by J. H. Croix
Daisy smiled softly, her eyes warm. “Of course not, but even though you’re different, there’s a part of you that’s the same. I’m just not sure that Harper is a fling type. I’d have said you were a nester. I’d say the same about Alex too. He’s just got that vibe.”
“A nester?”
“Yeah, you nest into relationships and make them cozy.” She shrugged and waved a hand. “That’s not what you want right now. I’m backing off because you know what? If you want a sex fling with Alex Gordon, who am I to tell you not to go for it? God knows, plenty of women will be jealous. He’s got that whole hard-to-get vibe down to a science. Even worse, he’s not even trying. It’s just the way he is.” She grinned and reached over to squeeze my hand. “Just know if you need me, I’m here.”
***
That evening, I almost jumped when my phone buzzed on the table. Stanley was seated at my feet with his giant head resting on one of them. I leaned forward and snagged my phone off the coffee table to see Alex’s name on the banner.
Walking to your place now. See you in a bit.
I grinned and then laughed aloud at myself. I was downright giddy over seeing Alex again. Maybe I was crazy, but I didn’t particularly care just now. Stanley lifted his head, his solemn blue gaze assessing me. “Okay, Stanley, you had your walk, so now you can nap while I go out to dinner,” I informed him.
I didn’t care whether or not he knew precisely what I was saying. I talked to him anyway. My father had gotten Stanley for me from a rescue program in the months after Joe raped me. Stanley had been my rock of solace in the loneliest, darkest time of my life. After a moment, he nudged my calf with his nose.
“Oh right!” I jumped up, suddenly realizing if Alex was on his way, I needed to be downstairs to meet him. I grabbed my purse off the table and a jacket by the door. Stanley padded to the door and looked up expectantly. “Be good,” I said, quickly leaning over to drop a kiss on the top of his dappled gray head. I knew he’d most likely sleep straight through until morning. Once he’d had his evening walk, that’s what he did.
After locking the door behind me, I jogged down the stairs, realizing as I reached the bottom that I hadn’t walked anywhere morning or night when it was close to dark in years. I likely wouldn’t have now, yet Alex would be with me, so the question of fear didn’t even cross my mind. I saw him approaching and walked outside to meet him. Waiting on the bottom step, my pulse kicked up a notch just watching him walk toward me. He was a near perfect specimen of pure masculine strength. He was on the tall side, his form muscled and sleek. His shoulders flexed with the swing of his arms. He stopped in front of me, his eyes level with mine from where I stood a step above the sidewalk.
It was early evening and the sun was setting. The light was smudgy and gray, and the sky streaked with pink in the distance over Puget Sound. Alex looked to me, his brown eyes dark and unfathomable. In a flash, the air around us felt heated. His mere presence made me hot inside and out. That recklessness rose within, and I wanted to grab onto him and drag him upstairs. But I held back. I was bound and determined tonight wouldn’t end with him putting the brakes on anything, yet I knew if I was too demanding, he’d hold the line.
“Shall we?”
The low timbre of his voice sent a shiver over my skin. My belly clenched and heat slid through my veins. I couldn’t seem to form a word, but I managed a nod and stepped down to the sidewalk. Without a word, we began walking. We were meeting at a restaurant roughly a fifteen minute walk away. I’m not sure who reached for whose hand, but somewhere along the way, I found my hand clasped in Alex’s. His hand dwarfed mine—his grip strong and warm as he held my hand lightly. My attention narrowed to that point of contact, savoring it. My mind wandered to what his hands felt like on my skin.
By the time we reached the restaurant and Alex ushered me inside, I was hot and bothered to the point of ridiculous. I wasn’t sure what the occasion was, although I’d come to learn Liam liked to eat. A lot. He liked Olivia with him all the time, so he tended to round up friends for no reason other than dinner together. We were meeting at a place I’d never been tonight—an Italian restaurant that was one of the latest new favorites in Seattle. The entryway was crowded. Alex ignored everyone and guided me through with his hand on the curve of my back. He leaned down. “Liam texted they were already here,” he said, his gruff voice sending a jolt of need through me.
Goosebumps rose on my skin at the feel of his breath feathering against my neck when he spoke. I had to remind myself we were in public and melting on sight might be embarrassing. I managed to nod and kept walking. Alex winked at the hostess when we reached the small stand where she stood. That’s all it took for her to abandon whatever she was doing and smile at him. “What can I do for you?” she asked, actually batting her lashes at him.
“We’re meeting a party here. Liam Reed.”
I saw the recognition in the hostess’s eyes the moment she connected Alex to Liam. They were both well known in and around Seattle since they’d been signed by the aggressive management for the Seattle Stars. Seattle aimed for international attention with their soccer team, and Liam, Alex and their other British teammates were part of that push. “Oh yes, Mr. Gordon. Right this way,” she said with a beaming smile.
Her eyes never flicked my way. If Alex was affected in the slightest by her, it didn’t show. If anything, he looked more bored while she chattered brightly at him as she led us across the restaurant to a large round table tucked into a corner at the back of the restaurant. Liam and Olivia sat together with Liam’s arm thrown across her shoulders as he laughed at something Tristan Wells said. Tristan was the fourth soccer player recruited from Britain. Of them, I’d seen him the least since Olivia had started dating Liam and I’d been brought into the orbit of their world. While Liam and Ethan were the fun-loving flirts, Alex and Tristan were more somber. Tristan had black locks that were almost always rumpled and hazel eyes. As would be expected given most of his life was dedicated to playing soccer at an elite level, he was in incredible condition. I’d gotten to know him a little and learned he was finishing up his coursework for medical school. How he managed that while he played professional sports was beyond me.
Olivia glanced up. “Oh hey! You’re both here. Sit,” she said, patting the chair beside her.
I rounded the table and slipped into the seat, suddenly aware that I’d been so zoned out over Alex I forgot we were in public. Alex sat down beside me without a word. This wasn’t unusual. In fact, his tendency to be quiet was probably why I hadn’t talked to him much before the last few weeks. Liam leaned forward. “Glad you made it, mate,” he said with a wink and an easy grin.
Alex smiled slightly. “You knew I’d make it,” he replied in greeting.
“Right you are,” Liam said with a shrug. His bright blue eyes landed on me. “And the lovely Harper. How are you?”
For the thousandth time, I could do nothing other than laugh at his greeting. Liam was an unabashed flirt. If he wasn’t so ridiculously in love with Olivia, someone who didn’t know him might wonder. He insisted on calling me lovely, I think, because he knew it bothered me a little. With a roll of my eyes, I replied, “I’m fine, Liam. You?”
“Right as rain,” he replied with a wink before turning to Alex again. “Okay mate, bets on how much we’ll win our next game by.”
Alex shrugged and chuckled softly. “Pass.”
Liam rolled his eyes and promptly swung to Tristan. “You were right.”
Tristan smiled slightly, but stayed quiet.
“Right about what?” I asked.
Olivia caught my eyes with a smile and a slow shake of her head. “Tristan said Alex wouldn’t bother guessing. No one will bet with Liam, so he’ll be pestering me next.” She paused to take a sip of wine and tuck a loose curl behind her ear.
Liam grinned and reached for the very curl she’d just pushed out of the way. He pulled it out and let it go where it bounced against her cheek. She flushed and rolle
d her eyes. With her dark curls, ivory skin and green eyes, Olivia was the lovely one. Until Liam, I’d occasionally wondered if she’d ever focus on anything other than work. It was good to see her with Liam. Beyond the fact she actually had a life outside of work now, they were silly happy together. With their dog Bentley, they were their own unit now. My thoughts spun to my earlier conversation with Daisy. I knew why she questioned me and the whole fling idea, but thinking beyond that made me uncomfortable inside. I worried if I started wishing for more, that itself would get in the way.
As if conjured by my thoughts, Daisy strolled up to the table, stopping at the edge and scanning those of us already seated. “Well, hello then. I suppose I’m late.”
Tristan glanced up at her. “You’re still not later than Ethan.”
Daisy beamed and sat down with flourish beside him. “That’s why I like you, Tristan. You’re so exacting.”
Tristan arched a brow but said nothing more. Within moments, conversation carried on around me. A waiter arrived to take our orders and somewhere in the middle of that, Ethan arrived. Alex and I were seated just where the table was tucked into the corner. It felt almost as if we were in our own bubble with comments bandying back and forth and around us, yet everyone seemed content to let us lay low. We were each respectively the quietest of our clusters of friends. Here and there, I noticed Daisy’s gaze flicking to us curiously, but she held back from teasing, which was a miracle, all things considered.
The food was genuinely delicious. Seattle’s trendiness was sometimes a problem, or so I thought. New places would spring up and be declared amazing, yet didn’t always fit the bill. The food here met my standard for amazing. I drank more wine than I probably should have. With Alex’s close presence revving my nerves and adrenaline to high idle, I sought relief in the subtle buzz. I hadn’t realized when, but his hand had landed on my thigh under the table. In the midst of Ethan telling a rambling story about a game they won a few weeks ago, I lost focus on everyone around us, my attention zeroed in on Alex and Alex alone. The heat of his touch branded me. His thumb stroked in idle passes just on the inside of my thigh. I was slick with need from nothing other than his subtle touch.
My breath was shallow, and damn me to hell, but I wanted him so badly I was frantic inside. My pulse was running off wildly, and I scrambled to get my body under control. I made the mistake of glancing to him. His hooded gaze met mine, his eyes like dark chocolate. His look was so fierce, I felt a hot throb at the apex of my thighs. I suddenly didn’t give a damn what anyone might wonder about us and stood abruptly.
“I need to get home,” I blurted out.
Ethan stopped mid-sentence, his teasing gaze perusing over me. “Am I boring you?” he asked in his slightly haughty British accent.
I shook my head sharply. “Not at all. I just have to go. Stanley probably needs a walk,” I lied, trying to come up with some reason. All I knew was I couldn’t keep sitting here, or I’d tackle Alex.
I started to push past Alex, but he stood quickly. “I’ll walk you home then.”
My body sent up a hallelujah.
As I hurried around the table, I caught Daisy’s knowing glance and Olivia’s curious one, but I ignored them. My body was of two minds—either I’d have Alex, all of him, tonight, or I’d at least tear myself out of this hours long teasing foreplay. I’d never have considered sitting beside someone for dinner foreplay, but with Alex it was.
I walked quickly through the restaurant and pushed through the doors outside. Cool rain hit my heated cheeks, reminding me I’d forgotten to get my jacket. I started to turn back, only to find Alex right behind me. Without a word, he held my jacket for me to slip on. Once it was settled over my shoulders, his palms slid down my arms. I shivered, more from the feel of his touch than anything.
Chapter 9
Alex
I walked beside Harper, fighting an all out war inside my head. My cock had been rock hard and ready for a good hour. Bloody hell. Just sitting beside her had been a torment and a tease all evening. If my body had its way, there would be no more waiting. So there was that, and then my damn it all to hell conscience. I knew it would infuriate Harper, but I couldn’t help but wonder what was driving her like this. I also couldn’t keep the fact of her rape out of my mind. I didn’t know for certain, but I definitely got the sense from Olivia that Harper hadn’t dated anyone since it happened, so it wasn’t likely she’d had sex either. She didn’t strike me as the type to seek out casual encounters, which mucked my brain up even more because I didn’t know what she was after with me. Oh, I knew we had chemistry, hell we had enough chemistry to burn down a house. Yet, I didn’t know what lay beyond that. I knew for me, Harper wasn’t just a way to get my needs met. She was a hell of a lot more than that.
I almost stumbled when she came to an abrupt stop outside my apartment steps. Since my apartment was a few blocks closer to the restaurant than hers, I’d expected to keep walking. She turned and looked up at me. She hadn’t bothered with the hood of her jacket, so her hair was damp. The dark locks gleamed under the streetlights. “How’s Callie?” she asked.
For a beat, I was puzzled before my brain kicked into gear. I’d forgotten she’d encountered me checking on the little stray calico who’d been camping under the stairs. That had been the last time she’d gone and blown my mind by kissing me. My mind skipped tracks to the feel of her flexing against me as she came all over my fingers. I gave myself a mental kick. Not now, mate.
“Callie’s still hanging around. Let’s see,” I stepped to the base of the stairs and looked underneath. Callie’s eyes caught the light as she turned my way. She was snuggled into the blanket I’d left there for her. I started to straighten and almost collided with Harper who’d leaned down to look.
“Oh, she’s all cozy,” Harper said softly.
Harper glanced me to, her face inches away, and it was all I could do not to kiss her. My heart beat a hard rhythm as I looked at her. She reached a hand toward Callie, carefully keeping it far enough away so as not to be threatening. Callie leaned her nose forward and sniffed before shifting back again and eyeing us cautiously. “I wish she’d come in. It’s wet and cold out,” Harper said softly.
“Aye. You and me both. My landlord’s been feeding her too. Between us, I figure she’ll eventually decide it’s safe to come inside.”
I straightened and took a breath. I needed a minute to get some kind of control over my body. In the battle between my mind and body, my body definitely held the upper hand. Harper stood and looked up at me. Drops of rain rolled down her cheeks and before I realized what I was doing, I was wiping a drop away from under her eye. I froze, my eyes locked to hers. Lust hit me like a bolt. Barely holding the gates closed against the rampaging need Harper elicited, it took every ounce of discipline I had not to lift her in my arms and find the closest place to bury myself inside of her.
She held still, her eyes searching mine. Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and spun around, tugging me up the stairs behind her. She tried to open the door to my building, but it was locked, logically so. She spun back, her eyes flashing. “Let me in.”
I doubted she meant it that way, but her words held a double meaning. What she didn’t know was she was already burrowed so deep inside of me, I was knocked back on my heels. This wasn’t a place I was accustomed to. Rather, my years of working to be everything my father wasn’t had whetted my discipline and control. Being a goalkeeper day in and day out under the high pressure of the international football world honed qualities of calm, cool, collected and razor sharp attention. Harper rattled me in more ways than one. Right now, all I wanted was her, but I knew she wanted nothing but all of it, and I didn’t know if I had the ability to hold back.
She grabbed my shirt, fisting it in her hand, and yanked me to her. Her head banged against the door behind her, and I reflexively reached to catch her. Between her tugging me toward her and me reaching for her, her lips were suddenly within a whisper of mine. My body went
taut, every fiber flexing toward her, unable to resist the surge of lust.
I dragged a breath in and thought for a second I’d latched onto a thread of control. She tightened her grip on my shirt and locked her eyes with mine. It felt as if a match lit the air between us. With cool drizzle falling all around us, the air felt electric. I couldn’t think over the drumming of my heart and the blood shooting straight to my groin. I yanked my keys out of my pocket and reached around her to open the door. She stumbled back when it gave way. I did what I’d wanted to do for weeks and lifted her into my arms. I meant to bundle her against me, but she was having none of that. Her legs curled around my hips. In the jumble, her lips crashed to mine and my control, frayed beyond all reason, snapped. I held her tight against me and kicked the door shut behind me.
With every step I took, Harper’s tongue warred with mine. She kissed with wild abandon. Considering I was nearly on fire inside, it was a tangle of lips, teeth and tongue. I shouldered through the door into my flat, tearing my lips free from hers to groan when she rocked her hips against me. By some small miracle, I didn’t stumble and fall getting to the bedroom and managed to turn and sit down. She was still tangled around me and shoved my jacket off my shoulders. Her hips sank down on me, and bloody hell, it felt so fucking good to feel the heat of her against me. I shook my arms free from my jacket and tossed it aside before gripping her hips and holding her down, arching into her. My cock was so hard it ached, and all I could think about was the sweet slick heat I knew awaited me.
She cried out, her eyes whipping open. Dark blue gaze flashing, her lips parted on a low moan when I flexed into the cradle of her hips. She stared at me and for a flash I saw the wheels start turning in her brain. I did the opposite of what I’d have expected had I been in a rational state of mind. In that scenario, I’d have thought perhaps we shouldn’t rush through this. Not with the weight of her past in the room with us. Yet now, with the air nearly vibrating with the force of desire between us, all I knew was if there was only one thing I could give her, it would be to tumble headlong into this wild pulse of longing, lust and then some between us.
