Recovered Love

by Chrissy Snyder

I’m fucking livid. I just watched my heart drive away in a little yellow cab. I’m going to fucking kill Kelly. That stupid bitch has fucked with me one too many times, and I’m not putting up with her shit. Poor Savannah must have been in shock to hear all the shit Kelly was shoveling, and she’s too sweet and kind to understand that Kelly is a snake, slithering in the grass, just waiting and watching for the perfect opportunity to strike. I march back into the house and straight to the living room, where she is sitting and paging through a magazine as if nothing’s happened.

  “What the fuck, Kelly?” I roar. I see her smirking at me, “We are over, and why the hell would you say we’re engaged?” I watch in disbelief, as she stands up and runs her hands up my biceps.

  “Baby, c’mon,” she purrs, “you know you don’t want to be over. Please, take me back, it’ll be like we were never apart.”

  I’m sure my chin is on the ground, “Get the fuck out,” I bite out, “You’re nothing to me, and never will be. I would sooner cut off my dick then get back together with you,” I shout at her.

  “But Reid,” she whines.

  “Stop,” I interrupt her, “You’re making yourself look really pathetic right now. Just turn the fuck around and get the fuck out of my house. I don’t ever want to see you again,” I finish with my arms crossed over my chest. I can see the wheels turning in her head, but she must see the resolve in my face.

  “We were good once, you can’t deny that. You’ll regret giving me up. You’ll see.”

  She grabs her purse in a huff and stomps to the front door, slamming it behind her. Good riddance, I think. I turn around to see Deacon and Carter. I have no idea how long they were standing there, but from the look on their faces I would bet they saw the whole thing. Not a one of us could ever hurt a woman, or mistreat her, but I think Kelly could be the exception to that. She didn’t just hurt me, she hurt all three of us.

  I don’t care about any of that right now. I need to get a hold of Savannah, make sure she is safe and explain everything to her. I can’t go another minute with her not knowing the truth. I didn’t even tell her how much I love her, and that she means everything to me. I have to bring her back here, her parents place isn’t secure and I dread the thought of her being captured again. I know there is something that we’ve missed with this case, some small detail that we haven’t put together, I just wish I knew what it is. I don’t want to take any chances, not with Savannah’s life.

  I pick up the phone to call Savannah, but it keeps going to voicemail. She’s hurting so she’ll likely ignore me. I get it, but it pisses me off. She’ll get a spanking when I get my hands on her. She shouldn’t have run out on me, without letting me explain. When I’m done throwing her over my knees, she’ll know not to misbehave again.

  I need to go out and get her, explain everything. I ask Deacon and Carter to stay on call in the event that I need them. I know they won’t let me down. I grab my keys and wallet and jog down the drive to my truck. The drive doesn’t take me long, about fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes of pure turmoil. I can’t believe Kelly would fuck me over like that.

  I arrive at D.A. Peters’ home and ring the bell. He opens the door and arches his brow when he sees me at the door. I can see he isn’t going to make this easy for me. “To what do I owe this pleasure,” he drawls. Yup, definitely going to make me grovel for breaking his daughter’s heart. If that’s what he needs, me on my knees and begging, then I’ll do it. Anything for Savannah. Where should I start? I wipe my wet, sweaty hands on my pants, a sign that I’m nervous

  “Sir, I’m here to right a wrong,” I say. “Your daughter left believing something about me that is very incorrect.” He nods, crosses his arms over his chest and looks at me to continue. “My ex-girlfriend came to my door and told Savannah she is my fiancé. She was never my fiancé, only a girlfriend, but we’ve been apart for years now, and I honestly can’t tell you why she would come around and think she could act the way she did.” He still isn’t giving an inch, so I continue. “I don’t want that woman, I never have, but I want your daughter, very much,” I tell him with conviction. “You see, she owns my heart, and in the short time I’ve been around her, she’s come to mean everything to me. Please sir, may I speak with her?” I finish in a rush, my hands clammy, hoping he’ll let me see Savannah so I can tell her how I feel and so I can hold her. I turn and see Mrs. Peters standing in the doorway. I’m not sure how long she’s been there, but judging by the look on her face and the way she holds her hand over hear heart, I’d say she’s been there the entire time.

  She smiles at me and looks to her husband, “Oh let the poor boy go see her,” she says, winking at me.

  “Alright fine, my wife seems to think I should give you another chance so that’s what I’ll do. Mark my words; if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll make you hurt.”

  “Yes sir, understood.”

  “Go on up dear,” Mrs. Peters says.

  Her bedroom is the third door on the right at the end of the hallway on the second level. I’m smiling as I walk down the hall, excited I’ll have my girl in my arms in no time, but first, the spanking, and I’ll make sure she enjoys every little swat. I push the door open with a big smile, ready to say “surprise,” when I notice there isn’t anybody in the room. Not only is the room empty, but the windows are open and there are obvious signs of struggle. I shake my head in disbelief, no, no, no. Oh my God. She can’t be gone. Fuck me, what will I do?

  I shout for her parents and they came running in a panic. I ask her dad to pull all of his staff and have them ready to meet with me in the next 10 minutes while I text Deacon and Carter and ask them to get here as fast as they can. I approach her bed, and notice it’s wet. I think it’s odd, so I smell it and it is urine. Oh my baby pissed herself, she must be terrified, and I rub a hand over my chest and stand there, shaking in rage. I’m about to leave her room when a piece of paper catches my eye.

  YOU CAN’T KEEP ME AWAY. I’M EVERYWHERE.

  I KNEW YOU WOULD SLIP UP AND MAKE A MISTAKE. AND I WAITED. PATIENTLY. SHE IS MINE, AND YOU’RE NEVER GETTING HER BACK.

  WELL. . . . MAYBE IN PIECES.

  Mrs. Peters starts screaming and won’t stop, and I can’t blame her. I feel sick to my stomach. I failed her.

  I don’t know if we can find her. I won’t give up, I’ll die trying.

  I was lying in bed in my old room at my parents place, just looking through the photos of Reid when suddenly my window opens. I was startled and confused, I’m on the second floor so how the hell does someone get up there without calling notice to themselves? All of this happens quickly, too quickly for me to react or run. Truth is, I’m frozen in fear. Have you ever had a nightmare, where you’re frozen, or try to run but you can’t? Well I’m living it and I’m pissed off at myself for not fighting back or running. It’s like my body knows it’s been defeated. He cackles, as I whimper and pee myself as he yanks me to my feet, his grip like an iron vice around my arm. Like last time, he’s wearing a ski mask and all I can see are his eyes and mouth. I’m certain it’s the same guy as last time, same creepy smile, same everything. I think. Please, please, someone come and save me. Oh God, I can’t do this, please. I need you Reid, I never told you I love you. Oh God, this is it.

  I need to stop thinking this way, and instead think of a way that I can get away, or outsmart him. Maybe I’ll get a chance to run, and if I do, I need to take it, no matter what. What have I got to lose? He grabs me and wraps his arms around me, like he’s hugging me. I don’t know what to do with my arms, but maybe I should pretend to hug him back and try to take his wallet out and drop it on the ground, as a clue for someone. Only I’m no pickpocket, and I guess I’m not subtle, and now I’ve poked the bear. Oh shit. I watch as if in slow motion as his fist shoots out and strikes me in the face. It feels as if my entire jaw crunches, but I’m able to move it so it’s definitely not broken. He continues hitting and punching me as I try to fight back and pull at the mask, almost succeeding in ripping
it off of his face. I yank at his hair and try to poke his eyes and he screams in rage when I’m able to pull out large clumps. I’ve been screaming and so has he, but no one comes to my aid. The house is too large for anyone to even notice.

  He grabs my arms, “Let’s go bitch,” he bites out. My hands are cuffed in front of my body, and he pulls me towards the window, pushing me out to the ladder that is leaning there. He climbs out first, then yanks on my chain, pulling me out with him. I’m terrified of heights, and frantically reach for the ladder, but it’s difficult with my hands being cuffed together. We finally make it to the ground level and he drags me to the back of his van. It’s parked in the back where all our deliveries are sent. He shoves me in, head first and secures my wrists in the hook on the floor.

  My breathing is out of control and panic setting in, I know where I’m going, and I know what’s to come. I don’t think I can survive it again. I wasn’t meant to survive it the first time around either, it was just sheer luck I made it out of there. I had been given a bit more time, a gift if you will, to meet Reid and fall in love for the very first time. I’m going to hold onto that, no matter what I’m facing. I pull out every memory I have of Reid, minute by minute. How I wish I hadn’t been impetuous and run away like I had. I’m twenty-two, an adult, and I wish I had acted as one. My only excuse being that I don’t know how relationships work, I’ve never been in one, but even I know that’s an excuse and not a good one either.

  I try to breathe deeply and calmly, but it’s hard knowing I’m going towards my imminent death. A torturous, horrid death. This man beat me and tortured me for his pure enjoyment, and I know he’ll do it again. The van comes to a stop and my body starts shaking almost violently. He yanks on my feet and slides my body out of the van, pulling me to a standing position. I take a look around and almost weep.

  I’m surprised that we’re right back where we were before. Does he not think people will check here first? I only hope that because of his stupidity, I’ll be found sooner than later. I’m going to hold onto that hope, that somehow because of this I’ll be found.

  I’m dumped back into my corner of the living room, my hands hooked to the floor. Like my first time here, I cringe and shiver at the way the floor is moving, that’s how many roaches there are. They are literally climbing all over each other’s bodies. I gag, my legs kicking out frantically, pushing their hard crunchy shelled bodies away from me sure that there are more here now than there were two weeks ago.

  My captor is walking back and forth, “You’ve caused me nothing but trouble, Bitch,” he spits out, no stutter evident. “My brother was supposed to off you, but he obviously can’t be trusted, so I’m going to punish him right along with you,” he continues. “All this because you deemed yourself too good to go out with me,” he says pulling off his face mask. “Bet you’re sorry now eh? Well you and that stupid, stuttering idiot can go to your deaths together.” All of this because of that one coffee date that went badly? I’m glad I trusted my judgment and got the hell out of there, not that it’s doing me any good now, I think to myself. I watch in horror as he continues his rant. “Maybe I’ll forgive him, and keep him around. I can use him to get my next girl, because I kind of like the game we’ve been playing,” he says chuckling, “Don’t you?”

  Oh God he’s a psychopath. I can’t do this, please, please. I don’t move or say a word. It all makes sense now, the differences I noticed in my captor during my first stay here. I thought it odd that one day he was strong and decisive, and another time he stuttered. The one so in control the other, mentally ill, a pawn, but it’s all coming together now. In fact, I think I remember seeing my captor at the shelter during my volunteer hours, and this guy was with him on occasion. What a total dick. He lets his brother eat out of garbage cans and sleep in shelters instead of helping him, I think. I hope I don’t let the revulsion show on my face. Any little thing can set this guy off, but what I know now doesn’t matter, it’s not going to help me any. I won’t go down without a fight and if I thought begging would work, I’ll do that too. I will do whatever it takes to get away from this man.

  “Please, don’t take the dating thing personally,” I say to him, “I don’t date, not even in high school. I didn’t go to my prom, or any of the school dances because I’m not ready to date. Please, just let me go, I won’t tell a soul,” I beg him, “I just want to be back at home with my mom and dad, no one even needs to know I’m gone.”

  He looks at me with a huge smirk on his face, “I left a nice little note for your parents to find,” he says chuckling. “I’m sure they’ve found it by now. You’re pathetic, if you think I’m going to let you go. I plan to finish what my brother didn’t,” he says with finality.

  His cruelty knows no bounds when he goes on to say, “I’m going to fuck you. Your pussy, your face and your ass,” he laughs hysterically, “What do you think your boyfriend will think? Should I bring him here, so he can watch the show?” He asks this while clapping his hands.

  I don’t want to hurt Reid, he deserves so much more. I shake my head, “He’s not my boyfriend. I ran away, that’s why I was with my parents, we’re not together.” I hope he believes me, it is the truth after all.

  All I’ve done is anger him and he strikes out at me, hitting me in the face, over and over again. His face is red with rage and he’s screaming that I’m a liar, as spit flies out of his mouth. I don’t know how to make it stop, to make him stop, so I curl up in the fetal position and cover my head, but it’s no use.

  I try to hold back, to keep from crying out, but I can’t do it. I grunt and shout with each punch, slap and kick. He’s not just using his fists, he’s using his feet now too as he kicks me in the kidneys. The pain is so severe that I pee myself, the hot urine running down my legs. The smell of blood and piss, hangs heavy in the air. I can’t see through my left eye and my right eye is no better. He pulls out a large knife, and uses the sharp blade to pierce the skin on my arms, legs and belly. It’s evident he’s very comfortable with a knife in his hand as I think, he’s done this before. I know I’m not going to survive the night. Once he’s done toying with me, it will all be over. I can only hope that it will be quick, and if not quick, that I pass out.

  He slices the clothes from my back, leaving large cuts all over my body, blood running in rivulets. I’m covered in large, ragged cuts, some deeper than others. I groan loudly, unable to help myself. I want to beg for my life, but I know he won’t give it to me. I want to beg him for mercy, and that too he won’t give to me. He’s just getting started, and I hope I can stomach it all, until the end.

  All I can think of is the end, where I’ll be free from this pain and from this crazy man. I don’t know how long he beats and cuts me, but finally the time has come. He’s breathing heavily while sweat runs in rivulets down his face. He’s so red, from anger and exertion. I lower my eyes and then whimper when he stands behind me. I can’t see him and I’m afraid. Suddenly he thrusts one of his hands in my hair gripping tightly, yanking my head back and exposing my neck for his sharp blade. With my head bent backwards that far I can see his face as it hangs above me as I shiver in revulsion.

  I don’t want my ending to be about him, and what he is doing to me, or the memory of his face so I close my eyes and breathe deeply.

  I want my end to be about my memories of Reid, and how he held me in his arms, or the way he would call me “Peanut.” I think of all the wonderful dates he planned, from movie night, to roller blading and especially the prom. The tears are running freely, my eyes remain closed as I picture Reid’s face as he sleeps. My only regret is that I hadn’t told Reid that I love him, so I do it now even though he isn’t here to hear me. Maybe somehow or other, the universe will let him know just how much he means to me. Whether he knows or not is irrelevant, but I will know that I’ve said the words out loud.

  Leaving my eyes closed, I take a deep breath and let it out softly, “Good-bye Reid, I love you,” I whisper with finality.

>   Does crazy mean stupid? I sure as fuck hope so because Deacon, Carter and I are headed back to where we had found Savannah last time. I’m desperate, but it’s worth a try. When I went through the background check we found out that Andrew Randall has a brother who is mentally ill. Andrew has been in trouble with the law on several occasions and each and every time he’s been caught it’s because he’s been stupid. Dr.’s at one facility had done testing on him as well as his brother and labelled him a psychopath, but also noting he thinks he’s much smarter than he really is. He’d always struggled with friendships and from as far back as grade school he would bully other kids to get his way. Based on all of that, it’s possible he’s brought her back to the place she was before.

  We don’t have much to go on so this is our one shot. Maybe the police missed something when they combed through it for evidence and even if he’s not there, it will reveal something to us that will help us. I’m anxious, hoping that I’ll find my girl there. She’s everything to me and I’ll tell her as soon as I lay my eyes on her. If I get this chance, I’ll make sure to tell her for the rest of our lives.

  In the meantime, our staff is going through every single one of D.A. Peters’ employees. One of them played a big part in this, and once we find out who it is, they’ll wish they hadn’t fucked with me. I know for a fact that Deacon and Carter would help me hide the body.

  We park at the end of the street and kill the lights. Our training kicks in, and we quietly blend into the shadows, breathing low and slow. The house is dark, except for a bit of light coming through the heavy curtains. I take the front entrance, with Deacon and Carter going around back. We’re communicating through our earpieces, speaking only when necessary. I can feel my heart pounding, and my ears are buzzing. My hands are sweaty, I can barely hold the gun in my shaking hands. I need to pull it together, for Savannah.

  We’re about to break down the door when all the hair on my body stands on end. I don’t know if it’s divine intervention, but something is telling me to get in there, and to get in there, NOW. I signal the boys and proceed to boot the door in, at the same time Deacon breaches the back door. We find Savannah naked and bloody, in the corner of the room and a man is standing behind her with her head yanked back and a knife at her throat. I don’t think she’s here with us, her eyes are closed tightly and she hasn’t noticed that we’re there. I hear her whisper, “Good-bye Reid, I love you,” and it breaks my heart.