The Little Gift Shop on the Loch

by Maggie Conway

  It wasn’t just the physical act of swimming. What really appealed to her was forgetting everything. It was impossible to think of anything except surviving in the water. Loch Carroch was a seawater loch and not as cold as freshwater lochs. But although the shallows warmed up during summer, Lily knew it would still be cold enough for hypothermia to be a real danger.

  Lily’s eyes scanned the shoreline which was still quiet, with only a few fishermen in the distance who no doubt wouldn’t be pleased if the swimmers chased away their catch. A small break in the clouds allowed for some sun to filter through and feeling warmer now, she removed her leggings and top, creating a neat little pile on top of her towel. Earlier and not without a struggle, she’d wriggled her way into the wetsuit and now she could feel it mould to every inch of body as she kicked off her trainers.

  ‘Going for a swim?’

  Lily spun round at the deep voice. Of course it had to be him. Her pulse quickened at the sight of Jack Armstrong looking at her, his expression suggesting he found the idea surprising.

  He was dressed in waterproofs and his hair was damp. The smallest of smiles played on his lips and for a moment it was as if she couldn’t see anything except the shape of his mouth which looked incredibly sensual. Lily almost jumped back when she realised she was staring.

  ‘That’s right.’ She flicked her hair over her shoulder, aiming for a haughty nonchalance she certainly wasn’t feeling. The thought of the freezing water was already making her insides roll about uncomfortably and now his presence was making it decidedly worse. His eyes did a quick skim over her wetsuit making it feel even tighter than it already was.

  ‘I didn’t know you were a swimmer.’

  ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me,’ she quipped.

  ‘True,’ he acknowledged. ‘Perhaps I’ll find out more in time.’

  ‘I think we’ve established I won’t be here long enough for that to happen. I’m here to sell the shop and leave, not to get involved,’ she said rather primly, wondering for whose benefit she was saying that.

  He nodded, studying her for a moment before speaking. ‘You’ve swum in the loch before?’

  She rolled her shoulders. ‘My mum used to go swimming and she’d let me swim in the shallows with some of the other kids. We’d jump off the old jetty.’

  He smiled, remembering. ‘There were only a few boats then, that was my Saturday job when I was at school.’

  ‘I used to see you at the boats.’ Lily had no idea what possessed her to say that, especially as he was regarding her now, his expression full of curiosity.

  ‘You used to watch me?’

  ‘I wasn’t watching you,’ she clarified, squirming slightly. ‘And as I recall you were usually surrounded by a fan club,’ she said dryly.

  ‘Occupational hazard,’ he chuckled before looking at her again. ‘You weren’t ever tempted to come over and say hello?’

  ‘No,’ she lied.

  ‘Didn’t think so.’

  ‘Why not?’

  His eyes sparkled and he held her gaze. ‘Because I would have remembered you.’

  Lily felt her cheeks flush pink, and she was unsure how to respond. ‘What are you doing here anyway?’ she huffed, wishing he’d go away. It really was quite irritating the way he looked so pleased with himself.

  ‘I’ve been out on the loch canoeing with a bunch of kids early this morning so I jumped home for a quick coffee.’ He inclined his head to where Lily could just make out a stone building through the trees.

  ‘That’s where you live?’

  He nodded. ‘I bought it a couple of years ago – I don’t think anyone else wanted to take it on as it was fairly dilapidated but it’s perfect for me being near the centre. I’m in the middle of doing it up.’

  ‘Nice commute,’ she commented, wondering if he lived there alone.

  ‘Sure is.’ He smiled, his eyes crinkling. ‘Can just roll out of bed if I want.’

  Lily tried to blink away that particular image, beginning to feel jittery. Her mind seemed to be confusing her with her younger, immature self who used to go weak-kneed at the sight of him. She was not that person anymore.

  ‘You okay? Not having seconds thoughts, are you?’

  Uncertain if she’d imagined the challenge in his voice or not, Lily felt something ignite within. Suddenly she knew she definitely wanted to do this, to prove to herself – and him – that she could do this. It seemed so long since she’d done anything spontaneous or carefree and she felt all her earlier misgivings evaporate. She met his gaze full on. ‘Of course not.’

  Just at that moment, Lily heard voices and swivelled her head round to see Iris waving at her, beckoning her over.

  ‘I need to go.’

  ‘Enjoy your swim. Oh – and I’m one of the lifeguards so take care out there otherwise you’ll be seeing me sooner than you think.’

  The quick smile he gave her didn’t quite reach his eyes but still managed to turn Lily’s legs to jelly despite their tight encasing, forcing her to take a moment to compose herself before moving to join the others.

  A group of them were wind-milling their arms and stretching as Lily made her way over to them. Iris’s face was lit up with delight as she came bustling over to Lily. ‘I’m so glad you decided to join us, Lily! You won’t regret it.’

  Lily could only look on in awe as Iris stripped down to her swimsuit. A hardened outdoor swimmer, she shunned a wetsuit. ‘Going for the full sensory experience, I see?’

  ‘Nothing quite like it.’ Iris smiled beginning her warm-up routine. ‘I see you were talking to Jack.’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ Lily replied, her teeth beginning to chatter.

  ‘All this stunning scenery to look at and him too,’ she said with a teasing wink.

  Lily kept her features neutral. Tall, powerfully built and probably far too handsome for his own good, she couldn’t really dispute Iris’s assessment of Jack.

  Iris sighed wistfully. ‘I might be an old lady but I can still appreciate a good-looking man when I see one.’

  Thankfully, she stopped singing any more of Jack’s praises and took Lily by the arm, gently propelling her towards a man also preparing for his swim. ‘Ah, there he is now. Come on, there’s someone I want you to meet. He and your mother were good friends and I know he’s keen to meet you. Angus, this is Patty’s daughter, Lily.’

  He was a bear of a man, tall and solid. His face was handsome and weather-beaten and his pale grey eyes beneath a shock of white hair regarded Lily intensely. His voice when he spoke held a strong Highlands lilt. ‘It’s good to finally meet you, Lily.’

  He took one of her hands in two of his, appearing to study her for what felt like a long time.

  ‘Patty spoke about you often.’ Even the twinkle in his eyes couldn’t disguise the sorrow Lily saw in them when he mentioned her mother.

  ‘It’s lovely to meet you too.’ Lily didn’t recall Patty mentioning Angus – not that she would have expected her to – but something about him and the way he continued to look at her gave Lily the impression he knew her mother well.

  ‘She’s decided to join us today, Angus,’ Iris explained.

  Lily gave a small laugh through her chattering teeth. ‘Although right now I’m trying to work out exactly why. I’m freezing and I’m not even near the water yet.’

  ‘Do you remember what we always used to say?’ Iris coaxed. ‘From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. From the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.’

  Lily smiled, remembering their old mantra.

  A strange sense of trepidation and purpose seem to hang in the air as everyone made their way to the water, along with the question; why on earth would anyone do this?

  ‘Remember,’ Iris encouraged, ‘block out your fear – just think of all those endorphins.’

  Lily turned with a silent nod and made her way to the water. She didn’t jump like some of the swimmers did. Instead she sucked in a deep breath and stepped forwar
d, letting the water make contact with her feet. Fighting her body’s instinct to jump straight back out, she forced herself to take another few steps, wading in deeper until the water reached her waist, the water feeling like a hundred small electric shocks against her skin.

  She started to swim immediately, frantically kicking her legs to keep her core temperature up. Her senses shot into overdrive, every nerve end in her body screaming as the freezing water clawed at her limbs.

  She gulped several times, her breathing ragged, and panic almost took hold but somehow she kept going, forcing herself to swim, pushing and pulling her arms and legs against the water until her breathing started to settle and then thankfully, mercifully, endorphins kicked in.

  Everyone stayed close together, looking out for each other until cold, shaking and exhilarated, they emerged from the water. Her fingers numb and her jaw shivering, Lily wrapped a towel around herself, rolling off her wetsuit and piling on the extra layers she’d brought with her.

  All the swimmers made their way to a sheltered spot and huddled round as a flask with coffee was poured into cups. Lily shared a grin with Iris and took a sip of the steaming liquid; coffee had never tasted so good. She glanced over and saw Jack at the shoreline. He bent down to pick up some oars and Lily tried not to notice the way his wet clothes clung to the shape of his body. Turning suddenly, he caught Lily’s gaze and she felt goose bumps prickle her skin. She quickly averted her eyes, taking another sip of coffee. She hadn’t felt so alive in years.

  ***

  One hour and a hot shower later, Lily was munching on some hot buttered toast, scrolling through some jobs when she heard a knock from the downstairs door. She quickly wiped her hands and went to open the door, surprised to see Angus, the man from the swimming standing at the door.

  ‘Oh, hello.’ Lily smiled.

  He was holding his hat, looking awkward. ‘I hope you don’t mind my dropping by?’

  ‘Of course not. Would you like to come in?’ Lily offered.

  She led him through to the shop and inside, he suddenly appeared much larger. He was wearing brown corduroy trousers and a checked shirt under a thick fleece jacket. There was a quality about him that Lily instantly took to; she instinctively knew he was a good man, solid and dependable.

  His fingers worked the rim of his cap, his feet shuffling and Lily realised, whatever the purpose of his visit, it wasn’t proving easy for him.

  ‘Would you like a tea or something to drink?’

  ‘I’ll not keep you, lass,’ he replied with a shake of his head. ‘I’m heading home for a rest after the swim, it doesn’t get any easier,’ he joked. Lily strongly suspected he was fitter than most men half his age.

  ‘Where is it you live?’ she asked.

  ‘One of the cottages by the caravan park, only been there a few years, mind.’

  Lily remembered the lochside cottages, she and her mum had been regular visitors at Iris’s. ‘So you’re close to Iris?’

  ‘Next door but one.’ He smiled fondly and paused for a moment. ‘I moved there after my wife died.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

  ‘We had thirty-five happy years, more than a lot of folk get and for that, I’m grateful. After she passed away, well, I was just about to retire anyway so I decided to move. Not sure someone my age can make a new start but I wanted to be somewhere different. So I moved here a few years ago and that was when I got to know Patty.’

  Lily sensed his hesitation, as if he was considering carefully what to say next. ‘I just wanted you to know that your mother meant a great deal to me.’

  ‘You and my mum were close?’ she asked gently.

  ‘We were. I didn’t seek it or expect it but we became good friends and were very fond of each other. And I hope this doesn’t sound odd or anything but I wanted you to know that I was there for her. I’m not sure why I’m telling you or if it will make any sense. I certainly don’t want to make things more difficult for you.’

  When she’d been younger Lily had sometimes wished her mother had someone in her life, someone to share things with. She’d been aware of a few relationships over the years but had never been introduced to anyone and as far as she knew, there had never been anyone serious. Patty herself had never given the impression of needing or wanting anyone, she’d always been supremely self-contained but of course that hadn’t stopped Lily worrying at times.

  Neither was Lily surprised that Patty hadn’t mentioned Angus to her – that wouldn’t be something she would do. It was just one of the things she had grown to accept; her mother lived her own life and never felt the need to tell Lily things or share things with her, it wasn’t the way she worked.

  Now with Angus standing in front of her, Lily felt as if she was beginning to gather pieces of her mum’s life. Things she hadn’t known about. But far from feeling he’d made things difficult for her, she was comforted and touched by what he had just told her and sought to reassure him. ‘I’m very happy you’ve told me – and it does help.’

  He seemed to visibly straighten, as if a load had been lifted from his shoulders and he gave a gentle smile, inclining a hand around the shop. ‘Is there anything I can help you with?’

  ‘That’s kind of you. But I think it’s just a case of working my way through everything.’

  ‘Patty used to talk about it, she wasn’t in a hurry though,’ he said. ‘Iris mentioned you were selling.’

  ‘Yes.’ Lily rubbed a patch of skin on her wrist hoping she’d imagined the disappointment in his eyes.

  ‘You must do what’s right for you,’ he told her, repeating Iris’s words. ‘Now, it’s time for me to go before I fall down,’ he joked. He turned to her. ‘You’ll be here for a wee while yet?’

  Lily swallowed. ‘A little while, yes.’

  She saw him to the door and as she watched him walk away, Lily couldn’t help wondering if he had said all he had come to say.

  Chapter 8

  It was Friday morning, the sun was shining and the journey had started well. Lily and Iris were heading to Dallochmore Estate, trundling along in Iris’s ancient Mini. When Lily had explained about finding the Highland Aromatics products, Iris had been on board with the idea of going to visit Beth on the estate and as she had nothing else to do, had suggested she drive with her. Lily had been happy to have her company.

  They hadn’t even left the village when Iris’s ancient Mini appeared to slow down of its own accord. The engine emitted an ominous sound and the car came to a spluttering stop.

  ‘Oh dear.’ Iris frowned.

  Lily and Iris both got out and looked helplessly at the car as if somehow their desperate stares could magically fix whatever was wrong. Lily was just wondering what on earth they would do now when she heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. She turned to see a battered Land Rover pull up on the road behind them. Jack Armstrong jumped out, his eyes quickly running over the car. ‘Trouble, Iris?’

  ‘Oh, thank goodness,’ Iris breathed in relief. ‘I’m glad to see you, Jack.’

  Lily didn’t know if she was glad to see him or not. The image of him at the loch yesterday had been lodged unhelpfully in her mind and watching him now as he opened the bonnet and leaned over the engine was doing nothing to dissipate it.

  ‘Looks like the alternator,’ he said knowledgeably. ‘I’ll phone Billy at the garage for you. Do you need a lift somewhere?’

  ‘We were heading to Dallochmore,’ Iris told him, before launching into an explanation of the reason for their visit.

  Jack looked between them then lifted an eyebrow at Lily. ‘I’m on my way there now to the distillery. My offer still stands.’

  ‘You offered already? Well, that’s ideal then, isn’t it?’ Iris exclaimed.

  Jack gave Lily a told-you-so look and she felt her stomach drop. She hadn’t wanted to accept his lift the first time round and nothing had changed. Except now there were two pairs of eyes on her, waiting expectantly. ‘I can go another day,’ she muttered, knowing she
sounded truculent.

  ‘But you were so keen to meet Beth. Let Jack take you,’ Iris insisted. ‘I don’t want you missing out.’

  Lily hid her sigh. She’d had her heart set on seeing Beth but suddenly it felt like a distraction she didn’t need – and she had the feeling Jack Armstrong could be very distracting which she definitely didn’t need.

  He smiled at her now and despite herself, she felt some of her doubts disappearing. He’d helped Iris in looking after the cat and had rushed to get her cream when she’d been in danger of being eaten alive by midges so clearly he wasn’t all bad. She returned his smile with a conciliatory shrug. ‘Okay. Thanks, I’d appreciate it.’

  Within minutes Jack had the situation under control and they didn’t have long to wait until a pick-up truck had come, taking Iris and her beleaguered car to the garage, leaving Lily and Jack alone.

  He opened the passenger door for her. ‘Sorry about the mess,’ he apologised with a mild grimace, his eyes darting to the back seat which was covered in mounds of paperwork and a laptop. ‘This place tends to double up as my office and I keep meaning to sort it all out.’

  Lily took her seat, briefly wondering what paperwork he needed for fixing boats. She felt her fingers fumble with the seatbelt, suddenly far too aware of his proximity as he took his seat beside her at the driver’s wheel.

  ‘You all set?’ he asked after waiting for her to settle.

  ‘Yes, thanks.’

  As Jack checked the mirror and pulled away, Lily found herself wondering if he was always this relaxed. He looked as if there was nothing life could throw at him that he wouldn’t be able to handle. Some people were like that she supposed, negotiating their way through life without much angst.

  Lily on the other hand, wasn’t relaxed at all. She could feel her pulse racing and she was oddly uncomfortable with this whole situation. It didn’t help that Jack appeared to have smartened himself up today, his clean-shaven jaw and swept-back dark hair only managing to make him look more attractive. She found herself thankful they had nothing in common otherwise she suspected those looks were quite capable of reigniting her old crush which really wasn’t what she needed right now.