shadowland

by Radclyffe

  The ultimate trust.

  “You top me,” Kyle implored. Take me back, Dane. Make me yours.

  “I can’t.” Dane turned her face away, fear and uncertainty twisting through her soul. How can you trust me when you’ve seen my weakness? How can you put your life in my hands?

  “You can.” Kyle remained unmoving, scarcely breathing, afraid that Dane would leave her again. Afraid she would be abandoned to the demons that would surely claim her this time. Dane was the only point of light in the dark landscape of her soul. Only she could lead her out of the night.

  “Dane,” Kyle whispered in desperation, “please. I need you to...” Free me.

  “By your leave,” Dane whispered, turning to meet Kyle’s eyes. Give me permission. Give me the courage.

  “Yes.” Kyle let her hands fall open at her sides, releasing Dane’s arms. Head back, eyes closed, she opened herself to the promise of peace. “Anything.” I trust you.

  Dane undressed her gently, reverently caressing each inch of flesh she exposed. The restraints she passed around Kyle’s wrists were as soft as satin. When Kyle was bound face up on the bed, Dane whispered, “Watch me now.”

  As Kyle bore silent witness, Dane slowly stripped herself bare and stood boldly above her captive lover. She smiled as Kyle’s eyes widened with desire, and life burst within her like the sweet kiss of daybreak awakening the darkest night. Kyle had given her this joy, returning her power, restoring her soul.

  When Dane lay down upon her, Kyle arched upward, desperate to hold her. Instead, she melded with her lover along the length of her body, drawing Dane in with every cell. With her body restrained, Kyle’s spirit soared, welcoming Dane into every corner of her being.

  “Please take me,” Kyle whispered. Take me deep, take me back, take me home.

  Eyes open but hazy with need, Kyle knew only the feather-light caresses of warm lips against her skin and gentle hands stroking her face, her hair, her breasts. Relentless fingers played her nipples until currents of pleasure streaked through her straining muscles and pounded into her swollen, aching clitoris. A warm tongue and taunting teeth blazed a burning trail down the center of her quivering body.

  When Dane kissed the soft skin high on the inside of Kyle’s thighs, never touching the pulsating center of Kyle’s raging desire, Kyle writhed in search of release. She whimpered, struggling for the first time against the leather that bound her. “Please, oh please. Dane...touch me now.”

  Let me go. Set me free. Keep me safe.

  Dane lingered for a moment longer, holding Kyle’s passion like a fragile bird in her hand. When the power of their common desire rose within her, filling her, she lowered her mouth to Kyle’s waiting flesh. She brought her slowly to climax, teasingly, tormentingly, until Kyle’s orgasm could no longer be contained. At the moment the wild fluttering beneath her lips turned to pounding spasms, Dane pressed her fingers into her, claiming Kyle completely. Dane’s fulfillment at that moment surpassed any she had ever known, and her tears mingled with the essence of Kyle’s pleasure.

  As soon as Kyle quieted, Dane removed the restraints and stretched out beside her, cradling Kyle in her arms. She kissed Kyle’s softly fluttering lids and drew her still-shuddering body even closer. Fulfilled, having consummated her need in Kyle’s satisfaction, she rested her cheek against the top of Kyle’s head, feeling her lover’s rapid heartbeat against her breast.

  “Thank you,” Dane whispered. Kyle had entrusted her with this moment, and she had not failed. Drifting in the first true peace she had known in years, she was surprised into wakefulness by Kyle’s lips moving on hers.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” Kyle slid her tongue into Dane’s mouth, gently exploring and caressing. When she felt Dane’s hips begin to move restlessly beneath her own, Kyle eased away. She met Dane’s eyes, saw the questions in them. “I’ve been so lost.”

  “So have I.” Dane fisted her hand in Kyle’s hair, her eyes wounded and unsure. “There are scars, Kyle. Inside...and other places.”

  “Let me touch you.”

  Kyle waited until Dane nodded and relaxed her hold, then she slowly but firmly turned Dane onto her stomach. She knew what she would see, but she hadn’t truly been prepared. Heart bleeding, Kyle stared at Dane’s back, forcing herself to memorize every inch of tortured flesh. Hands trembling, she rested her fingers against the testament of Dane’s pain and traced each ridge of scar. Tears falling on the reminder of Dane’s torment, Kyle kissed the unscarred places on her lover’s sides and shoulders, then tenderly moved her lips over the ravages of Dane’s once-flawless skin. When she had finished caressing each hurt, wishing to heal each wound, she turned Dane over to face her once more. She gently stroked Dane’s face and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

  “I love you,” Kyle whispered.

  Dane sighed, her soul free at last.

  “I love you.”

  *

  Dane opened her eyes and immediately reached for Kyle. The bed was empty. She threw the covers aside, panic making her heart race.

  “Kyle!”

  Before Dane reached the bedroom door, Kyle, dressed only in her unbuttoned leather pants, appeared in the doorway.

  “What?” Kyle, her expression taut with concern, took Dane’s shoulders in her hands. She saw the fear swimming in Dane’s eyes, and her throat tightened. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Sorry,” Dane whispered. She rested her forehead against Kyle’s and closed her eyes. “I...I thought you’d left.”

  Kyle tightened her hold, unable to bear the uncertainty in Dane’s voice. “No. I’m not leaving.” Not until you tell me to. “I was making coffee. I seem to remember you prefer yours in bed in the morning.”

  Grinning, her anxiety subsiding, Dane leaned back in Kyle’s arms. “There’s a lot of things I like in the morning.”

  “Yeah, well,” Kyle murmured, her eyes traveling down Dane’s nude form, “you should probably get back in bed before you freeze, and we’ll see about those other things.”

  When Kyle returned a few moments later with two mugs of coffee, Dane was propped up on the pillows looking much more settled. Kyle held out the coffee and sat on the side of bed. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.” Dane regarded Kyle steadily. “How are you feeling?”

  Kyle sipped the hot brew, barely aware of the taste. She’d awakened to the sound of Brad calling her name, and her stomach had nearly revolted at the memory. If it hadn’t been for Dane pressed to her back, one arm around her waist, she thought she might have been sick. She shuddered. “Not so good.”

  Dane’s heart thudded painfully. “Something I did? Last night?”

  “Jesus, no,” Kyle remonstrated. She set the mug aside and put her hand on Dane’s forearm, gripping it tightly. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come for me...if you hadn’t been with me here, last night.” She struggled for words. “I think you might have saved my life.”

  “And you, mine. I haven’t felt anything for a long time,” Dane whispered, staring at the fingers wrapped around her arm. The last person who had touched her that way had been Brad.

  Kyle followed her gaze. She never likes anyone to touch her there. She jerked her hand away. “I’m sorry.”

  “No,” Dane said quickly, catching Kyle’s hand and lacing her fingers through Kyle’s. “It’s okay.” She smiled into Kyle’s worried eyes. “It’s good...when you touch me. Anywhere.” She pushed the covers aside. “Come back to bed.”

  “I keep seeing her,” Kyle confessed as she stood and pushed down her pants. As she slid into bed and curled into Dane’s arms, she sighed. “I’ve never been like that when I’ve topped. I didn’t care what she felt; I didn’t care how much she hurt.”

  “Brad will survive.” Dane smoothed a hand over Kyle’s hair and stroked her neck. “She’ll talk herself into believing it was all her idea and that you really quit because she outlasted you.” She lifted Kyle’s chin and kissed her softly. “I know that wasn�
��t you up there last night. A small part of you...maybe. But not the whole of you, and that’s what matters.”

  “How can you be so sure?” Kyle drew her head away and pressed her lips to Dane’s breast, above her heart. How can you trust me with your body? With your soul?

  “You cried for me last night,” Dane whispered. She circled Kyle’s shoulders and drew Kyle over her, opening her legs to enclose Kyle’s thigh. She found Kyle’s mouth with hers and let her kiss speak of love. Slow and gentle and certain at first, building inexorably to a passionate tryst. She moaned into Kyle’s mouth and lifted her hips, urging Kyle to reach for her, into her.

  “I love you,” Kyle choked, slipping her hand between their bodies to find Dane wet and open and ready. When she felt the smooth, strong muscles close around her fingers, she groaned. Watching Dane’s pupils flicker and darken to deep pools of desire with each thrust, her heart filled with wonder and thanks.

  “Stay with me,” Kyle murmured, meaning so much more than the moment. She felt Dane’s thighs clench and the first rush of her climax ripple through her depths. “Say yes, Dane.”

  Dane’s hips lifted, and she clutched Kyle’s shoulders hard. The far side of ecstasy beckoned, sweet and terrible in its beauty. “I...love you.”

  “Say you’ll stay.” Kyle pushed harder, deeper—saw Dane’s eyes grow cloudy with the need to surrender. “Say yes.”

  “Yes,” Dane cried, giving Kyle all she had. “Oh God, yes.”

  *

  Caroline looked up from her third cup of coffee of the day at the two familiar figures behind Anne. Kyle wore her leathers still; Dane was in denim and boots. Caroline’s sigh of relief was audible. “Thank God you’re here. Don’t you believe in answering the telephone, Dane?”

  “Sorry...I turned it off.” Dane straddled a chair at the table and pulled one over next to her for Kyle.

  “Well, then tell me everything. You owe me that much for scaring me half to death.”

  “We’re both all right.” Dane’s tone suggested understatement.

  Caroline regarded her friends through narrowed eyes, instantly noting the glow in Dane’s expression that had been absent for years. Kyle looked tired, but peaceful. And from the way Kyle’s gaze was fixed on Dane’s face, Caroline was certain that Kyle looked tired for a very good reason. “Yeah. You do look all right. Both of you.”

  “How’s Nancy?” Kyle asked. “Dane said you took her home?”

  “No, I ended up bringing her here. I called her husband last night to tell him she was okay and convinced him to wait until this morning to pick her up.” Caroline grimaced. “She was so strung out, I thought it would be better if she slept some of it off. You just missed them.” Caroline looked carefully at Dane, knowing how sensitive she was about certain subjects. “She’s been into some pretty heavy drugs. She’ll have a hard time for a while.”

  “Nancy’s tough. She’ll make it, as long as she stays away from Brad.” Kyle’s voice was laced with sorrow and regret. “Christ, I got her into that situation, and then I let her down when she needed a friend. I could have prevented this.”

  Dane shook her head. “I don’t think so, Kyle. Brad...” She stopped and drew a long breath. “Brad can be very enchanting when she chooses to be. And she reads people’s needs very well. She knows how to find their weaknesses, and she uses them. Then, with the drugs...she owns you.”

  Kyle’s hand strayed to Dane’s back, stroking her gently, knowing her flesh as her own. She didn’t try to stop Dane from remembering, knowing it was the only way for Dane to heal. “She might have had part of you once, but no more. No more.”

  “She doesn’t have either of us anymore.” Dane met Kyle’s gaze and leaned into the caress, accepting the love and respect in Kyle’s touch. Kyle had gifted her with that the previous night, by entrusting Dane with her body and her heart.

  Caroline blinked, astounded. Dane is sitting there, obviously reliving the dark times with Brad, and Kyle is right there with her. Loving her, supporting her. Now Dane finally has a chance to heal.

  “You know,” Anne said quietly from where she stood leaning against the counter, “when someone has a need, a need she can’t even define, and another person not only calls it by name but answers it—that’s pretty tough to resist. I don’t think anyone could have stopped Nancy from getting involved with Brad.” Anne pulled out the remaining chair and sat, briefly touching Dane’s shoulder in passing. “Or you either, Dane—back at the beginning. What counts is that you made it through, right?”

  Dane smiled at Anne as Caroline watched, open-mouthed. Even she rarely confronted Dane about her past quite so openly.

  “How come you never said that years ago, Chicken?” Dane asked kindly.

  Anne shrugged. “I was just a kid then—what did I know?”

  As they all laughed, the tension of the last tumultuous hours began to fade.

  “Dane?” Kyle’s voice was gentle.

  “Hmm?”

  “The woman you went to for...discipline. Who is she?”

  “Her name doesn’t matter.” Eyes sad, Dane shook her head and reached for her lover’s hand. Lacing her fingers through Kyle’s, she drew their joined hands to her thigh, connecting them. “She’s what remains when love dies, when we no longer believe in the possibility of its return. All that’s left is anger and then, not even that—just the need to define ourselves, our existence, by the power we can wield over someone else. She’s the person either of us might have become if we hadn’t risked loving one more time.”

  They kissed softly, two women united at last by a single unbreakable bond. Love.

  The End

  About the Author

  Radclyffe is a retired surgeon and full-time award-winning author-publisher with over thirty lesbian and anthologies in print. Seven of her works have been Lambda Literary finalists, including the Lambda Literary winners Erotic Interludes 2: Stolen Moments edited with Stacia Seaman; In Deep Waters 2; Distant Shores, Silent Thunder. She is the editor of Best Lesbian Romance 2009 and 2010 (Cleis Press), Erotic Interludes 2 through 5 and Romantic Interludes 1 and 2 with Stacia Seaman (BSB), and has selections in multiple anthologies including Best Lesbian Erotica 2006-2010; After Midnight; Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists; First-Timers; Ultimate Undies: Erotic Stories About Lingerie and Underwear; Hide and Seek; A is for Amour; H is for Hardcore; L is for Leather; Rubber Sex, Tasting Him, and Cowboy Erotica. She is the recipient of the 2003 and 2004 Alice B. Readers’ awards for her body of work and is also the president of Bold Strokes Books, one of the world’s largest independent LGBTQ publishing companies.

  Her latest release is an all-Radclyffe erotica anthology, Radical Encounters (Feb 2009) and the romantic intrigue novel Justice for All (April 2009), and the romance Secrets in the Stone (July 2009). Her forthcoming works include The Midnight Hunt (writing as L.L. Raand, March 2010) and the first in the First Responder Series, Trauma Alert (July 2010).

  Other Books Available From Bold Strokes Books

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