Sunk

by Renea Porter

  Walking through the house, I head down the hall. I open Ava’s door. I concentrate so hard to imagine her infectious laugh. Inside the room, I run my fingers over her things. Why did she have to be taken from me? Why does the hurt still plague me? I let Sly into my world; I let him see me at my most vulnerable state. Will he hurt me in the end? Will the pain be worth it?

  ***

  SLY

  In bed, I’m doing nothing but tossing and turning. I already miss Raine; she fits in so well here and with my family. Will she see the real me and run? Or will she embrace it? I don’t want to hurt her, ever. She’s affected me in so many ways. It’s hard to grasp how much I’m changing, for the good, to be better.

  Fuck, I wish she was here. I feel like I can’t breathe without her near. Is that even possible? I’m doing my best not to go over there right now, just so I can sleep. I don’t want to smother her; I have a history of being too intense. Besides, I think she needs some time to herself. Sometimes I just want to devour her totally and completely. I want so badly to take her pain away, and it kills me that I can’t help her. Shit, I am falling for her, hard and fast.

  Fuck it. I fling the sheets off, pull out an overnight bag, and throw some clothes inside. Grabbing my laptop and keys, I head to the car. With the nighttime traffic, I’m at her house in ten minutes. I knock on her door.

  “Sly?” she answers, obviously confused.

  “I can’t sleep without you in my arms. I need you in bed with me now. I’m sorry to show up unannounced, but you’ve officially ruined me for sleep.”

  She tries not to giggle. She looks sexy as sin with her hair piled on top of her head, tight leggings, and baggy sweater. I tug on her hand, leading us to her bedroom.

  “What am I going to do with you?” she says, teasing me.

  “You’re going to sleep with me and let me hold you while I fall asleep. I have a meeting that I need to get up for,” I tell her.

  I undress her, her naked body in front of me. Flipping the sheets back, I get in and motion for her to lie beside me. She smiles and cuddles up to my body. I smooth my hand over her face. “You are so beautiful.” I kiss her lips.

  ***

  RAINE

  Yup, Sly is here in my bed. This is not a dream. The crazy fool drove here just so he could sleep. He fell right to sleep with me in his arms. And here I lie, wondering what he harbors so deep he can’t share it with me.

  Slipping out of bed, I go to the kitchen and get breakfast started; the least I can do is cook for him after everything he’s done for me. Just as I am plating the food, I feel two strong arms snaking around my waist.

  “Good morning,” I say.

  “Mmm, good morning. So you do cook,” he teases.

  “I do. At least I can send you to work with some food in your belly.”

  “Work.” He groans. “What are your plans besides working?”

  “I talked to my sister last night and she was about to send a search party out for me. I told her I was with you, hope that was okay.” I set the plates at the table and pour us each some coffee.

  “Yeah, that’s fine.”

  “I’m meeting her for lunch after work, so we can catch up. Other than that, no plans. Maybe I will peruse that gym membership.”

  He listens to me talk as he eats breakfast. I continue to ramble on about my sister. I intentionally leave out that Beau came to visit me. I’ll save that for another time, a time more appropriate for discussion.

  “What about you?”

  “I have a meeting,” he glances at his watch, “which I might be late for. Thanks for breakfast. Got to get ready.” He rushes over to me with his mouth full and kisses my forehead. He dresses quickly and gets his things together.

  “I’ll call you later, okay!” he yells over his shoulder.

  “Okay, have a good day!”

  I put the dishes in the dishwasher and head to my bedroom to get ready for work myself. I pull my hair out of the messy bun and let the curls hang loose over my shoulders. After putting on some light makeup, I slip into a pair of black pants and a chunky sweater, and grab a pair of knee length boots. The weather has been colder; winter is starting to appear.

  At work, I meet Jessica in the classroom before the kids arrive. She looks puzzled.

  “Did you get my messages?” she asks.

  “I’m sorry. I was away, and I didn’t have time to listen to them.” It’s half true.

  “The board called a meeting on your day off. I tried to call you to come in. They let go all of the teacher assistants. Budget cuts.”

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry, Raine. You’ve been through a lot, and I know this is the last thing you need,” she says, trying to comfort me.

  I’m stunned, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do now that I’m out of a job.

  Chapter Thirteen

  RAINE

  Calling Summer straight from leaving work, I ask if she’s available to meet earlier. She agrees to meet me at BAKER’s Coffee Shop. Grabbing a coffee, and a table, I wait for her to arrive. Watching the outside world, I ponder my options.

  “I’m sure you’ll find something soon,” Summer assures me after she’s seated and I reveal the news about my unemployment status. “Maybe you can even pursue your music.”

  “I just can’t believe it. But you’re right. Maybe I can focus on something else for a while. Sly has a piano in one of his rooms. He listened to me play the other day.”

  Summer smiles as she sips on her coffee. “You practically glow when you talk about him. It’s refreshing, Raine.”

  I give her a weak smile. “There is still a lot to uncover about him, so I’m getting ahead of myself here.”

  “If he puts a smile on your face, what’s left?”

  My sister is often the more optimistic one out of the two of us. She’s also a hopeless romantic and believes in fairytales. Sometimes she says something that makes total sense, and I have to agree with her, but something still feels off with Sly.

  “Well, he slept at my place last night. Said he couldn’t sleep without me in his arms.” I giggle.

  “Oh my god, so romantic,” she says, placing her hand over her heart.

  I shake my head at her. “None of this gets back to Charles, okay? I don’t want Sly to think I’m gushing over him or anything.” I laugh.

  She hooks my pinkie with hers. “Pinkie swear.”

  This is why I love my sister. Not only because we are all we have, but she’s the one I can tell anything to. She’s the one that talks sense. So, I take a breath and let her know what happened yesterday.

  “There is something I haven’t mentioned. Beau stopped by my place after Sly dropped me off.”

  “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” Her baby blue eyes narrow at me.

  “Beau came by and told me I should steer clear of Sly. That he’s dangerous. I don’t know, it’s crazy.” Suddenly, I regret saying any of this. How do I backtrack?

  “Maybe Beau is just jealous or something, or doesn’t want to see you happy without him.” Summer shrugs.

  “Maybe,” I confess.

  My phone dings. It’s a text from Sly.

  Sly: Can I see you again today? I understand if you need space. XO

  Me: Sure, I’m actually not far from your place. I’m out with my sister. I can be at your place in ten.

  Sly: Perfect. See you then.

  I blush.

  “Let me guess. Sly.” Summer smiles.

  “Yes, he wants to know when he can see me,” I tell her.

  “Go, I’ll catch up with you again soon.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Go,” she demands, nodding her head.

  We both stand, and she hugs me tightly. “Go with your gut,” she whispers.

  I make my way to Sly’s place. Even though I’ve had bad news handed to me, maybe this can be a start to something new. I don’t have to figure it all out today, but I’ll have to do something soon.

  Right befor
e I knock on Sly’s door, he answers and pulls me in. He has a habit of doing that.

  “How was work? How’d lunch with your sister go?” he asks as we walk to the living room to sit.

  “I got laid off from work this morning, and spending some time with my sister was much needed,” I say in a fast breath.

  “You got laid off?”

  “Yeah, something about budget cuts.” I wave my hand.

  “Damn, I’m sorry.” He reaches over and rubs my leg.

  “It’s okay. I don’t know how I’m paying the bills, so I need to figure something out soon.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Raine. I can take care of that for you. Why don’t you concentrate on your music? It’s what you love, and you play wonderfully. The way you play, I get lost in the music.”

  I blush. “I couldn’t accept that, but my sister did mention the music.”

  “Please, allow me to help you. I care for you, and I want you to do something you love. You shouldn’t settle for anything less. Plus, I can afford to do it, in case you haven’t noticed. Not to brag or anything.” He grins.

  “Fine. You’re too generous, Sly. I really appreciate it, though.”

  “It’s not a problem. Would you like some wine? I have the kind you like best,” Sly asks.

  “Sure, I’d love some. You have me spoiled on that one,” I tell him.

  “Only the best.” He flashes his boyish grin and it melts my insides to putty. “Come.” He tugs on my hand and I follow him to the kitchen as he pours us each a glass.

  It’s nice to actually sit and have a conversation with someone, even though I’m sure he’d rather be in bed. I wonder when the time is right to bring up the subject of his previous conquests, and about me. I lean against the counter as he hands me a glass.

  He holds his glass up to cheers. “To new adventures.”

  “To new adventures,” I respond.

  His eyes lock with mine as we both take a sip of our wine. “Something is on your mind.”

  How does he do that? “There is, but I’m not exactly sure how to broach the subject.”

  He starts to walk, and I follow him upstairs to the bedroom. We settle on the bed, and I sit across from him.

  “What’s on your mind? Just come out with it.”

  I take a deep breath. “Don’t get mad. But I’m curious. How many women have you had as submissives? And how come you aren’t treating me like them?”

  “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. But to answer your question, I have a past, like everyone. Mine may be a little darker than others. I’ve had several, maybe six or seven. And I don’t treat you like I did them because I see something different in you, something that makes me want more. I’d like to take this relationship on a more serious level, but if you can’t handle my past, I understand.”

  “Have you hurt any of them?”

  “Where is this going, Raine?”

  “Look, when you dropped me off yesterday, Beau came by and told me I should steer clear of you. He’s supposedly with one of your exes, and he said you’re dangerous. Of course I didn’t believe him, but these questions need to be answered, for me. I’m asking for me. Do I need to steer clear of you?” I continue to sip my wine.

  He sighs. “I knew he would interfere somehow. I hurt the last one I was with. Of course I didn’t mean to. She was a willing participant, but things went too far and got out of hand. My greatest fear is hurting you, but not physically. I don’t want to lose you, Raine. I really want to see where this goes between us.”

  Part of me says to run; the other part says to give him a chance. What’s the worst that could happen? Get a broken heart? I’ve been through much worse.

  “Okay, I’ll give you a chance. I feel the same way about you too.” I smile.

  “Good, now come over here and kiss me,” he demands.

  I’m in heaven. I never saw myself with another man so soon after my divorce, but here I am. Sly’s woman. This is crazy; life is crazy.

  I lean over and kiss him, then I end up underneath him. He kisses me possessively and passionately, and I devour it. “You’re mine now, and I’m never letting you go,” he confesses.

  I smile against his lips as they brush against mine, his body towering over mine. Right now, in this moment…I. Am. Happy.

  Chapter Fourteen

  RAINE

  It’s been two months since Sly and I made it official. He’s showing me every day that I deserve to be happy, and I almost believe him, most of the time. Something holds me back from loving him fully and completely, even though he makes me smile every day.

  Today is Thanksgiving, and his mom has invited us both over to eat. Right now, I’m in the kitchen making breakfast before we head out, and Sly has his arms snaked around my waist as he nuzzles my neck.

  “That tickles,” I say, squirming.

  Suddenly, the smell of breakfast overwhelms me and I make a mad dash to the bathroom with Sly on my heels and my hand over my mouth. I throw up in the toilet, while Sly grabs a washcloth and soaks it under the faucet.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, eye widening.

  “I think so,” I say, standing back up.

  He hands me the wet cloth and I clean my face.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? We can stay here and you can rest,” he assures me.

  “No, I’m fine. I need to finish breakfast.” I start to walk out the bathroom.

  He presses his lips to my forehead. “Well, you aren’t running a fever. Come on, you sit and I’ll finish cooking,” he says.

  “I don’t think I can eat. Do you have any saltine crackers?” I clutch my stomach.

  He rushes over to the pantry and grabs a box, tearing open a sleeve of crackers. He puts some on a plate and hands them to me. He looks worried.

  “I’ll be fine, I just need to eat some crackers to settle my stomach.” I give him a weak smile. He bends down and kisses my head as he sets the plate in front of me. I think my greatest fear is settling into reality. But I don’t want to think about that right now, not yet anyway.

  “You sure you want to go to my parents’ house?” He sits next to me while he eats.

  “I’m sure. I’m fine, Sly. Don’t worry.”

  “Why don’t you go lie down for a bit and I can clean this up?” He nudges me.

  I relent. “Okay, but only for an hour.”

  ***

  After resting, my stomach has finally settled and I’m feeling better than I was earlier. Everyone is gathered around the table at Sly’s parents’ home. They are used to me being around—Sly and I haven’t missed a Sunday lunch since he first introduced me.

  “Are you feeling okay, dear? Sly mentioned you were sick earlier,” Anne asks.

  “Oh yes, I’m fine now. It was nothing. Dinner was delicious, Anne. Thank you so much for having me,” I say, grabbing some dishes to clear the table while the men are gathered in the living room.

  “Why don’t you let us clear? Go in and rest with Sly,” she pleads, and I obey her.

  Walking in the living room, all the men are spread out. Asher is taking up the whole love seat, already conked out, as well as Sly’s dad, James, on the couch, and Carina’s husband is asleep in the chair. The only one awake is Sly, sitting on the plush carpet. He holds his hand out and gently pulls me down against him. I fall between his legs, and he wraps his arms firmly around my waist as I nuzzle into his neck. He smells so good; I could smell him for a lifetime.

  He’s captivated me since day one, and still he takes my breath away. Underneath all my layers, Sly is able to see me for who I am, and he welcomes it, every minute of every hour of every day.

  “I love you,” he whispers.

  For a moment, I wonder if I heard him correctly. Then I realize this is not a dream, but it’s the first time he’s uttered those three words to me. The moment of clarity sets in.

  “Did you just say…?”

  “I did, and I’m going to love you so damn hard.” He grins.

  “I love
you too,” I whisper, lifting my neck to look in his gorgeous, rich caramel eyes.

  He smiles and snuggles me closer to him. Anne peeks into the room and hands us each a slice of pumpkin pie topped with whipped cream. I unfold myself from Sly’s arms to eat the slice. He dips his fork in the pie, and all I can think of is what we can do with that whipped cream. A devilish grin spreads across his face as if he can read my mind.

  “What do you say about getting out of here?” he whispers, after clearing his plate.

  “I’d say, why aren’t we out the door yet?”

  He grins, then stands and helps me up. He pulls me close and kisses me, and I feel the desire deep in my belly. Grabbing my hand into his, we make our way back into the kitchen to bid his mom and sister goodbye. Anne hands us some leftovers to take home. Then the crazy guy inconspicuously grabs the can of cream to take with us. After thanking them for dinner, we rush out to the car like a couple of giddy kids. He opens the door, tosses me the can, and hurries to the driver’s side.

  In the car he holds my hand like he always does. It’s comforting.

  “You said you love me,” I tell him.

  “And you said it back,” he says.

  “I did, didn’t I?”

  “You did.” He brings my hand up to kiss it.

  I don’t regret saying it back, because I feel strongly for him. Something pulls me to him. We connect on some level that is unexplainable, but it makes sense to us, and that’s all that really matters. Inside the house, he tries to reach for the whipped cream in my hand, but I yank my hand away and grin at him.

  “Oh, so you want to play that game?” He cocks a sideways grin at me.

  That’s my cue to run, and I make it through the house as he chases me. Finally, I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and just as I enter the bedroom, he scoops me up in his arms.