal to leave?”

  “It made him unhappy, but I expected no less. I’m afraid we’ll have to go come daybreak whether or not we have a new jarl or frú. Hella won’t risk having us here when Diarmaid comes.”

  “Is it true he’s your brother?” Idunna settled her sewing in her lap. “I heard the king, before he was king, of course, cut out Diarmaid’s eye when they fought at Suibhne.”

  Ealasaid wished to deny all of it. “He is, although me and Eoghann were closer in age and relationship. I didn’t know they were alive, much less refugees with the Saxons. I may never know how they escaped, but I wish they’d taken me too.”

  “Then we would be enemies.” Idunna frowned. “You wouldn’t be queen.”

  “It’s been more trouble than fun, I’m afraid.” She met Idunna’s gaze. “I’m glad we aren’t enemies.” Gladder still Hella married her. Even a short while with him was better than a lifetime without him.

  “I heard Diarmaid once strangled a bear with his hands.” Idunna traced the stitches in the hood she’d put together. “He wore the pelt as a cloak until it fell apart. Cuthberht took him in because of the way he killed the bear. His strength proved to Ironfist that Diarmaid was worthy of help.”

  “He’s not a man to be admired.” Skuld glared at Idunna. Her knuckles whitened as she grasped the tiny gown. “He’d murder us all without losing sleep. Even his sister.”

  A cold chill climbed up Ealasaid’s spine. The turn in conversation to her brothers didn’t settle around her easily. “How are you feeling?”

  “Nowhere close to expelling a child.” The sweat on Skuld’s face revealed more about her pain than her words.

  “We have plenty of time,” Idunna soothed. “Let me fetch you some water. You’ll work up a thirst.” She rose and placed her sewing on the stool. “Can I get you something to drink, your grace?”

  “Wine, if we have any left.” Although Idunna’s curiosity troubled her, she was glad to have someone else to talk to. It might have been uncomfortable with nothing but Skuld’s dry wit as entertainment.

  “I’ll return shortly.” Idunna slipped between the curtain and the doorframe.

  “Bothersome girl.” Skuld stabbed the gown with her needle. “I cannot imagine what possessed her to remain here when she could be on her way to a safe haven. She assured me three times she’s capable of assisting with childbirth as her mother bore nine children and she was eldest. If I have to listen to any more of her stories, I may stick this needle in my ear.” She gritted her teeth on the last word.

  “You’ll be free of her soon. Once you arrive in Solstad, I’m sure your thralls will be eager to aid you again. Or if they aren’t, you can order them to anyhow.” Thank the gods for favors that didn’t include serving a woman like Skuld.

  “I’m not going to Solstad.” Skuld spoke softly. “I plan to stay. Not even the king’s words will sway me.”

  Ealasaid’s tongue seemed stuck to the roof of her mouth.

  “I told you, I have a sword and I will fight against any traitor who marches on Freysteinn. It means little to me, but this is my children’s home, their legacy. We won’t lose it to a mean-spirited Saxon if I can help it.” Skuld’s face paled, and she sank her teeth into her lower lip as she closed her eyes.

  “Njord will not permit it. Hella will absolutely not allow it.”

  “They’ll be busy.” Her voice was still faint but contained a note of determination. “I asked you before to make sure my son or daughter is taken care of in Solstad. You promised, my queen.”

  “I’m sure I didn’t.” Ealasaid shook her head. “If you won’t think of what your husband and mine have to say, then I forbid you to do anything except leave Freysteinn.”

  “Will you put me to death for disobeying?” Skuld grinned through her pain, a terrible smile that would have frightened their enemies.

  She shook her head again. “I wouldn’t, but you know this is foolish and unacceptable. Your children need you.”

  “The boys have their uncle and this one,” Skuld stroked her stomach, “she’ll be well taken care of by some other loving family. I won’t let your brother take what’s mine. Between you and Idunna, she’ll make it safely to the king’s village.”

  Idunna returned with horn cups. “Wine for my queen, water for my lady, and no news of the enemy.” She stopped at the foot of the bed, puzzlement on her face. “What is it?”

  “Ealasaid doesn’t want me to fight beside my husband. What nobler death is there than the glory of battle?” Skuld bared her wicked grin again.

  “Battle?” Idunna looked between them. “What makes you say such a thing, my lady?”

  Skuld’s face hardened. “I won’t go over it again. I am a Norsewoman, the daughter of a warrior, the wife of a warrior—however soft he’s gotten—and I will die a good death. Let me be useful for something other than producing more vikingrs.”

  Idunna’s lips curled into a disbelieving frown. “First you must bear a child. Alas, the unfairness of the world, getting in the way of a perfectly good battle and a determined female warrior.”

  “Do not mock me, I am your better.” Skuld grunted. “You are small and could be quickly dispatched.” She knotted her hands into the blankets and threw her head back, barely concealing her moan of pain as she clenched her jaw.

  “Caught in the throes of childbirth, I doubt you’d have much will to chase me around the longhouse, my lady.” Idunna laughed. “I’m short, true, but fleet when the need arises.”

  “And hopelessly cheerful.” Ealasaid forced a smile. How did Idunna remain so calm?

  “I have no reason to fear. Ask and many other good, strong men are out there ready to protect us. I’m warm, dry, well-fed, and awaiting the birth of an innocent child. I have no worries.” She handed Ealasaid the horn of wine. “Neither should you. Nothing changes because of dreading a thing.”

  Wise words from a woman roughly the same age as Ealasaid. She was pleased Idunna had come forward because Idunna’s soft voice and cheerful smile made things seem a little better. Skuld wanted the battlefield, and Ealasaid longed for the comfort of her husband’s arms. A smile, no matter how forced, brightened up the room.

  She owed thanks to the gods for not forcing her to endure the uncertainty of the approaching morning alone.

  * * * *

  Ealasaid spent the next few hours pacing with Skuld along the room, drinking more wine, and listening to endless prattle about Idunna’s girlhood in Jutland. When Idunna and Skuld argued their religions, she refused to participate because her heritage varied from the teachings of the Norsemen, despite her acceptance of some of their beliefs.

  As the hours slipped by, bringing darkness, Skuld’s pains deepened. She walked to relieve her pain, but when she took to the bed, Idunna hovered.

  “It’s time,” Idunna said.

  Ealasaid’s neck and back were stiff from leaning against the wall when Skuld rested. They were small problems next to the gripping pains the lady of Freysteinn clearly suffered. Skuld swore through clenched teeth, aiming several vehement curses at Njord and his cock.

  Ealasaid straightened her back. Once the baby arrived, perhaps she could manage a little sleep before they were forced to flee. “Give me a task, Idunna.”

  Idunna gestured at Skuld. “Get behind her, hold her up. She’ll start pushing soon. Lend her your strength, your grace.”

  Ealasaid wedged herself between Skuld and the headboard. She offered her hands for Skuld to hold and winced as Skuld tightened her bony fingers around them. “It will be over soon, and we’ll see this beautiful child you’ve brought to us.”

  “A girl, I hope.” Skuld’s voice came out with a ragged breath.

  “A healthy baby will be welcome, but especially a girl.” She tensed as Skuld
pushed and prayed silently to Frigg all would be well.

  At the foot of the bed, Idunna talked encouragingly in her melodic voice. Skuld gritted her teeth, and her face reddened.

  Ealasaid freed one hand to wipe sweat from Skuld’s face with a damp cloth. The other hand tingled and ached in Skuld’s grip. Was Diarmaid approaching? Their men might have some idea of where the enemy was by now. How much time did it leave her to put distance between them and Freysteinn? Remaining here might have been a mistake. If Skuld’s labor took much longer, Hella would order them to leave. Please let us be on our way soon.

  Skuld alternated between pushing and resting for a while longer. She rolled her eyes at Idunna’s encouragements but didn’t speak much as she strained.

  Ealasaid’s hand lost feeling as Skuld squeezed it during the contractions. Time seemed to crawl and little noise came from outside the room to tell her what, if anything was happening. Weariness danced on her shoulders, and she longed for her own bed.

  Long moments passed before Skuld groaned and pushed. She forced out a breath as Idunna’s face lit up.

  “I have her, my lady. A beautiful girl.” Idunna lifted the little body. “Come here, your grace. Take her for a moment.”

  Ealasaid eased away from Skuld and rounded the bed to hold the crying baby. She picked up a soft linen blanket and cradled the girl while Idunna cut the thick cord and tied it with thread. The baby cried and waved her limbs as though searching for her mother. The tiny red, wrinkled face reminded her of the night Birgir had come into the world just as tiny.

  “She’s stunning, Skuld. Her name?” Ealasaid carried the baby to the new mother.

  “Fulla. Njord will be disappointed he’s missed out on a son.” Skuld beamed as she accepted the bundle. “Or perhaps he’ll fall in love with her.” She drew her finger over Fulla’s cheek. “Oh, sweet thing.”

  “May she grow into a beautiful young woman who brings you much joy and trouble.”

  Skuld laughed, low but happy. “Like her mother.”

  There was no more pleasant sight than a mother with a newborn. Ealasaid would never experience it for herself again. She turned away to get control. Skuld and Idunna didn’t need to know of her personal sorrow. Let them enjoy the moment of happiness because it couldn’t last. Her promise to seek Hella weighed on her. The time to leave drew near.

  Idunna touched her shoulder. “We mustn’t delay. It’s coldest before dawn. I’ll see to it Skuld is fed and then wrap her and Fulla warm and snug before we set out. You’d best inform the king. I’m sure Jarl Njord is waiting anxiously for the news.”

  Ealasaid nodded. “You have my thanks for staying and entertaining us, Idunna. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, you must tell me.”

  Idunna glanced away. “There’s nothing, Queen Ealasaid. My heart is full and satisfied by what we accomplished tonight.”

  “I almost believe you.” Ealasaid hugged her. “Your cheerful songbird actions make you seem carefree, but you’re clear as water. Whatever troubles plague you, I hope they vanish soon.”

  “Thank you, your grace. I hope the same for you. May our king come riding home in victory.” She bowed her head.

  May he never need to set foot outside Hilmir to face our enemy. Ealasaid left the room. Her feet seemed heavy as she stepped into the main hall. Sleeping men piled on every available surface and crowded the floor. None of them were Hella’s brothers or Njord. The fire in the middle of the room crackled with warmth, but the smell of smoke turned her stomach. She didn’t hesitate before she ducked under the curtain to Hella’s room. The covers were undisturbed and cool to the touch. Hella hadn’t slept here.

  A cold chill raised pebbled flesh on her arms and legs. She hurried to the courtyard where a small group of men clustered around a pitiful fire. Shadows danced on Hella’s grim face.

  “The baby?” He tucked his hands beneath his arms. His helmet sat at his feet, facing the fire as though searching the flames for a glimpse of what might come.

  “A girl called Fulla. She’s beautiful and healthy. Skuld is well and very proud.”

  Beside her husband, Njord exhaled, his breath coming out in a plume. “Blessings from the gods.”

  “A good sign for all of us,” Hella agreed. “Bjorn, will you see to the cart? We must clear out the women.”

  “Idunna will prepare something for Skuld to eat. She must keep up her strength in order to feed the baby, and then we’ll go.” Ealasaid wanted to remove Hella’s chainmail and fold herself into the warmth of his body. She jerked her chin at the open blackness beyond Freysteinn. “Is there any news?”

  Hella took her arm and positioned her in front of him, then raised his hand and pointed. “You see the light?”

  Far off, a sparkling orange blur burned in the valley. It couldn’t be mistaken for a star. Dread flushed through her. “Is it—”

  “Diarmaid’s campfire.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hella wrapped his arms around Ealasaid as she slumped against him. A small, strangled noise left her throat.

  He turned her to face him again and held her close. “You can’t wait. Death is roosting in the trees.”

  “I don’t want to leave without you.” She pressed her hands to his face. “Don’t make me go.”

  “Be brave, Ealasaid. There’s no need to give into fear yet. Duty above all. Yours is to return to Solstad and guide Erland in leading our people.” He clasped her tightly. “Think of Birgir. Our son will see you through.”

  He didn’t want to die bathed in his own blood on a hillside in Freysteinn. Not today, not after Ealasaid admitted her love for him. Not when Birgir waited for his return. Diarmaid will not take Solstad. People wouldn’t speak of Hella as the king who lost the north because of a one-eyed Saxon bastard with a taste for Dane blood.

  She shook and her face paled in the firelight. “I don’t think I have the strength, m’lord.”

  “You have the strength you need. I would not have picked you for a wife if you didn’t.” He kissed her forehead. “Tell Birgir I’ll bring him an enemy sword as a gift.”

  “He’ll like that.” Her eyes shined with unshed tears.

  “You have the knife I gave you?” He slipped his hand down her side to the cold metal butt of the hilt.

  “I won’t need it. We’ll be gone before anyone realizes you let three women stay.” She lifted her chin and gave Erik a stiff smile. “Be careful and listen to your advisers, my king.”

  Erik nodded to her. “We’ll return to Solstad before dusk day after tomorrow, my queen.”

  “Go now. Don’t give Frú Skuld reason to snip at you.”

  “May our warriors return safely. I leave them in good hands.” She glanced toward Diarmaid’s camp again and sighed. When she left, Ealasaid held her head up and her shoulders straight. A queen. His queen.

  He wanted to follow her, forget this mess, and take her back into his bed. What kind of ignorant man set out at winter’s cusp to fight when there were warm, willing women to be had?

  The weight of his chainmail threatened to suffocate him. From this vantage point, his men could use longbows to hold them back, but the arrows wouldn’t last forever. Hella’s warriors were an outnumbered group of men better suited as farmers. They wielded their weapons without complication, but not all of them were precise or even well-trained.

  Still, he clung to the faint hope they would overcome Diarmaid. His wife and son depended on it. Much as he desired to beg Thor for mercy, his fate was already carved in stone. But no man desired to end up with his head on a pike.

  “You’re troubled. Best not let the men know. A brave face could win or lose this battle.” Erik folded his arms and kneeled near the small fire and its meager warmth.

  “Should I not be troubled? Two thousand men want my head for something our father did many years ago.” Curse Ingvar and the Kentigern for their failure to bend. If one had been willing to show respect to the other, there wouldn’t be any needless deaths.

&
nbsp; “My blood father died in that battle. Perhaps you’d feel differently if the Bloody Raven had as well. I want Diarmaid to suffer as my father did when they speared him through the gut. It took him two days to die, Hella.” Grief and shadows from the flames sharpened Erik’s features. “I will not forget.”

  Azurr Agmar had been one of Ingvar’s most powerful jarls and confidants. His devotion to the king was the reason Erik was able to call himself Hella’s brother and potential heir to the throne. Azurr had been more of a father to Hella than Ingvar. Watching a man he’d cared for suffer tremendous pain from a battle wound hadn’t been a pleasant thing. Hours before his death, Azurr begged for release from the torture. Hella longed to give it to him but lacked the courage to end his foster father’s life.

  “I won’t forget either, but I don’t want the same fate.” He kneeled on one knee close to the fire. They’d kept it low so it would be difficult to distinguish in the terrain, and it offered little warmth unless one huddled near it. He pitied Skuld and the baby’s trip to the village in this cold.

  “I don’t fear death. I only hope it comes after we’ve laid Diarmaid in the mud churned up by battle.” Erik gripped the hilt of his sword. “For our fathers, for our fallen brothers, for the glory of our people.”

  Hella nodded and wished again for the comfort of his bed and his wife’s body curled next to him. He wanted nothing but to help his people settle in the lands they’d claimed. Glory earned a man nothing but nice words on a runestone time would eventually wear away.

  “I’ll ride out and see if I can learn anything about their camp. All this waiting wears on my nerves.” Erik stood. “If I don’t return, they’ve captured me. Spill their blood in my name.” He clapped Hella’s shoulder then strode into the darkness. Erik possessed a restless streak, and it was surprising he’d remained near Hilmir this long.

  “Go safely, brother,” Hella muttered.

  Dawn leaked pearly colors over the hills. Who knew what bloodshed it would bring? Hella rose and walked back to the hall for a drink. The small pleasures wouldn’t find him on the battlefield. No sense marching into the open with the regret of not quenching his thirst beforehand.