The Sheikh's Secret

by Knight, Kylie

  His feeling of relief quickly turned into something far less pleasant. Behind the slightly giddy sound of her voice she heard the sound of mingled laughter, both male and female, and music thumping loudly through speakers that needed to be replaced. She was very far from being asleep. It sounded like she was out at a club, and it sounded like she was having a hell of a time.

  “Bethany, can you hear me?”

  “Pretty much, sorry. It’s loud in here!”

  “Where’s here?”

  “Some bar Caroline likes to go to. I didn’t like it the first couple of times, but I think it’s growing on me!”

  She was shouting into the phone and Aasif wondered why she didn’t step outside so that they could have a proper conversation. It wasn’t that he expected her to drop everything for him, but they had such a hard time actually getting a hold of each other and he wanted so desperately to really speak to her. He needed that.

  “I miss you, Bethany. I wanted to tell you that. To make sure you know.”

  “What? I can’t quite hear you!”

  “I said I miss you! It’s driving me crazy not to have you right by my side. I miss the feel of your skin pressed up against mine.”

  Bethany started to speak, but then the sound of a male’s voice cut her off. The words he spoke made Aasif’s body go cold and hot all at the same time.

  “Beth! Come on, Beth, what are you still on the phone for? You can’t leave me alone with those two, you know that. And don’t forget, you promised me a dance. I won it fair and square and there’s no backing out.”

  “Beth?”

  “Sorry, Aasif, I can’t really talk now. But I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”

  “Ok, that’s fine. Have fun and be safe. I love you.”

  But she didn’t say it back. She had hung up the phone before he could even get the words out.

  Chapter Six

  “So tell me, Beth? How are you feeling after your first week? I know this is in no way what you actually want to be doing with your life, but I guess having something to do is nice, too. At least I hope it is.”

  “Oh, you have no idea!” Beth gushed, looking up at her new boss with a pretty smile and excited eyes, “I’m not really the type for laying around. Excessive leisure isn’t something I’m a big fan of. And who says I need to find my forever job right out of school? I’m not even sure I know what I want my forever job to be.”

  “Good. That’s good. If you ask me, that makes you a smart girl. I wish more people your age took just a little bit more time before setting down a path. Seems like it would save you so much heartache. Anyway, I’m rambling now. I know it. But I’m happy to have you on, dear, truly. If you’re done checking to make sure the books are in their proper place, you’re free to go. Enjoy your weekend. Come back with a story or two.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Mills. I’ll do my best.”

  Bethany watched her kindly new boss go, a smile still on her face, and thought for what must have been the hundredth time how lucky she was to have found this job in this sweet little out of the way book store. True, it wasn’t the most impressive job in the world, but that wasn’t what was important to her at the moment. What was important was that it gave her a place to go during her long days, something to do than pine. She didn’t enjoy the pining. It made her feel pitiful and small. It made her feel weak, which was something she had never before identified herself as. No, having a task again helped her to remember herself, to remember that she was capable of great things even on her own. And she liked being with the books. All around her was shelf after shelf of books in all shapes and sizes, each one containing its own little world. She could go anywhere she wanted in the pages of those books, even imagine she was travelling to be with Aasif. Aasif, the man she loved, or at least what she remembered of him. The longer she went without seeing him the less real he felt to her. These days, sometimes he felt like something she had conjured up in the delirium of her last semester of college. He was so busy, so important where he was, and it was close to impossible to get a moment to speak with him.

  Except that wasn’t entirely fair, was it? He had called her, plenty of times, actually. She just couldn’t seem to bring herself to pick up the phone. After that last time when she had been out with Caroline and their, well, their what? New friends? After that she had felt more and more unsure about speaking with him. She had been drunk that night, but that wasn’t the reason she hadn’t said she loved him when he said it to her. That wasn’t why she had hung up the phone. She had done those things because she wasn’t sure she could keep on going with just the idea of a person. She had done those things because in her head, in her heart, she had started to sever her ties. She needed to build a life for herself, a real life, and she couldn’t do that when half of her insides were somewhere else.

  The sound of her phone ringing pulled her out of her thoughts and she stood on legs that ached from being crossed for too long, wiping her dusty hands on her jeans and checking to see who it was. Caroline. Of course it was. She always seemed to know when Bethany was starting to feel a little bit morose and was more than ready to step in and intervene.

  “Hello?”

  “Beth! I thought for a minute you weren’t going to pick up!”

  “I thought about it, but knowing you, you would only have called back until I picked up the phone.”

  “You certainly do know me well, little lady. Now, what are you doing right now?”

  “I’m at work. I told you that’s where I’d be, right?”

  “I guess so. I must have just blocked it out.”

  “Caroline!” she said laughing despite herself, “why do you have a problem with me having a job?”

  “Ugh, I don’t know. It just sounds so boring! Just sitting around with all of those books. Can’t there be some kind of a happy medium? Something between an emo unwashed girl curled up on her couch and a librarian?”

  “Well I like the job, and that’s what counts. Anyways, I’m off now. So what’s up?”

  “Oh goody! Well then I like your job just fine. Meet me at your apartment, ok?”

  “Wait! How come?”

  “Just meet me.”

  With that, Caroline hung up the phone. Bethany looked at the phone and rolled her eyes. It was so like her, to say a thing like that and just cut off the conversation. Why was it that Caroline was always just popping over without an invitation? If she didn’t know any better, she would think the two of them shared the lease. Not that it was all that bad, really. It was good having someone like Caroline on her side. Since Aasif had returned home and left her on her own, she had become more and more aware of just how good it was. Sometimes, a person needed someone to pick her up and make her go out and do something different. Bethany had spent less time cooped up with her studies and ambitions and more time out in the world since Aasif had left than she had in the whole of her life before him. For that, she owed Caroline a great debt of gratitude. That being said, she always got a slightly nervous feeling when she received a call like this from her feisty friend. She never knew what it meant, what it was she was going to get the two of them into.

  “Let’s get this over with” she sighed to herself, feeling nervous and excited at the exact same time. Keeping Caroline waiting wouldn’t do much good in the end. Whatever she had planned, they were going to do it, one way or another. The one thing Bethany knew for sure was that the more time she left Caroline to her own devices in her apartment, the crazier the outfit she would be forced into wearing would be.

  “I’m sorry, but can you tell me why we’re going here again? I don’t get it. What’s so important about us going to this specific bar on this specific night? I wanted to go to Providence. It’s their tiki night tonight.”

  “I know, it’s tragic. Don’t worry, though. We’ll hit up tiki night next week. I promise, it will still be there.”

  “Oh alright. But I still don’t see why we have to go to this same place.”

  Caroline just smiled an
d went silent, usually a sign that she was up to no good. Bethany sighed and looked down at the outfit she had been harassed into wearing tonight. She had managed to convince Caroline to let her wear jeans, but the top was black, flimsy, and beyond lowcut. The navel length string of pearls she had been instructed to add to the ensemble ensured that nobody would be able to keep from noticing her seductive ensemble. For the millionth time she considered asking Caroline if they could please go back to her place so she could change, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. Besides, Caroline looked pretty wrapped up in some serious text messaging at the moment. In fact, she looked positively devious. Just what exactly was she up to, anyway?

  “Caroline?”

  “Hm?”

  “Caroline!”

  “Jesus, what? Is everything ok? And before you ask, no, I won’t let you get a change of clothes. You look completely fabulous and you are going to stay that way.”

  “No, I figured that much, I was just wondering something.”

  “Ok, I’ll bite. What were you wondering?”

  “I was wondering who you’ve been texting nonstop since I’ve been with you. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” she replied demurely, her voice dripping with false innocence, “nobody. You know, just people.”

  “Caroline. Tell me. Tell me right now.”

  Caroline rolled her eyes and heaved a dramatic sigh. She didn’t like it because she didn’t much care for not getting her way, but Bethany knew she would tell her now. They both knew that she wasn’t playing around. She just wasn’t up for any more surprises.

  “Oh, alright. You’re no fun and you’re spoiling the surprise, but I’ll tell you.”

  “Awesome. Start talking.”

  “It’s not like I’m handing you over to the mafia or anything. We’re just meeting some people.”

  “Excellent. Which people would those be?”

  “Nobody. Just Dan and Joshua. It’s no big deal.”

  “I should have known.”

  “Come on, Beth, what’s the big deal? We’ve already hung out with them a couple of times and it’s not like the world ended or anything. We’re just having a little bit of fun.”

  Bethany didn’t answer, but that didn’t mean her head wasn’t spinning. Of course to Caroline it seemed like no big deal, but for Beth it was playing with fire. It was bad because they had hung out with them a couple of times. Joshua, the one who had been so shy and hadn’t been able to keep from staring at her, wasn’t just playing around with her. He had made that very clear the last time they had seen each other. No, he was interested in something more, something that would mean crossing a major line or giving Aasif up for good. As pretty as she was, Bethany had never expected to be it the kind of situation where two men were interested in her at the same time. Because she had never anticipated it, she had no idea how to handle it. The thing that made it really difficult was that she didn’t even know how much Aasif still wanted her. How could she? She didn’t really understand the life of responsibility he had because he hadn’t ever fully laid it out for her. What she did know was that he wasn’t there for her. He said he loved her, but words were only words in the end. What did she have to show for it? So much time had passed and he still hadn’t even hinted at him coming home or even bringing her there to be with him. So that’s where things stood with Aasif, the man she loved. Then there was Joshua, who was right there in front of her and would gladly spend as much time with her as she would allow. He was doing everything he could just to get to know her, and that wasn’t nothing. If Bethany was being honest with herself, the way that Aasif had just left her waiting in some kind of Cambridge limbo had badly shaken her confidence. It made her feel expendable, and that was slightly terrifying. Nobody wanted to be completely open and vulnerable to someone who might decide to throw them away at a moment’s notice. Joshua was enticing because he was there. When he said he was interested in her she believed him because she could see the truth of it on his face.

  “Beth? Earth to Beth?”

  “Sorry, what?”

  “I was just pointing out that we’re here. Are you coming inside or not? And the answer better be yes.”

  Bethany took a deep breath and looked up at the bar. Walking through that door was playing with fire and she knew it. So why was she so tempted to do it? She wanted to say no, she did, but she knew she wasn’t going to. She just couldn’t resist holding her hand over the open flame.

  “Yes, I’m coming. Let’s go.”

  “I’m really glad you showed up, Beth. I was hoping you would, but, you know.”

  “No,” she said to a nervous looking Joshua, “I don’t. But what?”

  “I don’t know. I just wasn’t sure you would come. It’s not like I’ve always made the greatest impression.”

  “No, don’t say that! You’ve been sweet. Really, if I come off as wishy-washy it doesn’t have anything to do with you, I promise.”

  “It’s him, right?”

  Bethany felt her face go hot even hearing Joshua bring Aasif up. This was just such an uncomfortable conversation to be having! Especially when she was feeling as far away and disconnected from Aasif as she ever had. And here was Joshua, standing in front of her and looking so hopeful that she would even give him a chance. How was she supposed to just ignore that?

  “Aasif. Yes, of course it is. I’m so sorry, I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’ve told you from the beginning that I was involved with someone and that it was complicated.”

  “But you don’t have to be with someone like that! It could be so much easier, Beth! It’s supposed to be easier. I’m standing right here in front of you. Not calling you from halfway across the world. I’m right here, and I’m telling you that I want a shot. That’s all. I don’t need any kind of promise, I just want a shot. I’d be lucky to have it, too.”

  Bethany felt like she couldn’t breath. This was the kind of thing every girl wanted to hear, wasn’t it? Here was this gorgeous man laying everything, his heart and soul, out on the table and asking her to take it. How many chances like that did a woman get in her life? She had no way of knowing, but she felt like she was lucky to get one. The only problem was that it wasn’t coming from the man she really wanted, the man she loved. But was love enough? She had always believed it would be, but after being so shaken up, she wasn’t so sure anymore. She felt frozen in time, afraid to move forward and unable to move back. She might have just turned and run straight out of the bar if it hadn’t been for the gentle tap she felt on her shoulder. She turned, thankful to have any kind of interruption from the position she had just been put in, and her jaw dropped open. Of all the possible scenarios she could have conjured up in her head, this wouldn’t have been one of them. Not even that farfetched only one time out of a million scenarios that people sometimes dreamed about.

  “Excuse me, I was wondering if I could step in. You can tell me no, you can tell me to fuck off and I’ll go, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at least ask.”

  “Aasif!”

  “Beth, Beth I can’t believe you’re standing in front of me right now.”

  He couldn’t believe it? He was the one who was supposed to be in a different country, after all. What in the hell was he doing here? Even as he took her in his arms she couldn’t believe that it was really him. It must be some kind of an imposter, some kind of an apparition she had conjured up so that she didn’t have to make a decision she didn’t know how to make. But as her hands glided tentatively over his beautiful smokey skin, as she took in the spicy scent of his cologne, she knew that this was no mirage. This was real. She didn’t know why or how, but it was Aasif. He had come back, tracked her down just to say hello. She turned to say something to Joshua, knowing she owed him at least that much, but she could see by the look in his eyes that he already knew. Before Aasif had just been a name, some far off, unseen competitor that Joshua believed he could best in the end. But now that he saw the two of them together he could s
ee that he was wrong. He held up both of his hands in a sign of concession, backing away as he did so.

  “I’m sorry. I was over the line. I’ll go, ok? And I hope you’re happy, Beth. I really do. I hope he takes care of you and that he doesn’t leave you alone like this ever again.”

  Beth watched him go with Aasif’s arm still slung around her shoulder. Part of her wanted to call out to him, to tell him not to go, but she knew it was because of fear. She realized, very suddenly, that she was terrified. As much as she had longed to have him beside her again, she was so afraid that she would have forgotten how to be with him in all of their time apart and her lonely nights wondering if he would ever come back to her, if he had ever truly loved her at all. She didn’t know if she could even look at him, but he gently spun her to face him again and lifted her face up towards his.

  “I almost lost you, didn’t I?”

  “I, I don’t know. What are you even doing here, Aasif? What about your family?”

  “I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything, but first, can we go somewhere else? Somewhere quiet, where we can be alone? I’ve travelled a long, long way and all I want is to be with you.”

  “Yes. Yes, we can do that.”

  She didn’t even bother to say goodbye to Caroline before they left. She seemed to be having a great time all on her own, and besides, she would understand once she knew what happened. She and Aasif didn’t even speak on the way home. He just held her hand, slid his fingers over hers in a way that made her whole body tingle. By the time they made it up to her apartment door, she could hardly walk her legs were trembling so bad. She hadn’t been touched like this in what felt like forever and it made it hard to think straight. They hardly got the door shut before he pounced on her, tugging at her coat as if he would die if he didn’t get it off. His breath was coming in ragged tears, his eyes dilated as they drank her in hungrily.