“They’ve been in there all afternoon. Dad’s making dinner and Ruby’s making dessert.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. We spent, like, an hour at the grocery store.” Jax groaned as he said the words, as if the grocery store was the worst way he could have spent sixty minutes.
Before I could respond I felt a hand at my shoulder and when I turned, Devon was there.
“Sorry,” he said, just before pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. When he pulled back he was wearing his sexy smile, making a shiver run down my spine. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Jax claims you’ve been busy.”
“Ah, yes.” His hand slid down from my shoulder to the small of my back, leading me forward. The closer I got to the kitchen, the more I could smell what they were cooking.
“Daddy was going to grill for you, but I told him that was a terrible idea for a date.” Ruby spoke while all her attention was on whatever she had pulled out of the oven moments ago. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Devon. He noticed my puzzled look and leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“I had the dating conversation with them earlier today. Everyone’s on board.”
“Oh,” I said, even more surprised by his sentence than Ruby’s mention of the word date. I wanted the kids to be comfortable with Devon and me together, but I’d thought that would come with time. I assumed we’d be easing into everything, giving them time to adjust. Apparently, the Roberts clan was more of a rip-the-Band-Aid-off kind of family. The kind of people who jumped in the pool without testing the temperature first. “Uh, grilling would have been fine,” I stammered, trying to cover for the fact that ever since I walked in the door it was one surprise after another.
“No,” Devon said softly, “Ruby’s right. I’ll grill for you some other time. But tonight I shall dazzle you with all the culinary expertise three hours and YouTube have earned me.”
I lifted one eyebrow. “Is it too late to claim I’m ill?”
“None of that,” he said, laughing. “Ruby has helped a lot. I’m sure it’s edible. Well, mostly sure.”
“It smells amazing, whatever it is.”
Devon gave me another smile, then turned to Jax. “Buddy, take Grace’s things and put them on my bed, okay?”
“All right,” he said, holding his arms out toward me like a stiff little robot. All I had was my purse so I placed it in his hands and watched with a smile as he dutifully marched it back to Devon’s bedroom.
“Would you like some wine?”
“Sure, I think one glass would be fine before work.”
“I think white goes with the meal better. Is that all right?” He peered at me over the top of the refrigerator door, and I was stunned for a moment by the effort he was putting forth. I’d thought I was coming over for dinner, something casual and light, and while nothing felt heavy, I was shocked by the time and attention Devon and his children had put into this one meal.
“White would be lovely.”
“I wanted to make chocolate lava cakes, but I needed to make sure they would turn out all right, so I made just one first. Kind of like a test cake,” Ruby said as she grabbed a fork. “If I did this correctly and followed the recipe right, when I cut into this cake, hot chocolate sauce should pour out of it like a volcano.” She looked determined, but also a little nervous to cut into the small round cake, but she finally sliced into it with her fork. She let out an excited cry as the chocolate sauce poured out of the cake. “I did it!” She bounced up and down on her feet while putting the one bite of cake in her mouth. “And it tastes good,” she said, the words muffled slightly by the dessert.
“That’s impressive, Ruby.”
She gave me a proud smile.
“She really wanted to make something fancy for dessert. I was just going to buy a cheesecake or something, but she wouldn’t let me.”
I watched as I tried to hide a grin as Ruby rolled her eyes. “Men,” she said with a sigh.
“All right,” Devon said, giving Ruby a soft and playful flick on the tip of her nose. “Go make sure the table is all set.” She walked out of the kitchen just as Devon handed me a glass of wine. “I’ve put together for you a creamy broccoli, bacon, and chicken pasta.”
My eyes widened at his words. “You have?”
“Yes, and I know I’m the one who made it, but it looks delicious. And the good news is, it was easy to make so if it tastes as good as it looks, my kids and I thank you for the new meal in our rotation. Pizza, burgers, and hot dogs were getting a little old.” He took a sip of his own wine, and then led me to the table, which was set with mismatched plates and cups with paper napkins folded underneath the silverware. The effort he went to for dinner didn’t go unnoticed, but it was also endearing that it was still a glaringly bachelor setup. He led me to one end of the rectangular table and pulled out a chair for me, pushing it in as I sat. Before I realized what was happening, he placed a kiss on the side of my neck. My breath caught in my throat, and then a shiver shot down my spine as he spoke against the sensitive skin of my neck. “You smell amazing.”
Oh, man. My body was emblazoned just by one kiss and a few sweet words.
I felt the heat of his body move away and watched as he went back into the kitchen. I took another sip of my wine, trying to convince my body that it wasn’t, in fact, on fire.
“Ruby, Jax, come to the table,” Devon hollered.
The next forty-five minutes were surreal. Most of the time I felt like an outsider, watching from the other side of a window, peering into a manifestation of every dream I’d ever had as a woman. Then there were other times, instances when Devon or one of the kids spoke to me, where I wanted to pinch myself just as a reminder that this wasn’t my reality.
Ruby and Jax bickered and argued. Devon scolded. Then he joked and the kids laughed. They talked about their days, what was exciting and what was disappointing. They made plans. They smiled. The kids told stories about their dad in an effort to embarrass him, and sometimes succeeded. Devon blushed and told the children he had much more embarrassing stories about them he could tell if they didn’t stop. The children laughed at his threat and then he gave me a bashful smile.
I was circling the emotional drain, swirling around and hitting every emotional checkpoint on the way down. I was laughing with them one minute and then trying to hold back tears the next, taking sips of wine to try and hide the sudden sadness and panic that came on with the wave of devastation.
This.
This was what I’d always wanted. A family. To sit around a table with a man and children, but in my dreams, those children were mine and the man belonged to me as well. There was something about witnessing the normalcy of life between Devon and his children that sent me reeling.
He was a father, and I’d never be a mother. This gaping difference between us hadn’t occurred to me before sitting at a dinner table with the evidence. Well, that wasn’t true. I’d known all along Devon had children; what I hadn’t anticipated was how dating a man with children would make me feel. I’d pictured the rest of my life childless—the only children being the ones I taught and sent home at the end of the day. I’d always imagined dating a man with children would be too difficult, too close to the gaping wound that was always festering, and I was beginning to see that I was perhaps not capable of watching a man father his children without being constantly reminded that I’d never be given the opportunity to parent.
But then he’d look at me over his wine glass, eyes blazing, lips smiling, and something inside me would shift and crumble, just melt away with the heat of his gaze, and the idea of not being with him was suddenly the greater of two evils.
Dinner was over but Ruby needed fifteen minutes to bake a new batch of lava cakes, so Devon led me out to his patio. He shut the sliding door behind us, effectively blocking out the noise of Ruby and Jax bickering in the kitchen. I walked to the edge of the deck, resting my wine glass on the railing, and smiled when I felt Devon’s front hit my back. He pressed i
n close, resting his hands on the deck, caging me in. I loved it. Loved feeling enveloped by him, surrounded and protected.
“I’m glad you came to dinner tonight,” he whispered, his words a breath against my neck, sending shivers throughout my body.
“Me too. Dinner was delicious.”
“It’s funny because when I pictured myself dating again, I imagined it being so much harder than this. I thought there would be a problem with Ruby, mostly, having a hard time with another woman coming into the picture.”
“You didn’t think Jax would object?”
I both heard and felt Devon’s deep intake of breath, and the sigh that immediately followed.
“I wasn’t sure how he’d react, honestly—it could have gone either way. The truth of the matter is, Jaxy doesn’t really remember Olivia much. When she first passed he missed her, of course, but kids are resilient and he just kept trucking along. But the older he gets the fuzzier his early memories become. And that’s all he had—early memories. Ruby remembers more, which is why I thought she’d have a harder time. She remembers her mother and father together.” He paused for a moment and pressed a small kiss against the side of my neck. “I think the easiness has more to do with you than anything.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” he said, laughing, his lips still pressed against my throat. “Jaxy obviously already knew he liked you, and Ruby fell right in line. It wouldn’t have been this easy with anyone else. It’s you.”
My heart leapt at his words. The last time anyone had said “It’s you” to me, they were blaming me for the relationship’s demise. I turned, his arms still caged around me, and looked up into his eyes.
“There are things I want to tell you, things I’ll need to tell you eventually, if we continue,” I started, unsure of where the sudden bravery came from. “But until I can, until I feel like it’s the right time or the right circumstance, I just need you to know that you make me happy.”
His face changed from confused and worried to a smile so bright and joyful, I couldn’t help but smile myself. And my God, he was handsome when he smiled. It never failed to make my breath catch. Before I could say anything ridiculous and embarrass myself, I stretched up and kissed him.
I kissed him softly, wanting to show him with the kiss that I was glad to be there, in his arms, at his house, with his kids. Happy to be with him. And I was. But what my kiss couldn’t say were all the heavy thoughts and memories weighing down my heart.
My hands tentatively reached for his waist, gripping the shirt there, gently twisting the fabric in my fingers, wanting him closer. His fingers feathered over my cheeks as his hands came to cradle my face. His lips were soft against mine, answering my gentle kiss with a tender one of his own. He moved forward just a little, forcing me to step backward, my back pressing into the railing but my front pressing deliciously hard against his.
With every press of his lips against mine, every touch of his tongue against mine, the heaviness in my heart seemed to become lighter, or less noticeable. When he kissed me, I wasn’t thinking about anything except his mouth on mine and his fingers threading through my hair. I was focused on how alive my body felt, how I was breathless for this man.
He eventually pulled away, like I knew he needed to, his forehead resting against mine as we both caught our breath.
“If my kids weren’t in there….” He only sounded mildly irritated, but he laughed regardless.
“Your kids are great,” I whispered, still trying to calm my body down from the effects of his kisses.
“Yeah.” He sighed. Then his mouth pressed a kiss to my cheek and the rest of my defenses simply crumbled around us. “Shall we go see if Ruby’s second batch of chocolate lava cakes turned out as good as the first?”
“You say chocolate and I’ll follow you anywhere,” I said with a smile, trying to hide the fact that I was falling desperately for the man right before his eyes.
He took my hand in his and led me inside, where the chocolate was just as good the second time around.
Chapter Fourteen
Grace
The door dinged as I pushed it open and I couldn’t help but smile at how “small town” the hardware store seemed to be.
Devon was at the register and his eyes shot to me when he heard the bell. He gave me a sexy smile, but then went right back to ringing up the man who looked to be purchasing a medium-sized power tool. I would never be the woman who could name tools on sight, but the man buying it looked capable enough.
I slowly wandered through the back aisles of the store, not wanting to disrupt his work. As I strolled through, letting my eyes graze over the many different kinds of painting tape and drop cloths he carried, I listened as Devon exchanged remodel horror stories with the customer, laughing along with him when the man admitted to purposefully dropping a can of paint on the couch his wife loved but he loathed.
When the door finally dinged again, I heard Devon call out.
“I know you’re back here somewhere.” His voice was playful and coming from the middle of the store so I knew he’d moved away from the register. I turned in his direction. I smiled when he rounded the aisle I was in, his face splitting into that sexy grin at finding me. “Hey,” he said as he closed the distance between us. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“It’s called a surprise,” I said, holding up the brown paper sack that held my most favorite Chinese takeout. “I brought you lunch. Well, I brought us lunch. Do you have time?”
His hands slid around my waist as he said, “Time for takeout and my son’s hot teacher? Yes. Yes, I have time.”
I laughed as he kissed me. He took the bag from me, then took my hand and led me to the office that was located behind the register. He had a chair at his computer and a big comfortable recliner in the corner that I sat in immediately, loving the way is seemed to hug me.
“What brings you by?” he asked as he unloaded the iconic white boxes from the paper sack.
“Just thought it would be nice to bring you lunch,” I said, shrugging. The truth of the matter was, my days and evenings had been filled with Devon and his family. Since the dinner at his house almost two weeks ago, we’d spent as much time together as possible. Most of that time involved Ruby and Jax, which I was thrilled about, but I knew his mother had them today while he worked, and it occurred to me we hadn’t had much alone time since we really started seeing each other.
Sure, there were some evenings where the kids would go to bed and we’d find ourselves alone on his couch, but I was always nervous one of the kids would wander out looking for a drink of water or needing an extra check under the bed for monsters. Even though Devon tried relentlessly to act like teenagers by making out while watching a movie—which I didn’t necessarily hate—I was always the one making sure we kept it family friendly.
Did I think much was going to happen in his office in the middle of the day at his hardware store? No. But it would still be nice to have a meal with him, just the two of us.
He filled my plate with my favorite foods, handed it to me, then dished up his own and took a seat behind his desk. I took a bite, sighing in delight, and my eyes rolled back in my head.
“There is nothing better than Chinese food,” I mumbled around a full mouth.
“Second only to watching a beautiful woman enjoying it,” Devon said with a wink.
“I have no shame when it comes to takeout. It’s delicious. I don’t care how bad it is for me.”
“Grace, I just watched you wrap your lips around that fork and then moan. I’ll buy you Chinese food every day for the rest of your life if that’s the show you put on.”
I blushed at his words but still couldn’t find it in myself to be ashamed. So I shrugged and took another bite, loving the way my body reacted to the notion that he was aroused by me. He let out a rough laugh and then sat in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk, taking a bite of his fried rice.
We continued to eat, making small talk about ou
r day. He told me a funny story about Jax and how he went to great lengths to annoy his sister that morning, and I told him about seeing a student in the grocery store with his mother who looked completely wrecked. A lot of the time students behaved much better for their teachers than their parents, so I knew that moms and dads were just as eager for school to start in the fall as teachers were for it to be over in the summer.
We were both laughing when we heard the door ding, but I was caught off guard to hear Devon’s father call out from the back of the store, “I got it.”
“I had no idea your dad was here,” I whispered, mortified. “I would have brought him lunch, or at least made him a plate.”
Devon set his lunch down and smiled. “Come here.”
I looked out the window to make sure no customers nor his dad could see us, but then made my way over to him, putting my plate down on my chair. As I neared, his hands hit my hips and he positioned me against his desk, rolling his chair forward so that his knees straddled my legs. He looked up at me with lust in his eyes and his hands roamed from my hips down my legs, and up the backs of my thighs. For just a moment I regretted wearing jeans, wishing I’d put a skirt on to feel his fingers against my bare skin.
My breath picked up as his hands moved to cup my ass, pulling me away from the desk. Mine moved on their own and found purchase in his blond hair. I was practically in his lap and his face was mere inches from my sex, and even though I was fully dressed, it still felt dirty and illicit.
“Thank you for lunch,” he said, his voice just a breathy growl. He pulled me even closer, his hands spanning the entirety of my ass. “I can think of a million ways to repay you. But all of them involve you out of these jeans and out of this office.” His hands moved from my ass, forward, over my hips, his fingers spanning my body in the front, his thumbs dangerously close to the creases of my thighs. I was teetering between wanting his hands there so badly and wanting him to stop teasing me, to stop hinting at touching me in a way he couldn’t possibly deliver on as we sat there in his office with his father just outside.
The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss #2) Page 12
