Twisted Freedom

by J Grayland

  “Now, that will definitely be happening again, but being away from you for more than a day? Never again unless you come with me,” I said. Her hands smoothed through my hair as we stayed exactly where we were until our breathing slowed. With her legs still wrapped tightly around my waist and me still inside of her, I took a careful and slow walk to the bedroom, gently laying her on the bed before pulling out of her, rolling to the side, and pulling her close into my body. We lay there for several minutes with her cheek pressed against my chest. I was lost in the beauty and feel of her soft hair as I aimlessly combed my fingers through it. Damn, it was so good to be home.

  “So, how was your trip?” Casey asked, breaking the silence.

  “Hell without you,” I told her, and she playfully slapped my chest, lifting her head to look at me.

  “You already told me that. I mean, overall, how was it?”

  “Well, compared to any other job I’ve done in private protection, it was pretty tame. The Senator is a nice, quiet family man. No fancy requests at 3 in the morning, no drunken bar fights, no picking up women on the side of the road for him…” I started to say, but Casey cut my words off with a death stare from hell.

  “Wait, what? Drunken bar fights? Women?”

  “Yeah. Well, normally these senators like to play hard once they get away from their wives, but Adams was different.”

  “And by different, you mean he chose to respect his marriage vows and his wife while he was at this conference?” she asked, her voice strained with venom.

  “Hey, calm down. Nothing happened.”

  “I’m glad to hear that because if I thought that you were out supplying a Senator with some tits and arse for the night, I’d have your balls in a vice grip by now,” she said, sliding her hand down and stopping on said balls. Her action and rising temper made me laugh as I pulled her to lay on top of me. She struggled a little, but I tightened my arms around her, keeping her in place.

  “You know, I can think of a lot of better things for you to do with my balls rather than rip them off.”

  My words brought her eyes to mine. “This isn’t funny, Nate. It’s disgusting.”

  I tried to rein in my laughter at her spiking temper that I could see in the thin line of her lips and the pinkness rising in her cheeks. I said, “I know, baby. You’re right, and like I said, nothing happened. I was just messing with you.”

  “You’re just saying that now to save your balls,” she said, eyeing me with suspicion. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my mouth.

  “Well, I am rather attached to them.”

  “Why would you say that, you shithead?” She smiled and softened in my arms, laying her head down on my chest. I kissed the top of her head.

  “Yeah, I know, I just couldn’t help it. I just love it when you get fired up.” With that, I rolled her over until she lay under me, and I proceeded to make up for the last four days of not being able to have her.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Casey

  Waking up with Nate stretched out next to me felt so good. I missed his warm body in bed, and now here he was. He looked exhausted from the flight. Sliding from the bed and scooping my dress from the floor, I was about to leave the bedroom when a thought hit me as I got to the door. Turning back to my bedside table, I slowly slid open the drawer and pulled out the diary, then quietly left the bedroom and headed down to the kitchen, slipping my sundress on as I walked. I let Chance out of the spare room and out onto the back porch while I searched through the freezer for one of Carmel’s frozen casseroles before taking it out and sliding into the oven, turning the heat on low to give Nate a good few hours to sleep.

  Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I went outside and sat in one of the chairs on the back deck, closing my eyes, and breathing in the fresh, salty sea air for a few minutes before opening the diary, readying myself for more of my mother’s wonderfully brutal words.

  November 2nd, 1985

  Damn this child. Not even born yet, but is making my life a misery. Besides my growing belly, it moves around at the most inconvenient times, like when I am trying to sleep, or even worse, when I am with a client. Everyone around me always wants to touch my belly and feel the baby move, a feeling that disgusts me. I lay awake the other night thinking, “Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this punishment?” I will be glad when it is over and done with, and I can go back to living my life.

  December 24th, 1985

  Well, it’s Christmas Eve, and I am sitting in my office, enjoying a large glass of brandy and feeling miserable with the thought that this will be the last year that David and I will be alone. I have tried to talk to him about my feelings, but he just doesn’t want to listen. He just makes comments about how other women do it all the time, or that I am overreacting, and I need to pull myself together. Easy for him to say. I am finding that even my feelings for David at the moment are questionable. This baby has done exactly what I knew it would do: ruined my life and my marriage.

  February 20th, 1986

  Today, I went to my doctor’s appointment. All seems to be on track for the birth, although my doctor has suggested that I have a cesarean section due to having a small pelvis. I must admit, the thought of being put to sleep instead of enduring the hours of labor pain sounds perfectly fine to me. The best news today was that I have a date for the birth, so I can plan my calendar to fit around it, which means less disruption to my schedule than I expected. It seems there might just be a silver lining for me after all.

  March 10th, 1986

  Free at last! I have my body back. The child was born on the 1st of March as planned, and because of the surgery, I didn’t have to see her straight away. Yes, a daughter apparently weighing 7lbs. 5oz. The nurses keep telling me how beautiful she is and sympathize that I have been too ill to see her, but they just don’t know how wonderful it feels to have my body back and finally be free of the burden. David has been to visit me. He told me that he has called the child Catherine, after his mother. Seems a fitting name as I couldn’t stand the old witch.

  The last sentence actually made my stomach roll with nausea, I just couldn’t understand where all her hatred came from. I thought that by reading her diary, I might get a small glimpse into what drove her to be so evil, but so far I saw nothing. No drugs or poverty, no constant beatings from a husband. She seemed to have a pretty great life, so why the hell did she hate me so much? I mean, I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t ask for any of it, and the more I read her words, the more I realized she was just a selfish, self-indulgent, spiteful poor excuse for a human being. I just couldn’t seem to fathom how anyone could have those types of thoughts and feelings about an innocent baby.

  I was still lost in my thoughts when I heard the ding of the oven timer letting me know that dinner was ready. As I pulled the dish out of the oven, Nate walked out of the bedroom in his low slung sleep pants. Looking up at his messy black hair, unshaven face, and those perfect V lines that disappeared down the front of his pants, the dish almost slipped from my oven gloved hands. Standing up and quickly sliding it onto the stove top, I managed to pull myself back into reality.

  “Hi, did you get good sleep?” I asked Nate, watching him slowly amble toward me and pull me into his arms.

  “I did. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep the day away.”

  “Don’t be silly, you needed it. Are you hungry?”

  “Hmm, but not for food,” he moaned into my neck.

  “Well, that’s tough luck for you because dinner is ready,” I said, pulling away to get some plates out and take them to the table before grabbing the beef casserole and placing it in the middle along with some crusty bread rolls and motioning for Nate to sit. As soon as he placed the first forkful of delicious tender meat into his mouth, his eyes closed with a moan. “Mrs. Winters?”

  “Yep, she is a fantastic cook, plus the fact that I can’t
seem to stop her from supplying us with endless frozen meals.”

  “Good, don’t even think of stopping her,” Nate said, scooping more of the casserole into his mouth.

  “Hey my cooking’s not that bad.” I pouted at his overenthusiasm at eating Carmel’s cooking.

  “Your cooking is perfect, baby, but damn, Mrs. Winters has a way of cooking that homestyle way my mom used to.”

  “That’s nice. I’m glad she gives you some good memories,” I said sincerely. Nate picked up a bread roll, tore it in half, then stopped to look at me.

  “I wish my mom could have met you, baby. She would have fallen in love with you and been thankful that you were willing to take me on.”

  “Me, take you on? You mean the opposite, don’t you?” I said, grinning.

  “What can I say, I was always the one to take on a good challenge,” he said, grinning back at me. “So, speaking of Mrs. Winters, what did you two get up to while I was gone?”

  “Let’s just say the woman likes to shop and shop for bargains. I think we went to every market in Oregon.”

  “And you went with her?” he said, stopping mid-chew to look at me.

  “Yep.”

  “And you enjoyed it?”

  “Yep, it was good. I think it’s because the market stalls were outside. They don’t feel as suffocating and crowded as a shopping mall. Plus, we would have lunch and talk. She’s a very interesting woman,” I said.

  “I’m glad. I knew you two would get along. You’re both very similar.”

  “We are?” I asked, slightly shocked by his observation.

  “Yep. You’re both strong, independent woman who’ve had a tough road in life.”

  Remembering what Carmel had told me about her life, I thought that maybe he was right. Maybe that was why we got along so well. “I guess,” I said absently.

  After dinner, we took Chance out onto the beach for a walk before curling into each other on the couch.

  “This is what I missed the most,” Nate said as he stroked my hair back, tucking a strand behind my ear before placing a gentle kiss against my neck.

  “Did you?” I asked him, my question causing him to stop placing tiny kisses on my neck.

  “What, miss being with you? Are you really asking me that?”

  “No, I just wondered if maybe you missed your life before. You know, being able to take off overseas on a moment’s notice, without any worries?”

  “If you’re asking me if I liked the idea of not being attached, then the answer is a definite no. A few years ago, I would have enjoyed every minute of it, but being away from you made me feel like I had an empty hole in the middle of my chest, and all I wanted to do was come home to you.”

  “That’s so sweet,” I breathed out, touched at his words and knowing exactly how he felt.

  “Yeah, well, never again, baby.”

  Reaching up with my hand, I ran my fingers over his jaw, trying to soothe the seriousness of his words. “I love you, Nathaniel King.”

  “I love you, too, Casey Tyler. Too much,” he said as he brought his mouth down to mine.

  By the time Nate came out of the bedroom in the morning, ready for work with his phone pressed against his ear, I had already made him some breakfast. “Yeah, sure, Paxton. I don’t think it will be a problem,” Nate said into the phone, followed by, “Okay, see you then.” He hung up, sitting down at the kitchen table.

  “Everything alright?” I asked, motioning toward the phone.

  “Yeah, but it looks like you’ll be coming in with me today,” he said, taking a drink of his coffee.

  “Why is that?”

  “Paxton has some papers for you to look over and sign. Apparently the clinic would like you to start straight away.” I was slightly shocked, and I noticed the two small lines of annoyance furrow on his forehead.

  “Wow, your brother works fast.”

  “Too fast,” I heard Nate say under his breath.

  Totally ignoring his tone, I said, “Okay, I’ll just take a quick shower and get dressed then.” Walking away from him toward the bathroom, I could feel the burn of his glare as it penetrated my back.

  I was deep in thought about giving Chance the run of the house while we were gone, crossing my fingers that he would behave himself and not eat any of the furniture. I wasn’t sure if I would be required to go into the clinic today, and leaving Chance locked up in the penthouse with all its finery did not sound like a good idea. I turned to look at Nate. He looked deep in thought, and that stern, concentrated look on his face told me he wasn’t too happy.

  “Okay, big guy, spill it,” I said, breaking the silence and causing him to look at me just for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road.

  “Spill what?”

  “What’s causing those little crease lines in your forehead to get deeper every time I look at you,” I said nonchalantly. He briefly looked at me again before speaking.

  “You know what’s pissing me off, so why are you asking me?” he said testily.

  “Because I want to know why,” I said, turning slightly in my chair so I could look at him better.

  “I don’t know, would you like me to make a list up for you?” he said, raising his eyebrow when he glanced at me.

  “It’s only for one, maybe two, days a week.”

  “Yeah, in the scummiest part of Portland that has a higher crime rate than any other suburb. Fucking awesome, Casey,” he said, and I noticed not just his hands tighten on the steering wheel, but also the tiny muscle in his jaw, which had started to twitch. Placing my hand on his thigh, I tried to put him at ease.

  “Hey, I’ll be alright. I’ve done some research on the place, and it has nothing on some of the shit that I had to deal with at the hospital in Sydney. You forget, I’m used to working in this kind of environment. Plus, you need to have a little faith in me, Nate.”

  “It’s not you I don’t have faith in, it’s all the other scumbags that you’ll be dealing with,” he said through a clenched jaw.

  “Look, how about a compromise? I’ll give it a month’s trial. I won’t ever leave the building unless it’s with Nick, and then we’ll revisit this conversation, okay?” I said, lightly slapping his thigh, hoping my suggestion would soothe his bubbling anger with the whole situation.

  “No, it’s not okay, but it’s something, I guess. I just don’t understand why you can’t just wait until you start your residency. You know, in a nice, safe hospital”

  “Believe me, no hospital is safe, and I’m not sure how long it will take for me to get one Nate. It could take months.” As I waited for him to throw another counter argument my way again, I noticed as the tenseness in his body visibly started to subside, and he slowly shook his head.

  “You’re right. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though. Stubborn woman,” he mumbled.

  “I heard that.”

  “Good, because if you don’t stick with Nick going and returning from that shit box clinic, I promise you will be hearing a lot more than that,” he said, a slight grin creasing the corner of his mouth, making me sit back into my seat and relax with a quiet victory smile on my lips.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Nate

  I pulled the Audi into my parking space under the King Security building. We got out and into the elevator, stopping at my office floor first. Before we even got to my door, I saw Paxton coming down the hallway.

  “Hey, bro, nice to have you back,” he said, giving me a slap on my shoulder. “Hi, Casey,” he said, smiling at her.

  “Hey, Paxton,” she replied.

  “I have all the papers for you to go over,” he said, looking at her and holding up a slim white folder, but before she could say anything, I took the folder from his fingers.

  “Thanks, I would like to take a look myself,” I said, turning and entering my of
fice with both of them behind me. I knew I was being an overprotective ass about this, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to check out this place thoroughly before Casey even stepped foot in it. Rounding my desk and sitting down behind it, I looked up into two shocked faces.

  “What? I want to know what she’s getting herself into,” I said, looking at Paxton and noticing as Casey folded her arms over her chest. She turned to look at Paxton.

  “Just ignore him, Paxton. He’s just practicing being an asshole at the moment,” she bit out, and Paxton’s face morphed from shock to a grin before he slowly started to back out of my office.

  “Okaaaay.” He drew the word out slowly. “I think I’ll leave you two alone for a while. Just drop the papers off in my office, Casey,” he said before closing the door, leaving Casey still standing almost at attention in front of my desk.

  “What? You think I’m being unreasonable?” I asked with a raised brow. Letting out a sigh, she flopped into a chair.

  “Honestly, I think you’re acting like an idiot, but I understand that you have this compulsion to act like a caveman sometimes, so I am guessing this is just one of those times.”

  “I just want to know if you’re going to be safe, that’s all.”

  “And I understand completely. I mean you do own your own security company, so I wouldn’t expect anything less. But as far as the paperwork, I’m pretty sure that really intelligent brother of yours has been through it with a fine-toothed comb to make sure there is nothing hidden in between the lines. I’m also pretty sure that I can handle it myself, but thanks for the offer,” she stated as she leapt up from the chair and snatched the file off the desk in front of me before heading for the door. “I’ll be in the penthouse, reading,” she called out as she waved the file above her head, slamming the door behind her. I should have been pissed, but all I could do was smile at her sassy mouth and the sweet sight of her ass as it swayed out of my office.

  Turning on my computer, I waded my way through the emails waiting for me before digging into the huge pile of contracts stacked on the side of my desk. Since we took over the security of The West Bank, business had grown exponentially, with a major shopping mall chain, private contracts, and now a chain of fitness centers to add to the pile of the already extensive list of clients we already had. King Security was becoming bigger than we ever expected. Pulling up the free clinic on the computer, I sent a quick email with the address over to Paxton with a request for the building specs, including the surrounding buildings. Then, I perused as much information on the place as I could. It was a pretty small place, housed in what used to be one of the original council offices in Portland, with minimal funding from government agencies and various charities around the area, which was pretty normal for a free clinic. Within an hour, Paxton walked through my door with the building specs and a spreadsheet of everything: average patient count, average criminal activity in the area, and an all over list of everything that had happened at the clinic since it opened its doors just over three years ago.