by Sara DeHaven
Bree pulled back. “All right, that’s enough,” she said a little breathlessly.
“May I kiss you?” Gelsenim asked, meeting her eyes and leaning closer as if to act on the request.
“Oh, hell no!” Bree exclaimed and scrambled to her feet. She held a hand out in front of her defensively. “You just stay right there. There’s going to be none of that, do you hear me?”
Gelsenim cocked his head. “I hear you, my host, but I do not truly understand. I believe humans experience kissing as a great pleasure. Would it not be so for you?”
“Okay, remember when you tried to show me pleasure before, Gelsenim? How I told you that many humans prefer to be emotionally attached to enjoy intimate contact? I’m one of those types.”
Gelsenim settled back onto the couch and became quite still as he thought. “When I have possessed hosts, they have engaged in kissing without emotional attachment, and also in the sexual acts.”
“Well yeah, I know that happens, but really, most of the time, we like to care about the people we engage in that kind of intimacy with.”
The demon looked thoughtful. “Perhaps my understanding has been limited by the effects of hunger during possession. I have seldom felt free of it long enough to notice the subtleties of the host human’s experience or to reflect on it.”
“Well reflect on it now,” Bree told him tartly. “I don’t enjoy kissing or being touched by someone I don’t have feelings for, that I don’t share intimacy with.”
“Yet you enjoyed my touching you,” the demon replied with what appeared genuine confusion. “As we are joined, I am able to feel your responses.”
Oh dear, Bree thought desperately, what have I gotten myself into? “Look, Gelsenim, it’s not that simple. Yes, the physical sensation of touch is pleasurable to humans. We do touch each other in affection, for example, in non-sexual, non-romantic ways. And I was kind of enjoying your enjoyment, if you see what I mean.”
“And can’t you further enjoy my enjoyment and allow me to kiss you?” he asked hopefully.
Her face flushed, and she knew a moment's curiosity, then banished it. She had to get control of the situation, and fast “Not right now. We have more important things to discuss. I want to talk to you about the situation with Daniel.”
Gelsenim looked up at her with a rapt expression. “But I don’t wish to talk of Daniel. I wish to continue perfecting this form and talking of this thing called intimacy. How may we achieve this?”
Worse and worse, Bree thought apprehensively.
“What is worse and worse?” Gelsenim asked curiously.
“Oh Lord, you’re reading my mind too?” Bree exclaimed, voice rising.
“I am in your mind, my host, hearing your thoughts as always.”
Bree spun away from him, tried to gather herself, then turned back. “Gelsenim, you are just going to have to trust me on this. This has been a lot for me to take in. Apparently, we have a chance to learn a lot from each other, but there needs to be some give and take. I gave you a chance to play with this new form. Now I need your cooperation in working on the divided thing with Daniel. And keep in mind that I can just call him on over here to banish you if you decide to be a pain about it and not cooperate.”
“I don’t wish to be a pain,” the demon replied a little sulkily. If he’d had his human impersonation fully down, he’d have crossed his arms over his chest at that point, but he was still unmoving. “And I don’t wish Daniel to come and banish me. As you have said, I want for you to trust me so you will call upon me more often.”
“Fine then. Now, on to the Daniel problem.”
They ended up spending a half hour discussing Gelsenim’s experiences with divided Seldenai and with demon burned Demon Masters. And they also discussed the concept of energy healing. Unfortunately, he had little new to add. He still didn’t know a reliable way to fix the problem, still thought she might be able to perform some kind of attunement with both sides that might allow her to knit them together in some fashion. He did agree with her that it might be less dangerous if she attempted it when Daniel was not what he referred to as “fully divided.”
On the subject of containing Daniel if he did become divided during the process, he was more helpful. “Most demons I would be able to control. It is possible I could protect you to some degree from the effects of a binding, but I would not be able to protect any of your friends. I can only possess one of you at a time.”
“So in other words, there’s a decent chance you could keep me safe if he loses it.”
“Temporarily. I can help you cast defensive spells, likely prevent a binding from holding for long. But our energy, even when combined, is limited. It would be best in that situation for you to have someone waiting nearby who is able to kill him with a weapon if he becomes divided again.”
Bree was tiring from the intensity of the conversation, so she was sharper than she intended as she said, “When will you get it through your thick skull that I don’t want him killed? That I’m trying to save his life?”
Gelsenim looked over at her and raised a brow. “I am simply attending to your safety, and of course, to my own.”
“Well, I want you to believe me when I say that killing him would be an absolutely last case scenario response. Only if he stays divided and breaks loose and starts hurting people. And even then, I’d far prefer an alternative that didn’t involve killing him. I’m sure he could be drugged, for example.”
She brightened as the thought struck her. It was a tactic Keltoi and Keepers sometimes used on each other in battle, and in fact, she’d seen Daniel drugged in that manner before. The fact that she’d forgotten about that only went to show that she was too emotionally involved to think clearly. Yet there was no one she could bring in with the knowledge or power to help that she could trust. She sighed and decided it was time to call it a night. “Okay, I think we’ve done as much on this as we can for now. I need to go to bed, get some sleep, so it’s time for you to get out.”
“Might I not stay with you as you sleep? I have been thinking that might be a way for me to be fed without inconveniencing you.”
Bree felt an instinctive revulsion at the thought. In spite of her growing appreciation of Gelsenim, and the tiny seeds of trust that had been sown, she knew she’d never be able to sleep knowing a demon possessed her. What might he get up to while she was unconscious? “No, I’m sorry, I’m not ready for that. We must spend more time together, establish more trust, for me to be willing to try it. And remember, the core of establishing that trust is your willingness to leave at my request.”
The demon looked anything but willing, but he nodded. “I obey, my host. I only hope this longer contact has fed me enough that I might not entirely lose myself in the void.” He misted out with a reproachful look on his face.
After waiting a moment to be certain he was truly gone, Bree went to prepare for bed. She paid attention to how she was feeling as she went through her bedtime clean up ritual, but she couldn’t say that she felt different in any way that she had before having Gelsenim possess her, save more sleepy. She wondered as she headed up the stairs to her bedroom if she’d get any sleep in any case, she had so much to reflect on.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Leander got to the restaurant before Bree, and he took a seat at the table he’d reserved. He’d chosen an Italian restaurant within walking distance of his apartment, at the edge of the Pioneer Square district, heading toward the core of downtown. He’d been careful not to pick someplace too formal. As he looked around, he saw diners in jeans and sneakers as well as those in suits and ties. He’d gone for something in between, a nice pair of tan chinos with a casual paisley shirt, and he wore his ankh necklace on its leather cord. Sort of dressed up boho, he thought of it, something he calculated might appeal to Bree. A touch more stylish than what her crowd wore without looking too fashion conscious. He was also aiming for some ambivalence about whether or not this was a date. He’d gotten the sense during their p
hone call earlier in the week that she’d back pedaled some from her attraction for him, had seemed to hesitate about meeting him for dinner. So he didn’t want to spook her, but he also wanted her wondering about what he thought this was: a first real date, or another friend date. Leaving it uncertain promoted some sense of excitement to the encounter.
He was tempted to order a drink while he waited, but resisted the lure of the cocktail menu. He needed to be completely on top of things tonight. He wouldn't normally had been nervous about that, but a visit from Marton last night, thankfully without Franchesca, had brought home to him his mentor’s sense of urgency about this project.
Leander felt resentful that Marton had followed him up here and gotten involved. He was trying to break free of Marton to some degree by taking jobs outside of L.A. Yet at the same time, it had been good to see him. There was an easy, teasing relationship between them when the focus got off of business. And Leander could never help thinking that, when Marton was in the room, it was as if the sun was in the sky. One was compelled to turn one’s face toward him and soak up the reflected light. He had an intensity of purpose that Leander completely lacked, and he would find himself all too easily swayed by whatever Marton thought, whatever Marton wanted, so long as he was in the room.
But it was a tricky dance. Marton didn’t really quite want him to be a flunky. He liked Leander’s independence, his lack of seriousness, but at the same time, he expected obedience from Leander once he truly laid down the law about something. And he’d done just that on this project. He wanted results within three weeks. For a job like this, even with Leander’s skills, that was asking for a miracle. To get so deeply into another’s trust that they shared their most dangerous secrets with him, within three weeks, was well nigh impossible. His only hope at all was to make Bree fall passionately in love with him. Under the influence of those kinds of feelings, people had been known to reveal state secrets. It was one of Leander’s specialties, but he much preferred to have adequate time to make it happen.
Leander took a moment to think more consciously about Bree, about what he’d liked about her at the McClain’s party, and when they’d met for coffee. It helped his work if he were able to generate some kind of genuine liking and attraction. He could manage without it, but in this case, under the time pressure, he needed every advantage he could get. As he quickly reviewed their short time together, he found himself dwelling on how she’d looked after the attack, wearing his clothes, the surprisingly protective impulse he’d had toward her. He was fairly sure that had been a genuine feeling. Sometimes he found it hard to tell which of his were, but that one he felt sure of. He’d managed to work himself into quite a little froth of anticipation by the time Bree showed up, about fifteen minutes late, clearly a little flustered. He spotted her hurrying toward him across the restaurant, pulling out of a dark raincoat. Her hair was in a french braid, and she had on some kind of loose, swingy pants suit in dark brown, with a long brown vest over a coral colored shirt. It was a little dressed up, except for the fact that she was wearing flats rather than heels, more than he’d expected, and he wondered what to make of that.
“Hey, I’m so sorry I’m late,” she announced in a rush she pulled out her chair, draped her coat across the back of it, and sat down. “I really didn’t leave enough time for traffic.”
“No worries,” Leander reassured her with a smile. “That’s just life in the big city.”
“You must laugh at our idea of traffic, coming from L.A.”
Leander shrugged as he took the menu the returning waiter offered. “I’ve seen a few bad traffic days here to rival those in L.A. I’m afraid you’re catching up some on that.”
“Not exactly a goal we’ve been striving for,” she replied, eyes on the menu. Leander was a bit miffed that her eyes weren’t on him. He’d have to maneuver toward less lightweight conversation soon.
“That’s why I thought I’d try living downtown,” he told her. He made show of looking at his own menu, though he’d decided in advance so he’d be able to focus his attention on her. “I wanted to live where I could walk most places. And besides, because my job is so sedentary, I need any excuse to move.”
“My neighborhood is pretty walkable as well,” she told him with a glance up at him. “But it’s awfully quiet compared to downtown.”
“Oh, I like the excitement of living downtown, at least for now. Have you ever thought you might like that?”
She set aside her menu. She was apparently a quick decider. “Sure, I’ve thought of it, especially when I first came to live in Seattle. I like downtown. I like the busy vibe. That’s why I wanted to come to your ‘hood again.”
“I would have thought you’d have sworn off after what happened to you last time.” Leander did actually wonder about that. He’d been surprised at her suggestion about where they meet.
“I have to admit, I went with the valet parking,” she told him with a nervous little smile.
“You can be sure I’ll see you settled and locked into your car this time,” Leander answered seriously, catching her eye. “I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t do that last time.”
Bree reached out and put her hand lightly on his wrist as she answered. “You have absolutely nothing to blame yourself for. I’m the one who insisted. And besides, the people to blame are the ones who attacked me.” She seemed to suddenly notice what she’d done, and took her hand away quick enough to give away that she hadn’t meant to be so warm and personal. Not a good sign.
The waiter chose that moment to appear again. Bree ordered a glass of red wine, and Leander did the same. Anything to move along the more romantic atmosphere at this point. He’d just have to drink slowly, and hope she drank fast. He suspected getting a buzz on would mellow her. She was definitely not comfortable. He would have to make her so.
He steered them away from more intimate talk at first, to give her time to relax. It was less emotionally charged, and while he wanted to foster intimacy, her skittishness decided him on moving slower than he would have liked. Once he got her on the subject of politics, she became more animated, more spunky and opinionated, in short, more the person he’d met before.
He started to enjoy himself a bit, and risked a little more in the way of flirtatious repartee. By the time they were halfway through the meal, he thought he was finally making headway. He saw Bree making longer eye contact, and her body was canted more towards his. He had already planned to invite her to go out to hear some music at a smaller restaurant nearby that was featuring Latin music tonight. If he was lucky, he could get her to dance. He remembered from the party that she was a good dancer. If that failed to please, he had found out where they played some Irish music. It would be less intimate, but at least he already knew she liked that kind of music.
He was looking for his opening to make the invite when her phone went off in her purse. Bree reached for it, digging inside frantically, and finally got hold of and turned off the ringer. She glanced down at the number, then gave him a frankly apologetic look. “I’m so, so sorry, but I have to check this message. I know it’s terribly rude, and I wouldn’t normally, but this might be important.”
Leander waited with impatience. This had better not be something that interrupted their date. He absolutely had to make serious headway with her tonight, get her into bed if at all possible. Her face became tense and serious as he watched, and his mind raced as he tried to think how he might salvage things if she truly had to go.
“I’m afraid there’s an emergency. I’m going to need to leave,” she told him as she tucked her cell back in her purse.
“Is it anything I might help with? I don’t have other plans for the evening, and I have cash, we can just throw some down and leave now if we have to.” He tried to sound concerned, and in reality, he was. He might not get another date for a week or more if something serious was happening. She looked more like she was thinking how to tell him ‘no’ than she was thinking about taking him along. He ha
d a sudden hunch, and he went with it, leaning forward and saying in lowered voice, “Is it powered business?”
She gave him a penetrating look. There, he’d reminded her successfully he was powered too, part of the in crowd, to be trusted. She answered in a similarly quiet voice. “It is. You know those conflicts that have been happening? Those riots? Apparently there’s one starting right now, not far from here, more over towards your place, in one of those music clubs. I’m needed to help out.”
“Bree, there is no way I’m going to let you go alone, not after last time,” Leander said hotly, working to keep his voice down.
“There will be people I know there, some Keepers,” she told him doubtfully, but clearly she was wavering.
“I can do some basic warding and defensive spells. I can help. And besides, I’m just not letting you go into that by yourself.” Leander's heart was pounding. In a way, he meant it. He didn’t like the idea of her being hurt again. But he really didn’t like the idea of him getting hurt either. He wasn’t keen to walk into a riot, but this was his chance, a better chance really than dinner and dancing, to gain her trust, to get her to like him. Bonding through danger and all that. The catch was, if he had to save his own ass over protecting her, it was all over. She'd never trust him again.
She finally decided. “Okay, you can come along. We can talk more as we walk. It’s happening in a club down on the square. I think that’s eight or nine blocks from here. I’m sure it’ll be faster to walk because we’re not likely to get parking down there.”
“I agree.” He got into his wallet and tossed some money down on the table. Bree was digging in her purse to contribute, but he told her, “I’ve got it. You can treat next time.”
They left the restaurant and walked quickly south. The buildings got older and more ornamented as they went. There was low cloud cover, and it was starting to get misty, the streetlights each sporting a halo. The Saturday night crowd seeking restaurants and bars seemed thin to Leander, but there were enough people to make it necessary to try to converse in low voices to maintain some privacy.
