Love, Honor, and Betray

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  Charlotte pulled to the side of the road, entered the new address into her nav system, and started back on her way. Rose, the nickname she and Curtis had given both their extremely polite guidance experts, recalculated the distance, and Charlotte saw that Fontana was sixty miles from where she was currently. Meaning there wouldn’t be any time to spare after all.

  Charlotte turned her radio to XM 33, the Praise channel, and heard one of Shekinah Glory Ministry’s latest singles. Sometimes she listened to XM 62, Heart & Soul, but today she needed to be uplifted. She needed to hear a song of hope as well as one about forgiveness, because after all the many sinful things she’d done, she needed God and Curtis to forgive her. She needed them both to understand that she was only human and that humans didn’t always make the right decisions. Sometimes they tried, tried, and tried, and still failed at it miserably.

  As the music played, Charlotte traveled closer and closer to her dreaded destiny. She just didn’t want to do this, and she wondered how long Tom was planning to keep this pathetic game of his going. She also wondered for the hundredth time why he was doing this. She’d come up with all sorts of ideas, but none of them made any sense. The whole thing was a total mystery, and Charlotte wanted to get to the bottom of it.

  After taking the last exit, Charlotte drove down a two-lane street, turned onto a second one, and then drove onto the frontage road where the motel was located. It looked just as unglamorous as she’d expected, and she couldn’t wait to be out of there.

  She drove around until she found the room Tom was holed up in and parked. Suddenly, though, her nerves got the best of her, and she could barely will her legs out of the car. But she knew Tom wouldn’t be happy about her not showing, and she just couldn’t have Curtis learning about this. She couldn’t and wouldn’t allow Tom to ruin her life or her happy marriage.

  Charlotte left the car and knocked on the door.

  Tom opened it, smiling seductively. “Well, don’t you look as beautiful as ever?”

  Charlotte walked in and felt dirty already. She had never felt filthier and wondered how many prostitutes had turned multiple tricks in there.

  Tom reached his arms out to hug her, but she pushed him away.

  “Awww. Now, don’t be like that, sugar boo,” he said, taunting her.

  Charlotte’s skin crawled.

  “Have a seat,” he instructed.

  “You know what?” she said. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  “What’s the big hurry? Especially since we have all night together.”

  “No, we don’t.”

  “Oh yeah. I forgot. You have to get back to the good reverend, don’t you?”

  “Exactly. So, like I said, let’s get this over with.”

  Tom ignored her. “Have a drink.”

  Charlotte watched him pour what looked to be some sort of cheap wine into two glasses. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “You know, I’m really not liking this little uppity attitude of yours. You’re really killing the vibe in here.”

  The television played and the volume was turned down pretty low, but Charlotte kept her eyes glued to it. She pretended to love whatever sitcom she was watching, but if she could somehow get away with murdering Tom, she would.

  Tom sat enjoying himself like he was at a ritzy country club. “Sure you won’t have some?” he said, lifting his glass toward her.

  Charlotte didn’t even bother responding.

  Finally, after another ten minutes or so, he said, “Take all your clothes off. Every single stitch.”

  His tone was angry, but Charlotte still hesitated. She didn’t move.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “I heard you fine.”

  “Then, I suggest you do what I told you. Either that or I’ll send that photo of you to your husband right now.”

  Charlotte closed her eyes, stood up, and undressed herself. Then she slid into bed very quickly. Tom stripped off his shirt, pants, and underwear faster than a few seconds and got in next to her. He kissed her wildly, and she wanted to vomit. Then, he did what he’d come there to do, and now Charlotte knew what it felt like to be raped. It was almost as if she was having an out-of-body experience, so she went to a whole other place, far away from this roach-motel room and was glad when Tom had finished and rolled off of her.

  He panted like a thirsty bloodhound, and this time Charlotte really did throw up. She’d never felt more sick, and all she wanted was to be out of there and on her way back home where she belonged.

  “You were even better this time than before,” he struggled to say between breaths.

  But just when Charlotte got out of the bed, someone knocked on the door. They knocked once, twice, and then a third time, and Charlotte was terrified that someone might recognize her. So she hurried to get her clothing on.

  “Uh-oh,” he sang. “Sounds like we have a visitor.”

  Charlotte didn’t like the sound of that and knew something wasn’t right.

  Tom slipped on his pants and then went to the door. Charlotte pulled up her jeans without having a chance to zip them and rushed to put on her sweater. Still, Tom opened the door before she’d had a chance to get on her boots or comb her hair, which was scattered wildly on her head.

  But none of that mattered anymore when she saw Matthew walking in.

  “Mom?! What are you doing? And who is this man you’re with?”

  “Oh God, Matt. Who told you to come here?”

  “I got a text from a Chicago number saying that you wanted me to meet you here, but that you didn’t want me to tell Dad.”

  “What?”

  “That’s right,” Tom said with great pride. “It was a Chicago number, and the call came from me. I sent it so your son could see just how slutty his mother is. I wanted him to see with his own eyes.”

  Matthew tossed Charlotte a dirty look. “Why, Mom?”

  “Sweetie, it’s not what you think.”

  Matthew glared at her, and Charlotte had never seen him more disappointed.

  “Matt, please,” she said, walking toward him. But he turned and left her standing there. He walked out into the night, and Tom shut the door behind him.

  “What kind of sick monster are you?” Charlotte yelled.

  “Hmmph. Darlin’, this is only just the beginning,” he said.

  Charlotte burst into tears.

  Chapter 37

  There was a time when Valentine’s Day had been one of Charlotte’s favorite holidays of the year, but not this one. Not when she’d been forced to have sex with some heartless maniac less than twenty-four hours ago and her son had nearly caught her in the act. She’d tried finding words to describe what it felt like, having your innocent child witness something so crass, but there weren’t any. Your child whom you’d carried around for nine whole months and would give your life for. The child you’d been trying to protect since the day he was born—the child who hadn’t spoken to you since he’d seen you standing in the middle of some tenth-rate hole in Wisconsin.

  Last night, right after walking inside the house, Charlotte had spoken to Curtis, who’d been down in his study working on the last part of his sermon, and then she had gone straight up to Matthew’s room to talk to him. But when she’d knocked on his door, he’d asked who it was, she’d told him, and he hadn’t responded. So Charlotte had eased his door open and gone in anyhow. As soon as he’d seen her, though, he’d turned his back to her and slipped on his iPod earbuds. He’d wanted nothing to do with her, and she’d had no choice but to leave him alone.

  Curtis strutted into the bedroom, dressed in a charcoal suit, pure white shirt, accented with a turquoise tie and matching silk handkerchief. “Don’t you look gorgeous on this beautiful and very blessed Sunday morning,” he said, complimenting her newest cream-colored, custom-made suit and matching four-inch, pointed-toe pumps.

  “Thanks,” she said, trying to sound upbeat. “You look pretty handsome yourself. Same as always.”

  “Here,�
� he said, passing her an exquisitely wrapped silver box.

  Charlotte was a little surprised because he’d already had the florist deliver two dozen roses to her this morning and had also given her a five-hundred-dollar gift card to her favorite local spa, along with a Jimmy Choo handbag. So she wondered what this was.

  “Wow,” she said, untying the wide red ribbon and removing the lid. She felt like melting when she saw a stunning pair of diamond and sapphire earrings. “You didn’t have to do this,” she said, hugging him. “Baby, thank you.”

  “I wanted to do it. You deserve that and so much more, and that’s why I spent the better part of the afternoon yesterday looking for them. So, as it turned out, I was glad you spent the day with your mom because it gave me an opportunity to go shopping for you.”

  “Now I feel like I should have gotten you something more, too.”

  “Please. You got me a Cartier watch, so what more did you need to get?”

  “Still,” she said, feeling even worse about taking a shower last evening and then telling him she was too exhausted to make love. But she just hadn’t been able to fathom doing something like that all the while knowing she’d had sex with that jerk, Tom, only a few hours before.

  “You’re funny,” he said, pecking her on the lips. “But hey, since we still have a little more time before we have to leave, I’m going to head back downstairs so I can trim down my sermon a little more.”

  “Okay. I’ll be down soon,” she said, still fighting back tears. She was terribly distraught, but when Curtis was out of sight, she went down to Matthew’s room. The door was slightly ajar, so she knocked and walked in. “Matt, I really need to talk to you.”

  Matthew acted as though he hadn’t heard her and never stopped looking at the television. He also still had on pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, so his decision to skip church was pretty evident.

  “Matt, please. I never wanted to be there. You have to believe me.”

  Matthew still ignored her.

  “Sweetie, you have to talk to me about this.”

  Matthew put on his earphones, the same as he’d done last night, and Charlotte knew there was no sense staying. As she walked back to her room, tears flowed down her face, and she couldn’t stop them. When she was back sitting on her bed, she cried more. Oh God, please give me strength. Father, please console my heart, and give me peace of mind. Charlotte prayed and then, suddenly, Curtina appeared out of nowhere. Charlotte looked at her and wiped her face with both hands.

  Curtina walked closer. “Mommy cry.”

  Charlotte wasn’t sure what to say, but Curtina took her little hand and now she wiped one side of her stepmother’s face, too.

  “Mommy cry,” she said again and Charlotte grabbed her into her arms, crying uncontrollably.

  Charlotte held her close, and to her surprise, she was comforted. She cuddled this child whom she’d walked around ignoring, resenting, and hating—this child she’d wanted out of her life forever. Charlotte hugged her, and Curtina finally said, “Up Mommy.”

  Charlotte knew what that meant, so she lifted her onto her lap, and Curtina tried wiping her tears away again. She stroked Charlotte’s face with both her tiny hands, and Charlotte had never been more grateful for anything. She also couldn’t remember having her prayers answered so quickly. She’d asked God for peace and consolation, and He’d given it to her through Curtina. It was all very strange, but it just went to show that God truly did work in mysterious ways. He was true to His Word, and Charlotte was quickly reminded of one of her favorite Scriptures, Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

  Charlotte had gone to Him, and He had delivered, like always.

  Chapter 38

  They’d been sitting and having breakfast for nearly an hour, yet Matthew still hadn’t said a single word to Charlotte. He simply had nothing to say, and there was only so much opportunity she had to try to talk to him when Curtis wasn’t around. She certainly didn’t want to beg and plead for his forgiveness and then have Curtis asking what she needed to be forgiven for. So she’d been very careful about the times of day she’d approached Matthew. Actually, she hadn’t thought she would have any chance trying yesterday evening at all, but then she and Curtis had decided not to drive over to Chicago the way they’d planned. They hadn’t gone because Curtis had insisted something was wrong with Matthew, and he hadn’t thought they should leave him. Charlotte had agreed wholeheartedly because she knew there was something wrong with him. Something major and extremely heart-wrenching. Curtis, of course, had thought maybe he was having a minor setback relating to Mr. Rush’s passing, but Charlotte knew otherwise. She knew Matthew was mainly distressed about his mother.

  She was just sick over Matthew making that trip up to Wisconsin and then finding her with another man, because she knew he would never forget it. Even when years passed and he had found a way to forgive her—she hoped—he would always remember that cold Saturday night in February when he’d driven a half hour from home, only to have his heart ripped out. Charlotte hated herself for this.

  “Son, what’s wrong?” Curtis asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Are you depressed about Mr. Rush?”

  “No.”

  “Well, you’re not yourself.”

  “I’m fine, Dad.”

  “Do you still want to attend his services tomorrow?”

  “No. I changed my mind.”

  “Why?”

  “I just did.”

  Charlotte saw the concerned look on Curtis’s face, and she was worried, too. It was bad enough Matthew had already been on an emotional roller coaster over the last week, and now there was this daunting thing with her. He seemed so downtrodden, and what hurt her the most was that he wouldn’t even look at her.

  “Mommy, look,” Curtina said, showing her some little doll she’d been playing with.

  Charlotte forced a smile on her face. “I see it, sweetie. She’s beautiful just like you are.”

  Matthew jerked his head up and finally did look at his mother. Even Curtis raised his eyebrows in disbelief and then smiled at her. This was the first time the two of them had seen Charlotte acknowledge Curtina genuinely, and she was glad they’d been able to witness it. To be honest, she was still a little shocked herself because not once had she ever believed she would feel good about Curtina, and she certainly had never counted on caring about her. It was as if she’d been changed in the blink of an eye, and some sort of spell had been cast upon her. But she definitely didn’t believe in witchcraft and knew, without a doubt, her astonishing change of heart was all God’s doing.

  Matthew slid his chair back, stood up and grabbed his book bag. “See you, little girl,” he said to Curtina, kissing her as usual.

  “Bye-bye.”

  “See you, Dad,” he said, bumping knuckles with him and then left for the garage. Charlotte wanted to cry, but knew she couldn’t. Matthew was really through with her, and she was glad Curtis had been so busy reading the newspaper, he hadn’t noticed anything—he hadn’t noticed that for the first time since Matthew had been a small child leaving for school, he’d left without hugging Charlotte.

  Curtis got up from the table. “Well, I guess I’d better get going, too. But when I get home, I think we should sit down and have a talk with Matthew. See what’s really bothering him. I do think it’s about Mr. Rush, but I just want us to be sure. I also think it’s time to consider counseling for him like we talked about.”

  Charlotte wasn’t sure she liked the idea of the three of them sitting down to do anything together. What if Matthew snapped and told Curtis everything? What if he’d had enough of his mother’s shenanigans, those from long ago and now her most recent act of mischief, and wanted to set the record straight?

  “Yes, I think we should,” she said, but only because she knew this was what Curtis wanted to hear.

  “I think he’ll be fine, but I also think we should be on the sa
fe side.”

  “I do, too.”

  “And thank you, baby,” he said, lifting her chin and kissing her.

  “For what?”

  “Putting forth so much of an effort toward accepting Curtina. You have no idea how amazing that makes me feel.”

  “It’s no problem,” she said, wishing she could tell him why she now saw Curtina in a different light: her little stepdaughter had consoled her when she’d been feeling her lowest yesterday morning.

  “I really wish you and I could have had an overnight trip, but I still enjoyed our dinner and, well, just being together.”

  “I enjoyed our time, too.”

  “We’ll still get downtown, though, and soon.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to work on your day off.”

  “I know,” he said and went over and slipped Curtina’s coat on. “Me, too. But I still have a lot to catch up on from last week.”

  “Well, have a good day,” she said. “You, too, Curtina.”

  “Bye-bye,” she said.

  When they were gone, Charlotte finished reading the latest issue of Essence and then called to check on Agnes. She’d arrived right on schedule this morning and fixed their breakfast, but then she’d left because she wasn’t feeling well. Charlotte hoped she was going to be okay, because February was definitely flu season.

  About an hour later, after getting her walk in, she went up to her office and signed on to Facebook. She hadn’t been on in the last couple of days and couldn’t wait to see what was new. The first thing she did, though, was check her inbox, and she saw that she had a message from Michael. She wondered why he was still trying to contact her after she’d explained that she couldn’t see him anymore. However, maybe he had good reason, so she opened it.

  Hey, when you get a chance, please call me. It’s urgent.