Fall of the Cities_A Mercedes for Soldier Boy

by Vance Huxley

  Plenty of people were wondering what the Barbies would pay to get the transmitter fixed, but Sharyn came up with the real question. Sheasked what the Barbies would put up with. Haroldcame up with a possible answer, but if it didn’t work the radio delivery would be on a one-way trip.He sent messages out around Orchard Close for volunteers, fighters willingto come with him on what might end up being a suicide mission. Any candidateswere to meet himin the back garden of the dance house, fully armed, in two hours.

  Harold took Trev and Elise in through the front door, fifteen minutes early. One glance out of the back window told him all he needed.He turned to Trev. “What you’ve told me is that the only way to fix Barbie radio is for you to go there.”

  Trev paled, glancing at the door as if weighing up the chances of escaping. “I didn’t say that. I told you, I can’t go there. Please?”

  “You said nobody else can do it, which means you have to. Would you go if you were safe?” Harold raised his voice. “Bring them in, Patty.” When the back door opened, fighters poured in until the dance room, and the extension at the back, were full. Even then voices could be heard outside, complaining they were being left out. Harold turned back to Trev. “Everyone here is willing to die to protect you.”

  “Bullshit, er, no they aren’t.”

  “Too true we are.” Patty scowled at Trev. “We didn’t know that you were the job, but Harold asked for volunteers willing to die to help him get a job done.” She swept her hand round to include the rest. “There’s more coming.” Suddenly she grinnedas realisation hit. “You want us to go shopping in Beth’s don’t you?”

  Before Harold could answer the cheering started. He’d thought that might cool the volunteers off a bit, but most of the idiots loved the idea. “It will be very, very dangerous but if everyone sticks to the script, the Barbies should stand for it.” Harold turned back to Trev. “Do you truly think the Barbies can get to you with this lot as bodyguards? Or put it another way, will they take the losses to get through me and them, because I’ll be there.”

  Trev looked over the fighters, dressed in their plated jackets and skirts and festooned with sharp stuff and firearms. “I daren’t, Harold.” That came out as a whisper. “I’ll tell someone what to do.”

  “I’ll go, if Trev gives me instructions.” Everyone stared at Elise because she never spoke up. The lass flinched at shadows, but now she’d volunteered to walk into the tigress’s den. She stroked her big mastiff. “If Thandia can come? I owe you, Harold, and everyone here.” Her white face and trembling hands said Elise didn’t fancy it one bit, but her voice showed real determination.

  Fergie pushed forward and eyed Trev. “Are you going to let her go instead of you?” Her lip curled in disgust. “Maybe you aren’t worth dying for.” The young woman turned to Elise with a big smile. “She is.”

  Logan rested a hand very gently on Elise’s shoulder. “Don’t worry luv, I’ll be right there with this.” He showed her his mace.

  “Trev?” Harold held the man’s eye. “Your call, because otherwise Elise is our best bet. We can’t afford to toss out all the work we’ve already paid for. Nor can we afford the lossesif I tell the Barbies no, or Elise can’t do it. They’ll come for you,mob-handed.” Harold held his eyesuntil Trev’s dropped.

  “I’ll do it.” Harold barely heard him, but Trev’s voice strengthened on the second attempt. “I’ll go. If you and this lot will come with me. You’ve got a proper plan?”

  “Of course he’s got a plan. Cripes, he’s Soldier Boy, remember?” Bethany grinned and tapped her gnome hat. “But after this I want my real gang name, Sweet Demon. All official, right?”

  “That’s if you come. There’s half a garden full of lunatics out there and I’ve got to leave a couple of people on guard.” Harold tried to look stern, but he couldn’t hide his grin nor the tear stinging the corner of his eye. Patty had told him the new recruits would do whatever he asked, but this definitely went over and above gratitude and they weren’t all newcomers. “Now use that sweet smile to get them organised so we can get on with the planning. I’ll want permanent guards on the kit, starting right nowbefore I tell the Barbies it’s ready.” He glanced at Trev. “And a couple to watch over Trev until we go.” Bethany grinned triumphantly at the “sweet”before herding fighters outside.

  A dozen hands patted Trev on the back as they left;four fighters promising to put up a tent in his garden to watch the back door. Half an hour later, Harold had everyone’snames, and had sent most home or back on duty. He settled down with a small group to plan properly. Harold thought they could get Trev into Beth’s and out again, alive, but only if the Barbies didn’t fancy payingwhat it would cost to keep him. The rest set into helping him work out how to make the price so high even a Barbie wouldn’t consider it.

  Once Harold told the Barbies the parts were ready they’d want to collect the kit immediately, so Harold held off a few days. Barry and Bernie needed at least two more days with Kharon the clockmaker to get their contribution prepared, with several otherschipping in to help design the ultimate deterrent.Haroldspent those days refining his ideas, thinning out the volunteers, orpacifying those he would leave behind. When he told a Barbie the repair was on, the woman downed her beer in one and ran to her car. Within the hour a message came back, the Barbie escort would arrive the following morning.

  *

  Five days after Harold asked for volunteers, the Orchard Close escort formed up. Theirshotguns and some other weapons were concealed, but the escort were festooned with pistols, machetes, Rambos, maces, and crossbows. Definitely an escort, not a mob, thanks to the latest creation of the Coven. Since learning about the possible visit to Beth’s, they’d had teams of women sewing overlapping steel washers onto padded jerkins. The result, real armoured vests, gave muchbetter protection than the usual mishmash of flat plates sewn to jackets. Better still the thirty-five identical versions looked like a uniform. In a melee it would be easy to tell who belonged to Solder Boy’s Army.

  Ru and Alfie came as Soldier Boy’s personal bodyguards. The Barbies liked them and both volunteered. Alfie would definitely do anything necessary to keep Hazel safe, and she’d insisted on coming to prove she didn’t get the cushy jobs from Harold. Patty came as Harold’s second in command, because both the Barbies and Orchard Close fighters respected her. Doll agreed she liked the Barbies too much after her stay there, and might not look determined enough forthe deterrent to work.Her five best gunslingers came, with holsters tied down. All five swore that if it went to hell, they could draw and shoot faster than anyone else could raise a weapon. A hail of seventy-five bullets should disrupt even Barbies enough to give the rest a chance.

  Casper, Emmy, Matthew and Dollassured Harold they could holdOrchard Close. The new muskets, and all the Mad Maxes,were loaded and hidden in the guardhouses. In addition, all the rifles but Patty’s baby and a two-two for Harold would stay behind, becauseany fighting at Beth’s would be short range. The riflesshould hold off a daylight attack on Orchard Close if someone like Caddi tried to take advantage, and Harold should be back by dark.

  The Barbie escort came down the road with “Born to be Wild” blasting out from their CD players. As soon as the first vehicle came in sight, the Orchard Close escort marched down the access road, standing in ranks to greet them. Harold shook his head at the natural blonde leading the Barbies. “Are those your party clothes?” He’d seen her at the refugee negotiation, but now she wore a one-piece studded leather swimsuit over her clothes.

  “I’m Beetch Barbie, so what else should I wear? A hard Beetch so just what you need for a serious job.” She looked over Harold’s fighters, stood in two ranks. “Soldiers on parade! I should inspect them like they used to on TV.” Which she promptly did, strolling up the ranks commenting on imaginary flecks of dust. On the way down behind them she threatened to slap a few bottoms, allegedly improve their posture. “You’ll do. Would any of you like to sign up?” Beetch looked up at the nearest man, Logan. �
��Especially you. You can inspect me first?”

  Harold thought her mood might have something to do with the heap of electrics sat in the back of Harold’s pickup. “Sorry, they’ve all got a job,baby-sitting our radio man.”

  Trev sat in the back of the crew cab of Harold’s pickup, wearing a balaclava, with one of Patty’s blacksmith candidates each side as protection. Beetch waved at him, but her smile died as she inspected the load. “What’s that?”

  “That big lump attached to the top of the electrics is five gallons of oil and paraffin, with a bomb strapped to it.” Harold held up a little plastic box with a button on, an old garage remote. “If anyone tries to nick the gear or our man, you lose the lot in a big bonfire. I considered taking the tank but that might just be a bigger temptation to your lot.”

  Beetchlooked and thought, while a lot of the Barbie hilarity died away. “Fair enough. After all, some arses round here just can’t be trusted.” She turned, her smile breaking out again. “Come on girls, let’s get the guests to the party!”The Barbies cheered, turning their cars around but leaving a gap in the middle for the Orchard Close vehicles. The Orchard Close escorts cheered as well as they broke ranks and loaded up. Most went in the pickup and vans, except for one in each Barbie vehicle to keep everyone honest.

  The convoy set off,the Barbie Girls playing “Titanium Plated Bitch”at full volume with the windows open and generally showing off. On the way past, each carload shouted insults and promisesat the houses where Caddi’s watchers lurked. The Barbies were creative, butthe Hot Rods didn’t fancya trip to the Mall. The pair might have felt better if they’d known Harold included their safety in the negotiations. He didn’t want the Barbies starting a war on his doorstep.

  The Barbies produced another exuberant and obscene display going past the GOFS sentries, but the GOFS expected it.The convoy wasn’t on their road anyway. Roy and his men waved as they went through, and the GOFS sentry nearest the Barbie border even blew kisses.When the convoy drove over the border the Barbie sentries cheered them through. Even the civvies, the inhabitants of aclump of houses halfway to the Mall, seemed happy to see the convoy. Men, women and children came out of the houses to wave as the vehicles came through,smiling and cheering, which wasn’t what Harold expected. He sure as hell hoped the transmitter worked, or the downer could be fatal.

  *

  The final approach to Beth’swound through a maze of low walls, girders and concrete blocks, covered by crossbows and several firearms. More Barbie guards stood on the roof of the concrete and glass structure, each side of a huge sign reading Queen Elizabeth II Shopping Centre.Someone had spray-painted BETH’s in big letters beneath it, on the glass front of the entrance atrium. When the convoy finally drew up outside the main doors, Beetch called for people to come and collect the gear. Harold lined up his people either side of the pickup and revealed the rest of his conditions. “We all come in with the radio man. Armed.”

  “No way! No stranger goes into Beth’s. We’ll let him in to fix the radio, but nobody else.” Beetchlooked a little wild-eyed just at the thought.

  “Nope. You all know I don’t let any of my experts go alone. If he goes in therewithout us I’ve lost him, andthat doesn’t happen. We’ll still be outnumbered but you won’t attack us.” Harold put as much confidence into the statement as possible.

  “We won’t?” Beetch had a real edge in her voice, while several Barbies put hands on weapons. Those already aiming weapons tensed. Harold glanced at his own people. Doll’s gunslingers weren’t the only ones with their hands near their pistols, ready.

  Harold held up his hand, the one holding the little remote. “Don’t do anything stupiduntil we show you why.” Beetch nodded, a short, jerky, tense movement. “Okay, troops, show them the deterrent.” Half of Harold’s escort pulled out plastic bottles with lumps taped to the sides,holding them up. “Guns.” Fifteen shotguns including the sawn-off appeared from under long jackets or the vehicles, along with extra handguns. Harold waved the box with a button. “If I press this, the transmitter is a bonfire. Then they’ll shoot out your front doors and chuck those fire bombs into the shops and into your marijuana.” Harold could see a huge patch growing under the glass roof of the entrance hall.

  “You’re bloody crazy. We can’t allow you in Beth’s with that lot!” Beetch tensed but kept glancing at the electrics and Harold’s button. Harold thought that might be the only thing stopping a bloodbath,which was what he’d counted on.

  “I’m not suicidal. You know that, andmy people want to go home as well. We don’t want to die so we won’t start anything. This is just our insurance.” Harold looked round at the poised Barbies. “If it kicks off we’ll do what I said, because we’re all dead anyway.”

  Harold could have kissed every man and woman behind who muttered “too true” or “believe it” and similar comments loud enough to be heard. The crazy sods sounded as if they meant it as well! “Burn, Barbie, burn”followed by another voice saying “Barbie-cue” had to be Harold’s personal favourites.

  “We could kill you now, you’re right out in the open.” Beetch glanced up to the weapons on the roof.

  “Probably, but it wouldn’t be easy and your transmitter would be gone forever. Anyone who survived the initial attack would blow straight through those doors, and burn as much as we could.” Harold grinned and let it be as manic and crazy as he knew how. “By the time we’re dead, you’ll bloody well wish you’d talked.” The mutters behind agreed while bombs, firearms and melee weapons were lifted, ready. “Now is it still a deal?”

  Beetch glared at him, then at the escort behind him. “You mad bastard! Why didn’t you say? Why not tell me this up front?”

  Harold laughed, and it wasn’t forced. “What, so you could snipe at me and ambush us on the way in,bury us in machetes?”

  Beetch snorted, but some of the edge went off her stance and she raised her voice. “We wait for the bosses.” The other Barbies also lost their edge, or a bit of it, asBeetch continued but quietly. “I might be a named Barbie, but I’m not senior enough to let armed anybody in Beth’s. Only Barbies or prisoners go in there.”

  Harold pointed at the cab containing Trev. “He’s neither, and he was supposed to go in and come back out.” Trev had been well fortified with cider,but still looked as if he would faint every time a Barbie looked at him. The bombs were the final thing that had persuaded the radio man.

  Beetch thought about that for a few moments. “Fair point, and no, I didn’t think that through. We’ll still wait here for the bosses because”—she suddenly grinned—”maybe he wasn’t supposed to come back out.”Sheglanced over at one of the Barbies. “Get them, all three. Tell them what he said, and that I said it’s worth considering.” The Barbie went off at a run, into Beth’s. Beetch turned back to Harold. “Five minutes, tops, because they’ll be in there waiting for that.” She gestured to the mound of electrics and shook her head. “Can your lot sort of lower the bombs, please?Shit, only Soldier Boy would bring hand grenades and a fucking suicide squad.”

  “Whatever it takes.” Harold didn’t relax, not yet.

  During the next three minutes, several civvies and Barbies came to look out through the glass doors. None came out because Beetch sent someone to stop them. “So there are no fatal misunderstandings.” A small crowd appeared, walking rapidly towards the doors with three out front. “You got all three, Soldier Boy. Those are Christie, Ken and Malibu.”

  “I know. We’ve met, remember, but they looked happier last time.” Beetch made a choking noise, not a happy one.She went to the doors, and after a short consultation the three followed her towards the convoy.Christie, Ken and Malibu looked the whole scene over, while Harold repeated the reasoning for letting his army into Beth’s.

  Malibu, the real blondewearing a twinset and pearlsunder her machete and pistol,seemed to be in charge. “You were such a sociable type when we met before. I thought your reputation might be exaggerated, butnow I find out you really are a
brass balled crazy bastard.” Harold looked round at the Barbies in their wigs and extravagant clothing and borrowed a trick from Caddi. He raised an eyebrow. Ken chuckled but Malibu just nodded. “It takes one to know one.” She looked up at the electrical gear on the pickup, assessing both the gear and bomb. The Orchard Close troops got an equallythorough inspection. “You had better behave, and that thing had better work.”

  “I can be nice if you can. Remember, we don’t actually want to die.” Harold shrugged, trying for nonchalant. “I keep telling you I can’t guarantee the thing will work, but we are definitely motivated.”

  Malibu finally smiled, just a little, nodded andturned to Ken, the big one dressed like a bloke. Christie, a tall slim black woman with a small blonde wig perched on top of a big afro, joined them. After a few tense moments of muttering, Malibu turned to those watching and raised her voice. “Get your lippy on girls, the Army’s in town!” She continued in a lower voice as the cheering spread. “We talked on the way to meet you. This is definitely a one off because of the radio.” She paused,looking over the Orchard Close group again.”Soldier Boy gets to bring his army into Beth’s, fully armed. You come in, fix the radio, and get out. Any adventures and it goes Apocalypse Now. No casual shopping. Deal?”

  “We fix the radio, collect our payment and leave. Anyone sneezes hard at us and it’s burn, Barbie, burn, Barbie-cue time.” Harold just couldn’t resist that bit. “Deal.” Everyone smiled as all three top Barbies shook hands with Harold,then with Patty, Alfie and Ru, which meant the Barbies recognised them as the elite. Harold wasn’t sure that Ru considered it an honour, but Patty loved every minute. Alfie kept blushing as various Barbies called out, reminding him they’d been searched and askingif they could return the favour. Hazel looked ready to kill them all but managed to keep quiet.