For You I Will

by Donna Hill

  “Hmm. And what do you plan to do about that?”

  “I don’t plan to do anything. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

  “Kai. I know you. When have you ever stepped away from a challenge? She all but drew a line in the sand and dared you to cross it.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I know you like this guy. The first man you’ve shown the slightest interest in since who knows when. Listen, you’re the same woman who managed an entire emergency department in one of the busiest hospitals in the country. You’ve worked in decimated areas, you’ve pulled bodies out of rivers, saved lives and soothed grieving relatives. You’ve seen things and dealt with stuff most of us only imagine in our nightmares. You have heart, but you’re tough and you’ve never let anyone or anything stand in your way. That’s the Kai Randall that I know.” She paused. “You were willing to give him a shot. What changed?”

  “Wait. Are you the same person who told me how crazy it was to get involved with him?”

  “No, that was your other friend,” she joked. “But seriously. If you want him, go for it. We only live once. Give it a chance. See how it goes. He’s told you in no uncertain terms that it’s over between them. Do you believe him?”

  Kai hesitated. Images of Anthony touching her, kissing her, making love to her, confessing to her floated through her head. She saw his face, his eyes, his smile. She tasted him on her lips. “Yes. I believe him.”

  “Then you have your answer.”

  “Yes, I guess I do,” she admitted.

  * * *

  Crystal stood in the doorway of Anthony’s bedroom. She’d checked on Jessie to make sure that she was sound asleep. She stepped quietly inside and closed the door behind her. She listened to his steady breathing. She slipped out of her light robe and dropped it on the floor. Her one-piece negligee was next. She placed it at the foot of his bed and silently slipped between the sheets. Her heart raced. Anthony stirred, murmured in his sleep but didn’t wake. She moved closer to him then remained perfectly still. She waited long enough for her scent to fill the room and his sheets. She got up and slipped out as quietly as she’d come in.

  Anthony awoke the next morning to a silent house. His head pounded. He blinked against the sunlight pouring in through the slats in the blinds and listened for movement. The body oil that Crystal always used drifted to him. Frowning, he pulled himself out of bed and saw the black negligee on the foot of his bed. Confused, he picked it up, then tossed it back down as if it had caught fire. What the hell was going on? He went to Jessie’s room. Her room was empty.

  He walked out front. Crystal was nowhere to be seen. He looked around and saw a note propped up on the hall table. He snatched it up.

  Tony,

  I didn’t want to wake you. And I didn’t want us to have to talk about what happened between us last night. We’re both adults. We have a history. I’m okay. Once Jessie and I get back and settled, I’ll have her call you. For now, I’d rather if you and I didn’t talk for a while.

  Always, Crystal

  He read the note again to make sure he’d seen it correctly. What in the heck was she talking about? She didn’t want to talk about what happened between them? His thoughts jumped back to the nightgown on the bed. He shook his head and tried to get focused.

  Impossible. No way in hell did...

  He stormed back to his bedroom and tore the coverings off his bed. Her scent wafted up to him. She’d been in his bed, apparently naked. For how long? He racked his brain trying to bring an image of him in bed with Crystal. He couldn’t. But obviously she’d been there. What the hell had she done?

  * * *

  Kai stared at her phone. More than once she’d started to call Anthony but changed her mind. Since his last message the day before he hadn’t called again. Maybe he was busy with Crystal and Jessie. Her stomach clenched at the thought.

  Putting her apprehension aside, she called his phone.

  “Kai...”

  The sound of his voice uttering her name washed away all of her doubts. “Hi. I’m sorry I didn’t get to call back before now.”

  “No problem. How are you?”

  She hesitated for a moment. There was something in his voice. “I’m good.” She leaned against the wall. “I was thinking if you weren’t busy maybe we could take Jessie down to the pier for a boat ride.”

  “Jessie’s not here. Her mother took her back to New York this morning.”

  “Is everything all right? You sound...tense.”

  “Just some things I need to straighten out. Can I call you a bit later?”

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks. Hey...”

  “Yes?”

  “Would it be all right if I stopped by rather than call? I mean, I can call when I’m on my way.”

  “Sure. I’ll be here.”

  “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”

  The call disconnected.

  Kai held the phone. Clearly something was wrong. What made Crystal up and leave? It didn’t sound as if Anthony was expecting it and she wondered if it had anything to do with Crystal’s impromptu visit to her house. She released a long breath. Seemed like she and Anthony had a lot to talk about.

  Chapter 20

  Anthony pulled his car into the parking lot of The Port. Guests milled about in the lounge. He went to the reception counter and asked for Lincoln. The receptionist placed a call.

  “He’s in his office, Mr. Weston. He said come on back.”

  “Thanks.”

  Anthony pushed through the swinging glass door and walked down the short corridor to the offices in back. Lincoln’s door was open.

  “Hey, man, come on in.” Lincoln closed a file he was reviewing. “This is a surprise. What’s up?”

  “I need to talk to you. Get some perspective on something.”

  “Sure.”

  Anthony flopped down in an available seat and wiped his face with his hand.

  Lincoln sat on the edge of his desk. “What’s going on?”

  “She’s crazy, man, or I am.”

  “I can only guess that you’re talking about Crystal.”

  “Yeah,” he ground out. He shook his head and jumped up from his seat and began to pace.

  “What happened?”

  Anthony slung his hands in his pockets, then turned to Lincoln. “She was in my bed last night.”

  “Whoa...say what?”

  Anthony heaved a breath and held up his hand. “It’s not like that. At least, I don’t think it is.”

  “What? Man, you’re not making sense. Start from the beginning.”

  Anthony slowed his pacing. “She came back from taking Jessie out for the day...”

  By the time he was finished with his story, Lincoln was as undone as Anthony.

  “Man...” Lincoln’s lowered head shook slowly. He looked up at Anthony. “Sounds like she’s trying to set you up or something. You’re sure nothing went down between you?”

  “Hell no! I was a little buzzed, but I wasn’t out of it.”

  “Seems like you were out of it enough that Crystal slipped into your bed and left some evidence behind.”

  Anthony shot him a look. “Nothing happened.”

  “All right, all right. I believe you, but it doesn’t make sense. And then the note. What’s that about?”

  “I don’t know. I’m going to go back to New York. I’ve been calling Crystal and only getting voice mail.”

  Lincoln nodded. “What about you and Kai?”

  “I’m going to go see her when I leave here. Tell her what’s going on.”

  “Is it that serious with you two?”

  Anthony glanced away. “It could be. I hope that it can be.” He paused. “I ne
ed to get this mess straight with Crystal.”

  Lincoln walked over and clapped him on the shoulder. “You’ll work it out. Anything you need me to do?”

  “Naw. Thanks for listening.”

  “Anytime.”

  “Man, I really thought all the drama with Crystal was behind me. Kai is the first woman in forever that has made me feel this way, like I want something more than what I’ve had. You know?”

  “Yeah. It’s like that when you meet the right one. Like me and Desi.”

  Anthony nodded in agreement. “I’m gonna get going.”

  “Keep me posted on what’s happening when you get back to New York.”

  “Yeah, thanks, man.”

  They shared the brother hug and Anthony headed back to his car. Once inside he called Kai to let her know he was on his way.

  As soon as Kai saw Anthony’s face, her suspicion that something was wrong escalated. And she had a strong feeling that whatever it was had to do with Crystal.

  “Hey, come on in.”

  He gave her a light kiss on the cheek and came inside where Jasper enthusiastically greeted him. He ruffled the dog’s head and walked into the kitchen. Kai came in behind him.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “No. Thanks.” He slid onto a stool at the kitchen island. Kai sat opposite him. Anthony remained pensive for a few moments trying to put the words together in his head so that they wouldn’t come out sounding as crazy as it actually was. There was no way around it but to get it out.

  “One thing that I want you to know is that I want to be completely honest with you, about what I’m doing, my situation and my intentions.”

  “Okay,” she said, drawing out the word and wondering where this conversation was heading. She linked her fingers together on top of the counter and waited.

  He pursed his lips and took a short breath. “Sometime last night...while I was asleep Crystal came into my room...into my bed.”

  Her pulse beat rose.

  “Nothing happened.”

  “Well, what did happen? It must be something or else there wouldn’t be a reason to mention it.”

  He almost smiled at her tactic. It was one that he would have used in court to get to the truth from a witness.

  “You’re right.” He placed his palms down on the countertop. “It’s going to sound crazy...” He told her everything: from the dinner, the losing count of the glasses of wine, falling asleep and waking up to an empty house, Crystal’s nightgown on his bed, finding her and Jessie gone and the ambiguous note that Crystal had left behind.

  “Wow...I don’t even know what to say. Why would she do something like that? It makes no sense.”

  He shook his head in frustration. “I don’t know. What I do know is that Crystal never does anything for no reason.”

  “She obviously wants you to think that the two of you slept together.”

  Inwardly he flinched. It was the same idea that he had but had yet to voice. “We didn’t.”

  “Then what did she mean by the note?”

  “Knowing Crystal, it’s all part of her grand plan.”

  “To get you back.”

  Anthony’s gaze jumped to Kai’s and he saw the shadow of disappointment around her eyes.

  Kai shifted in her seat. “Since we’re opening up, did she mention that she came here to see me?”

  “What?”

  She nodded her head.

  “And? What happened, what did she want?” The heat of anger brewed in his gut and sparked from his eyes.

  “She showed up with Jessie...”

  The vein in his temple began to pulse. The very idea that she included Jessie in her nonsense was more than he was willing to swallow.

  When Kai finished her story, Anthony was so furious he could barely get his thoughts together. He got up from his seat and rounded the counter to stand in front of Kai. He took her face tenderly in his hands.

  “I’m so sorry, Kai.” He gathered his thoughts. “I know you didn’t sign up for this. We’re just getting started and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to take it any further. No matter what you decide I want you to know without a doubt that there is nothing—nothing—between me and Crystal and can never be. Yes, I have to deal with her because of Jessie, but that’s it. Nothing more.” He heaved a breath. “And I want you to also know that none of this changes my intentions with you and I. But it’s up to you. Whatever you decide...I’ll abide by that.”

  “I don’t know, Anthony. You’re right. I didn’t sign up for this. What we got started—” she sighed “—was so much more than I could have expected. I knew going in that it would be tough if we decided to pursue this. But until you can resolve your issues with Crystal...I don’t see how we can make this work on any level.”

  His chest constricted. He lowered his gaze and nodded. “I understand.” He looked into her eyes and his own hurt was reflected there. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Don’t give up on us just yet.”

  “I—”

  “Not yet.” He lowered his head and captured her mouth. The tip of his tongue grazed her lips. He eased back. “Not yet.” He stepped away. “I’m going to give you some space. Some time. And if and when you’re ready, you’ll tell me.” He stepped back. “I’m going back to New York in the morning.”

  Her stomach lurched.

  “I need to see Crystal and get back to work. I want to know that it’s all right for me to call you...let you know what happened.”

  Kai drew in a breath. As much as she would like to continue a relationship with Anthony, she didn’t see any daylight in this growing storm. Not to mention the distance, their jobs, and of course Crystal.

  “I think we need to go our separate ways, Anthony. You need to take care of your issues with Crystal. You have a new job to start thinking about and that alone is going to eat up your time. And that’s okay. You worked for it. You deserve it and you don’t need the distraction of me.”

  “What if I want to be distracted by you?” he asked, unwilling to simply give up.

  “It’s not going to work.” Even as she said the words, she wished that they were not true. But they were. She got up and stepped away.

  “So that’s it?”

  Her lips tightened. She nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

  He drew himself up. If there was anything he knew about himself and what had added to his success as an attorney, it was his tenaciousness and determination to get what he wanted. He wanted Kai Randall. He’d find a way.

  “All right.” He moved away and walked to the door, and felt that he was leaving a part of himself behind.

  * * *

  Kai stood on the opposite side of the closed door and listened to his car drive away. She’d made the right decision. The whole thing was too complicated and too messy. It was not what she needed in her life no matter how much she might want Anthony.

  It was true that he’d awakened something inside of her that had been dormant. From the moment she’d taken his picture all of those months ago, he’d somehow seeped into her soul and finally finding him, being with him, having him inside of her filled the space that had been empty. She knew all of this. It wasn’t rational how she felt, but feelings were rarely rational. She was trained to think and operate logically, to examine the facts and act on those findings, and develop the right course of treatment for the ailment.

  The right course of treatment for this ailment was to cut off the part that was not well so that it couldn’t damage anything else. That was all she knew to do, and she would.

  Chapter 21

  By the time Anthony entered Manhattan, it was already twilight. The instant he hit the city, he immediately felt the beat and the electric energy of the
city that never sleeps. It was the height of the rush hour, complete with stop-and-go traffic, the blare of car horns, lumbering delivery trucks, city buses, tour buses and speeding yellow cabs.

  Sitting at a red light, he watched harried pedestrians race across intersections; others were glued to cell phones as they navigated the jam-packed streets heading to subways and after-work libations. He was home. He’d lived in Manhattan for more than a decade and for the first time he felt out of place, overwhelmed and drained by the very environment that had always energized and fueled him.

  A car horn blared behind him, jerking him from his reverie. He blinked and the green light stared back at him. He pulled across the intersection, continued several blocks and made the turn onto E. 67th Street. He drove into his condo’s underground garage and parked his car in the reserved space. He gathered his bags from the trunk and took the elevator up to the tenth floor.

  Stepping in, his two-bedroom, two-bath condo was his oasis after a grueling day at the office or in the courtroom. Following his divorce, it had taken him more than a year to find a place to call home and set it up the way he wanted. He had his extensive jazz album collection, his wall of books that included everything from law books, biographies to thrillers. His chef’s kitchen was the envy of all his friends and he prided himself on the few recipes that he’d mastered. One bedroom was set up for Jessie whenever she came to visit and the master suite, complete with a spa bathroom, had actually been photographed for New York Style magazine.

  Once he crossed the threshold, he was always able to leave the issues of the day behind him. It was here that he could unwind, renew himself and close out the rest of the world. But today was the first time that he couldn’t summon any of those feelings.

  He tossed his bag in the closet with the intention of unpacking later. He walked to the front of the apartment and fixed himself a glass of light rum and coke hoping that it would ease the unusual tense and anxious feelings that had seeped into his veins the moment he’d entered the city and had refused to dissipate when he’d come home.