shadowland

by Radclyffe

  “Will do.”

  As Kyle buckled on her helmet and started her motorcycle, she admitted to herself that she was hoping to run into someone else there. She might not have all the answers. She might not even understand all that she felt. But she knew what she wanted, and what she wanted was to spend another night with Dane. Thinking about it called the heat to her blood and her stomach quivered with the first lick of arousal. God, let her be there. And let her be alone.

  Chapter Seven

  Kyle parked her bike at the end of the line in front of Leathers just as Caroline and Anne were getting out of a green camouflage-painted Jeep Wrangler. She called out a greeting, and they met on the sidewalk in front of the club.

  “I take it you’ve been here before,” Caroline probed.

  “Once. A few weeks ago.”

  “And?”

  “I had a great time.” Kyle shrugged a little sheepishly.

  Caroline looked as if she was about to ask another question, but Anne tugged her arm to quiet her. “Come on, hon. Don’t put her on the spot.”

  Kyle laughed and Caroline joined in.

  “She’s right,” Caroline acknowledged as they walked toward the entrance. “I never know when to quit. It’s not that I’m nosy—”

  “Yes, you are,” Anne interjected.

  “Okay—I am,” Caroline swatted Anne’s butt affectionately, “but I’m also really interested in how women feel about these things.”

  “I don’t mind the questions,” Kyle remarked as she paid her cover charge and got the back of her hand stamped with a small red X. “And I feel the same way—interested, I mean—in what others have experienced. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have come to the group tonight.”

  “See,” Caroline crowed, giving Anne a victorious look. “She said I could be nosy.”

  Anne shook her head at Kyle. “You’re in trouble now.”

  As they went through the ritual of forging a path to the bar through tightly pressed bodies, getting the harried bartender’s attention, and staking claim to one of the few remaining unoccupied tables, Kyle scanned the room. It was filled with women, but she saw no one she recognized. The wave of disappointment that followed was keen, but, at the same time, her pulse stirred with anticipation. She’d been lonely, she realized, these last few weeks—lonely for the company of those who understood her struggles without need for explanation or excuse.

  She loved Nancy and once, long ago, had thought she’d been in love with her. But they’d never slept together, probably because every time they’d come close, Nancy had been drunk. Kyle had worried that it was alcohol and not affection that had fueled her friend’s ardor, and she’d held out for a time when Nancy would reach for her out of clear-eyed desire and not just dazed lust. That moment had never come, and then Nancy had met Roger, and it was time to move on. Kyle had always known that Nancy’s friendship was something she could count on, even if half the time Nancy’s volatile temperament drove her crazy. Still, there were some critical issues Nancy could not understand, because they were too far beyond the realm of her experience. Being an outsider was one of them.

  Kyle looked around the room and sensed a kinship with these strangers that she did not share with her best friend—the one woman in her life she loved. If she dwelled on that irony too long, she’d want to drink just to forget it.

  Instead, she shook the dark thoughts away and studied Anne and Caroline, who sat close together across the tiny table crowded with their glasses, bottles, and a shallow saucer doubling as an ashtray. Anne’s hand was curled around the inside of Caroline’s thigh barely an inch south of decorum. The subtle show of possessiveness intrigued Kyle. She’d been trying to figure them out all evening. Caroline—older, seemingly more aggressive—gave off top vibes, but Anne—decidedly more butch looking than her lover—seemed anything but submissive. Kyle flashed to the brunette at the meeting, anyone’s picture of femininity, and knew without a doubt that she would be dominant in a scene. And I bottomed for Dane, and I’m hardly passive or femme. Oh, hell. So looks can be deceptive. Like that’s news?

  Smiling inwardly at her own unconscious stereotyping, Kyle asked, “How come you two went to the discussion group?”

  “What do you mean?” Caroline’s expression was curious and not the least bit defensive.

  “Well, you’re obviously not newcomers to the scene, so why bother?”

  “I think it’s because we still have things to learn about ourselves and our relationship.” Anne looked at Caroline, who nodded in agreement. “Sometimes sharing ideas, questioning our unconscious assumptions, makes us see our own lives in a different light.”

  “We end up exploring new aspects of our life together,” Caroline noted, grinning at Anne, who pretended to roll her eyes. “How about you, Kyle? Did it help?”

  “Sometimes, I almost feel like I’m coming out all over again.” Kyle regarded the crowded room pensively. “I haven’t given my own life much thought for a long time. I’ve pretty much been going along, never considering whether I liked the way it has worked out.” She shrugged and grimaced faintly. “That sounds a little feeble, doesn’t it?”

  “Not at all,” Caroline said quickly. “It just sounds honest.”

  “And you’re here now,” Anne added, “and that’s what counts.”

  Feeling suddenly much lighter at heart, Kyle reached for her untouched bottle of beer. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

  After a minute, Anne turned to her lover. “Are you planning to ask me to dance?”

  “Is that what you want?” Caroline asked casually, regarding Anne with a tilt of her head and an appraising glance. She dropped her eyes to the hand in her lap, then lifted them to meet her lover’s steadily.

  Anne’s lips parted, as if in surprise, and then she said quietly, “Yes, it is.”

  Caroline leaned close and whispered something against Anne’s ear that Kyle could not hear. Whatever it was, Anne’s quick flush of color was visible even in the hazy light tinted blue with smoke and dust. She nodded once, got up from the table, and disappeared into the mass of milling people.

  When Caroline glanced at Kyle, Kyle shrugged. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to stare.”

  “Really?” The corner of Caroline’s mouth lifted slightly. “You don’t like to watch?”

  Kyle carefully swallowed the mouthful of beer she’d almost choked on. “Ah—well, I...ah, fuck.” She laughed and ran a hand over her face. “Are you inviting me to?”

  “No,” Caroline’s smile grew, “but if you’re into that, I can point you in the right direction.”

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re enjoying my not-so-blissful ignorance?” Kyle complained good-naturedly.

  “Because,” Caroline answered seriously, “I have a feeling you’re in this for real, and I don’t think you’ll be ignorant for long. Plus I like you.” She stood and her eyes traveled around the room. “Now, I’ve got to go.”

  Her voice had dropped a notch, and Kyle caught a glimmer of heat in her eyes.

  “I have a woman waiting to be taken care of.”

  Kyle watched her slip away in the direction Anne had gone and couldn’t help but imagine just how Caroline intended to do that. She didn’t think about it too hard, because just being in the club had ignited the low hum of arousal in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t need any more stimulation; she was already distractingly aware of the pressure between her thighs.

  “Back again, huh?”

  The voice close to Kyle’s ear was unmistakable, and her stomach convulsed. Kyle turned to regard Dane, who looked better than Kyle had remembered in the throes of her frantic fantasies. Tonight Dane was dressed in full leathers, from her pants to the vest that covered her otherwise bare chest.

  “Hello.” Kyle’s throat was suddenly dry, and she hoped she wasn’t staring like a fool. Or grinning like an idiot. God, she is so hot. And so much better than any memory. “Yeah, here I am.”

  “This your first time back?” Dane sat down in
the empty chair next to Kyle, drained her bottle, and absently passed it from hand to hand. Have you found other lovers? Has someone else touched you the way I did?

  “Yes,” Kyle said, watching Dane carefully. She seemed distracted, distant, unapproachable. And beneath the cool façade, Kyle thought she might have looked unhappy. She resisted the urge to touch her, and realized that she’d done that a lot the last time they’d been together. Wanted to touch her and hadn’t.

  Dane looked up suddenly and caught the tail edge of a question in Kyle’s eyes. “What?”

  “Do you ever let anyone top you?”

  For a few desperate seconds, Kyle thought Dane would get up and leave. A curtain fell across her sharply sculpted features, which became completely still and totally unreadable. Kyle held her breath, feeling slightly sick. Don’t go. Tell me to fuck off. Tell me it’s none of my business. Just don’t go.

  Dane smiled slightly and pushed her bottle out in front of her. “Want another beer?”

  Kyle drew a shallow, shaky breath. “I’m still working on this one.”

  “So why are you here?”

  Looking for you. But she wasn’t about to risk saying anything else that might drive Dane away. As close as they’d been during those few intense hours, she couldn’t seem to reach her now. “I was at a meeting earlier, and I came over after with some women I met.”

  “Oh, man, not you, too.”

  “What do you mean?” Kyle asked carefully. Dane seemed edgy, restless, and a little angry, although Kyle sensed that the anger was not directed at her.

  “Oh, my friends were trying to get me to go to one tonight.” Dane sighed and looked around the club. “Not for me. I’m tired of all the talk.” Her expression said she was more than tired.

  “Dane?” Kyle stepped onto uncertain ground, knowing a mistake here would cost her. Cost her perhaps the one person she really wanted.

  “Hmm?”

  “It’s pretty tough to talk in here anyway.”

  Dane narrowed her eyes. “I thought you liked to talk?”

  “Sometimes I’d rather listen.”

  Dane pushed her chair back from the table, and Kyle watched her stand, her heart pounding. When Dane shifted out of sight, Kyle wasn’t certain she hadn’t left. Disappointment sliced through her, sharp enough to draw blood. Then warm, strong fingers brushed the side of her neck and slid beneath her collar. A thumb traced the muscle along the edge of her jaw. Fingertips glided over the surface of her collarbone. Kyle sat very still while a hot fist of desire formed in the pit of her stomach.

  Warm breath against her skin, soft lips against her ear. A low, husky voice.

  “Let’s dance.”

  It was like the first night, but slower, almost torturously slow. They danced to one song after another, not talking, while Dane’s hands on Kyle’s hips guided her against Dane’s body. Kyle massaged the muscles in Dane’s back while they moved to the music, remembering the way she had clung to Dane as she’d come in Dane’s arms. She groaned involuntarily.

  “Are you always so ready?” Dane murmured, her own breath hitching as the sound of Kyle’s excitement tore through her. Do you ever let any one top you? The question had taken her by surprise—no, more than that—had stunned her with its audacity. And the response that had leapt unbidden to her lips had terrified her. I might let you.

  “You make me want to come just looking at you.”

  Dane bit Kyle’s neck and drew another groan. “You need to learn a little discipline.”

  “All right.” Kyle’s vision was already hazy.

  Dane stepped away because she was in danger of losing control—of pushing Kyle into the corner and feasting on her. “I need a beer.”

  Kyle nearly protested. Her legs were leaden, her arousal so keen she ached. She saw Dane’s eyes, brilliant in the dim light, fixed on hers. You know I’m about to come apart here, don’t you? She saw something else in those blue depths, too. She saw need and want as sharp as her own. The power she experienced knowing that Dane wanted her made her daring. She turned so that no one nearby could see and ran a hand slowly down the center of Dane’s chest, over her stomach, and down the tight rise of leather over her crotch. She sensed rather than felt Dane shudder. “What about my lesson?”

  Dane grasped Kyle’s wrist and pressed the questing hand hard between her legs before pulling it away. Her expression didn’t change even when a spasm of pleasure rippled down her thighs. “If you can manage to be good, I might let you pay for that impertinence later.”

  Kyle met Dane’s eyes for an instant and then, unaccountably, looked down. “Whatever you say.”

  “I say,” Dane managed to repeat evenly, “let’s get that beer.”

  When they reached the table, Caroline and Anne had returned.

  “Glad you could make it to the group tonight, Dane,” Caroline said sarcastically before Dane and Kyle were even seated.

  “Ran short on time,” Dane replied tersely as she settled into a chair.

  “I’ll bet.”

  Confused by the sudden tension, Kyle regarded Dane and Caroline uneasily. So—they’re friends. I guess.

  Anne, also clearly uncomfortable, tried for a change in subject. “I see you two have met,” she began.

  “Yes.” Dane answered quickly, clearly disinclined to explain anything further. “I’m going for beers? Anybody need one?”

  When Caroline failed to answer and Anne got a panicked look on her face, Kyle half turned in the direction they were both staring. Someone she’d never seen before—a woman with keenly honed features and slicked-back raven hair—stood just beside her. Everything about her was austere and razor-sharp—from her tight-fitting black leather pants that accentuated her thin, rangy figure to her perfectly ironed white shirt with sleeves rolled to mid-forearm, exposing sinewy tendons and taut muscles. Long, slim fingers hooked loosely around a wide black leather belt.

  “Hello, Anne, Caroline.” Her voice was smooth, yet somehow dangerous.

  To Kyle, she appeared dangerous in a way that Dane, for all her cool aloofness, never did. It’s her eyes. The stranger’s eyes were flat, black disks that showed not the slightest trace of warmth.

  Caroline looked anxiously at Dane and then over at the new arrival. “Hello, Brad.”

  “I thought you might introduce me to your new friend here,” the cool, husky voice continued, her hand now resting lightly on Kyle’s shoulder.

  Kyle shifted in her seat, surprised by the unanticipated contact, but the hand remained firmly on her shoulder, massaging lightly. She glanced at Dane. Dane’s face was set, her jaw tight, and Kyle noticed a slight tremor in the hand that held an empty beer bottle.

  “This is Kyle, Brad,” Anne interjected in the sudden silence. “Kyle, this is Terry Bradley—Brad to most of us.”

  “Hello, Kyle,” Brad said softly. Suggestively. Then she pulled a chair from an adjoining table and sat down on Kyle’s right. Stretching her legs out, her thigh against Kyle’s, she tipped back slightly in her chair and slowly studied Kyle’s face. Then she dropped her gaze, lingering on the tanned triangle of skin exposed by Kyle’s open-collared shirt before moving downward.

  Since no words seemed required, Kyle simply nodded a greeting, acutely aware of Dane’s stiff silence. She tried to catch Dane’s eye, but Dane stared fixedly ahead, her expression inscrutable.

  Brad smiled slightly, a crooked grin that might have softened her features if it hadn’t held a hint of cruelty. Just as quickly, the smile disappeared, and she turned her attention to Dane as if seeing her for the first time. “And how is the legendary Dane Jorgensen these days?”

  Dane acknowledged Brad by tipping her bottle infinitesimally in her direction, but she did not meet her eyes. “Same as always, Brad. Fine.”

  Brad laughed, her gaze shifting to Anne and Caroline. “I haven’t seen much of you two lately. Is the dog business keeping you busy?”

  Her words seemed friendly, but Kyle detected an edge of condescension in h
er voice.

  “Don’t you keep up anymore?” Caroline replied nonchalantly. “Business has been great.” She looked pointedly at Dane, trying to gauge her friend’s response to Brad’s presence. She knew very well that Dane went out of her way to avoid Terry Bradley. And she knew why. “We’ve all been working hard, and we just wanted to come out to unwind tonight.”

  “Oh, yes,” Brad remarked slowly. “I did notice that Baron took best in show in Georgia. Things can’t be too bad. Still a one-dog show, though.”

  Dane stared at Brad, her face tight. “Baron deserves it, and you know it.”

  “Oh yes, I know it.” Brad dismissed Dane with a shrug and dropped her hand onto Kyle’s leg. “And how about you, Kyle? Are you into dogs, too?”

  “No—furniture.” Kyle didn’t have much room to maneuver around the crowded table, and when she edged away as much as she could, Brad only slid her hand higher on her thigh.

  Dane rose suddenly, her body tense. She looked down at Kyle and Brad, her eyes as dark and impenetrable now as Brad’s. “You should be careful how you choose your company, Kyle. Some people aren’t worth the effort.”

  Kyle jerked in surprise. What the hell is going on? “Dane—”

  “What’s the matter, Dane?” Brad asked, a hint of challenge in her voice. “Lost your competitive spirit?”

  “I’m not competing with you, Brad.” Dane smiled tightly. “I don’t have to.” She turned abruptly and within seconds had disappeared into the crowd.

  Anne and Caroline both stood. Caroline looked pointedly at Kyle. “We’re leaving soon, Kyle. You’re welcome to stay at our place tonight, if you don’t want to drive.”

  “Thanks, no,” Kyle said quietly, stunned by the quick turn of events. “I haven’t had much to drink. I’d rather just head home, too.”

  Brad’s grip tightened on Kyle’s leg. “You don’t have to leave so early, do you?”

  Finally able to move, Kyle twisted out from under the table and rose. “I’m afraid I do.”

  “Some other time, then,” Brad said congenially, draping her arm over Kyle’s now empty chair.