Eyes Turned Skyward

by Rebecca Yarros

  He never once looked away, the blue of his eyes darker as he stripped my soul clean with every thrust, every gasp and moan. My cries became desperate, and he finally sped up, his hips pistoning into mine with perfect pressure. “I… I…” I tried to speak but couldn’t form a thought. Other than “yes,” and “more,” which I cried out frequently.

  He rubbed his thumb over my clit as he thrust into me. The rhythm was punishing as he drove us toward completion, sweat dripping off us both. I couldn’t fathom that I could do it twice, but as he rubbed again with a hard thrust, I came apart in his arms, crying out into his mouth. He swallowed the sound with a devastating kiss, and thrust faster, finally uncontrolled. Another deep push, and he shook, calling out my name as he came.

  Then he collapsed over me and rolled us to the side so he wouldn’t crush me. “That was…” He struggled to catch his breath. “That was amazing.”

  “More than amazing.” I smiled, realizing I’d just had two orgasms and my heart was fine. Pounding, but fine. “Astonishing and perfect.”

  “Just like you.” He kissed the tip of my nose.

  Exhaustion swept over me as he climbed out of bed to clean up. My body started to shut down, demanding rest, and gave in fully when he pulled me against him, resting his arm over my waist and tucking my head beneath his chin.

  “You’re stuck with me now, Paisley Donovan. I’m never letting you go,” he whispered into my hair.

  My eyes popped open, because I knew that he might not get a choice.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jagger

  One day I’m going to be happy, and it will have nothing to do with you.

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked her as they harnessed us together, over a hundred feet above the ocean. Was this crane stable? It didn’t feel stable. Hadn’t I just done this a few months ago? Why did it feel so different now?

  “Well, it’s a little late to back out now,” she giggled into my chest.

  “Yeah, I wanted to back out a week ago when you suggested this. But you ambushed me in a sex coma, where I’m defenseless. You didn’t lie about your weight, right? I know girls do that, which is just fucking stupid, but you have to be honest here. Were you honest?” I tipped her face up to mine to see her laughing. “This is not funny.”

  “This is very funny,” she answered, reaching up to brush a kiss across my lips. “Yes, I was honest.”

  “And your asthma?” I whispered into her ear.

  “I was just at the doctor. Asthma doesn’t remotely play into this, I promise.”

  My jaw clenched. “This is a stupid list, Paisley. What on earth ever made you want to bungee jump?”

  She arched an eyebrow at me. “Didn’t you say you were just here in August? And in Colorado? How many times have you jumped?”

  She had me there. “Six times, but that’s me. You’ve never struck me as the kind of woman who likes to throw herself off giant towers and then snap back with a rubber band.”

  “Well, it’s actually not something I ever really wanted to do, but kind of something that seemed…” Her eyes widened, like she finally understood that we were standing on the edge of a very dangerous little box to check on her list. Her throat worked as she swallowed. “It’s stupid, isn’t it? This is so stupid.”

  Her breathing picked up, and I kissed her softly. “Yes, it’s stupid. Utterly, horrendously stupid.”

  “But fun?” A spark of excitement passed through those green eyes, and I couldn’t help but grin.

  “Yes. It’s exhilarating. But if you want to change your mind, I’m all for it,” I promised her, running my hands along her spine.

  “Yeah, lady, because in about two minutes it’s too late.” The guide secured the carabiners to our harnesses.

  She took a couple rapid breaths, looked up at the sky and then to the edge of the bridge, but not down. Then her eyes locked onto mine, radiating panic. “No, I want to do this.”

  “You sure as hell don’t look like it.” I turned to tell the guide to unhook us, that there was no way I was throwing the love of my life off a bridge, but she brushed my cheek with her fingers.

  “No. I might not want to do this, but I have to. I need to. For me.” She bit her lower lip, her eyes set with that determination I utterly adored. “Besides, you’ll keep me safe.”

  I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my chest and kissing the top of her head. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” I promised, but my stomach clenched. Doing stupid shit for the rush had always been fun, but involving Paisley, risking her, wasn’t something that sat well with me. Especially not when she looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. Why the hell had she make a list of crap she didn’t actually want to do?

  The guide gave us the last rundown, explaining what was about to happen. With every sentence, Paisley squeezed me tighter, until I was held in a five-foot-two little vise. “This isn’t safe if you have epilepsy, heart disease, or if you’re pregnant.” The guide raised his eyebrows at us.

  Paisley pregnant? We’d been safe these last two weeks, and there was no chance, but the thought didn’t make me want to vomit. No, that news would just give me an excuse to get a ring on her finger. Holy shit, that escalated quickly.

  “No, I’m not pregnant.” I felt her jaw tense against my chest.

  “Then by all means, step to the side and have a good time. Remember to keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, and don’t forget the tabs on the rebound unless you like hanging upside down.”

  We moved to the edge. She looked up at me, forced out a shaky smile, then laid her head over my heart. “I love you,” she whispered.

  “Well, good. I don’t bungee jump for just anyone,” I answered with a kiss on her hair. I tightened my grip on her as the guide counted down. Then we jumped—and let gravity take over. The wind rushed past us as we plummeted toward the ocean below, the only sound Paisley’s high-pitched scream. Adrenaline rushed through me, firing every nerve, every sense: the smell of the ocean rising to meet us, air rushing past our bodies, and the feel of the woman in my arms.

  We hit the end of the rope and recoiled like a rubber band, but my stomach stayed in free fall. Paisley screamed again, but her tone changed until she was laughing. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. Well, next to her screaming out my name when she came. I think that was always going to take the top spot. I held her tighter, bracing her head as we fell toward the water, remembering how much the secondary snap had hurt my neck the first time I did this.

  “This is amazing!” she yelled as we bounced again.

  My heart thundered in my ears, and a laugh unlocked the tension in my muscles. She let go of me, her arms stretching wide above her head in abandonment as she yelled out in joy, release, exhilaration. “I am invincible!”

  Invincible and infectious. I let myself enjoy the rush tearing through me. It was only amplified by the perfection of her. I loved her, and not just in a girlfriend way. Hell, not even in a wife way. No. I loved her like the tide loved the moon, vital to sustain the life within. I slammed my eyes closed, both reveling in the feeling and terrified because I couldn’t imagine ever going back to the way it was before. Somewhere along the way, she’d become my gravity, holding me to the earth by her sheer existence.

  Loving Paisley had the same effect on me as my first helicopter ride—I simply knew where I was supposed to be, whom I was supposed to become, and I was meant to be hers.

  She ran her fingers along the sleeves of my shirt as we slowed to a vertical stop. I wound my fingers through hers and dipped my head, kissing her as we hung suspended. She met my tongue with her own, tasting like the strawberries she’d been eating as we arrived for the jump. Was I ever going to get tired of this?

  She gasped into my mouth, then rubbed her hands over her eyes. “Jagger…my head.”

  I pulled the tab we’d been told about, and the ropes shifted, bringing us upright as the winch cranked us back up to the deck. “
It’s the blood pressure,” I murmured against her hair. “Better now?” She nodded and rested her head on my chest. “How do you feel?”

  “Amazing!” Her grin triggered my own.

  They reeled us up, and we sat back, enjoying the aqua water of the Emerald Coast of Florida. “Hey, look.” I pointed down the shoreline where a small line jutted into the water. “That’s where we met.”

  She kissed my neck. “That’s where you saved me.”

  “You’re almost ready to head back there and swim. Maybe a few more times in the pool and I bet you could handle the ocean.”

  “You just want to get me wet and naked.”

  “Who said naked?” My grip tightened on her as they cranked us the final few feet to the deck.

  “I did.” She turned her face up to mine and kissed me until I forgot there were two men waiting to unhook us. Luckily, they cleared their throats, or we might have hung there for a while.

  I let her sleep as long as I could, wrapping myself around her because I still couldn’t believe she was mine. Maybe one day I’d get used to saying that, knowing that she loved me. Until then, I’d just hold her while she napped. Once my phone hit four thirty, I pulled myself away from her, closing my bedroom door behind me.

  “How is she feeling? She seemed tired,” Grayson said, looking up from his study seat at the dining room table. Our final check rides were this week, and I hadn’t cracked a 5&9. After my week in Chicago, Carter was edging me out, but I’d take him down.

  “Yeah, she’s wiped out. We’re supposed to meet her parents in two hours, so I can give her another half hour or so.” I pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and drained it.

  “Ah, General Donovan. You know how to pick your women, man.”

  I cringed. “Not women. Just woman. She’s the only one I’ve ever picked, and she’s worth it. You know, as long as I can survive our first family dinner.”

  “I’ll keep you in my prayers. Do they know about her bungee expedition today?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve never been that scared.”

  “Because it’s a stupid thing to do? Tie yourself to a rubber band and bounce?”

  “Yeah, well, I almost didn’t let her. I’m telling you, I’m turning paranoid.”

  His pencil clicked against the table as he put it down. “Worse than when you saved her from drowning?”

  “I didn’t love her then.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. That love stuff heightens everything else, too. It’s like an amp.”

  I threw the empty bottle into the trash and didn’t ask why he knew about it. “I can’t help but feel like there’s something she’s not telling me. Which is fair. We both have things we don’t like to talk about, you know? She doesn’t know all of my shit, I can hardly expect to know hers.”

  “But you want to.”

  “She won’t let me in. She changes the subject when we open the door to any of it.”

  His gray eyes studied me with a perception I couldn’t escape. “Then you make her listen to yours. You’re both too concentrated on staying flawless for the other, not giving anyone a reason to run away because everything is shiny and perfect. Nothing stays shiny and perfect for long when it’s used. Unless you want this relationship of yours in a pretty glass case, you have to show her your cracks, your flaws. Show her that no matter what hers are, you’ll stay. Show her there’s nothing to be scared of, and she’ll let you in.”

  “Jesus, did you major in psych?” I asked, grabbing another bottle of water.

  He shook his head. “Marine engineering.”

  “And that taught you about women?”

  “Nope. Four sisters took care of that.”

  “What?” I started laughing. “You’re like this giant red puzzle, so there’s no way to know where the pieces go.”

  “I’m not much of a people person.”

  “Oh, you think?” My eyes glanced to the clock. “I have to wake her so she can get ready.” I started to walk down the hallway.

  “Jagger?”

  I turned around, my eyes slightly widened. He’d never called me by my first name. “Yeah?”

  “That fear you felt? Don’t lose it. It will remind you what she means to you, because the second you become complacent…” He looked away and took a deep breath. “Life is short, man. That’s all.”

  “Someone fucked you up.” Another puzzle piece fell into place.

  He picked up the pencil and lowered his head to study. “No. I did that all myself.”

  I knew he’d closed the subject. Hell, I was impressed I’d gotten that much out of him.

  Paisley gave me a sleepy kiss as she woke, smiling at me. “Time already?” She stretched to reveal a tantalizing strip of smooth skin at her stomach. I bent down, swiping my tongue across her belly button. “None of that,” she murmured, her fingers threading through my hair. “I won’t leave this bed.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me.” My hands skimmed underneath her shirt to her ribs.

  “Sure, until my father comes looking for us.”

  Well, there went that erection. “Yeah, up you go.”

  She laughed and swung her feet over the side. Her fingers braced her temple.

  “You okay?” I tipped her face up and handed her the bottle of water I’d brought her.

  “Yeah, just sat up too fast. You sure you don’t mind if I use your shower?” Her open mouth on the rim of the bottle had my full attention.

  I groaned at the thought of her naked in my shower. “Oh, no, feel free. I’ll just stay out here and think about licking water off your skin.”

  Her lips parted. “That sounds pretty perfect.” She stood, so close to me that her breasts rubbed against my chest. “Maybe you want to join me?”

  Fuck, yes. “Only if you want to cancel our reservations.” Please cancel.

  She sighed and slid past me. “I wish! Part of being a Donovan—we don’t cancel family dinners. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be ready.”

  I went to find something—anything—to do so I’d keep my hands off her body. I’d never slept with the same girl twice, and never really wanted to, but Paisley was an addiction I was going to need therapy for. Monogamy was strangely awesome. I’d already learned what turned her on, where her boundaries were, which ones I could push, and which ones of mine I let her push. I felt like I’d traded a ton of traveling carnivals to live at Disney World. It was definitely the happiest place on earth.

  I killed time quizzing Grayson for our check ride. He got most of the answers right, but lifted an eyebrow at me when I missed one he got purposely wrong. Fine, I was distracted.

  Once it was time, I dressed up—gray slacks, a light blue shirt, and my burnt-orange Hermès tie, just for fun. I ran my fingers over my hair and did a quick survey, making sure there was nothing out of place. This was my chance to make it up to Paisley’s parents, to show them I was capable of not acting like a Neanderthal. I thought about taking my tongue stud out, but didn’t. After all, it was nothing compared to seeing me take down their favored son in the entry hall.

  The bathroom door opened, and I caught sight of Paisley in the mirror. Fuck me. My mouth went dry. She wore a red dress that wrapped across her breasts, leaving the neckline low enough for me to start drooling. It fitted to her waist with a belt and flared out at her hips, ending at her knees. It was far from the most revealing dress I’d ever seen on a woman, but it was certainly the sexiest. Her hair curled softly down her back, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my hands in it.

  “We’re never going to get there on time.” I let my hunger for her show in my eyes. She skirted around me, giggling as I stalked her back into the bathroom, but I caught her from behind, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her neck. “And you smell amazing, too.”

  She leaned her head away, giving me a better angle on her neck, and I took full advantage, running my lips in a line down to her collarbone. “As much as I would like to continue this, we’re going to have to get there.” I
f her nails hadn’t bit into my forearm, I would have thought she was unaffected. Her breathing hitched as I sucked lightly on the hollow of her neck. “Jagger…”

  She turned in my arms and kissed me, pressing her body to the full length of mine. Her tongue stroked across my lips, and I sucked it inside, groaning at the taste of her, the feel of her under my hands. I backed her against the wall next to the towel bar. Then I took her face in my hands and kissed her, using every ounce of skill I had to make her forget her own name.

  In the process, I forgot mine. She arched into me, her fingers tangling in my hair, pulling me closer in a grip that bordered on painful, and I loved it. My hands skimmed the dress to her neckline, slipping inside her bra at the same time to gently palm her breast. This wasn’t enough. I wanted my mouth on her, my fingers inside her, pumping her to an orgasm. Why wasn’t one touch ever enough? She moaned, leaning into me. I gently pinched her nipple, and she gasped into my mouth.

  “We’re going to be late if you keep making sounds like that,” I promised, caressing her with my thumb.

  She looked at me, her eyes half open and hazed by desire. “How fast can you be?”

  I quirked up the corner of my mouth. “I think that might be the first time a woman has ever asked me to be quick.”

  She leaned into my hand. “Yes or no? Because I’m on fire.”

  “Fire?” I rolled my hips against her and sucked in my breath at the pressure she rolled back.

  She tugged my lower lip with her teeth, then licked her tongue across it. “Burning, Jagger. Help a girl out? You told me you preferred the burn, right?”

  My mind slipped back to that night when I’d wanted her so badly and she’d belonged to someone else. Not anymore. She was mine. I growled, lifted her by her ass, and slammed the door shut with my foot as I put her on the vanity. The kiss was open, carnal, full of lips, teeth, and tongue, and I was immediately as hard as the granite her ass was perched on. Not that I hadn’t been semihard since she got in the shower. It was kind of a permanent condition when she was in the same room.