The Problem Child (The Sisters Grimm, Book 3)

by Michael Buckley

  After a couple hours of sightseeing, Uncle Jake made a turn that led up to the mountains. They drove for some time, then made a left on an abandoned gravel path and parked the car near a clearing.

  "What are we doing here?" Daphne asked as everyone got out of the car.

  "I have to admit that this walk down memory lane was all just a trick to get you girls out of the house," Uncle Jake replied, leading the children to the center of the open field. "Mom doesn't want you two messing with the stuff in the Hall of Wonders, but I have a few goodies of my own. I'm going to teach you to use some of them. Puck, would you like to learn something, too?"

  Puck sneered. "I know all I'm gonna."

  Uncle Jake dug in his pockets and produced his Wand of Merlin. He handed it to Daphne but she refused to take it.

  Her uncle was surprised. "Wouldn't you like to have something that you can use to save your mom and dad and keep you and your sister safe? Your grandmother never has to know."

  Daphne shook her head. "No, thank you."

  Uncle Jake frowned and handed the wand to Sabrina. As soon as she touched it she felt the familiar charge run through her body. It was exhilarating.

  "Looks like you're going to be the hero of this family. OK, the name of the game with a magic wand is control. You want to be able to aim and concentrate all at once 'cause the thing about monsters is they don't wait until you're ready. So every time you point this thing, know what you want or someone could get hurt."

  Sabrina nodded, doing her best to avoid Daphne's disapproving glare.

  "So you've seen how it works for garland and tinsel," Uncle Jake said. "Let's try something with a little more punch. Let's pretend those trees over there are the Jabberwocky. We need something really big to knock a Jabberwocky down. It could be anything, but let's try lightning. To get some lightning, think about the worst thunderstorm you've ever seen, a really scary one with fierce wind and rain."

  Sabrina closed her eyes to imagine the scenario and immediately remembered the night after her parents had disappeared. There had been a terrible thunderstorm right outside of their apartment windows. The girls had slept in their mom and dad's bed, hoping they'd come home soon. They never did.

  "Now aim and say, 'Gimme some lightning.'"

  When Sabrina opened her eyes, that same thunderstorm was building in the sky above her. There was static energy in the air that caused the hair on her arms to rise. She felt supercharged, like she was filled with enough power to do anything she could imagine, like there was nothing that could hurt her. All of her fears and worries about Red Riding Hood and the Jabberwocky faded away and for the first time in a year and a half she felt calm and confident. It was a sensation so incredible she wondered if there was a way to feel it all the time.

  In an instant, a bolt of lightning plummeted to the earth and crashed into the bank of trees. They disappeared for a moment in a flash of brilliant white light, which was followed by an earth-shaking boom!

  When it was over, the trees were cracked in half. Many were on fire.

  "Nice shot, kiddo," Uncle Jake said. "I think you're a natural."

  "Could lightning kill the Jabberwocky?" Sabrina asked. She imagined unleashing the wand's power on the monster and smiled.

  "It won't kill it," Uncle Jake said. "But it would knock the ugly sucker off its feet, hopefully long enough to get your parents back."

  Just then, one of Puck's pixie minions zipped across the field. It stopped at Puck's ear and buzzed excitedly. Puck's eyes lit up and his wings popped out of his back.

  "There's someone in the woods watching us," he said, as he lifted off the ground.

  "Looks like we're going to get a bit more practice," Uncle Jake said to the girls. "Come on!"

  They all raced toward the forest and plunged into its thick brush. Sabrina quickly caught a glimpse of someone running far ahead--a man. His speed was superhuman, and she watched him leap effortlessly over a downed tree. Before they could get a good look at him, he was gone.

  "I'm going to follow him," Puck shouted, zipping into the woods.

  "Be careful!" Sabrina shouted.

  "And what would be the fun in that?" the boy said and disappeared into the forest.

  "He's just dumb enough to confront that guy," Sabrina said.

  "Naw, he wouldn't fight unless he had an audience. He'll be fine," Daphne said.

  "I hate to admit it, but he's a lot like your dad and me," Uncle Jake said. "I can see why Mom and you love him so much."

  "Love him? I don't love him. He's a pain in the butt!" Sabrina shouted, a bit louder than she meant to.

  * * *

  The group waited an hour and a half before they gave up on Puck. The boy could always fly home, so they got into the old car without him and cruised back down to the town. As they passed a diner, Uncle Jake slammed on the brakes and abruptly pulled into the parking lot.

  "This place is the best!" he cried.

  Sabrina had spotted the Blue Plate Special several times since they had moved to Ferryport Landing. It was right next door to the Ferryport Landing Post Office and had a neon sign of a grinning waitress holding a bright-blue tray of burgers and shakes. It was the kind of place her parents would have taken them to after a movie or a visit to the Central Park Zoo. Just looking at the sign made Sabrina's mouth water for the kind of old-fashioned egg cream her father had gotten her addicted to. That and a plate of cheese fries was a meal made for a king, even if it was made by witches and ogres. Granny had told her the Blue Plate Special diner employed a lot of Everafters.

  The inside of the restaurant was decorated for the holiday season, with little Christmas trees painted on the windows and long strands of garland hanging from the ceiling. There were booths along a bank of windows, personal juke boxes at each table, and a counter at the front where people drank coffee and read the newspaper. A dessert case in the corner spun slowly, tempting diners with cheesecake dripping in strawberry sauce and chocolate parfaits. Overworked waitresses rushed from table to table, refilling coffees and shouting their odd diner-speak to the short-order cooks in the kitchen. The place smelled like hamburgers and mashed potatoes, and Sabrina knew everything would taste a little like chicken. She was in heaven.

  At a table at the far end of the restaurant sat Mr. Swineheart and Mr. Boarman. They set down their coffee cups and waved to the group. The girls waved back and then slid into a booth near the door with Uncle Jake. They each snatched a menu from behind the ketchup caddy and scanned it eagerly.

  "I swear I'm going to eat everything on this menu," Daphne said. "Who wants onion rings?"

  Uncle Jake didn't respond. He gazed around the room, looking depressed.

  "Uncle Jake?" Sabrina said.

  "We used to come here when I was a kid. Hank and I would collect old soda bottles and take them to Tweedledee and Tweedledum's convenience store for the deposits. Then we'd head over here and drink chocolate malteds all day. This was our booth. That waitress at the door--she owns this place. We used to drive her nuts, but she doesn't even recognize me. That man at the counter--he's the Scarecrow. He runs the town library. I owe him probably forty dollars in late fees. Over in that booth at the end of the table is the Cheshire Cat--we once watched a pit bull chase him up a tree. The fire department had to come and get him down. He called us a couple of 'no-good hooligans' for laughing at him."

  Sabrina turned around. The man Uncle Jake was referring to was studying his menu. He had the biggest eyes and grin Sabrina had ever seen outside of a cartoon.

  "But I've been erased." Uncle Jake sighed.

  "What did you do?" Sabrina said.

  He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Something very, very stupid."

  "How y'all doin'?" a waitress said as she bopped over to the table with a note pad and pencil in hand. She had a big out-of-date hairdo, bright-pink lipstick, and a name tag that read FARRAH. "What can I getcha?" she said, between chomps on her bubble gum.

  "I'll have a grilled cheese with bacon an
d tomato," Uncle Jake said. "You still make those fantastic chocolate malteds?"

  "You bet we do," Farrah said. "Sounds like you've been here before."

  "A couple times." Uncle Jake sighed again.

  "And what about you, honey?" Farrah said, turning to Sabrina. Waitresses in Manhattan were always calling her "honey." It made her a little homesick.

  Sabrina read her order straight from the menu. "Cheeseburger, medium, cheese fries with a side of brown gravy, an egg cream, and…"

  "What'cha lookin for, darlin'?" Farrah asked.

  "Oh, I wish you had blueberry cobbler. There was a diner near our apartment that specialized in it. Most restaurants don't make it."

  "Well, we do." Farrah pointed to the bottom of the menu. Sabrina could have sworn it hadn't been there before but at the end of the dessert list was BLUEBERRY COBBLER in black and white.

  "Looks like you've got the four major food groups covered," the waitress said with a playful wink. "How about you, short stuff?"

  "I want chicken wings, some macaroni and cheese, and jalapeno poppers," Daphne said.

  Farrah jotted it down.

  "Then, for my main course, I would like one of these overstuffed Reuben sandwiches with extra Thousand Island dressing, a side of tater tots, a black-and-white milkshake, and a cherry vanilla Dr Pepper."

  "Sweetie, there's no way you'll be able to eat all that." Farrah laughed.

  "Oh, she'll eat it," Sabrina said. "Back home they call her 'The Stomach.'"

  "Save me a slice of cheesecake, too," Daphne added after she'd stuck out her tongue at her sister.

  Farrah laughed, shoved her pencil behind her ear, and dashed to the back with the order.

  Suddenly, the door jingled and a crowd of people entered the diner. Leading them was the Queen of Hearts and Sheriff Nottingham. The queen called out a hello to everyone, while members of her entourage handed out "VOTE FOR HEART" buttons. The queen and the sheriff went from table to table, shaking hands with people and asking for votes. Sabrina frowned, knowing it was just a matter of time before they got to their table.

  "Maybe we should leave," she said.

  "Leave?" Daphne gasped. "Do you know how long it has been since I had chicken wings?"

  "No, this will be fun," Uncle Jake said, just as Mrs. Heart and Nottingham reached their table. Without even looking, the queen took Uncle Jake's hand and shook it vigorously while her handlers pinned campaign buttons on the girls without bothering to ask if it was OK.

  "Hello everyone, my name is Heart and I'm running for mayor of Ferryport Landing," the woman said.

  "Hello, your majesty," Uncle Jake said with a mischievous grin.

  The queen's eyes quickly darted to their uncle's face and immediately flared with rage.

  "You!" she cried, yanking her hand away as if she had just put it inside a hornet's nest.

  "Us," Daphne said.

  "How is the campaign going?" Uncle Jake asked.

  "It's going just fine, thank you." Mrs. Heart seethed. "Your assault on the community yesterday only helped get my point across. There's not enough room in this town for Everafters and Grimms."

  "What an inspiring message of hope," Uncle Jake replied.

  Sheriff Nottingham limped over and grabbed Jake by the collar. He pulled him close to his angry face and barked, "Laugh now, boy, but when we're running this town, I promise you I will personally squash your filthy vermin family under my boot heels."

  "Take your hands off my uncle," Sabrina said. Nottingham snarled. "Shut your gob, child, or I'll smack it off your face."

  "What does gob mean?" Daphne asked.

  Sabrina shrugged, reached into her pocket, took out the wand, and aimed it at the sheriff.

  "Do you know what this is?" she asked.

  Nottingham stared at the wand. "I don't have the foggiest," he growled.

  "It's the Wand of Merlin," Sabrina said as she watched fear flash in Nottingham's eyes. Sabrina smiled, but inside she struggled with an overwhelming urge to zap the man with a shot of lightning.

  "You're bluffing," Nottingham said.

  "Is she?" Uncle Jake said.

  Nottingham slowly let Jake go and stepped back from the table, but Sabrina kept pointing the wand at him. She had power for once and it felt good to let the bad guys know it.

  Just then, there was an enormous thump that knocked the ketchup bottle off the table. It was followed by another, the source of which seemed to be outside. Everyone turned to look out at the parking lot where a car suddenly flipped over and went flying into another. A moment later a second car got the same destructive treatment.

  Farrah returned with a tray of food and set the edge of it on the table. "Chow time!" she sang cheerily but her voice trailed off when she saw the destruction through the window. "Oh, my."

  "What is that, Nottingham?" the queen demanded.

  The would-be sheriff pointed out the window. "I think it's her."

  Little Red Riding Hood came into view. She skipped through the parking lot like a happy schoolgirl, holding a leash, on the end of which walked her monstrous, reptilian playmate. The two demented creatures were coming straight for the diner.

  "There's no cause for alarm," Nottingham said confidently just as the rest of the diners leaped from their seats and hid under the tables. An older gentleman jumped from his chair at the counter and knocked into Farrah, who spilled the family's meals all over the floor. The girls tumbled out of the booth and Sabrina's wand slipped from her hand and rolled to the other side of the room.

  Nottingham opened his coat and pulled a serpentine sword from a scabbard strapped around his waist. He pointed it at the Jabberwocky but it made no impression on the beast. The hulking brute grabbed the front wall of the diner and tore it away as if it were paper. Then the creature poked its gruesome head into the hole, mere inches away from Sabrina and Daphne. It stuck out its long tongue and flicked it around as if it were tasting the fear in the room.

  "JABBERWOCKY!" the monster cried.

  Chapter 7

  "Where's my grandmother?" Red Riding Hood screamed. Her face was a contorted mess, like a sculpture made from Silly Putty whose features were twisted and stretched into horrible exaggerations. "I want to play!"

  "Stay down," Sabrina whispered to Daphne as Uncle Jake joined them on the floor.

  Nottingham raised his sword and waved it in the air threateningly. "Child," he said to Red Riding Hood, "take this overgrown tadpole and go or I swear I'll--" but his threat was never finished. The Jabberwocky whipped its tail at him and sent him sailing across the room and into the dessert case. He let out a terrible groan and collapsed to the floor.

  "Grandmother, are you in there?" the demented little girl called out, as she and the Jabberwocky stepped through the hole and into the diner. She searched with growing disappointment as patrons cowered under tables.

  "Who are you looking for, young lady?" the queen called out with a trembling voice.

  "My grandmother," Red Riding Hood said. Her face suddenly went from rage to a sweet hopeful smile.

  The Queen of Hearts smiled, too, or at least did something Sabrina guessed was as close as the nasty woman could get to smiling. "But child, your grandmother is dead. Don't you remember? She was eaten by the Big Bad Wolf."

  Red Riding Hood sputtered and rocked back and forth on her feet. "That's not true," she said to herself, over and over again. "We're playing a game. I have to find her so my family can be together again. She's just hiding. Playing a game."

  "Oh, you poor thing," the queen said. "You're so confused."

  "That's what they said," the little girl agreed as her face darkened. "I'm confused. They said I had… imagination."

  The Jabberwocky leaned down to the little girl and licked her face with his long disgusting tongue, causing her to giggle. "Oh, kitty, are you bored? Do you want to play? I bet this lady would like to play with you."

  The Jabberwocky gnashed its teeth enthusiastically and turned to Mrs. Heart. It reached o
ver and snatched her off the ground in one of its huge, taloned hands. She screamed and begged for help.

  "Do something!" Sabrina whispered to her uncle. She didn't like the Queen of Hearts, not even a little, but she didn't want her to die, either.

  Uncle Jake rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine," he grumbled. He sprang to his feet and pointed a threatening finger at the brute. "Hey, ugly--put her down!"

  "You know where my grandmother is! You know where the doggy is, too. Don't you?" Red Riding Hood said.

  "Yes, yes!" the queen cried as she struggled to free herself. "He's the one you want! Not me! There's no need to kill me!"

  The Jabberwocky gnashed its fangs and dropped the Queen of Hearts. It stomped across the room toward the Grimms, tossing tables and chairs out of its way

  "Uncle Jake? It's coming," Sabrina cried impatiently.

  "Working on it, kid," Uncle Jake said. He searched his many pockets for something that he could use against the monster. Pennies, buttons, half a candy bar, and dozens of trinkets and necklaces were tossed aside. "I have just the thing in here. Where on earth did I put it?" But whatever he was searching for he didn't find. The monster backhanded him so hard he crashed through the men's room door.

  The Jabberwocky beat on its chest and flapped its leathery wings. It shrieked and spit and then chaos ensued. The monster stomped its colossal foot down on the floor, causing a shock-wave that rolled through the diner. Chairs flew through the ceiling and walls, and exploded into the dessert case right above the still-unconscious Nottingham. Several cups of butterscotch pudding tipped over and dribbled down onto his head.

  Sabrina scrambled across the room toward her wand. Just as she snatched it, the Jabberwocky leaped forward and set a heavy paw on Sabrina's chest, pinning her arms at her side. She couldn't move an inch. The monster craned its neck so that its nose was touching Sabrina's and it sprayed its hot, pungent breath into her face.

  "I want my grandmother and my doggy," Red Riding Hood said as she crossed the room and stood over Sabrina. "And I want them right now."

  "You're crazy!" Sabrina cried. "Your family is dead!"