Love Returned

by Mildred Colvin

  She smiled and shook her head. “Not tonight, but may I have a rain check?”

  “Sure.” Scott’s warm smile stirred something inside Megan more than attraction. She felt drawn to him as if she belonged with him, and she hadn’t belonged anywhere for more than ten years.

  “I’ll count on it, then.” Megan motioned toward her nephew. “Come on, Derek, your grandmother will be wondering where you are.”

  Megan drove out of the parking lot with a wave for Scott and Randy. She dropped Derek off then drove to her own house across town.

  With the TV turned to old sitcoms, Megan settled in the corner of the sofa while her thoughts drifted back to Scott and Randy. Every encounter with Scott brought out the missing pieces of her life. She had Shelly and Derek, but they were not her life. They were only an extension to a life she’d chosen to live alone. Scott made her believe there could be more.

  She leaned her head back while Scott filled her mind. She would’ve liked to slip her arms around his waist and ride with the wind lifting her hair. What had stopped her? Her mother’s disapproval? The flush of battle rose within until she blocked her mother from her thoughts. Scott’s wife probably rode with him. What had he said about her? She had long, black hair.

  Megan jerked upright and snapped off the TV with the remote. She stared at the blank screen. Black hair? Scott’s hair was so dark it was almost black. His eyes were blue. Randy had brown eyes and ash blond hair. What color had his mother’s eyes been?

  She touched the long, blond strands of hair covering her forehead and brushed them to the side. Randy’s hair was the same color as hers. Her eyes were also brown.

  Scott had said something at Rosey’s about Randy. Something important. Like a mischievous insect darting in and out, the thought played with her memory. That had been a week ago, and she hadn’t paid close attention. Oh, why couldn’t she remember?

  ~Six~

  Jason filled Megan’s dreams. Images danced through her mind so real they became memories more than fantasy.

  “I’m pregnant, Jason.” Megan wrapped her arms around her waist to stop the quivering inside.

  The wind teased Jason’s dark hair as they stood outside Hampton Hall. His eyes, a shade darker than hers, held no warmth as he stared at her.

  “What do you expect me to do, Megan?” Jason’s voice rose. His scowl deepened. “How do I know the kid’s even mine?”

  Megan’s eyes widened. How could he say such a thing? “Of course, it’s yours. There’s been no one else.”

  “I took precautions.”

  “You’re a pre-med student, Jason. You know nothing is guaranteed.”

  Jason looked at his wristwatch. “One thing is. I’m going to medical school, and I have a class in a few minutes. You’ll have to take care of your own problems. I can’t help.”

  Megan’s eyes burned. How could he say such a thing? Maybe he’d lied when he said he loved her, but this was his baby they were talking about. Didn’t he care for his own child? She squeezed her waist even tighter. “You can’t mean that. This is your baby, too.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m not claiming it.” He took a step away. “You knew my plans when we started dating. I told you I’d be a doctor. If you’re trying to trap me into marriage, forget it. I won’t be ready to settle down for years.”

  Although she struggled to hold them, tears slid from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She brushed them away, but more followed.

  He sighed. “You don’t have to cry. If it makes you feel any better, I’d go half with you on an abortion. That’s the best I can offer.”

  He moved away. “I’ve got to go. Let me know how much you need.”

  Megan opened her eyes and stared at the lamp on her bedside table while the memory of Jason faded. Her gaze shifted to the clock, and she rolled from bed. She had to be at school in an hour. Why had the past intruded now, leaving her with a nagging headache when she could do nothing about it anyway?

  ~*~

  Monday evening at the high school, Megan called the boys to her. All except Randy. Scott was late again. Her mood lifted when she saw his motorcycle glide to a stop inside the gate. He and Randy jogged across the grass toward them.

  “Gather around.” Megan waved the stragglers to the asphalt track. With her toe, she pointed out the painted line already on the track. “This is our starting point. Scott, if you don’t mind going about halfway around the field to encourage and help if needed, I’ll stay here and record their time. Boys, remember to walk if you have to. Don’t overdo it. You’ll make two laps around the track. Are there any questions?”

  When Scott got into position, Megan blew her whistle and the boys started. Some took off at a fast run, but soon slowed. Others set a pace, and a couple of boys, after running awhile, slowed to a walk. Scott spoke and smiled at each boy as they passed him. He’d make a great leader.

  The boys jogged by her once, and she called out encouragement to the slower boys. Derek and Randy ran together as if they were a team. Randy grinned and waved as he ran toward her on his first lap. The swell of love and pride that swept through Megan’s heart surprised her. A lock of blond hair lifted and fell in rhythm to his run. Hair the color of hers. Dark brown eyes like Jason’s and hers. A knife-like pain pierced her chest. Life wasn’t fair. Randy should be her son.

  Oh, what was it Scott had said about Randy? Something that made her think he might be adopted. Why couldn’t she remember? Had she only imagined it because she’d connected so well with Randy? How pathetic was that?

  The lawyer in Columbia told her to forget her baby. He assured her he’d found a loving, Christian couple who would make wonderful parents. He said he knew them personally and could vouch for their character. She had nothing to worry about. She needed to get on with her life. Find a husband and have children of her own. As if her baby wasn’t really hers.

  “Megan, here I come.” She turned at the young voice, but couldn’t see for tears blurring her eyes. She swiped them away and lifted her stop watch as Tyler drew near.

  “All right, I’m ready.” The next few minutes flew by as she recorded the time for each of the boys on their fitness progress chart.

  Scott jogged around the track to congratulate the runners. Megan shook her head at him. He didn’t want to make a commitment, but he was better with the Webelos than anyone else she’d worked with. “Come on, guys.” She started away. “Let’s go back to the church and get in a few more exercises while the weather’s nice and we have the time. “You’ll like “Paper Crunch,” and “Trunk Stretch.” Oh, and “Leg Stretch” is the most fun of all.”

  “Is that right?” Scott fell into step with her. “Sounds like torture. What might those exercises be?”

  She smiled. “Fancy names for hand and back exercises, and…” She patted her stomach. “Ab-tightener.”

  By the time they’d done several exercises, parents began arriving. Megan brought the den together to say the Cub Scout Promise then let them go.

  “I’ll walk you to your car.” Scott lifted her satchel and stayed beside her.

  She looked from him to his motorcycle. “Would this be a good time to cash in my rain check? Julie is still here. I don’t think she’d mind keeping an eye on the boys for a few minutes.”

  A slow grin spread across his face, letting her know he remembered offering to give her a ride. “As good a time as any.”

  She got Julie’s ok, and they stopped at her car to toss the satchel inside. At the motorcycle, Scott clamped a hand on Randy’s shoulder. “You don’t mind if Megan borrows your helmet so she can take a little ride, do you?”

  Randy swung toward Megan with a wide grin. “Megan’s going to drive your bike?”

  Megan laughed and ruffled his hair. “Hey, don’t think I couldn’t. But no, your father is giving me a ride because he thinks I’m too chicken to get on this big...”

  Megan’s voice faltered as she eyed the large motorcycle. “Huge...teetering...death machine.”


  All three males laughed at her. “Ah, Aunt Megan, you can do it.” Derek looked wistfully at the bike.

  Randy nodded. “Yeah, I ride with my dad all the time, and he hasn’t crashed yet.”

  “So with that recommendation, are you ready to climb aboard?” Scott grinned at her.

  Megan took the helmet Randy handed her. “Sure, why not?”

  Scott straddled the bike and put his helmet on while Megan got comfortable behind him. When he brought the bike to life with a deafening roar, she wondered when her good sense had left. But she couldn’t back out now. They rolled forward a few feet to stop at the street and then took off. Megan tossed her inhibitions into the wind as it rushed past and put her arms around Scott. If only Mom could see her now! Megan smiled with a sense of freedom she hadn’t known in a long time.

  “Having fun?” Scott’s voice sounded near her ear inside her helmet.

  “Hey, you’ve got a radio in this thing.”

  He chuckled. “Yep. Randy and I can talk on trips that way. So are you? Having fun?”

  “Yes, I am, and I’m surprised. Now I know why you ride.”

  Scott’s voice so close warmed her. “Besides the fact it’s less expensive, you mean?”

  Megan laughed. “Oh yes, that, too.”

  He drove around the church in a large square and then headed back to the parking lot. When he stopped, she climbed off and handed the helmet back to Randy. “Thank you so much. That was fun.”

  “Why don’t you give the helmet to Derek? That is, if it’s all right for him to ride?” Scott looked at Megan for permission.

  She smiled at her nephew. “If his mother is thinking of letting him ride a dirt bike, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

  Derek’s eyes shone and a smile covered his face when he reached for the helmet. “Oh, wow. Wait until Mom hears about this. Thanks Aunt Megan. Thanks Scott.”

  Megan thanked Julie and waved her off then she and Randy leaned against her car while they waited. “So are you worn out from all those exercises?”

  His smile, so sweet and innocent, called to every maternal instinct in her body. Her arms ached to hold him close, but she couldn’t touch him. He wasn’t hers.

  He shook his head. “Nah, I had fun tonight.”

  “Then you like Webelos?”

  “Yeah, it’s fun. You’re a good leader, Megan.” His eyes brightened. “I’m glad we went camping.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad you did, too. And I’m glad you and your dad moved here. I’m surprised he didn’t decide to live in Columbia closer to his job.”

  Randy shrugged. “Yeah. Dad likes small towns. He grew up in the country.”

  “What’s it like there on your grandparent’s farm?” Megan relaxed and listened to Randy’s voice. His dark eyes shone, and the streetlight reflected off his blond hair. Pretending he was her son was so easy until the roar of Scott’s motorcycle brought her to reality. Randy wasn’t hers. He never had been, and he never would be.

  Later at home, Scott and his willingness to help with Scouts filled Megan’s mind. Offering to give Derek a ride was extremely nice. Scott Landis stood a little taller in her estimation than any other man she knew. Randy stirred something special in her heart. Even if he wasn’t her son, he was a sweet boy.

  She’d lost her son nine years ago, and she was doing fine. She didn’t need this interruption with Jason invading her dreams and being tormented by pretending every little blond-haired boy she saw was hers. Scot said he’d put his past, including the loss of his wife behind him. She should do the same.

  She bowed her head. “Lord, please let me find release from this pain. They said my baby went to a couple who couldn’t have children, so he’ll probably grow up alone. Be with him wherever he is, and keep him in Your care. Help me give him up in my heart. I need to put my past behind me so I can live in the present as You want me to. Amen.”

  No miraculous insight sprang up within her and her heart seemed as heavy as before. What would it take to find the release she needed?

  ~*~

  When Megan checked her answering machine after school the next night, she found several messages. Most were parents asking for information about the upcoming hike. Joe wanted her to call him as soon as she got home. She called the parents first.

  “Yes, that’s right. We’ll meet at the church at one on Saturday afternoon. See you there.” Megan hung up from the last parent and stretched as she stood. Time to rummage in her kitchen for something to eat. Guilt nagged her for not calling Joe, but she ignored it and pulled a casserole from the refrigerator. Every Sunday after church, Shelly invited her to dinner, and every Sunday Megan found an excuse to say no. Still, her sister gave her leftovers.

  She inserted a gospel CD into her player and listened to the rousing sounds of a quartet while she ate. Listening to music kept her from feeling so alone.

  The songs portraying God’s love ministered to Megan through her meal and the quick clean up afterward. She left the player on when she went into the living room and hummed along until her gaze landed on the phone. She couldn’t put it off any longer. Joe wanted her to call, so she might as well get it over with.

  “Hi, Megan.” Joe sounded as chipper as ever. “I just wanted to touch base with you about our hike on Saturday.”

  “Okay, what do you need?”

  “First off, do you know how many parents are going from your den?”

  “One that I know of.”

  Joe made a noncommittal sound. “Not bad. Let me guess. Derek’s mom, right?”

  “Shelly?” Megan rolled her eyes. Why would Joe need to know about her den parents? She could handle her own den. “No, Shelly usually works on Saturdays.”

  “Too bad.” Joe cleared his throat. “Do your kids know to bring something to eat for when we get to the prairie?”

  Megan shook her head. He wouldn’t give up, but at least he didn’t press for the name of her helper. “Yes, Joe. I told them last night. I plan to call all my parents either tonight or tomorrow night to remind them.”

  “Permission slips?

  “Most have already turned them in. If the others don’t bring them Saturday morning as requested, they won’t be allowed to go. I’ve told them the rules.”

  “Good.” Joe’s voice indicated he was all business. “I got the trip permit back from the district office today, so we’re set as far as that’s concerned. I can’t think of anything else, can you?”

  “No.”

  “Then how about going out to eat with Cody and me tonight?”

  Megan breathed a sigh of relief, glad she’d waited to call. “I’m sorry. I’ve already eaten. Shelly left a tuna casserole for me Sunday night, and I just finished it off.”

  “Is she a good cook?”

  “Who, Shelly?” What was this sudden interest in her sister? “I don’t know. Our mother does most of the cooking.”

  “Is that right? Guess I’d better get off here and make some calls to my guys.”

  “All right. I’ll see you Saturday, Joe. Thanks for calling to remind me of everything.” Megan replaced the receiver and leaned back, closing her eyes. Today had been long and hot. The kids didn’t seem to be bothered by the heat in their west-facing classroom. But she felt the drain on her energy every year at the beginning of school. Surely October would bring cooler weather.

  ~*~

  On Saturday, Megan parked beside Scott’s motorcycle in the church parking lot. He stood in the yard with a cluster of boys around him. Derek slammed her passenger door and ran to join them. She got out and shaded her eyes against the morning sun. The boys appeared to be looking at something. She headed toward her den.

  “What’s so interesting?”

  “Show our den leader what we found, Michael.” Scott grinned as one of the boys held out his hand.

  Michael held a tree frog. She smiled. If Scott thought she would scream and run, he’d better think again. “Too bad that fellow’s already grown up. We’ll be collecting tadpoles
later on to put in our own aquarium so we can watch them develop into frogs.”

  “Hey, cool.” Several of the boys looked at Megan with large, shining eyes.

  “Today we have five miles of rugged terrain to conquer, so you’d better put that frog back where he can find something to eat.” She met Scott’s lifted eyebrows with a smirk and mentally chalked one point up for herself.

  “How are we doing with permission slips?” Joe strode over.

  Megan did a quick look around. The two boys who hadn’t returned their slips hadn’t arrived yet. She took what she had from her briefcase and handed them to Joe with a smile. “Here you go. Everyone here is covered.”

  “Good.” Joe flipped through the papers before giving Megan a nod. “Looks like we’re all set. Are you ready?”

  “As much as I’ll ever be.”

  “Let’s move out, then.” Joe gave two sharp blasts to the whistle he wore on a chain around his neck. Boys from all over the church yard came running.

  “Den one, front and center.” Joe called from his position across the yard. His second-year Webelos ran and scuffled their way to his side where his assistant, Tom Stevens, quickly lined them up two-by-two.

  “Den two, fall in.”

  “That’s us. Come on, boys.” Megan ushered her boys into place behind the older boys. Scott followed.

  Joe’s whistle split the air with three sharp, but blissfully short blasts. From his position in the lead, he lifted his arm in a full-circle motion. “Let’s move out.”

  The boys started off in high energy, but two and one half miles later, by the time they reached the prairie reserve, they all fell to the ground in a heap.

  “Come get your cold energy drink.” Joe and Tom headed toward a van parked to the side. Janice Stevens climbed from the driver’s side and lifted the hatch.

  The boys’ exaggerated show of exhaustion disappeared as they jumped up and ran to the van.