by Kate Hardy
‘OK.’ He took her hand and squeezed it briefly. ‘Thank you. You’re being very patient with me.’
‘I’m a doctor, not a patient,’ she quipped lightly. ‘And, for that matter, so are you.’
He groaned. ‘That’s terrible, but you know what I meant. I appreciate what you’re doing for me.’
‘You’re doing just as much for me, actually. This means I have someone different to drag out to all the Christmassy things I love doing and my family and friends have had more than enough of,’ she said with a smile. ‘Plus I have my eye on the big prize.’
‘What prize?’ He looked mystified.
‘You wearing that red suit on Christmas Day—because, apart from the fact that I haven’t managed to source a voice-changer yet, what if it fell off while I was walking through the ward, or my beard fell off to reveal it? I really don’t want to be responsible for making a whole ward of sick children find out the hard way that Father Christmas isn’t real.’
And then she regretted it when he looked even more panicky.
‘Sorry. I’m bulldozing you again. Ignore me. Let’s skate.’
They queued up to hire skates, changed into them, and started to make their way round the rink.
‘You’re much better at skating than you are at bowling,’ Jamie said to her.
She laughed. ‘That’s not exactly hard! But skating is just sliding one foot in front of the other. It’s easier than having to aim for something and trying to hit it. And if you think I’m bad at bowling, you should see me at archery. Everyone dives for cover.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘So are you going to start doing all these spins and jumps and things?’
‘Two letters. That’s N and O, in exactly that order,’ he said.
But at least he was smiling and starting to relax, she thought.
* * *
Skating on an ice rink.
Jamie hadn’t done this in years. Hestia had always avoided skating, not wanting to risk slipping over on the ice and breaking an ankle; teaching ballet wasn’t exactly something you could do easily while wearing a fracture boot. So he hadn’t bothered either. But once he was used to the motion again, he found himself enjoying it.
Part of him was on edge, waiting for Hestia’s favourite song to start playing and haunt him, but he forced himself to smile because he didn’t want Anna to feel bad. She was trying so hard to help him, and he appreciated that she was trying to take the sting out of the festive season for him. And she clearly loved being out here on the rink, in the middle of the crowd among all the lights and with cheerful Christmas pop songs belting out.
All they needed now was for it to snow. Not the stuff that would settle and make all the pavements slippery enough to cause mayhem, but a few light, fluffy flakes that melted when they touched the ground, making the rink magical. And how weird was it that the idea actually appealed to him?
Then he realised that a child just in front of them was down on the ice, crying. He took Anna’s hand and gestured over to the little boy. ‘I think we should go and offer some help.’
She nodded, and they skated over.
‘I’m Jamie and this is Anna. Can we help?’ Jamie asked the little boy’s mother.
She looked grateful. ‘Thank you. I need to get him back on his feet before someone skates into him.’
Jamie helped her pick him up, but the little boy wouldn’t stop crying. He was holding his arm, not letting anyone touch it. And Jamie had the strongest feeling he knew what had just happened.
‘I’m a doctor,’ he said gently. ‘Can I have a look at your arm?’
The little boy shook his head.
‘What’s his name?’ Anna asked.
‘Adeoye—Ade for short,’ the boy’s mum said.
‘Ade, does it hurt here?’ Jamie asked, pointing to his own wrist.
Ade nodded, still sobbing.
‘When you slipped over,’ Jamie said, ‘did you put your hands down first to stop yourself falling flat on your face?’
Ade nodded, but this time he spoke, his voice almost hiccupping through the tears. ‘It really hurts.’
Jamie could see that the boy’s wrist was an odd shape and, given what Ade had just told him, he was pretty sure it was a Colles’ fracture. ‘Does it feel tingly or numb?
Ade shook his head.
That was a good sign. ‘Do you feel dizzy or sick?’
‘A bit,’ Ade admitted.
‘OK. That’s probably the shock of falling.’ Jamie turned to Ade’s mother. ‘I think he’s broken his wrist—it’s a special kind of fracture called a Colles’ fracture.’
‘It’s really common when someone falls over onto an outstretched hand,’ Anna said. ‘We see a lot of them at the hospital when it’s icy.’
‘I can’t do anything to help you here, because Ade will need an X-ray to check whether any of the bones need manipulating back into place before they put the cast on,’ Jamie said. ‘If you take him to the emergency department now, they’ll do an X-ray and put a back slab on to keep his wrist stable overnight, then they’ll probably put a lightweight cast on tomorrow morning.’ He smiled at her. ‘I’m an orthopaedic surgeon, for children, so I do a lot of this sort of thing.’
Ade’s mother bit her lip. ‘Will he be in a cast for long? He’s got the school Christmas concert in a couple of weeks.’
‘I’m sure they won’t mind him being in a cast,’ Anna said, ‘and at least you’ll have time to alter any costumes around the cast, if you need to.’
‘If it’s a straightforward fracture,’ Jamie said, ‘he’ll have a cast on for four to six weeks, and then he’ll need to do exercises every day to get his wrist properly mobile again.’
‘I’d better get him to hospital,’ she said.
‘St Thomas’ is the nearest emergency department to here,’ Jamie said. ‘I worked there for a bit. They’re really nice. It’s about ten minutes from here in a taxi and twenty on foot.’
Ade’s mother looked at her son, who was still guarding his arm. ‘I’ll call a taxi now.’
‘We’ll help Ade with his skates while you make the call,’ Anna said, ‘and we’ll wait with you until the taxi gets here.’
She was a natural with children, Jamie thought, telling the boy a stream of terrible jokes to distract him from the pain and even managing to make him laugh. Ade’s mother thanked them when the taxi arrived, and then Anna looked at Jamie. ‘Review time, then. Stop now, or have another skate?’
There was a hopeful look on her face, and he was pretty sure which one she’d choose. ‘Another skate,’ he said. ‘And then I’m guessing it’s hot chocolate?’
‘That sounds utterly perfect,’ she said, smiling at him.
And how crazy was it that his heart suddenly felt as if it had done a backflip?
This wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t part of their deal. They were colleagues, sort of on the way to becoming temporary friends. They weren’t supposed to get close and personal.
She was the first woman since Hestia to make him feel like that. Her warmth and her huge, huge heart just drew him. Yet, at the same time, he was pretty sure that Anna was hiding some deep sadness in her own past. She deserved more than he could give her. So he forced himself to keep things light.
Until the moment when she stumbled and he caught her so she didn’t fall.
She looked up at him, those beautiful sea-green eyes wide and her lips very slightly parted.
And he knew then that it would be, oh, so easy to dip his head slightly. Brush his mouth against hers. Wrap his arms round her, and then deepen the kiss until they were both dizzy...
Was it his imagination, or was she staring at his lips, the way he was staring at hers? Did she feel the same thing? Did she want him to kiss her?
His tongue felt as if it had been glued to the roof of his mouth. He couldn’t say anythin
g, do anything but try to resist this insane urge to kiss her.
But if he didn’t resist... What then? Would she kiss him back?
He could hardly breathe.
Could he?
Should he?
And then she said, ‘Thank you for saving me.’
Her voice broke the spell and brought his common sense back into play. No. Of course he shouldn’t kiss her. He needed to be sensible.
‘You’re welcome,’ he said. ‘More skating?’
At least if he had to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, he wouldn’t be thinking about how it would feel to kiss her. How her skin would feel against his. How she was tall enough to be a perfect fit in his arms...
‘More skating,’ she said.
He didn’t dare glance at her expression to find out if she looked relieved or disappointed. Kissing was absolutely not an option. This wasn’t a date.
He just needed to concentrate on his footwork and the music. So far, he’d been lucky and they hadn’t played That Song. Hopefully they’d already played it enough times earlier in the evening. Two more songs, and he’d suggest they get hot chocolate and leave.
* * *
Anna knew she was really making an idiot of herself. Fancy almost falling at Jamie’s feet, like the poor little boy who’d slipped over earlier.
And then, when he’d grabbed her to steady her, it had felt as if she’d been galvanised.
Propinquity, that was what it was. Or maybe the bright lights dazzling her, the magical feel of the skating rink taking her out of the real world and letting her see the possibilities. Tempting her to do something that really wouldn’t be sensible in real life.
For a moment, she’d found herself staring at his mouth and wondering what it would be like if he kissed her. How soft and teasing and inviting his mouth would be. How it would feel to have his arms wrapped round her, holding her close to him.
But that wasn’t the deal.
She was supposed to be making him feel better about Christmas, showing him the good side of the season and taking the sting out of whatever had hurt him in the past, not flinging herself at the poor man and embarrassing both of them. He’d made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t in the market for a relationship, and neither was she. She needed to focus on skating. Skating, not kissing. She repeated the mantra to herself half a dozen times, hoping that somehow it would stick in her head. Skating, not kissing. Skating, not kissing...
But all the time she found herself very aware of him. The space he took up. His height. His dark good looks, those gorgeous cornflower-blue eyes, that shy and so-rare smile.
Get a grip, Anna, she told herself crossly. This isn’t a date. Stop thinking about the what-ifs, because there aren’t any.
Two more songs and they’d leave.
They went round and round the skating rink, and she couldn’t help noticing how the other couples there were skating hand in hand, how the more confident ones stopped and spun their partner round into their arms and kissed them despite no mistletoe being in evidence.
She wasn’t meant to be noticing the kissing.
Concentrate on the skating, she told herself fiercely. Even if it was driving her slightly crazy.
Maybe she needed some hot chocolate, a sugar rush to stop her thinking about the sweetness of his mouth. So, when the second song ended, she said, ‘I’m done. Time for hot chocolate, I think.’
‘Great idea,’ he said.
Except, when they were in the queue, someone bumped into them and Jamie ended up with his arms around her to protect her.
And all of a sudden there wasn’t enough air. Despite the fact that they were outside and had the whole of London around them, there just wasn’t enough air to suck into her lungs.
She made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and it looked as if it was the same for him because his pupils were absolutely enormous.
It isn’t because of you, she told herself sharply. It’s a physiological reaction to a low light area, that’s all.
Except the lights weren’t really that low. It was actually really, really bright in the courtyard, so anatomically speaking his pupils should be tiny.
The fact that they weren’t made her heart skip a beat.
Was he going to kiss her?
On the skating rink, it would’ve been much too dangerous. Too easy for either or both of them to slip and fall. But here—here, they were on solid, unslippery ground.
Except it felt way more slippery than the rink.
If he kissed her, and she kissed him back... What then?
Right at that moment, she couldn’t move. They were in the queue, pressed together, with his arms around her and his face really close to hers. Had she been five inches shorter, it wouldn’t have been an issue. But their lips were well within kissing distance, and Anna really didn’t know what to do.
It was the first time she’d actually wanted to kiss anyone since Johnny.
And, OK, she knew that kissing didn’t necessarily mean anything. But she had a nasty feeling that, if she let him, Jamie Thurston could steal her heart. And she dared not risk that. It had taken her too long to put herself back together after Johnny. She wasn’t looking for another relationship. Not even a temporary fling. Anna Maskell wasn’t a fling kind of girl.
How could she move out of his arms without making a fuss and embarrassing both of them? Worse still, would he guess that she was moving away from him precisely because she wanted him to kiss her and this whole thing was driving her crazy?
She was saved by the waitress at the hatch asking, ‘What can I get you?’
The people in front of them took their own drinks from the counter and left, giving her space to move away from Jamie, and he said, ‘Two hot chocolates, please.’ He sounded cool and calm, not as if they’d been seconds away from kissing each other dizzy in public.
The space helped, but it wasn’t quite enough to stop Anna feeling like a teenager standing next to her crush at a high school disco. And she wasn’t wearing ice skates any more, so she couldn’t use her skating, not kissing mantra.
Somehow she managed to make light, fluffy conversation about skating and Christmas trees and decorations while they sat on one of the benches and drank their hot chocolate and watched the skaters, and then they headed back to Muswell Hill. The tube was too noisy for them to talk, giving her time to think, and on the way home Anna came to a decision. She knew how to neutralise the attraction now: she’d treat him in exactly the same way that she did her other male friends, so at the station she’d kiss him on the cheek, smile and say goodbye.
Except then Jamie offered to walk her home. She thought it would be a bit churlish to refuse, given that they were going the same way.
At her garden gate, she took a deep breath. Polite, she reminded herself. Pretend he’s just like any other male colleague. ‘You’re very welcome to come in for a coffee or a glass of wine or something.’
Something? Oh, no. Please don’t let him interpret that as her being like a teenager and talking in code for ‘come in and snog me witless’.
To her relief—mingled with disappointment, if she was honest with herself—he said, ‘Thanks, but I’d better be going.’
‘OK. Thanks for coming skating tonight.’ She paused. ‘I hope it wasn’t too difficult.’ This whole thing was meant to be about helping him, not about her making a fool of herself and starting to want things she couldn’t have.
‘No. It was fun.’ He looked surprised, as if he hadn’t expected to enjoy it. ‘Thank you for organising it.’
‘No problem. See you at work tomorrow.’ She stepped forward, intending to kiss him on the cheek; but somehow everything got a bit tangled and she ended up kissing him on the mouth instead. And her lips tingled, every nerve-end reacting to the touch of his skin.
* * *
Anna
Maskell had a huge heart. She was warm and affectionate, the sort of person who kissed everyone, and it didn’t mean anything, Jamie reminded himself.
Except he’d messed it up and, instead of kissing him on the cheek the way she’d obviously intended to, she’d kissed his mouth. And it was as if someone had just lit touchpaper and blown up some of the walls he’d built over the last three years, letting him feel again.
Dared he let himself want this? Dared he risk his heart with Anna?
They said that lightning didn’t strike twice in the same place...
Which was an unfortunate metaphor, given what had happened to Hestia. Eclampsia, from the Greek for ‘light burst’.
No. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t offer Anna an uncomplicated relationship. So he needed to back off.
Now.
Before either of them got hurt.
‘See you at work tomorrow,’ he muttered, and left without looking back.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘THE WAY I feel right now, anyone would think I was fourteen, not thirty-four,’ Anna told George, dropping a blanched pea with the skin taken off into his tank. ‘A fourteen-year-old who’s just snogged a boy outside the school disco—the one she’s secretly fancied for months—except it was really embarrassing instead of romantic because their braces clashed, and now she thinks he’s going to tell his mates and everyone’s going to laugh at her at school tomorrow.’
George swam up and ate the pea.
‘Except obviously neither of us was actually wearing a dental brace. I know Jamie’s not going to say anything at work, and neither am I. And I don’t fancy him.’
George waggled his tail, as if to say, Who are you trying to kid?
‘But it’s just as embarrassing as a fourteen-year-old’s brace-clash. There was me, thinking I could be all cool and calm and just kiss him on the cheek and treat him in exactly the same way that I treat every male in my life, and what do I do? I go straight in and kiss him on the mouth. How stupid am I?’ She dropped a small piece of blanched broccoli into the tank. ‘Eat your greens, Georgie-boy, because they’re good for you.’
