Triorion: Awakening (Book One)

by L. J. Hachmeister

  A cold shiver shook her to the core as she thought about her most recent experience: I went inside the monster.

  No—I was the monster.

  Jetta arched her head back and gritted her teeth, nails digging into her legs, trying to find release in physical pain.

  “Hey—you okay?”

  Jetta turned to see her sister framed by the doorway. Jaeia moved to sit next to her on the bed, but Jetta rolled away. She couldn’t tell her sister about her feelings or her nightmares; Jaeia would just try to talk her out of what she wanted to do.

  “I’m fine,” she lied. “What did you say to the admiral?”

  “I just thought—”

  “That he thought we were just natural born killers, right? Kind of like everybody else thinks?”

  “What do you mean?” Jaeia asked.

  Jetta pulled the sheets up from under her body, wrapping them haphazardly around her shoulder. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel it—and this is supposed to be a safe haven for us. The ones who know who we are fear us. It makes me sick. If it wasn’t for you, Jaeia, I wouldn’t want to be me.”

  Concern creased her sister’s brows as she searched for the right words. “You don’t mean that.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You’re not a bad person, Jetta, and neither am I. We just happen to be telepathic during a really bad time, and we’ve had some rotten luck. But we’re older now and have the ability to change things.”

  “You’re so funny, Jaeia. You try to act as if you don’t have the same fears as me, but you do.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” Jaeia said, sighing and turning away. “But I still believe in giving people a chance. And believing that things could be okay.”

  “We can’t win this war, Jaeia,” Jetta whispered.

  Jaeia rested her head on her knees and looked off into the distance. “Jetta, I love him too, you know. This isn’t easy for me either. We have to rely on each other now more than ever if we’re going to get through this okay.”

  Jetta massaged her stomach, hoping the pain would go away. She didn’t want to tell Jaeia, but if she was going to face her brother she had to. Closing her eyes, Jetta let the words come out without thinking.

  “I used my—my hidden talent on Tralora, and I killed the Northies. I made them suffer, too. I didn’t want to, but once I started, it felt good—very good.” She pressed her hands into her stomach, hard enough to make her grimace. “I liked making them pay.”

  Jaeia’s eyes widened.

  “But as soon as I realized what I had done, I just felt empty.” Jetta hid her face. “I don’t want to be a monster. I want to be a good person. I want to help you and I want to help Jahx. But I don’t know how to do it.”

  Jaeia protected her thoughts too closely for Jetta to read them. Seconds of silence passed like days as she waited for her sister’s reaction.

  “The best thing you could do right now,” Jaeia said evenly, “is take command with me when the time comes to face Jahx.”

  “Well, I haven’t given up on him like you have,” Jetta said angrily, shoving the sheets aside and tumbling out of bed. “I still believe there’s something we can do.”

  “What are you talking about?” Jaeia asked, standing pressed to the wall as her twin paced the floor.

  “I think you’ve been wrong about my nightmares. I think Jahx has been trying to contact me because he wants me—us—to save him. And it’s getting worse. I told you that I blacked out in the detention quarters because I was still recovering from the transition off of Tralora—”

  “Yes—”

  “—but it was another nightmare, and this time it wasn’t Jahx that I felt—it was the monster that’s hunting him. We have to help him.”

  Jaeia looked away, pain leaking from her thoughts, taking Jetta aback.

  “Okay, Jetta—let me see.”

  Jetta squared her shoulders. “Good—then maybe you’ll stop thinking I’m crazy.”

  Jaeia approached her with the same trepidation she had seen the first time she proposed murdering Yahmen. Jetta felt the urge to run, but held her ground. I have to show my sister—she has to believe.

  The coolness of Jaeia’s hands on her skin made her jump back a little. She took deep breaths, forcing her heart rate to slow. It frightened her to conjure up the memories of that dark place, but she tipped her head back, and the darkness submerged them both.

  Transferring her experience took only a matter of seconds, but in those short moments, Jaeia’s body went rigid as Jetta showed her everything, from the first nightmare to the most recent. They poured out of Jetta without restraint and seared Jaeia from the inside out like undiluted fire.

  Jetta held on tight to her sister as her knees buckled, slowly easing her to the ground. Jaeia lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, weeping softly. “Jahx...”

  Jetta sat down next to her. “Do you believe me now?”

  Eyes open but unseeing, Jaeia could give her no response. Her body shivered violently as tears spilled down her cheeks.

  There was no other way, Jetta told herself, feeling guilty for assaulting her sister which so much sensory information all at once. Now she knows why I can’t face Jahx—at least not the way everybody wants me to.

  Jetta crouched down next to her. “They should have taken me.”

  “What?” Jaeia said, emerging from her daze.

  “Because,” Jetta whispered, “in that place, Jahx is surrounded by nothing but evil. Even on Fiorah he always looked past that kind of ugliness, down to whatever speck of good was left in a Sentient. He always found something—or at least said he did—and that kept him going. I never did. I was able to thrive in the face of the worst souls the Starways has to offer. He’s suffering because the place he’s in—there’s nothing good there. It’s pure viciousness.”

  Terror-stricken, Jaeia could barely speak. “Jetta—”

  “I know I’m not as strong as Jahx. I don’t have the same telepathic reach as he does. I just wish they would have taken me. At least I would have been able to keep myself together there.”

  Turning away from her twin, Jetta closed her eyes and dipped back into the dark undercurrent that fed her desires. “And I would have destroyed them.”

  ***

  Jaeia wasn’t sure of her own intentions when she asked Admiral Unipoesa if she could visit the Healer. She needed to ask her about the flash transport device, but that wasn’t all.

  Old fears made her think the admiral would refuse an unauthorized, unsupervised visit between two telepaths, but to her surprise, he allowed it. She didn’t even have to stretch the truth or use her second voice.

  He trusts me more than I thought, Jaeia thought as she walked to the Healer’s quarters. Or maybe he’s desperate to keep me trusting him.

  Jaeia stood outside the Healer’s door, waiting for the guards to allow her access. As one turned to the keypad, the other scrutinized her, his eyes traveling up and down her body. She stepped backward as if to slide out from beneath his gaze, but he had turned the full wattage of his attention toward her.

  Jaeia sensed that he wanted to say something, but instead he switched the safety off his weapon.

  Why are you so afraid? Jaeia wondered, stepping inside hurriedly as the door opened.

  The Healer sat cross-legged in the middle of her quarters with her hands pressed together in front of her face, appearing to be meditating. Jaeia noticed that she had ripped the mattress off the bed and thrown it on the ground, leaving the pillows on the bed frame. Packages of food were cached in the corner nearest the mattress, and every light turned on.

  “May I come in?” Jaeia asked, hovering just inside the room. The guards shut the door behind her, and she heard a faint click as the security locks reactivated.

  Triel opened her eyes but did not deviate from her posture. “Are you feeling sick?”

  Jaeia shook her head. “I just came to see if you still had...”

  Triel relaxed her arms and extended
one of her legs. “The crew.”

  The echo of Triel’s thoughts told Jaeia that one of the crew members of the Wraith had obtained the device.

  “I’d like it back.”

  “What is it?”

  Jaeia shook her head. “I don’t know enough about it, honestly. One of the Exiles instructed me to hand it over to the Alliance.”

  Triel crossed her arms, not buying her ignorance. “I don’t have to tell you that we’re not exactly in an ideal situation, do I? That device is an insurance policy, and the crew of the Wraith, including myself, are now on that plan. If things get dicey, we’ll figure out a way to use it, whatever it is—and by your attitude, I can tell it’s valuable.”

  Jaeia chose her words cautiously. “That device is not meant as an insurance policy, or whatever you want to call it. People’s lives are at stake. If you were to sell it or destroy it—”

  Triel angled her head to her shoulder. The woman’s psionic presence brushed up against Jaeia’s mind, trying to inconspicuously sift through her thoughts. “Jaeia, I’m sorry how this worked out; it wasn’t intended to be against you. I’m actually surprised you don’t see it my way.”

  Jaeia considered using her second voice, but then she stopped herself. Triel was a Prodgy Healer, and the last thing she wanted to do was unintentionally cause her to Fall into a Dissembler state.

  “Look,” the Healer said, “it’s hard to make promises right now, but if things work out, I’ll give it back. If they don’t—if the Alliance or anyone else tries to hurt or manipulate me or any of my crewmates—then I’m truly sorry.”

  Jaeia’s first impulse was to go straight to the admiral, but a moment’s thought made her hesitate. First of all, the Alliance couldn’t possibly use the device for the upcoming battle. Back on Tralora she’d barely had enough time to absorb Senka’s knowledge of its operation, and even then, regenerating the flashed matter was theoretical. Secondly, she knew better than to think that she and Jetta were free people; it would be prudent to have allies like the dog-soldiers.

  Most importantly, she didn’t have time to argue with Triel over what was rightfully hers; there were other more pressing issues at hand. As much as it pained her, she’d have to wait for a better opportunity to secure the safety of her friends.

  She stood near the couch that took up an entire wall of Triel’s room, brushing her fingers over the fabric on the nearest arm. She didn’t like the way the thread felt against her fingers, but the distraction of it eased her tension.

  Softly, Triel added: “You might not believe me, but I do feel badly about taking what was yours.”

  (Can I trust her?)

  Although Jaeia couldn’t entirely remember being restored by the Healer, she remembered the aftereffects: a sense of calm, even when it should have been impossible. Just like how Jahx used to temper situations when I couldn’t.

  “Make it up to me then.”

  Triel looked at her curiously. “How so?”

  “The battle coming up—it’s something I don’t think I can prepare for.”

  “Facing your brother?”

  Jaeia sat down on the couch and brought her knees to her chest. “Worse—facing my sister.”

  “You two have very different outlooks,” Triel said, tilting her head to the side.

  “That’s an understatement,” Jaeia said, laughing weakly. “Since our brother isn’t with us anymore, our connection isn’t right. Imbalanced, I guess, is the best word. But the worst part is that even though Jetta knows she’s out of control sometimes, she doesn’t really want my help. In the end, she thinks she can do it all herself.”

  Jaeia thought back to what Jetta had said: “I was able to thrive in the face of the worst souls the Starways had to offer... At least I would have been able to keep myself together there...”

  It was more than just Jetta’s overconfidence—she was angry that Jahx was chosen over her. Deep down Jetta believed that she was the most powerful telepath, not Jahx. Jaeia had never seen her sister act or think the way she had lately, and her growing unpredictability scared her.

  “I—I don’t know what exactly I’m asking for, other than your help.”

  “Because I’m a telepath?” Triel asked.

  “Yes, but also because...” Jaeia said, trailing off. She couldn’t find the right words, maybe because she really didn’t understand her own trust in the Healer. She hardly knew Triel at all. She tugged at the ends of her sleeves. Jetta would certainly disapprove.

  But Jahx would be—

  “Jaeia,” Triel said, interrupting her thought. “I don’t know how much help I can be to you, honestly. I’m having a hard time dealing with things myself these days, and you know how dangerous that is for my kind.”

  Normally Jaeia would have never taken rejection personally, but in this case, she did, and she couldn’t help her resentment.

  “Well, I hope you feel better.”

  As Jaeia walked back to their quarters, each step she took seemed heavier and heavier. She didn’t really want to be there, alone with her sister and her temper, but she didn’t want to be anywhere else either.

  “Jahx,” she whispered. “If you’re really out there, help me.”

  ***

  Triel came upon the dog soldier captain as he usually was: naked. Except for the bandages that covered his hands, Reht preferred to wear as little as possible. Not that Triel minded, really. Reht had a slender, muscular build, and though he bathed infrequently at best, she found his natural smell intoxicating.

  Since Mom considered nakedness unclean, Reht typically avoided nudity in the common areas of the ship, but his den was fair game. As she stepped inside his private quarters, she saw him reading a newsreel with one leg on the bed and the other on the floor. Finding him spread out like that made her blush, but she didn’t turn away.

  “You still have the package I gave Bacthar, right?”

  Reht put down his smoke and gave her his best impression of being hurt. “Starfox, please.”

  Triel wished she was a more attuned telepath right then; she needed to know exactly what he was thinking.

  “What do you intend to do with it?” she asked outright.

  Reht feigned interest in the newsreel as he took a long drag. “We’ll see. I’m not sure what it is or what it does, but if those launnies nabbed this thing off Tralora, then it’s most likely Narki. Tech nearly pissed himself when I had him take a look, so I’m sure it’ll fetch a good price. In other words, I’m keepin’ it. You know the Alliance is gonna screw us the minute this thing is over. We need a ticket out.”

  “I know, Reht, but you can’t sell what isn’t yours.”

  “Well, maybe I’ll do it to get you back. I can’t believe you’re still servin’ those Alliance chumps,” Reht said.

  “I’m tired of fighting about this. You know it’s important that I see this thing through.”

  “Of all the—” Reht started.

  A call from the overhead com interrupted him. “Cappy, you expecting a launnie?”

  Reht grumbled and threw the newsreel on his bed. “What the hell? Did you set this up?”

  Triel shook her head.

  “I ain’t putting pants on, so no, send her assino away.”

  After a pause, Ro got back on the com. “You wanna see her, Cappy. Sorry.”

  The smoke dropped from Reht’s fingers, and he nearly jumped out of his seat as the burning end singed the hairs on his thigh.

  “That little rat bastard—why the hell did he let you in here? I’m busy!” Reht yelled as Jaeia walked through the door with Cray at her heels.

  What is she doing here? Triel thought. Jaeia appeared composed, but the Healer sensed her nervousness through her body’s stress responses.

  “I came about the device that Triel took for me. It’s very important. The lives of my friends depend on it.”

  Reht smiled, and Triel knew that she had just confirmed his suspicions about its importance.

  “Cray, it’s alright,�
� the captain said, shooing him away.

  “But Cappy, Ro said—” he protested.

  “Now!” Reht shouted. He then turned to Jaeia. “Look little miss, your sister was pretty smart, so I’m assuming you are too. That’s a good thing, ‘cause I’d hate to have to explain to you what a chakked situation this is for me and my crew, and that I don’t do rescue missions for free.”

  Jaeia stood her ground. “You don’t know what it is, or how to work it, Captain Jagger.”

  “Yeah, but you do,” Reht said, slouching back in his chair. “And you’re gonna tell me.”

  “Why do you think that?” Jaeia asked.

  Triel looked back and forth between them. Reht had a devilish grin on his face and Jaeia seemed calm, but both of them were faking it.

  “Because you owe me and you owe her,” Reht said, pointing at the Healer. “I pulled her out of hiding and risked my crew to bail your assino out of that rabbit hole. Hell, you know you owe it to her.”

  Keeping the surprise off her face proved difficult. Reht’s never employed this kind of tactic before.

  Jaeia gave a slight twist to the sleeves of her jacket, but otherwise her face and body betrayed no emotion. Triel could tell she had trained herself to be like this, and it piqued her curiosity.

  “Right now I don’t know what to think of you, Captain Jagger. Part of me is encouraged, really; I guess this means that you think Jetta and I can pull this thing off. But another part of me is disappointed. I guess I was wrong when I assumed that the reason you risked your crew and your Healer in the first place was because you saw the bigger picture. It was never about you or me, really.”

  Triel covered up her smile. This girl is good. She saw right through all of Reht’s gorsh-shit, straight to what made him a bad dog-soldier, but a decent man.

  Reht chuckled and stood up, readjusting himself in the process. Jaeia swallowed hard and jerked her eyes back up to Reht’s face as he strode forward.

  “Launnie, I can’t decide if I want to kill you or induct you into the crew. Reminds me of a young Starfox, yeah?” the captain said, wrapping his arms around the Healer. His touch distracted her for a moment, and she melted into him. She’d forgotten how much she liked the simplest things from him. “Well, what do you think, Starfox? Should I give the launnie’s toy back?”