The Good Reaper

by Dennis J Butler

  “I think, no I am sure that I would rather spend my last moments with you. I’ll make sure I don’t fall asleep before you come back. You will come back, won’t you?”

  “Same time as always, about 9:30 PM.”

  “How will it happen? Will the monitors send out an alarm?”

  “Nothing will show up on the monitors until you are asleep and your BP and pulse begin to slip. I’ll leave as soon as I see your BP slipping. I’m sorry this conversation is so clinical and cold.”

  “I understand Joe.”

  Joe’s eyes were watery again. “Remember, when I do leave, I will be leaving my heart here with you. By now you know how I feel.”

  “I know Joe. I’ll take it with me,” Blair said as she tried to smile. “It’s amazing that after all these years, it seems I may have found love just before I leave. But it is better than never finding love at all.”

  “I’m so sorry Blair. But on the other hand, there is something here that we can always cherish. I know I will always keep you in my heart.”

  “If there really is an afterlife, I will look down upon you Joe.”

  There was nothing else that needed to be said. Blair and Joe had shared their innermost feelings. Joe took Blair’s hand and for a few moments they just looked at each other.

  “I’ll be back later this afternoon. I’ll look in on you every chance I get and then I’ll see you later on this evening.”

  Blair’s extended family kept her company all afternoon and into the early evening each day. Although Blair was beginning to feel tired, she forced herself to stay awake and alert. Friday came and as you might expect, it was her mother who knew something was happening. When they all took turns hugging Blair and saying goodnight, Blair’s mother could feel the melancholy. It was mother’s intuition or something. For a brief second, they stared into each other’s eyes and knew. Blair’s mother knew she was not only saying goodnight to Blair, she was saying goodbye. Tears poured down Blair’s mother’s cheeks as she took one last look at Blair before she left the room. It was their secret.

  Blair was dozing in and out when Joe returned at 9:30 PM. “I was hoping you would make it. I’m having a hard time staying awake.”

  Joe pulled a chair up close to the bed and took Blair’s hand. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on the back of Blair’s hand. He kissed her hand and looked up. Blair’s eyes were still open. Joe leaned forward and kissed Blair lightly. As Blair’s eyes began to flutter and close, Joe sat back down. He closed his eyes and he felt like he was dozing off as he rested his forehead on Blair’s hands again. A moment later Joe felt as if he had actually dozed off. He kissed Blair’s hand and looked up. She was asleep. “She was just waiting for me to be here,” Joe mumbled to himself. “Goodbye my dear Blair,” he whispered.

  It would only be a matter of minutes before the monitor set off an alarm for the nurse. Joe stood up, kissed Blair on the forehead and recited the Ranjisan prayer one more time before leaving the room. When he reached the hallway near the elevators he could hear the alarm going off at the nurse’s station.

  8 - LeAnne Pearson

  After almost a year on Earth I had not made any real friends. I had not yet had a date with an Earth woman but that was probably my own fault. I wondered if perhaps I seemed aloof in my constant daydreaming. Perhaps I seemed a bit lost in myself or maybe people were put off by my odd punk/albino look. I had always hoped I would make friends with Earthly punk-rockers, but making friends was difficult and awkward. The only change I had made to my appearance was that my hair grew longer and frizzier. The skin and hair color combined with my pale and almost colorless eyes made me look almost like a human with albinism. I didn’t remember being so antisocial back home but as I thought about it more and more, I realized it wasn’t unusual. I was after all, an alien from another world. It was hard for me to be normal and fit in.

  Once again I daydreamed my way to work the morning after the chat session. I was feeling just a bit of anxiety, knowing that I had crossed the line. I had broken Ranjisi law. I had participated in altering the course of human life. I was involved and potentially a criminal. But with the anxiety came a feeling of accomplishment. I knew I was doing the right thing. We had ended Blair McFadden’s suffering and helped her to spend the last days of life in dignity.

  My supervisor Connie was on the phone when I arrived at work. She gave me a hand signal to let me know she had something to tell me before I set out on my first assignment. One of the Earthly habits I had acquired was a love of coffee. I was ten minutes early so I poured a cup while I waited for Connie to get off the phone. I drank it black.

  “There’s a new patient getting checked in this morning Luke. Can you go down to admissions and wait for her.”

  “Where’s she going?”

  “She’s going to the Weinberg wing on seven.”

  “Terminal?”

  “Sandoval’s team will be treating her for LAMs. Someone must think she has a chance.”

  Connie handed me the admission and transport form:

  LeAnne Pearson

  Age 29

  Transfer to Dr. Sandoval in Weinberg wing on floor seven of west tower.

  The patient and her family were somewhere in the maze of small offices that made up the Admissions Department. I sat and waited, thankful to be off my feet. My legs ached by the end of each day so I welcomed every chance I had to rest my legs. I didn’t get much of a rest. They were far down the end of the long hallway behind the receptionist but I knew it must be her. A worried looking man was pushing a young woman in a wheelchair. The older woman looked more confused than worried. It seemed to be a common theme. The patient looked strong and confident but the people who I assumed were her parents looked distraught.

  The woman in the wheelchair appeared to be about my age. As they came closer I stood up and waited for them. She was wearing a NY Yankees baseball cap. During my time on Earth, I had come to enjoy watching baseball on TV. I can’t say I was really a fan but I enjoyed watching the mental battle between the pitcher and the hitter. The woman who I assumed was LeAnne Pearson had dark circles around her eyes. Her eyes didn’t seem to have much color but I guessed that they were brown. Just below her baseball cap, long feathered earrings hung down almost to her shoulders. It immediately struck me as a sign of defiance and strength. Here was someone who probably knew she was dying and in pain and yet she had the mental strength to make a statement. Her hair was gone but her earrings and her clothing called out to the world around her, “Don’t pity me, fuck this cancer!”

  The second she caught my glance, she seemed to know. The eye contact was intense. It seemed as if she was reading my mind. But I knew it was just my Ranjisi way of wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I hadn’t even met her but she knew I admired her. “LeAnne Pearson?” I asked as they came around the desk and out into the waiting area.

  “Yes, we’re LeAnne’s parents,” LeAnne’s mother answered before LeAnne had a chance to say anything.

  “I’m Luke. I’ll be taking you up to meet some extraordinary people.”

  “So I’ve heard Luke. Will I get to meet this Dr. Sandoval?” LeAnne asked.

  “I’m not sure what his schedule is today but I’m sure he is as anxious to meet you as you are to meet him.”

  I led the way to the elevators and up to the second floor where the windowed footbridge led to the west tower. St. Elizabeth Medical Center was set on one of the few hills in the city. From the footbridge, if you looked west you could see just a glimpse of the Hudson River and New Jersey beyond. I could see that LeAnne was looking intently out toward the Hudson so I stopped for a moment so she could look. LeAnne’s mother kept walking ahead of us for a few steps. “Come on,” she said as she turned around looking impatient and worried. LeAnne turned her head up to look at me. I couldn’t tell if it was a smile or a smirk.

  The Weinberg wing was comprised of the entire seventh floor. When I wheeled LeAnne out of the elevator there was a billboard with a big
welcome sign for LeAnne. Three of the staff hurried over and introduced themselves as RN Cora, CNA Mitchell and PA Collin. I caught LeAnne’s glance again as they wheeled her away. The strong defiant look she had about her when I first met her in the Admissions Office had changed. She seemed somewhat pleading and vulnerable like she was looking for someone to talk to or someone to save her. It dawned on me on my way to the elevator that she may be looking for someone to help make it all end.

  I didn’t see LeAnne again until the following week when I began taking her to and from the IV transfusion room on the fourth floor of the west tower. I was surprised that she remembered my name. “Good morning Luke.”

  “Good morning LeAnne. What do you think of St. Elizabeth so far?”

  “It’s cool. Everyone’s nice. Dr. Sandoval isn’t what I expected.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I expected him to act more like a genius but he’s normal. He’s easy to talk to and he listens.”

  “You can come back in about two hours,” the nurse said as I wheeled LeAnne into the room with all the big blue recliner chairs.

  I finished a few more assignments and arrived back in the IV room early. I assumed LeAnne had fallen asleep listening to music. An earpod was in her right ear and the other one was dangling just below her jaw. The IV was still attached to her hand. I sat in the nurse’s chair alongside her and waited. It was interesting and sad watching all the people coming and going. There were two pregnant women down the other end of the long room. I assumed they were getting injections to prevent anemia. I thought it was probably nothing serious. The other people were older and I assumed their conditions were more serious. “Your back,” I heard the faint sound of LeAnne’s voice as she woke up.

  “How are you feeling LeAnne?” I asked. She seemed drowsy.

  “I feel okay aside from the grogginess.”

  The nurse walked over and looked at LeAnne’s IV for a moment. “She has about another half hour. You can come back if you want.”

  “I’ll wait,” I said. “By the time I get back to the office it will be time to come back here. If they need me they can text me.”

  LeAnne was looking at my hair and appeared to be wide awake. “So Luke, do you play in a band?” LeAnne asked with a genuine unassuming smile. To me it meant that she had no opinion about my punkish look. She neither approved nor disapproved.

  “No but I am learning to play the guitar and the bass. Maybe when I’m good enough I’ll audition for a band.”

  “What kind of music would you play if you could play the guitar?”

  “I like new, progressive alternative rock music,” I said.

  “I figured as such from your hairdo,” LeAnne said. “Have you heard of Dog of the Shepherd?”

  “No, is that who you were listening to?”

  “Yes. At home I listen to heavier bands but in here, I figured something more soft and romantic would help relax me. It worked. I fell asleep.”

  “I understand,” I said. “I have trouble sleeping and I generally have to listen to music for a while before I fall asleep. It seems to turn my brain off so I can drift off. For that I listen to softer bands like Sugar Sand and they relax me.”

  “I do the same thing with Sugar Sand and some other new soft-rock bands.”

  LeAnne looked at me with a half-smile. It was an odd and unique thing for two people to have in common. I hardly knew LeAnne but I felt a brief emotional connection. I hadn’t actually felt any feelings for another person since Eli died. It seemed we shared a moment of emotional connection. I felt as if we could become friends but I also knew I didn’t want to become emotionally attached to someone who was dying. Our moment of emotional connection was broken when the nurse came over and disconnected the IV injection from LeAnne. “You’re all done for today. See you back here Thursday morning.”

  When I arrived at LeAnne’s room Thursday morning she was ready and waiting in her wheelchair. I got the immediate impression that she was not looking forward to the treatment she was about to undergo. We talked about rock music on the way to the IV room. “Who are you going to listen to today?” I asked.

  “Retro-Leech Band.”

  “Doesn’t sound like a band that will put you to sleep.”

  “Hardly. Do you ever feel angry like you hate the world?”

  “Well I never did before, but recently I have been relating to bands like Noose Carnival. I’m not sure why.”

  “There are a lot of things to be angry or frustrated about, like the fact that this treatment I’m getting costs over $100,000. How is that even legal?”

  “You don’t have to pay for it, do you?”

  “No. It’s kind of a gift. I think the money comes from some foundation but how is it justified that it costs that much?” LeAnne asked. “What do people do who can’t afford it if they are turned down for financial assistance?”

  “I don’t know LeAnne. It seems that many things are wrong and upside down here.”

  “You mean ‘here’ like in America?”

  LeAnne caught me off guard. Of course I was thinking in terms of “here” being Earth. “Yes, here in America. Is it the same in other countries?”

  “No. I think they have limits on medical costs in other countries.”

  LeAnne and I had stumbled upon a few things we had in common. “Are you a political activist too Luke or just a quiet rebel?” LeAnne said with a slight giggle.

  “I guess I’m just a quiet rebel. I don’t belong to any organizations and I’m not really that politically knowledgeable.”

  “I thought you were a rebel the first time I saw you. I guess it’s your hair. I like it. If I ever get better, I’m going to become a punk. I’m going to get piercings and tattoos and dye my hair different colors. But of course we know that’s not going to happen. I’m just going to suffer in pain while they experiment on me, until I finally die.”

  “I’m so sorry LeAnne. But we can’t lose hope. Hope is the only thing we have.” LeAnne knew that I meant it. I thought she could hear the genuine sadness in my voice. But it was much more than she knew. I was thinking about not only Tseen Ke but also about the simple cell therapy back on Ranjisan that would cure LeAnne’s condition. LeAnne and I continued to talk while waiting for the nurse to connect her to the IV.

  “For a while there it seemed like I might get better. At least the condition was stable and not getting any worse. But then everything changed suddenly.”

  “Do they have any idea why things changed suddenly?” I asked.

  “They don’t, but I do.”

  LeAnne turned her head away from me. She seemed to be just staring at the ceiling but I could tell she was deep in thought. “Let me ask you something Luke. Do you believe in UFOs?”

  LeAnne had caught me off guard again. My heart began racing and I felt a short sudden sharp pain in my abdomen like someone was poking me with a sharp needle. I was speechless for a moment. “I have no reason not to believe in them. I’ve never actually seen one but there is no proof that they don’t exist. Does this have something to do with your condition?”

  LeAnne held up her index finger to let me know she had to relax a moment and catch her breath. “I was scanned by aliens. A few weeks later my condition took a nosedive. I’m thinking whatever those beings did to me also did something to the cells in and around my lungs. I know it sounds insane, but it’s the truth.”

  “What exactly did they do? Did they abduct you?”

  “One night we saw the ship just beyond the mountain behind our house. It just hovered around slowly and then sped off. The second time it came, I was sitting outside in the backyard. It hovered in the air about forty feet above me and the next thing I knew they shined a light beam on me. It was like a laser beam except that the space inside the beam almost appeared to be a liquid or gas. There were what looked like bubbles floating around in it and yet I could breathe. I didn’t feel anything but I was unable to move.”

  “What did the ship look like?”r />
  “It looked like the typical craft you see on those UFO documentaries. It was saucer shaped.”

  At that point I knew it was us. The weird beings from the galaxy humans refer to as Andromeda don’t have saucer shaped ships. I also knew LeAnne was wrong. The aerial scanning we do is non-invasive and is basically just imaging. It couldn’t possibly affect her cells. I wanted to say something positive but I knew I had to be careful what I said. “From what I’ve read, UFO’s are just observing us. I don’t think they do anything that harms humans.”

  The conversation about UFOs and aliens hit too close to home. It was awkward and I was afraid I would make a mistake and say something stupid. I was anxious for the nurse to rescue me.

  I breathed a mental sigh of relief when I saw the nurse approaching us. “Okay LeAnne. Let’s get you started.”

  9 - My first Tseen Ke

  I saw LeAnne three or four times a week for the next three weeks. LeAnne talked about her childhood, growing up in the mountainous area in upstate New York. She talked about hunting and fishing with her brother and dad as I listened intently. One day when I walked in, she had a stack of photo albums sitting on her bed tray. “Here’s the way I used to look Luke,” she said as she opened one of the photo albums to show me.

  “Hot, very hot,” I said. “But you are still hot, even with the baseball cap.” LeAnne smiled with just a hint of a smirk.

  LeAnne had a story for every picture in her photo albums. It was both joyous and devastatingly sad to look at the photos of when she was happy and healthy. It seemed to take her mind off her condition to talk about the good times of her life. I was happy to listen and thankful she didn’t ask me too many questions about my life, at least for the first couple of weeks. But I knew it was just a matter of time before normal curiosity bubbled up to the surface. The questions about me finally began, a little at a time. “So Luke, were you brought up in the Midwest or maybe upstate like me? You don’t have much of a NY accent. You know all about me but I don’t know much about you. Do you have family here?”