For You I Will

by Donna Hill

  “Hello, Crystal.”

  “I thought you were going to have Jessie call me.”

  “I know. She’s been sleeping.”

  “All day? Come on, Tony.” She paused. “What’s wrong? I know something’s wrong and you’re not telling me. What is it? Tell me!”

  “Relax, Crystal. Jessie isn’t feeling very well.”

  “What the hell does that mean? She was fine when she left me.” The accusation was clear as glass.

  “She’s coming down with a cold. She has a fever.”

  He heard her muttering a string of curses.

  “I knew I shouldn’t have left her with you. First you let her wander out of the house and God knows what could have happened and now you tell me she has a fever. I’m coming home. I’ll be on the first flight in the morning.”

  “Crystal!”

  Kai jumped at the sound of thunder in his voice.

  “Kids get sick. Jessie will be fine. I’m her father! I can take care of my daughter.”

  “Apparently not.”

  The barb stung. “Look, you want to come home, fine. That’s up to you. I’m done arguing with you about Jessie.”

  She hesitated. “I want to speak to her. And if she’s asleep wake her up. I want to hear her voice.”

  He gritted his teeth and went back into Jessie’s bedroom. For his daughter he put on a smile. “Guess what, baby, Mommy is on the phone. She wants to talk to you.” He handed Jessie the phone.

  Kai got up and left the room. She went back into the kitchen and checked on the food. She stirred the soup and turned off the flame. Clearly tensions were still high between him and his ex. Whatever vague idea she may have had about herself and Anthony Weston was out of the question.

  Jasper sat down at her feet and looked up at her as if he understood her dilemma. “Oh well, boy.” She reached down and scratched his ears.

  Anthony walked out into the kitchen. Tension radiated around him like an aura. His lean body was coiled and ready to spring.

  “The soup is done. I’m going to go on home. I’ll leave the thermometer and the Tylenol.”

  Anthony looked at her as if suddenly realizing she was standing there. “I’ll get your coat.” His voice was devoid of any emotion and she wondered if that was the way he was when he was prosecuting a case. Cold and detached.

  Kai followed him to the front of the house and put Jasper back in his carrier. In silence, he helped her with her coat.

  She turned and looked up at him. His eyes burned right through her. Her heart tumbled in her chest. “Every two hours, then three, then four,” she said softly.

  He nodded and opened the door. “Thank you for coming.”

  She stepped out into the drizzle, hoisted the straps of Jasper’s carrier over her shoulder and walked to her ride.

  Just another house call, she told herself. Then why did she feel so crappy?

  Anthony watched from the window until the headlights of Kai’s vehicle disappeared into the night. Then he turned and walked away.

  Chapter 9

  Anthony walked toward Jessie’s bedroom but stopped at the kitchen. Steam from the pot seeped out from beneath the top. The aromatic scent of the soup filled the kitchen and his head. The past couple of hours were the most comfortable and serene he’d spent in longer than he could remember. There was an ease about Kai that calmed the churning tide that always simmered beneath the surface of his otherwise cool facade. When he was with Kai, working in the kitchen, he felt a lightness in his soul that had been missing for much too long.

  It had been that way with him and Crystal in the beginning, the first year or maybe two. She had blamed their disintegrating relationship on his job. That may have been part of it, but the part that she would never own up to was that he worked harder and longer hours to make the life for her that she craved: the town house on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, vacations, clothes, the newest appliances, a nanny for Jessie, hair appointments, weekly massages, flitting from one school to the next trying to find herself—the list was long and endless.

  Then he worked longer and harder so that he wouldn’t have to come home until he was sure that she was asleep or at least pretending to be asleep. He stayed away so he wouldn’t have to listen to her complaints and her ceaseless demands for withdrawals from his trust fund that his parents had left him. He often wondered if that was the dominating part of the attraction for Crystal...the large fortune.

  In the beginning, her clinging and girlish delight at the things that he purchased for her boosted his male ego. Her “woman needs her man” persona fed his machismo. He wanted to take care of her, give her what she wanted—all the things she’d missed as a child moving from one foster home to another. He lived to make her life better. In the beginning.

  He’d come home one evening after a grueling day in court. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. All he wanted to do was go home to a nice dinner, a hot bath and deep sleep. Instead, he came home to find Crystal surrounded by a mountain of shopping bags on the bed and clothes and shoes all over the room and not a scent of dinner in the air.

  He dropped his briefcase on the floor, jolting her from a very animated conversation on her phone. She turned but barely looked at him, whispered something into the phone and disconnected the call.

  “Hi,” she greeted, not really meeting his eyes.

  “What is all this, Crystal?” He waved his arms around at the chaos.

  “All what? I went shopping. I needed some new things.”

  “New things! Are you out of your mind? How many new things can you wear? Have you seen the last credit card statement?”

  She folded her arms and pouted. “No. Don’t you take care of the bills?”

  “You’re damned right, I do. I take care of everything, Crystal. This house, the clothes, the cars, the trips, the classes. Everything. What do I get out of the deal? Can I ever come home to dinner with my wife? Can we even have sex without you acting like it’s a chore? Can we have a conversation that is more involved than some reality television show crap?”

  “Maybe if you paid me some attention instead of that damned job of yours, things could be different!” she snapped back and jumped to her feet.

  “Oh, really. And who do you think is going to pay for all of this?” He picked up a shopping bag by the handle and tossed it across the room. “Huh, who? You?”

  “You never thought much of me. Never. You always saw me as some unfortunate waif that you had to rescue. You can’t rescue me, Tony. Don’t you get it?” she said, planting her hands on her hips. Her eyes filled with tears.

  Anthony stared at his wife and saw her for the first time. Really saw her. She was right. He couldn’t save her. She didn’t want to be saved. But whatever it was that she wanted he knew he couldn’t give it to her.

  Slowly he bobbed his head. “You’re right and I’m going to stop trying.” He strode across the room, pulled open the closet and took out his suitcase.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Leaving.” He began taking his clothes out of the dresser and some shirts and suits from the closet.

  “You can’t leave,” she said, the fight in her voice replaced with a plea.

  He glanced at her over his shoulder as he continued to pack. “I’m leaving. We’ll work out the details later.”

  Crystal grabbed his arm. “You can’t leave me.”

  He straightened and stared hard at her. “It’s over. There’s nothing between us, at least nothing that money can buy. You’re right, I can’t save you from whatever is nipping at your heels.” He turned back to finish packing.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  His head whipped toward her. His eyes creased to two slits. “What?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  He looked
her up and down. “I don’t believe you.”

  She hurried over to the nightstand and pulled the drawer open. She snatched out a piece of paper and brought it back to him, shoving it at him. “Believe me now?”

  He looked down at the grainy black-and-white image. His stomach knotted. His gaze lifted to meet hers.

  Now the tears freely flowed down her cheeks.

  So he’d stayed and for a while things were good again. Her pregnancy was uncomplicated and he did everything he could to make it as easy as possible for her anyway. And then Jessie was born. His beautiful baby girl who he would lay down his life for. And every day he loved her more and for every day that he loved his daughter, Crystal slowly returned to the woman he’d vowed to walk away from a year earlier. Finally he did.

  She believed he didn’t know about the man she was seeing. It didn’t matter, really. They’d stopped sleeping together before Jessie was born, but at least he’d remained faithful. The hard part was the doubts that sometimes crept up on him in the dark hours of the night. The hushed phone calls. The unexplained hours away. Was Jessie his daughter? But then when he looked at her and held her and she called him Daddy, it didn’t matter. It didn’t.

  He drew in a long deep breath and pushed out the past. He walked to the stove and lifted the lid. Time and care had gone into the healing brew. But not even time or care could have saved his marriage. It had been his one megafailure. He’d allowed that soft part of him to rule. What he did know for certain was that he’d never allow himself to be that open and vulnerable again. Ever.

  He got a bowl from the cupboard and ladled the soup into it. He prepared a smaller one for Jessie and took them both to her room and was happy to see that she was awake.

  “Hey, baby. I brought you some soup.” He set the bowls down on the nightstand and pulled a chair up next to her bed. “Hungry?”

  She nodded.

  “Good. Sit up for me, okay?”

  Jessie wiggled her way to an upright position and Anthony began spoon-feeding her. Before either realized it her bowl was empty and so was his.

  “Wow. Finished. You want some more?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He grinned wistfully. The chicken soup was even better than Kai promised. And those dumplings weren’t too bad, either.

  “I’ll be right back.” He took the empty bowls back to the kitchen and refilled them. What was it that she’d said? You simmer it with love. That’s the real cure.

  Anthony refused to let Jessie sleep in the room by herself so he’d set up an inflatable mattress on the floor so he could hear her if she awoke during the night and be there to give her the medicine. Both of them slept like rocks.

  He woke up to Jessie leaning over the side of her bed and wiggling her fingers in his ear. She giggled in delight when he leaped up like a man on fire.

  He playfully glared at her. “You must be feeling better.” Suddenly he grabbed her, pulled her out of the bed and onto his chest for a bear hug. She squealed with laughter and his heart filled with the kind of joy only loving your child can bring.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up and dressed, and then I’ll fix some breakfast.” He ran her a bath and spent the next twenty minutes dodging bubbles and giggles.

  After breakfast, Anthony took Jessie’s temperature and was glad that it still remained normal. Then he got her settled in the living room with some of her toys and Dora the Explorer playing in the background on the television. From his spot in the alcove off the kitchen and living room that he’d carved out as his minioffice, he was close enough to keep an eye on her and get some work done in the process.

  He powered on his laptop and opened his office email account. He groaned. In just two days there were more than one hundred unanswered emails. This would take the better part of the morning. It was a job he usually delegated to his secretary. Unfortunately, she was on a well-deserved vacation, too. Shaking his head in resignation, he pushed back from the small desk. He was going to need some coffee before he tackled the mountain of mail.

  He walked into the kitchen and again a herd of disjointed emotions poked at him, challenging him to respond. He could still feel her there, almost hear her laughter, see the way that she moved so comfortably in his space as though she could easily belong there.

  He lifted his chin as his jaw tightened. Never happen. Especially not after he behaved like a real ass last night. He turned on the faucet and filled the carafe with water for two cups of coffee, measured out the coffee powder and turned the coffeemaker on. But the least he could do was call and thank her, let her know that Jessie was much better. Right? Maybe then she wouldn’t think he was a complete jerk.

  He took his cell phone out of his pocket and noticed that he had a message. He frowned. It must have rang when he was preparing Jessie’s bath and he hadn’t heard it. He scrolled to his messages. It was from Crystal. He muttered a curse. How could he forget? She was planning to come back home today. He forgot because he wanted to forget.

  He pressed the message and listened.

  “It’s Crystal. After thinking about it, I decided you were right. It’s crazy for me to come all the way back. I know she’s fine with you and kids get colds. All I ask is that you let me know if something is wrong. Have Jessie give me a call. Thanks.”

  He didn’t know whether to be happy or pissed. Happy that he wouldn’t have to be bothered with his ex for another couple of weeks or pissed for the very same reason. Crystal didn’t have a sudden bout of mommyhood. All of that righteous indignation that she’d spouted yesterday was for show. He snorted in disgust. He was sure that Crystal’s “traveling partner” was none too thrilled about her threat to come back to the United States. That was the real reason that she so magnanimously concluded that “he was right.”

  Yep, his ex-wife was a real piece of work. He inhaled deeply. He wasn’t going to go down that road. Crystal, even in her absence, had a way of getting under his skin and irritating the hell out of him. She wasn’t going to ruin his vacation. And on that note, he poured a mug of coffee and went back to begin the task of sorting through his emails.

  He placed his cup at his feet and the phone next to the laptop. He stared at his phone. He should call Kai and at least leave a message if she didn’t answer. She probably wouldn’t answer anyway. She was probably with patients.

  He picked up the phone, scrolled to his recent calls and there was her number. Before he could change his mind he pressed “Call back.” He was rehearsing in his head what he was going to say when she answered.

  “Dr. Randall...”

  “Oh, hello. I didn’t expect that you’d answer. This is Anthony Weston.”

  “Hello, Mr. Weston. Is everything all right with Jessie?”

  “Please call me Anthony, and yes, everything is fine. She slept well. No more fever....”

  The silence drifted down between them.

  “That’s great,” Kai finally said. “Probably a twenty-four-hour virus. Just keep an eye on her. But I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

  “Right... Listen, I wanted to thank you again for yesterday.” He paused. “The soup was delicious. The dumplings, too.”

  “I’m glad.”

  He was pretty sure he heard the undercurrents of laughter in her voice. “There’s plenty left.”

  “Great. Be sure to give Jessie as much as she can handle. It’s the cure for everything.”

  “Even bad manners?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Look, I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday. You didn’t deserve that.”

  “It’s not a big deal. Parents of sick kids get testy. I can take it. I’m a big girl. Trust me, I didn’t lose any sleep over it.”

  His brows rose at the backhanded slap. “I still would like to make it up to you.”

  “It’s really not necessary..
.”

  “Lincoln invited me over on Friday...” he said, making it up as he went along. “Up to The Port. Just to hang out. Have dinner.” He swallowed. “I’d like you to come with me.”

  “I—”

  “Nothing official. It’s not a date...not really.” He laughed, more from a sudden bout of nerves than his attempt at humor. He felt her detachment over the phone and it was throwing him off.

  “I’ll be right there, Mr. Hines,” she called out. “Mr. Weston...Anthony, I really have to go. I have patients waiting.”

  “Sure. Of course.”

  “Call me on Thursday and let me know what time. Gotta go.” The call disconnected.

  Anthony’s eyes widened in surprise. Call her on Thursday. What the... He shook his head and grinned with pleasure. Women!

  Chapter 10

  Anthony took the towel that was draped around his neck and wiped his sweaty face while slowing his run to a jog. Lincoln came up alongside him. They jogged the rest of the way to the entrance of The Port.

  “Still got your stride going, my brother,” Lincoln said, as he bent over and breathed deeply. “Sitting behind a desk in the big city hasn’t slowed you down.” He slowly stood.

  “Running after criminals will do that for you,” Anthony joked with all sincerity.

  Lincoln clapped him on the back. “Coming in or are you heading back to your place?”

  “I’ll come in for a few. I’ll wait until Desi gets back with Jessie.”

  “Cool.” Lincoln pushed open the glass-and-wood door leading to the reception area and strolled through to the lounge. They sauntered over to the bar.

  “Two waters, please,” Lincoln requested, and took a seat. He turned to Anthony. “Unless you want something stronger.”

  “Naw, water is fine. A little early in the day for anything stronger for me.” He hopped up on the bar stool and redraped the towel around his neck. “I have to do something nice for Desi before I leave, to thank her for hanging out with Jessie.”