Seek

by Anne Conley

  “Bonnie? Any idea how long you were out there? Outside the house?” His voice was gentle as he walked on the other side of the stretcher. Zack wondered if he was holding her other hand.

  “V let me out one evening, and I spent the night out there. I guess that was last night. So a night and a day? Not sure. Couldn’t find a road or water.”

  That coincided with the tracker, and Zack wanted to know who the hell V was. But the details could wait. She’d wandered for almost twenty-four hours. That was enough to earn his undying respect, if she hadn’t had it already.

  Soon enough, they were at the cabin, where the Explorer was parked. Again, Simon took control.

  “Jordan and Ryan, stay here and call the cops. I’ll take her and Zack to the hospital. Quinten needs to ride along in case anything happens.”

  “You got it, Sarge,” Ryan responded, alert and ready for action. Zack was glad he was being granted the ability to go with them. He realized then, Simon and Quinten were family, and they were allowing him the ride-along. Hopefully, that meant they thought of him as family, too.

  He’d certainly been around long enough.

  When Bonnie was loaded, a hand at his shoulder stopped him from climbing in immediately.

  “A word,” Simon’s gruff voice spoke in his ear.

  Zack faced his boss, his love’s eldest brother, the man who had tried to keep them apart to protect his sister.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “I see you care for her, Zack. I’m a little sorry for the way I’ve treated you in the past, but for fuck’s sake, the way you’ve been with women didn’t give me a hell of a lot of choice when it came to protecting Bonnie.” Zack nodded, understanding completely. He’d been an epic dick. “But I’ll tell you this now, and only once. If you hurt my baby sister, you’re a dead man. Got it?”

  “Absolutely. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And he wouldn’t. If he ever hurt Bonnie again, the way he’d hurt her before, he’d deserve to die.

  The ride to the hospital was made in silence, everyone listening to Bonnie’s ragged, gurgly breathing with baited breath. Ryan had given her something for the pain and it seemed to have worked. She had settled down and was resting a bit while they made the obscenely long trek out of the middle of nowhere to the nearest hospital.

  Of course, as soon as they got there, Bonnie was whisked away to some back room, where she probably underwent some type of examination and questioning. Zack didn’t know where and didn’t have the wherewithal to ask. All he knew was she was gone and he was stuck in an awkward silence with Simon and Quinten.

  Eventually, as word spread, people started showing up. Deena Rae and Slade were first, Slade clapping Zack on the back in a brotherly gesture of solidarity, whispering in his ear, “I’m here if you need to talk, man.” Then came Hollerman and Evan, who had found nothing but the shell of the car they’d tracked. It had been abandoned in a rough neighborhood, Hinkins gone without a trace.

  Hollerman and Simon went off to the side, talking in hushed tones. Zack assumed they were plotting something, since Jonas and Lawrence were still at large. It didn’t take long before the rest of the gang started showing up. First were Valerie and Paige, with Mia in tow. He wasn’t sure why Mia was here, since Jordan was still at the cabin in the boonies, but the others had apparently called her and she was here for support. Chicks were like that. Not necessary at first glance, but they inherently knew their mere presence was reassuring. Miriam and Jake, having called a sitter to come over for the baby, came in next. Krista showed up about an hour later, baby in tow. Zack guessed Ryan had called her and told her to come, but he really had no idea.

  The women brought food, every one of them, filling the sorrow in the waiting room by filling bellies. Zack couldn’t eat, though; not until he knew if Bonnie would be okay. So he just listened as the others chowed down on sandwiches and chips, coffee, and cupcakes Krista had brought.

  They’d been here for hours, and still nothing on Bonnie. Zack tried to nap but was uncomfortable in the foreign surroundings, not knowing if someone was about to sneak attack. Vulnerable, he kept himself close to his friends but stayed quiet, preferring to listen to their chatter.

  Krista’s baby was sleeping in her arms while she sat next to Zack.

  “How are you doing with all this?” Her voice was kind, and Zack appreciated it. He could smell the baby powder scent all new moms seemed to exude.

  “How can I be doing? I’m relieved we found her, but now I don’t know if she’s going to be okay. It’s fucking killing me.” He kept his voice low, but the urgency wouldn’t be stifled. Thankfully, he didn’t wake the baby.

  Krista’s voice softened. As the matriarch of the group, the longest-running female besides Miriam to be a part of the exclusive clique, she seemed to be brimming with words of wisdom.

  “You guys have a knack for giving your girls what we need, even when we don’t understand it. Bonnie will be okay, I promise. It may take some time for her physically, maybe even longer for the mental stuff, but she has the best support system behind her. She’s got you and her brothers to take care of her. She’ll thrive under it, and before you know it, you’ll be back at my house, kicking my gnomes.”

  Zack found himself smiling, vaguely. “I hate those fucking bastards,” he quipped, but wasn’t feeling it. But he knew if he didn’t, he would sink down into that foul mood he’d been in for months.

  Zack had always been the funny guy. And Dude—his imaginary alter ego who always seemed to find some kind of kickass humor in almost every situation—helped with that. It dawned on Zack that Dude hadn’t been around since he’d found Bonnie again, coming back only to help him find her. He knew Dude was a defense mechanism for his blindness. When he’d started losing his sight, he’d created him to help himself cope. But as he thought back, Zack realized Dude had been scarce since that night at South by Southwest—until tonight.

  Then again, his sense of humor had been almost non-existent lately, too. With all the shit with his dad, he hadn’t found much to smile about, even though that was his biggest defense mechanism.

  Krista stood abruptly. “Here. I’ve got to pee. You don’t mind, do you?” She was practically dropping the baby in his lap, and Zack had no choice but to comply.

  “Uh, I guess not.” With that, Krista was gone, and Zack was left holding a baby he couldn’t see. Awkwardly, he put her on his shoulder, like he assumed she’d been sleeping on Krista’s. The overwhelming scent of something sweet filled his nostrils. God, how innocent was this child? The scent could only be described as freshness, newness, and innocence. It was fabulous, and Zack caught himself inhaling deeply, desperate to fill his lungs with the sweet smell of baby.

  He wanted kids. He wanted Bonnie’s kids. But that led to his greatest fear—the fear he rarely acknowledged to himself but never to others.

  The fear of never being able to look into his child’s eyes, to know exactly what they looked like, to see their laughter, their tears. Of his baby, as well as their babies, inheriting this God-forsaken blindness. His throat thickened painfully, and Zack lowered his face to the child’s blanket and sniffed back tears.

  God, he was fucking crying.

  Slade and Deena Rae interrupted him before he started blubbering like an idiot.

  “Give her to me before you soak her, you fucker.” Deena Rae’s voice contradicted her words. Rarely this soft and gentle, she reached for the bundle, which Zack willingly gave up to her.

  “Watch your damn language, Deena Rae. You spend too much time with her, and her first words will be Hillbilly Thunder Cunt.” Zack was grateful for the diversion and smiled as he spoke the words softly. Deena Rae harrumphed, but it was soft and almost a laugh.

  “Come on, man. Let’s go outside for some air.” Slade clearly understood Zack’s need let this shit out, just not in front of people. Zack reached out, and Slade put his hand on his shoulder, leading him past everyone and out the door. When they were alone, hopefully, Slade grated
out in a husky voice, “I’m not much for showing emotion, but I get that sometimes it happens. Figured you might want to be away for a little bit.”

  “Thanks,” Zack managed to choke out before he completely lost it. Every emotion—from waking up in a hospital bed learning he’d lost Bonnie, then finding her broken and bloody body, to smelling that damn baby and being reminded he’d never get to see his own child—flooded through him.

  Everything came out in a long wail. It would have been embarrassing, but he couldn’t find it in him to give a shit. So what if he was being a pussy in front of the brother he didn’t know he had until a month ago? He was over it all.

  “The thing is, I knew a time would come where I’d never be able to see her. Can you imagine? Knowing that and not being able to do anything to stop it? Wanting to see her one last time and being blocked at every turn?”

  A voice stopped him from speaking more. Apparently, Quinten had walked out with them and Zack hadn’t even noticed.

  “I’m sorry.” His voice was low and sincere. The fucker knew what he’d done to Zack by keeping Bonnie away from him. “I am.”

  Zack turned to his friend. “I want to kick your ass so hard right now.” They all knew Quinten hadn’t been the only one to keep them apart; Zack’s own actions had done a superb job at that.

  The three of them stood under a light in the lot of the hospital, and Zack watched Quinten’s massive shadow as it moved closer.

  “Go ahead. Hit me. As much as you want. I probably deserve it.” Quinten had to know he’d had a hand in pushing Zack away from Bonnie.

  Zack hit his friend in the gut as hard as he could. Quinten was ready for it, probably unconsciously tensing his muscles in preparation, but he didn’t react. He didn’t fight back.

  “Again,” he gritted out.

  Zack took a deep breath, filling his lungs with fortifying oxygen, willing it to his muscles. And then he surprised himself. Launching himself at Quinten, he embraced the giant in a bone-crushing hug. It wasn’t the back-slapping bro hug of their youth, it was a full-on I-love-you-man hug. Quinten stiffened under his arms, but eventually returned it, the two men gripping each other like they were each other’s’ life force.

  “Boys,” Miriam tsked as she approached and Zack and Quinten flew apart, embarrassed at the display. “Y’all okay?”

  “Yup. Go on back inside, Mir.” Quinten’s ragged voice made a slight pang of guilt slice up Zack’s spine. “I really am sorry. I didn’t realize how much you felt for her. I thought she was a game you were trying to play. I was trying to protect her.”

  “I know you were, but it fucking sucked, Q. I wasn’t playing her. Not then, not now. She wouldn’t fucking listen to me then. You remember how she was? She thought she knew everything.”

  “Duh, she’s still that way.”

  “And I wouldn’t know that, now, would I?” Anger was rising again in Zack, but he held it in check. He’d made his point. They were past this.

  “I get it. I was the asshole. I’ll do what I can for you guys to make it right. Swear.” Quinten’s shadow widened as he came closer, and then the shadow enveloped Zack in another hug.

  Man, they just had all the fucking feels now, didn’t they?

  It ended with a clap on the back, a painful one, reminding Zack Quinten could beat the shit out of him if he ever misstepped. And then he was gone.

  “Dude, remind me not to piss you off,” Slade murmured. “Him, either. You hit him with a punch that would take me down, and he barely even flinched.”

  Zack smiled ruefully. “He used to do that for a living of sorts.”

  “Yeah, I know, but holy shit.” Silence, which was awkward, but Slade finally broke it with, “Are you good, man?”

  “Yeah, I’m as good as I can be. Thanks.”

  Slade wrapped an arm around Zack’s shoulder, leading him back toward the entrance. “Then let’s go get the girls, man.”

  Inside, Quinten and Simon were head to head with Hollerman, whispering furiously. Zack joined them without invitation.

  Without missing a beat, Simon included Zack. “She can’t go home. He knows where she lives now. Your place, too. Y’all could keep staying at that hotel, but I’d feel better if y’all got the hell out of Austin.”

  Zack agreed. Jonas could find her in the hotel. They’d taken his plaything away, and he would want her back. “I could take her out of the country. Someplace like the Bahamas, Brazil, Paris …” His brain whirled with exotic locations, Bonnie in skimpy clothing, lots and lots of sex.

  Quinten stopped him. “The senator has some pretty long feelers. We have to assume he would be waiting for you guys to leave the country. That’s traceable.”

  “But does he still have the resources?” Zack mused. They’d gotten a new investigation opened into the Senator and his involvement with Macy’s abduction. Jonas too, since it was his club.

  “I don’t want to risk it.”

  An idea came to Zack, and he ran with it, enthusiasm building inside him at the prospects. “You douchebags just take care of Jonas and the senator. I’ll get her out of town as soon as she’s well enough to move. She’ll be safe with me.”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Two weeks later

  “You can’t go skiing!” Bonnie’s voice was shrill in the hotel room at the ski-lodge Evan had hooked them up with under their new, temporary identities. They had decided on Pamona Gulch, a small, artsy ski town in the mountains of New Mexico.

  “I can. There’s nothing to it. Just point me down a hill and let me fly.” Zack smirked at her, fully intending on doing it, whether she wanted him to or not. He had lost his independence but not his daredevil streak. He’d come to the realization, since arriving here, that the shadows were overwhelmed by the white snow. It would be refreshing to see nothing but white rushing at him instead of being mired in darkness all the time.

  “Is there anything I can do to talk you out of this?” Bonnie’s voice was filled with concern as she wrapped her arms around his waist and tucked her head into his chest. He loved this—her warmth pressed up against him, seeking comfort only he could provide. Pride welled up in him at the idea that he, a broken man, could give this woman what she needed.

  “Well, I can think of ways to temporarily distract me, but you know me. I’m like a pug, so intent on barking that I’m likely to bark my buggy eyeballs out.”

  “Well, thank you for that visual.”

  Shania was snuffling around the hotel room, checking things out before she crawled into her crate with a satisfied sigh and closed her eyes for a nap. They’d traveled all day, having just arrived with minimal luggage. They would need to shop for stuff, since zero places in Austin sold ski-wear. Besides, neither of them had gone to their apartments after staying at the hospital, where Bonnie had been under guard until she was released last night. Simon and Quinten had taken turns driving them to Pamona Gulch, an effort to keep her out of sight of Jonas, since he’d totally disappeared.

  “Lead me to the bed, and I’ll let you distract me until we go get some clothes. But I am getting on a slope before this is all over with.” His low murmur in his ear was a calculated one. Zack needed her like air, and hadn’t had a chance to show her what the rest of their life would be like. Sure, they’d had sex since they’d reconnected, but he was ready to make love to her.

  Her dainty fingers wrapped around his as she guided him until the backs of his knees hit the mattress. Zack wrapped his hands around her hips and fell backward, tugging her with him. He eased her down gently, as they’d landed in a laughing tangle of limbs, before his hand found the back of her neck and he pulled her down for a kiss.

  Bonnie let out a moan as their lips met, melding into each other with a seductive softness. Her warmth shredded something inside him, something he never wanted to see again. Kissing Bonnie gave Zack a new resolve to be everything she could ever want. With her in his arms, he was a new man, a man with no reservations, no inhibitions, no doubts. His self-conf
idence with her mouth wrapped around his tongue was at an all-time high.

  They kissed forever, the leisurely kisses of people who had nowhere they’d rather be, willing to lounge in bed and kiss all day long. They kissed like lovers, like friends, like soulmates.

  That thought sent a shiver racing through Zack. The need suddenly clutching his insides projected to his hands, and he found himself stripping her. Eyes closed, Zack didn’t want the shadows, the vague impressions of what Bonnie looked like. He wanted to see her in his mind’s eye. Where his sight was perfect.

  Zack’s hands on Bonnie were reverent, stroking her synapses, plucking at her nerves with the callused intensity only Zack could provide. His touch was different from the night at the hotel in the yoga swing, where his need and desire had overtaken everything, leaving her shattered. No. This touch was different; coupled with his closed lids and soft humming noises from his chest, it brought about something totally different.

  And he hadn’t even touched anything really erotic.

  He was keeping things relatively innocent, even though she was under no illusions of how impure Zack could be. But he was only touching her legs and stomach, caressing lightly, as if proving to her that he wasn’t a total hound. But he methodically stripped her clothing as he went, his hands exploring as if for the first time.

  Zack was being so sweet, worshipping her. That was almost her undoing. Lowering his head to her stomach, he sniffed slowly, inhaling the scent of her skin, and Bonnie had to arch into his touch. He stoked her, higher and higher, until she thought she would burst into flames at just his touch.

  Then his mouth went to work. Everywhere he touched, he would follow up with a taste, as if trying to experience her body with senses other than sight.

  His hands seemed to be everywhere, and his mouth wherever they weren’t. Bonnie clutched the sheets with white knuckles, her body writhing and gyrating underneath him. Zack’s body fell on top of hers, and she could feel his hardness against her thigh as it probed her heat.