by M. Van
With Ash in my arms, I strutted to the door. The fact we were in a high-security military facility kind of sank in when the soldier who had been making notes at his desk stood and blocked our way. Anger started to surge through my veins. Who the hell did these people think they were? Did they think they could just do as they pleased as long as their reasons were just? Well, fuck them. I turned on my heel ready to spew my guts as Angie spoke up.
“Mags, please listen for a moment.”
I glared at her. She helped us get out of that place in Florida, why? So we could trade it for this?
Angie stood at the table—they all stood—their eyes fixed on Ash and me.
“They don’t want to test you,” she said in a strained voice. “That would kind of defeat the purpose. You’re already impervious to the virus.”
I glanced around the room, running Matley’s words over in my mind as I ran through the different phases in my mind. One, hormones, cancer, Mortem—subject, i.e. me, survived, check. Two, cancer, Mortem and some added hormones—subject named Ash survived, check. Three, add a combination of hormones and cancer—I had no idea how that would work, but it seemed the logical step. Angie was right—it would be a waste of time to test on us.
The concerned faces across the room suggested that it wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded inside my head. I walked toward the table. Ash was getting heavy in my arms and sat her down on the tabletop.
“I’m listening,” I said.
Except for the soldier who had returned to sit at his desk, everyone stood. Matley leaned forward, placing her knuckles on the table as she spoke.
“Agent Meadow is our best candidate for initiating phase two.”
Angie didn’t flinch at Matley’s words, although her complexion had turned paler. It seemed we had done a similar math, but mine didn’t add up. Hadn’t we passed that stage?
“I don’t get it,” I said. “You already know that phase works—we’ve seen it with Ash.”
“Actually we don’t,” Matley replied. “We need the solution to work as a vaccine, which means we have to synthesize it using your blood, and then there is the matter of the evolved state of the virus.”
I shuddered at the memory of the zombies I had seen that seemed as if they’d been aware of what they’d become but couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Dr. David had done something to them to make it worse—that’s what Angie had said back at the lab in Florida.
“We need a viable test case to monitor the results before we can continue with the next phase,” Matley continued. “And at this point, we have no guarantees.”
“So how dangerous is it then?” Ash asked.
“It’s dangerous, but I’m afraid we are not asking for permission to perform those tests,” Matley said. “Nor are we asking you two—at least not in a way you might think.” Her words came out calculated and cold and sounded similar to Dr. David’s. A chill ran down my spine at the thought of the two of them working together. Before I could respond, Mars slammed his fist on the table.
“What are her chances?” Mars said. He had been silent for so long, but I think he had enough of Dr. Matley—as had I.
“About fifty-fifty,” Matley said without an ounce of second-guessing.
“Wait, what are you sayin’?” Ash interjected. “There is a fifty-fifty chance Angie is goin’ to turn into a zombie, and you want us to be okay with that.” I locked with her wide-eyed gaze. There was fear in those eyes, something I had wished I wouldn’t face again. She shifted her butt over the table to get a better view of everyone. “Does anyone else think that’s wrong?”
“Sir,” Mars said straitening his back, “this is unacceptable, I will not have you force one of my agents—”
Whitfield cut him off and said, “Agent Marsden, at this point I am hoping that the ladies decided that we need their help, and they’d be willing to give it. We are not in the habit of forcing things.”
He directed his gaze at Dr. Matley. “Is that understood?” he said. Matley didn’t answer but nodded.
This statement from the general didn’t settle my nerves—the bigger the stakes, the easier it became to run morals out the door. Ash knew this as well and even voiced it by yelling at Dr. Matley, “I never should have come to you in the first place, you bitch.”
Unable to face Ash, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. I couldn’t let myself panic; I needed to be calm if only for Ash.
“I think we need a break,” I said. Without waiting for Whitfield’s reaction, I lifted Ash up from the table. This time the soldier at the desk didn’t try to stop me, so I opened the door and stepped inside the hall.
“We’ll be back in ten,” Angie said behind me, but I didn’t wait for her and stomped off to the bathroom down the hall.
Inside the bathroom, I checked if the stalls were empty before I sat Ash down on one of the toilets. I knew our guards—who hadn’t left our side since we’d arrived—would be standing outside by the door, but I didn’t care.
As I kneeled in front of her, wide eyes stared back at me, and her expression seemed locked in place. Her gaze went straight through me.
“Hey,” I said, “remember to breathe.” She blinked and refocused.
“It’s not fair,” she said. Her words echoed in the tiled space. “Why does this happen to u—” she started to say and I broke her off.
“Don’t think of it that way,” I said, pushing a strand of hair from her face. “A lot of bad things happen to all kinds of people. I don’t think fairness has anything to do with it. Besides, we’re still here while we shouldn’t have been.” She let out a breath and opened her mouth to speak when there was a knock on the stall door and Angie’s face peeked inside. She glanced over her shoulder before she snuck in. Amusement graced her face.
“That was quite an exit you made,” she said. “I thought Colonel Cornwell was having a fit when you left.” Her smile widened when she stepped inside the stall and knelt on Ash’s other side. “He argued with Mars about your rudeness when I followed you out,” she said.
“They can shove their military protocols up where the sun don’t shine,” I said.
Angie chuckled a laugh. It turned out Angie had actually a great laugh, and I could see it lightened Ash’s mood.
“So, what’s up,” she said. “You okay, kid.” Without warning, Ash smacked a fist into Angie’s upper arm.
“Don’t call me kid.”
Angie laughed harder at that. “I think she’ll be okay,” she said to me. It became eerily silent after that as we hunkered down in the tinny stall next to a toilet. My legs started to protest when I felt the pins and needles in my feet.
“What are you going to do?” I asked Angie.
“What can I do?” she said with a shrug. “Damned if I do and damned if I don’t, but I’m not alone in the decision making here.”
Our gazes locked before my head rocked back against the stall. She was right—Matley wanted all our participation.
“Whitfield said he wouldn’t force you, and I surely won’t, especially not this one,” Angie said and rubbed a hand through Ash’s hair. Ash looked up, but she still seemed dazed.
“And you think he’d keep his word?” I asked her.
Angie smirked in a what-do-you-think kind of way. “I guess not,” I added.
Another awkward silence fell in our confined space. Angie shifted to her butt, and I followed her example, although her short legs fitted better inside the stall than mine did.
For a moment, I watched the scrawny kid sitting on the closed lid of a toilet in the blue flight suit that matched her eyes. The sight of her triggered a chuckle that forced its way up my throat, but I managed to bite my lip in time to stifle it. Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“What?” she asked. I shook my head and pulled at the fabric that had crept up her leg. I don't know why, but suddenly it became clear what I needed to do. All I wanted was to keep this kid safe, and if I volunteered, I might be able to keep Ash out of Matley’s
clutches.
“I hate to be the devil’s advocate here, and please don’t punch me,” Angie said. I raised an eyebrow and glanced at her sideways. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve been getting a somewhat aggressive vibe from you today, and I’m sure Matley would agree.”
I grinned at her, but the smile on Angie’s face quickly dissipated.
“We could make a deal to keep her out of it,” she said.
“I was thinking the same thing,” I replied.
I still absently nodded in agreement as Ash’s head jerked up.
“Wait, what?” The expression on her face had gone from a vulnerable teenager to defiant one. “You’re both goin’ to do this willingly because you think it might stop them from usin’ me?” She glared at us in turn. “You’re crazy. These are the good guys, remember? They wouldn’t do that: the general promised.”
I could see the confusion in her face as she thought about it. Ash is not an idiot, and she must have noticed how Matley saw us as if we were just another science project, but in the end, she had always been a bigger sell on hope than me, and I guessed her sense of hope transcended her rational thought.
“These aren’t bad people,” Angie said tapping Ash’s arm with a finger and, drawing her attention. “But there are bigger issues out there than us, and they need to address them. A survivor more or less isn’t a concern to them.”
“But …” Ash stopped herself from finishing the sentence. “I know … I just hoped,” Ash said at a whisper.
“Hope sucks,” I said, “and we have to look out for ourselves.” Ash angled her head to inspect the floor.
“I don’t need you to protect me,” she said. “I don’t want you to—” Angie didn’t let her finish the sentence.
“That’s where you don’t have a choice, and don’t worry: it’s not because you’re a kid.” This time I punched Angie in the arm. Both of them looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“You’ve carried enough weight to last a lifetime,” I said as I scrambled to my feet. Ash was brought into this world by her parents with one purpose and that was to save her sister Alison. Those parents hadn’t expected that sisterly love to grow so big that Alison took her own life to safe Ash from further turmoil and examinations. Although I believed Ash would have continued doing it for the rest of her life if it meant keeping Alison in it.
I leaned in to kiss the top of her head. “Now it’s our turn,” I said. She glanced up with a sad look on her face.
“Oh, come on, enough with the puppy dog eyes,” Angie said as she got to her feet. “We have a very pissed off colonel waiting for us out there along with a general and some other folk. Let’s see if we can piss them off some more.”
With a grin on her face, she stepped out of the stall and trotted to the bathroom door, which she held open for us. Ash glanced from Angie to me and shrugged. I answered with a shrug of my own and bent down to pick her up.
| 20
It didn’t turn out to be a hard negotiation. None of them seemed eager to use a kid for their research, not even Matley. Although I got a sense that it wouldn’t have stopped them in the name of the greater good if we hadn’t threatened to sabotage their work.
Relief hit me as Mars picked up Ash from the chair next to mine. We had come to an agreement, and Mars would look after Ash while Angie and I got to spend some time in the lab with Matley.
Before he raised himself to his full height with Ash in his arms, he paused and whispered into my ear.
“We’ll see you later, okay,” he said. I nodded and watched him exit the room. Ash lifted a hand in good-bye as she peered over Mars’s shoulder, a grim expression on her face. It was when the door clicked shut that my relief transformed into unease. What had I gotten myself into? A glance at Angie told me she wasn’t too happy about it either.
After Mars and Ash had left, a young woman in plain clothes entered the room. She looked like secretary and was holding a file folder. As she handed it to General Whitfield, she whispered something in his ear. Something changed in the general’s posture as he nodded, and the woman quickly left the room.
“Let’s wrap this up,” he said in a stern voice. It seemed something more important had found the general’s attention.
This didn’t sit well with me—frankly, it pissed me off. These were our lives, and they were playing with them like chess pieces on a board. Although on an intellectual level I knew bigger things were at stake and the general had a whole lot more on his plate, I couldn’t help feeling resentful toward him for rushing us out.
“I know this won’t be easy for you, and we appreciate your taking the risks that you do, but we can’t afford to leave a single stone unturned in our war against this virus,” he said, rising out of his seat. “Still, we aren’t in the business of treating people like lab rats, so if there is anything you need or if you have questions, please address them to Colonel Cornwell. He’ll be overseeing this project.”
Whitfield gestured at Cornwell, who had remained seated at the table. After that, he left the room while Angie and I were rushed into the lab.
Sitting in a corner of the lab, I looked away from the tube as it filled with my blood. Dr. Matley loosened the strap around my upper arm while her eyes never left the tube. My legs dangled over the edge of the bed I was sitting on, and I glanced around the room. Angie sat in another corner of the room, a lab technician hovering over her. They sat far enough away that I couldn’t tell what the man was doing or what they were saying, but I guessed it probably involved tubes and needles.
Dr. Matley’s lab was uncharacteristically empty, considering the rest of the mountain base. You couldn’t go anywhere in this place without bumping into one person or another. Matley had created her own private little island buried underneath the earth.
“Have you known each other for long?” Dr. Matley said. Her voice pulled me back to our little corner of the lab.
“Who?” I asked, unsure if she meant Ash or Angie. She looked up with a kind smile.
“Special Agent in Charge Marsden,” she replied with a mock grin. I wasn’t expecting that, and guessed she must have seen us. It wasn’t as if we’d tried to hide this newly formed relationship, although I wasn’t that eager to share the details with Matley.
“A year or so,” I said, which was somewhat the truth even if I had seen him only on about three of the three hundred and sixty-five days. “Why?”
“You seem close,” she said. I watched as she switched a tube of blood for an empty one. I wondered what was on her mind but refused to ask.
“This is a dangerous game you play,” she finally said.
I turned to her in surprise. What was did she mean?
“What’s it to you,” I bit out. She wiped a speck of blood from my arm with some cotton and then finished loading the filled tubes onto her tray.
“I’m not judging you,” she said as she turned from the bed, “but you are a risk to people.”
My mouth must have fallen open, because for a moment I couldn’t form words.
“What does that mean?” I said.
I could feel the resentment that I had previously accumulated toward this woman build up further, and she must have heard it in my voice. She set the tray down and turned to face me. Her butt rested against the table as she crossed her arms.
“You might appear to be a healthy person, Ms. Vissers, but you are still infected and that means you are a threat to people.”
My stomach dropped, and all of a sudden I felt sick. The metal edges of the bed cut into my fingers as I gripped it tighter. Thoughts raced inside my head. Could I pass the infection on to others? What would it do to them? Would they turn into a zombie? Was it already too late? Oh my God, Mars.
“I’m not trying to scare you, but you need to be careful,” Matley said, breaking into my thoughts. She stepped closer and placed her hand on my shoulder. I tensed up at her touch. I didn’t like this woman, and in that white lab coat of hers, she reminded me too much of Dr. David. Sh
e must have noticed because she squeezed my shoulder once and then let go.
“I know there is no reason for you to trust me, considering my behavior,” she said. “Although in my defense, I am looking out for the world.”
She paused as if she wanted a reaction, but continued after I ignored her.
“It’s not as if you should be treated as a leper,” she said, “but be careful with the extracurricular activities. I mean … look at it as if it were HIV.”
I glared at her in shock. She had this fake concern plastered on her face. It had to be fake—this woman didn’t give a shit about Angie, Ash, or me for that matter.
“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” I said aloud.
On the other side of the room, I could see Angie’s head poke up and turn in our direction. Our eyes met, and I shook my head.
“Everything all right?” Angie shouted from across the room.
“Fine,” I replied in a strained voice. After a moment, Angie returned her attention to her own lab tech, and I took in a deep breath to calm myself. Matley shifted her feet and then moved around the bed.
“Now, I would like to start with a cervical smear, get the annoying bits out of the way first,” she said in that clinical voice I’d started to hate. How could a person hit you with news like that and then be all-businesslike a second later? The stupidity of the thought hit a moment later. I’d come across these people most of my life. Regular doctors in a hospital acted the same way—they had to. This was a job to them. One moment they’d be telling someone she was about to die, and a moment later, they’d be asking someone out for a cappuccino.
I looked up at Matley, who stood in front of me, waiting. The sickening feeling in my stomach rose, and I felt the color drain from my face. Matley raised an eyebrow, unaware for the reasons of my discomfort and oblivious to the fact she had told me I might have infected Mars with Mortem.
“Ah, yes, the wonderful things about being a woman,” she said.
