Crystal Lies

by Melody Carlson

“Confront him?” Fear returned to my voice.

  “Yes. Tell him what you suspect, and ask him if it’s true.”

  “What if he lies?”

  “Well, he might. Just do your best to discern whether he’s lying or not.”

  I groaned. “I don’t think I even know how to do that anymore. I feel like I can barely discern what’s true for myself. How can I tell if someone else is lying?”

  “Look at his eyes,” she told me.

  “But he’s a lawyer,” I reminded her. “I have a feeling he can tell lies without anyone knowing.”

  “But he’s a Christian,” she said.

  “What makes you so sure anymore?” I asked.

  “We can’t judge him, Glennis.”

  I shook my head. “I’m so confused.”

  “Well, just pray about it,” she told me. “Maybe God will give you some special insight.”

  I seriously doubted this but didn’t say as much. “And what then? What if I am able to confront him, and believe me, that doesn’t seem very likely. But even if I am able to do this, what happens next? I mean if he’s…well, if he’s really having an affair. What then?”

  “Then you need to decide whether your marriage can be salvaged or not.”

  “Salvaged?” I imagined a pile of broken and worn furniture.

  “Yes. Is it possible that you guys could get counseling?”

  I forced a laugh. “Counseling? Are you serious? Geoffrey totally refused to go in for counseling when Jacob first started messing up. Do you think he’d go now?”

  “You need to at least ask him, Glennis.”

  “Why?” I demanded, suddenly angry. “Why do I have to ask him? He should be the one asking me. Why am I the one who always has to do everything?”

  Sherry patted my hand. “Just give it a try, Glennis.”

  “But I don’t see why, Sherry Why should I be the one to—”

  “Because if you do everything you can possibly do to save your marriage, then you won’t have so much garbage to deal with later.”

  “Later?”

  Sherry nodded. “Yes, whether you believe it or not, there will be a later. Remember when my sister Marla got divorced a few years ago?”

  “Sort of.”

  “Well, trust me, there’s lots of later.” “Oh.”

  “But what if I confront him and suggest counseling, and he still refuses?” I asked her. “What do I do then?”

  “Then…you get yourself a good lawyer.”

  Once again Sherry encouraged me to call her counselor friend. And finally I just gave in and sat there in my apartment, feeling like a six-year-old, as Sherry used her cell phone to call and make me an appointment for the following week.

  “Do I need to come get you next Friday?” asked Sherry as she made her way to the door. “I don’t mind taking you.”

  “No, I’m perfectly capable of getting myself to the shrink.”

  “She’s not a shrink, Glennis. She’s a counselor. And she’s really great at marriage counseling.”

  “How do you know this for sure?”

  Sherry winked. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy. If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

  “Very funny”

  “By the way,” she said with one hand on the doorknob,“I like what you’ve done with the place.” I forced a laugh. “I’ll bet.”

  “No, seriously. It’s really nice. It seems more like you than your big house on the hill.”

  “I’m not sure how to take that,” I told her. “Are you saying the real me is cheap and cheesy and—”

  “No, not that part. I mean what you’ve done with the colors and everything. It’s very cool and creative.”

  “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment,” I told her.

  “You’d better.” Then she studied me. “Have you ever considered doing something like this as a job?”

  “Huh?”

  “You know, decorating. You’d be great at it.”

  I frowned. “Yeah, sure. My degree is in education.”

  She waved her hand. “Oh, degrees are a dime a dozen. It’s talent that’s hard to come by.”

  I reached out and hugged her. “Thanks, Sherry,” I said. “You are always an encouragement to me.”

  “I’m serious,” she said. “You should consider it.”

  “Right,” I told her. “I’ll consider it…right in between helping my son to get his life straightened out, saving my marriage, and seeing your shrink.”

  “She’s not a shrink.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “And we’re still on for lunch on Saturday?” she asked.

  “If you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me in public.”

  “Oh, Glennis.” Then Sherry frowned as she surveyed my sorry-looking outfit of dirty sweatpants and a T-shirt. “But it wouldn’t hurt to clean up your act a little. Maybe we should go shopping.”

  I sighed. “Whatever.”

  “I’ll call.”

  “Thanks,” I told her as I closed the door. And I meant it. What would a person do at times like this without a good friend? I couldn’t even imagine. I knew she was right about confronting Geoffrey. But I just wasn’t sure I was up to it. Perhaps it would be better to wait a few days until I cooled off a bit, had a little more control over my emotions. But what if it only became harder the more I put it off? My policy in all things had always been to take care of things immediately. If something needed to be done, just do it. Of course, that seldom had anything to do with matters of the heart.

  I decided to take Sherry’s advice about cleaning up my act. And after a long shower and a decent change of clothes, I felt slightly better. I was surprised though. I put on a pair of jeans that had been pretty snug just a month ago, and now the waist was a bit loose. It figures, I thought, as I combed my hair. It takes having your life fall completely apart to finally lose some of those unwanted pounds. Oh, I knew I’d put on some extra weight over the past few years. I figured it had to do with stress eating, and I was always well aware of my increasing size whenever I went shopping. Naturally, Geoffrey liked to remind me of this fact on a fairly regular basis too. It had started out in what seemed an innocent way when he’d generously given me a yearlong membership to a top-notch gym for a Christmas present a couple of years ago. I’d meant to go, I really had, but there always seemed some really good reason to put it off. Finally I’d just hidden the membership in a drawer, then thrown it away after I realized it had expired.

  I suddenly remembered the day Sherry and I had seen Judith at Ziddies. I remembered how great Judith had looked, like she’d lost some weight and perhaps even gotten a facelift. Was that what had drawn my husband to her in the first place? Or had she tried to improve herself after getting involved with my husband? Would I ever know any of this for sure? And did it even matter?

  But suddenly I knew for certain that Sherry was right. I did need to confront him, and the sooner the better. And if I lost control and acted like a complete idiot or said things I’d regret later, well, so be it.

  Before confronting Geoffrey, I planned to check on the welfare of Winnie and Rufus. I drove over to the house with a real sense of mission. Worried that they’d been neglected or perhaps even abused—who knew what kind of monster Geoffrey had turned into lately?—my plan was to rescue the family pets and get out of there. I just hoped he hadn’t changed the locks on the house yet.

  Fortunately my key still worked. I let myself in and set out in search of the animals. But there was no sign of them anywhere. Even their food dishes and water bowls had been removed. I called and called, but they didn’t come. Feeling despair, I finally went outside and searched some more. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Geoffrey had turned them both out. But there was no trace of them out there either. I called a few more times and was about to go back into the house when I heard a woman’s voice.

  “Mrs. Harmon?”

  I turned to see old Mrs. Fieldstone standing on the other side of the gate between our ho
uses. “Oh, hello,” I called to her. “How are you?” She smiled. “I’m fine, dear. Are you looking for your pets?”

  “Well, I…uh…yes, I am.”

  She motioned for me to come over. “Winnie and Rufus have been visiting me.”

  “Visiting you?” I went over and stood on the other side of the gate. “Yes. I noticed you were gone, dear. And your kitty began visiting me.

  She seemed hungry, so naturally I fed her. Then I asked your husband about it, and he told me I could keep the cat.”

  “Keep her?”

  She nodded. “Oh, I didn’t mean to take her away, dear. But she seemed lonely and hungry and—”

  “No, that’s okay,” I assured her. “I mean I wish I could keep her myself. But, well, my husband and I are having some difficulties, you know, and…”

  “Come on over here,” said Mrs. Fieldstone as she opened the gate. “I’ll put on some tea, and we can talk.”

  Just then Rufus ran up and barked happily at me. I knelt down to pet the scruffy little guy, taking time to really scratch him behind the ears. Then I stood, and with Rufus running excitedly at my heels, I followed this small, white-haired woman into her house. I’d only been inside it a couple of times, but I had been quite impressed with its unique Frank Lloyd Wright-style of architecture. And everything in it was still original. Soon we were sitting at her kitchen table beside a window that overlooked the city and drinking tea.

  “Yes, the next day your husband asked if I’d like to have the little dog as well,” said Mrs. Fieldstone. “And I wasn’t too sure at first, but then Rufus came over to visit me, and we’ve been getting along like a house on fire ever since. Both of your animals are very nice and well behaved.”

  Just then Winnie jumped into my lap and began purring happily. “Do you really want to keep them?” I asked, feeling somewhat dismayed at the idea that I wasn’t only losing my home and my marriage but now it seemed my pets as well.

  “Oh, I only want to keep them until you’re ready to have them back, dear.” She passed a china plate of wafer sandwich cookies my direction. “I just couldn’t bear to see them taken to the pound.”

  “The pound?”

  She nodded. “That’s where Mr. Harmon said he was taking them.” I shook my head. “Well, I’m so glad you were kind enough to rescue them. Thank you so much.”

  “Not at all, dear.”

  “The problem is that I’m staying in a tiny apartment where pets aren’t allowed,” I explained. “And it’s on such a busy street that I don’t think they’d be safe there anyway. I signed a six-month lease.” I shook my head. “And I’m already regretting it.”

  She nodded as she set her cup down. “Regretting the lease? Or leaving your husband?”

  I shrugged. “Both, I guess.”

  “Are you two going to work things out?”

  “I don’t know for sure.” I studied this sweet-looking little woman and wondered how much I should really divulge.

  “It’s hard making a marriage work,” she said. “George and I were married for fifty-one years.” She shook her head. “I wish I could say they were all happy years, but that wouldn’t be completely truthful.”

  “You weren’t happily married?” I was surprised, since I’d always assumed the Fieldstones were a perfectly happy family. I knew they had four children and lots of grandchildren, all who came to visit regularly.

  “In my day you had to put up with a lot,” she said.

  “Oh.”

  “Yes, it’s true. My generation of women were taught to just grin and bear it. If your husband cheated on you, you had to turn your head and pretend you didn’t see. Or if you couldn’t take it anymore, you threw a little fit and” —she held up a wrinkled hand to show me a very large diamond ring that hung loosely on her ring finger—“you earned yourself a little bauble. Something for your troubles.” She laughed. “And in time it got a little better. Over the years George and I grew to be more compatible.” She looked closely at me. “But the hurt never went completely away.”

  I nodded.

  “And if I was a modern-day woman”—she smiled—“like you…well, I’m not sure that I would stick around and put up with that kind of hanky-panky either.”

  Suddenly I wondered if Mrs. Fieldstone knew something about my husband. “So have you seen them together?” I asked, hoping to make my voice sound lighter than I felt. “Geoffrey and Judith, I mean.”

  “I’ve seen a woman over there,” she admitted. “I knew you were gone, and I knew it wasn’t you. I figured it wasn’t a good thing.”

  “No,” I agreed. “It’s definitely not a good thing. I only just found out myself.”

  “Really?” she seemed surprised. “Then what made you leave, dear?” I considered this. “A lot of things, I guess. We were already having problems.”

  “I’m not surprised,” she said. “Knowing a bit about these things, you can be fairly assured that this fling with your husband and his fancy woman didn’t just happen because you left.”

  “No,” I said slowly,“I think it was already in the works.”

  She sighed. “Well, it’s an old story, dear. But I hope yours has a happy ending.”

  I thought about this. How could my story possibly have a happy ending when it looked like a hopeless tragedy right now?“Did yours?” I asked her.

  “Have a happy ending?” She held up her hands. “Look at me. Do I look happy to you?”

  “Actually, you do. I mean, I know your husband died about ten years ago, but you seem to be getting along just fine. I see your kids over here all the time, and you still work in your yard and—”

  “And life goes on.” She nodded. “And it will for you, too.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “And in the meantime, your animals are perfectly welcome to stay with me as long as necessary”

  “I’ll pay for their food,” I told her. “And if they need anything, anything at all, like to go to the vet, or if Rufus needs a bath, or whatever, I’ll take care of it. Just call me.” Then I wrote down my cell-phone number. “Please, call me about anything.”

  She nodded. “Of course, dear.”

  “And do you think it would be okay if I took Rufus for a walk sometime?”

  “Certainly. I think that’s a wonderful idea, dear. And perhaps you’d come for another cup of tea, too.”

  “And sympathy?”

  She reached over and patted my hand. “Of course, dear, I have lots of that to offer.”

  “It’s a deal,” I told her, thanking her again and again for everything.

  “Keep your chin up,” she told me as I went back through the gate toward the house where I once lived.

  I decided to go back inside for one last look. I’m not even sure why. Maybe I just wondered if there was anything I’d left behind, like my heart or maybe my mind. But after looking around, I realized that all I really wanted was to get away from this place. It no longer felt like my home. Instead it seemed as if it had been violated, perhaps the way you might feel if someone had broken in and stolen your valuables, or if you’d been invaded by aliens or perhaps just another woman. Whatever it was, it felt terrible and demoralizing.

  I was just opening the front door when I heard his voice in the back of the house, calling my name. The sound was like someone dumping a bucket of ice water over my head, and I didn’t know whether to stay and face my foe or simply bolt out the door and never look back. Fight or flight, I seemed to remember from some psych class long ago in another life. I felt paralyzed.

  “Glennis?” he called again, louder this time.

  “Confront him,” I remembered Sherry telling me. And hadn’t that been my plan when I’d left the apartment?“I’m in here,” I answered, but my voice sounded strange. Kind of low and flat and detached from the fear knotting my throat.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked when he finally emerged by way of the dining room.

  Maybe it was the way he asked this question, but it
sounded like a challenge to me. Like he was questioning my right to be in the house. And that made me angry Very angry “I used to live here,” I snapped. “Remember?”

  He folded his arms across his chest and carefully eyed me. I could tell he was taking inventory, and I’m sure I wasn’t measuring up. When had I last measured up?“But you left,” he said in a tightly controlled voice, probably the same one he used in court when questioning the opposition. “Remember?”

  I nodded. “That’s right. I did leave. And apparently I left just in time.”

  His left brow lifted ever so slightly, a barely perceivable motion, at least to someone who didn’t know him that well. But I’d seen it a lot over the years. It was one of those little signs that he was seriously worried about something. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean…I left just in time for you and Judith to come out into the open with your little affair—”

  “We are not having an affair!”

  But I could tell, even as he denied it, that they were. Oh, maybe they weren’t actually sleeping together yet, but they were definitely involved. “Don’t try to cover it up,” I said in what I hoped sounded like a bored voice, like I’d known about this for some time and wasn’t highly amused. “Everyone seems to know about it anyway.”

  “What—who do you mean?” he sputtered. Something the cool and collected city attorney seldom did.

  I waved my hand. “Does it really matter? Do you really want me to name names? Let’s just say the cat’s out of the bag now, Geoffrey.” I couldn’t believe how calm I was acting when inside I was seething. Maybe watching him lose it made it easier for me to keep myself together.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Glennis.” He gave his head a sharp shake and acted like he was looking out the window at something of real interest, but I knew he was just avoiding eye contact with me. “Everyone knows that Judith and I have worked together closely on this case, but that’s all there is to it. Simply a working relationship.”

  “Call it whatever you like, Geoffrey.” I stared at him now, seeing him in a whole new way. “Just don’t deny it. Okay?” I couldn’t believe this was the man I had married and lived with for more than two decades. Was he even in there somewhere? This man before me seemed more like the villain in a bad movie or the devil disguised as the man I once loved. But whatever he was, he was a stranger to me now. My heart didn’t recognize him anymore.