Ashes of Life

by Erica Lucke Dean

  “Fine.” I blew my hair out of my face and sighed. “Are you sure you’re okay with Ben being there? I know what people will think and say, but you don’t think it’s weird?”

  Maddie rolled her eyes. “For the last time… no. I don’t think it’s weird. I like Ben. And who else is going to take care of your neurotic ass?” She smirked.

  “Maddie!”

  “Hey, you know I’m right.”

  “You girls ready?” Ben’s voice echoed up the stairs, and I flinched.

  “Crap! I’m not even dressed.” I went back into the closet to grab the teal sundress from its hanger. After I pulled it over my head and studied myself in the mirror, I gave Maddie a wink. “You’d better be right, smart-ass.”

  She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “When am I wrong when it comes to fashion?”

  I barked out a laugh. “I’ll remind you of that next time I see you in the Cookie Monster getup.”

  “Knock, knock.” Ben leaned into the room. “Time to go, ladies.”

  Natalie pulled me in for a hug.

  “Thank you so much for coming.” I gave her a tight squeeze then backed away to wipe at a stray tear. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “You got it. We’re hitting the mall first thing in the morning.” She grinned at Maddie. “And no backing out.”

  “I know, I know.” I’d resigned myself to let them pamper me if it made them happy. “I’ll be there with bells on. Just make sure you have my chai and vanilla bean hot and ready when I get there.”

  “Deal.”

  Natalie caught up with Father John and the rest of David and Sarah’s friends, leaving our little group alone at the gravesite. A twinge of something resembling jealousy squeezed my chest as I stared down at the matching headstones. I didn’t think I’d ever really be okay with having my husband buried beside his ex-wife, but for Maddie’s sake, I’d never regret the decision. The look of pure gratitude on her face when she’d realized what I’d done made the gesture worth it.

  Maddie and Grey had turned to walk away, hand in hand, so I hadn’t expected Maddie to rush back, practically knocking the wind out of me with a crushing hug. “Thank you.”

  “Wow.” I hugged her back, fighting against the urge to cry again.

  She let me go and hugged Ben. There was a sparkle in her eyes as she whispered something in his ear. He nodded then kissed the top of her head before she joined Grey at the edge of the path, and the two of them wandered off together.

  “What are you two up to?” I eyed Ben’s secretive expression.

  He ruffled his hair and dropped his eyes to his shoes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Uh huh.” I took his hand and tugged. “You ready?”

  “Actually…” He tilted his head and regarded me for a long moment. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have a minute or two with David before we go.”

  My heart jumped. “With David? Why?”

  “I just think he and I need a moment alone.” Ben leaned in and pressed his lips to my hair. “I won’t be long.”

  “Okay.” I strolled toward an old bench under a nearby oak tree and sat to watch Ben out of the corner of my eye. I couldn’t make out his words, but his body language and the set of his jaw told me he was having a serious conversation, the sort of thing one didn’t take lightly. He faced Sarah’s grave for a moment then he turned toward me, and his entire face lit up with a smile.

  “Everything okay?” I asked as he approached the bench.

  “It is now.” He sat beside me and squeezed my hand. “I felt I needed to clear the air with David before moving on.”

  “Clear the air?”

  “Yeah. I needed to let him know I would take care of his girls. Both of them. I know he’d do it himself if he were here, but since he can’t be, I asked his permission to take over.”

  For the umpteenth time that day, I found myself fighting back tears. “And what did David have to say about that?”

  “Well, I think he resisted at first. I had to convince him of how much I love you and how good we’d be together. Eventually, he caved.”

  I choked back a sob and a laugh at the same time. “He was always a bit of a softy.”

  “Oh, he was a tough sell.” Ben fidgeted with something in his pocket. “But in the end, I’m pretty sure he gave us his blessing.”

  I nodded toward Ben’s closed fist. “Whatcha got there?”

  “What, this?” He held up his hand but didn’t open it. “It’s nothing.” He smirked and moved to shove it back into his pocket.

  “Oh, it’s definitely something.” I grabbed for his fist, but he was too fast. “Is it for me?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, can I have it?”

  “Yes.” He slipped his arm around my shoulder and tugged me toward him. “But not today.”

  “Someday?” I nestled into his warmth, staring out at the lilacs in full bloom around us.

  “Definitely.” Ben laid his hand on the slight swell of my stomach, reminding me that despite where we were, life carried on.

  Dear Reader,

  We hope you enjoyed Ashes of Life, by Erica Lucke Dean & Laura M. Kolar. Please consider leaving a review on your favorite book site.

  Visit our website to sign up for the Red Adept Publishing Newsletter to be notified of future releases.

  Acknowledgements

  First and foremost, I’d like to thank Laura Kolar for being the best critique partner and sounding board a writer could ever have. Back before either of us had signed our first publishing contracts, I called Laura to tell her I had an idea for a book loosely based on my relationship with my stepdaughter, Mady. But I knew I could never tackle the project without her as a partner. Thus began our journey writing this heart-wrenching story of love, loss, and discovering family.

  Laura and I would like to thank everyone along the way who helped make this book become a reality.

  To my girls, Lauren, Alexa, and of course, Mady, for sharing their insights into the mind of a teenage girl. We would’ve never known what “molly” was without you. And you didn’t even flinch when throwing yourselves under the bus when we needed help writing those scenes about sneaking in and out of the house undetected. Thank goodness, I found out about that after the fact and not before.

  To Laura’s daughter Ava, for being way too young to know about anything written within the pages of this book! Don’t grow up too fast. You’ll have plenty of time to give your mom gray hair later.

  To Lucy Carson for being kind enough to take the time to review our unpolished manuscript. Your invaluable advice helped make the story even better.

  To Michelle Rever and Karen Allen—the best editors ever!—for taking the raw material that was Ashes of Life and polishing it until it shone.

  To Erin Schirer, Lizzy Vance, Louise Flynn, Lauren Dean, Rachel Bongart, Marilyn Higgins, and Katie Moretti for being the best beta readers ever.

  To Julie Wagner, who not only did a beta read, but also guided us in the right direction when we were writing those tough medical scenes. And to Nicole Moscou, for helping us stay on pointe with the ballet scenes.

  To Red Adept Publishing—and the best publishing staff anywhere—for picking us out of the slush pile all those books ago and dusting us off. Without you, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

  To our families and friends, for supporting us in this crazy endeavor. Being a writer is often a thankless job. The outside world doesn’t always understand what goes into that finished novel they pick up from their local bookstore, or online retailer, but to those who’ve watched our struggles (and triumphs) over the years… you get it. And we most definitely appreciate it.

  And lastly, to all the non-traditional families out there struggling to make things work in
a difficult world, here’s to you. For fighting the good fight. Don’t give up just because it’s hard, because in the end, nothing worth having is easy.

  Wait… (Laura here) I wasn’t done! I wanted to thank Erica for asking me to work with her on this project. We didn’t always agree on the path we were taking, but we always knew we wanted to reach the same destination. And by God, I think we nailed it!

  About the Authors

  Erica Lucke Dean

  After walking away from her career as a business banker to pursue writing full-time, Erica Lucke Dean moved from the hustle and bustle of the big city to a small tourist town in the North Georgia Mountains, where she lives in a 90-year-old haunted farmhouse with her workaholic husband, her 180 lb lap dog, and at least one ghost.

  When she’s not writing or tending to her collection of crazy chickens and diabolical ducks, she’s either reading bad fan fiction or singing karaoke in the local pub. Much like the main character in her first book, To Katie With Love, Erica is a magnet for disaster and has been known to trip on air while walking across flat surfaces.

  How she’s managed to survive this long is one of life’s great mysteries.

  Laura M. Kolar

  Laura M. Kolar lives with her husband and daughter in a one-stop-light town in northern-lower Michigan. Though she didn’t discover her love of books until she turned thirty, as a self-declared hopeless romantic, she has spent the past few years reading and writing stories with mostly happy endings.

  If she’s not at her day-job or with her family, you will find her sipping a cup of chai latte while sitting in her favorite rocking chair, hunched over her laptop writing or spending entirely too much time on Twitter.