by M. Van
Dr. Matley had kept her examinations to the strict necessities and a day later weren’t even memorable. She needed some time to do her thing, and while Mars remained on active duty, Ash, Angie, and I had some time to kill. Mars had Angie almost forcibly removed from one of the control rooms. I had the privilege of being witness to that conversation, although it hadn’t been pretty. She had pained Mars by not telling him about her cancer, and it told me how much he cared about his partner and friend.
Taking her off duty was probably a good thing because I didn’t think her head was in it. I surely knew my head was all over the place, and I needed a distraction. It had brought us to the recreation room, which turned out to be a big gym. The guy who took care of all the equipment had told us that before the outbreak, the room had been packed with people throughout the day. Most employees belonged to the military and wanted to keep their bodies fit. But with the outbreak, priorities had shifted, and except for a couple of muscular types throwing around weights, the room was empty.
Ash had decided on honing her basketball skills. As she explained it, she needed to work on her game, although I doubted she had held a basketball before in her life. This meant I had to be the opponent or something while Angie sat on a bench with her knees pulled to her chest as she watched us.
Rap music blared over the tiny speakers of my phone, but with the constant pounding of the ball, it disappeared into nothingness. Fortunately, one of the people on staff here had a spare charger. We only owned the charger that we had used inside the Knight and it wouldn’t fit into any of the outlets. Ash would have been intolerable if we hadn’t found a way to charge the damn thing.
Two airmen stood in the corner to watch over us while Ash rolled around the court. She knew how to use that chair better than most people walked, and even dribbling a ball seemed to come natural to her. Scoring or even reaching the hoop turned out to be a greater challenge.
I, however, had no problem hitting the hoop or the board, but then bouncing off didn’t count as a point.
“Son of a …” Ash called out when her effort grazed the net. I caught the ball in a rebound and stopped at the line for a three-point shot. Lo and behold, it went in.
“Oh,” I exclaimed, “nothing but net!” With that, I ignored the fact the ball bounced about three times before it went in.
“Are you kiddin’ me,” Ash said as she retrieved the ball. “You’re not allowed to walk with the ball. You fouled that one.”
“Don’t give me semantics. I nailed it,” I said. unable to mask the broad smile on my face.
“Ahh, bite me,” Ash muttered. I waved her the bird while I moved to the bench to grab a towel. All this exercise had caused me to sweat, although I didn’t feel the exhaustion of running around on this court for an hour and a half as much as I used to. Apart from being infected with zombie juice, I was in the best shape of my life. Still, I’d had enough for today and sat down next to Angie while I watched Ash put in some more effort.
Angie kept a stoic face as she watched the court. I wondered if she even noticed Ash’s antics. A game of basketball had kept my mind off things for a while, but one look at Angie kicked my thoughts into gear. I hadn’t had the chance to talk to Mars yet; Whitfield called him in last night after dinner, and I hadn’t seen him since. The look he gave me, though, after he wanted to kiss good-bye as I turned my cheek from him, had kept me up during the night. Being close to him was a risk I couldn’t take, and I know I should have talked to him, but that didn’t come easily. I wasn’t ready to let go.
“You seem like you’re in a galaxy far away,” Angie said as she stared out at the court.
“In a spaceship next to yours, I guess.”
“Nah,” Angie started. “I’m way ahead of you.”
“I doubt it.”
Angie glanced at me sideways, stretched her legs out, and leaned back.
“Did Matley give you the infection speech?” she asked. “The one where you shouldn’t think of yourself as a leper? She told me I had that to look forward too—if their synthesized version of your blood works on me.”
Mimicking her posture, I leaned back and stretched out my legs, although mine were a lot longer. I let out a long sigh.
“I guess she has,” Angie said. “I’m telling you, that woman doesn’t have a subtle bone in her body.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that; it didn’t matter how she told us. The problem was she had told me too late—it might be too late. Angie didn’t wait for my reply; it seemed she already knew what I was thinking.
“I noticed your little exchange with Mars last night, or should I say lack of,” Angie said. I shot her a hard look, warning her to tread carefully—but who was I kidding? This was Agent Meadow, gun-slinging FBI agent, and it didn’t stop her from continuing her sentence. “I’m sorry,” she said. I looked at her in surprise. Those weren’t the words I expected.
“What,” she said, reacting to the expression on my face, “you thought I’d go lecture you on telling him?”
I blinked and then shook my head.
“I don’t know,” I said under my breath. “Maybe.”
Angie sat up, resting her arms on her knees. “Maybe he won’t care,” she said, tilting her head sideways. I stared at her dark eyes for a moment. Angie knew Mars better than I did, although I didn’t know for how long they had worked together. Maybe he wouldn’t care, but that wouldn’t mean it was smart to continue a relationship—especially not where certain physical contact could be lethal.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, sitting up. “I won’t take that risk.”
We sat in silence for a moment, listening to a blues track called “So Many Roads” between the thumping of Ash’s ball. The live track didn’t seem to fit the rest of the playlist.
“Hey,” Angie said as she nudged my shoulder. Her face held a mischievous grin, and her dark eyes gleamed. “Maybe the serum works, and they’ll inoculate everyone on the planet. Then we won’t have a problem.”
I grinned, but it quickly faded.
About ten minutes later, Ash gave up without having sunk one ball.
“Maybe you should try it with a tennis ball,” I said. A moment later the basketball flew my way. It bounced of my fist, and Ash caught the rebound. She stopped about an inch from my feet with a cheeky grin.
“Here,” I said as I threw her a towel. Along with the sweat on her brows, her grin disappeared. I ignored her thoughtful expression to loosen my shoelaces. While the loud and obnoxious Ash wasn’t always easy to bear, the silent, brooding Ash was even worse. I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “What?” I asked.
“You two haven’t said anything about your visits to the lab,” she said.
“Not much to say,” I replied with a shrug. “It went okay.” I could almost see her ponder her next words.
“It’ll work, right?” she finally asked. I tapped my foot against her chair, unsure what to answer—I didn’t want to lie to her.
“It’s all this complicated scientific stuff, and we don’t know,” Angie said when I didn’t reply. “I guess we will find out soon enough.”
I watched Ash fiddle with her towel, but she refused to make eye contact with me. One of the airmen who stood at the door started to approach us, and Ash’s gaze shifted to him. He stopped a few feet from us and cleared his throat. I looked up to face him.
“Agent Marsden called down,” he said in a formal tone. “He wanted to know whether you would join him for lunch.”
Shit was the only thing I could think as I stared up at the man. He patiently watched us, waiting for an answer. Angie stepped in when it didn’t come from me.
“We’ll meet him in the mess in an hour,” she said.
I managed to nod a thank you at the airman and then had to swallow hard as I turned to Ash and Angie.
“Guess it’s time to hit the showers,” I said.
| 21
Lunch came and went in the form of a coarse meal engulfed by awkward silence
s. I purposefully didn’t sit down next to Mars, instead opting for the seat next to Ash. It felt safer to have him at a distance, but it turned out to be the same mistake I had made with the seating arrangement in the boardroom. He kept watching me with those pale jade eyes, careful at first, adding a caring smile, but as the meal progressed, I could see concern rise to the surface when I failed to respond to his gestures.
I followed Ash and Angie down the hall as we walked to our room, Mars by my side. His hands sat hidden in his pockets and his chin all but touched his chest. His head perked up a couple of times, and I thought he might say something, but then I just caught him watching me. Maybe he was waiting for me to speak. After all, I was the one acting weird and I should have been the one to speak, but I just couldn’t get Matley’s words out of my head. What would I say to him?
We weaved through crowds of soldiers wearing greens and blue until we cornered a hall nearing our sleeping quarters. It seemed that our rooms were chosen on purpose, separated from the rest. The hall sat abandoned as Angie opened the door to let Ash roll inside. She waited for me at the door, a sullen expression on her face. The two soldiers guarding us took up their usual post.
Angie stood her ground in the door opening and didn’t move as I gestured to her to go in. She eyed me for a moment and then turned her gaze to Mars. After she cleared her throat she said, “I know I sort of said I wouldn’t tell you what to do, but you’re depressing me and the kid, so get a room and talk it out.” With that, she stepped inside and slammed the door shut.
“I’m not a kid,” Ash’s muffled voice came from behind the door.
I blinked at the closed door, startled by what had happened. Next to me Mars had a similar startled expression. Our two guards, though, couldn’t contain a smirk.
Mars nodded at the men as he took my arm. “She’ll be back,” he said.
The men didn’t reply, but one of them conspicuously cleared his throat. I turned around and glared at them both. Mars guided me across the hall to his room.
Inside I found a similar space to ours, except there stood one bunk bed instead of two, with a desk shoved against the other wall. Papers covered the desk, and clothes hung over the chair beside it.
Mars closed the door behind me, and I drew in a long breath. This was it, the moment I’d been dreading ever since Matley dropped the you’re-infected bomb on me.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Mars said. His warm voice fell over me, and I knew I shouldn’t let it in. If I did, it might prevent me from saying what needed to be said. My arms wrapped across my waist to steady myself. Unable to turn around, I opened my mouth to speak, but froze as his arms wrapped around me. His warm breath caressed my neck before he followed it with a soft kiss.
“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” he whispered near my ear.
“I …” I started to say, but hesitated. His arms released me, and he gently turned me around. He narrowed his eyes, gazing at me thoughtfully as if he were looking for a way to get inside my head.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked. I peered into his eyes, those beautiful pale jade eyes that usually made the reality around me fade away, but this time the added worry kept me in place. Without thinking I said, “That I turn you into a zombie.”
His eyes grew wide at my admission. Internally I scolded myself for my Dutch subtlety. It lasted but a moment before that familiar twinkle in his eyes returned. His mouth drew into that brilliant smile. It wasn’t the reaction I had expected.
“Matley told me … I can’t … I don’t want to …” I said, fumbling the words in an attempt to explain. Great timing to start messing up the language again. My mouth clamped shut as Mars wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
“I knew that,” he said, looking relieved.
I glared at him in disbelief, before he added, “I thought you’d read my note and had changed you mind.”
What note? Became my final coherent thought before his lips pressed to mine.
My back leaned against the door as my hand ran though his jet-black hair. Mars had pulled the zipper of my flight suit down to my belly button and had his face buried in my neck while his hands were elsewhere. Some form of rational thinking returned to me before his hands ventured into the place that would have made that impossible.
“Stop,” I whispered and repeated it a little louder when he didn’t respond. “Mars … Stop.”
He pulled away reluctantly, but far enough to gaze into my eyes. His heavy breathing hit my face in waves as his chest heaved.
“We can’t just … ignore … this …” I said, panting as hard as he was.
“I have protection, so don’t worry about it,” he said as lowered his head to nuzzle my neck. I sighed, indulging him for a moment and then pushed him in the shoulder.
Surprised, he stepped back as I turned away from him. I pulled the flight suit over my shoulder and zipped it up to cover my chest. There weren’t many places to sit inside the room except the bed, and that didn’t seem like the best option now. I took it anyway.
I plopped down on the bed and pressed my face into my hands. I heard another zipper go up, and then a hand pressed to my back as Mars sat down next to me. He pulled my hands from my face and forced me to look at him.
“I know what this virus does,” he said in a low voice. “I’ve known the moment that creature sank its teeth into your skin on I-678 that if you survived, Mortem would always remain in your system.”
With a finger, he traced my neckline to the discolored scar tissue that peeked out from under my flight suit—an unpleasant reminder of what zombies could do to a person. Then he pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “I’ve been investigating this thing for a long time, even from before the outbreak,” he continued. “Trust me: I know what it does.”
“It scares me,” I said into his shoulder. “I don’t want to be the one-” I broke off. I couldn’t even say it aloud because I could never forgive myself if Mars turned into a mindless rotting corpse because of me.
“Maybe if you’d learn more about it and understand it better,” he said. “We could take it slow until then, so you could get more comfortable to the idea.”
The doubt in his voice was palpable but combined with hope. He wanted me to give us a chance. I nodded, afraid my voice would betray my own doubt, and leaned into him.
When I returned to our room, Angie looked up expectantly from the magazine she’d been reading. I shook my head that I didn’t want to talk about it.
“Not now, okay,” I said at a whisper. She let out a breath, and returned to her magazine without a word.
Ash lay on the top bunk on her stomach facing the wall. Music blared from her earbuds, and her eyes were glued to the pages of a book. She hadn’t even heard me come in, and I decided to leave it at that. I climbed into my bunk and turned to face the wall.
It wasn’t as if my conversation with Mars had gone wrong or badly, but it hadn’t exactly eased my mind. I should have broken it off with him. Instead I let him talk me into taking it slow. I knew everything I needed to know about this virus: if you caught it without the proper hormone levels or a touch of cancer, you’d turn into a mostly brain-dead, rotting, living corpse that ate human beings for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
My hand reached under the mattress as I remembered the note Mars had mentioned. He had given it to me as a sort of peace offering. He had learned things about me during his investigation into Dr. David, and he wanted to level it out by telling me about himself. The note had kind of gone forgotten that first night. My face turned red at the memory, and I pressed it into my pillow, unable to withhold a smile.
I sucked in a breath to compose myself and then pulled the note from its hiding place. As I unfolded it, I could feel my heart pick up speed inside my chest. The paper shook in my hands as I started to read. By the time I’d finished, tears streamed down my face.
Behind me, I heard the magazine drop to the floor and Angie shift on her b
ed.
“Mags,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.
“I’m fine,” I said with more force than I wanted to.
“Okay,” Angie said at an even lower whisper and shifted back onto her bunk.
I buried my head into my pillow—wanting to disappear, to hide from it all and crumpled the piece of paper in my hand.
| 22
An airman nodded at me before he opened the door to the small waiting area. The room linked to Dr. Matley’s lab turned out to be similar to it but a different one from the room Angie and I had visited before. As in the other room, a large window gave a perfect view of the people buzzing next door, except here the glass was like those they used in interrogation scenes on television where you could see through one side of the glass and the other side acted as a mirror. I figured it to be the less expensive variant of the other window.
Angie sat on a gurney in the middle of the room, watching the activity on the other side of the glass. Except for a couple of chairs and a table with a pitcher of water, the room was bare.
It seemed early for Matley to start her tests, for it had only been four days since her initial examinations of Angie and me. However, Matley had access to Dr. David’s research, including the data from the tests he had done on me for a long time before we showed up. I just hoped it would work and Angie wouldn’t turn into a zombie.
“Nice dress,” I said as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. Angie inspected her white, paper-thin gown and shook her head.
“I love to dress up.”
“Brings back memories of how I met Ash,” I said, “rolling around the hospital in that old chair wearing that flimsy gown.”
Angie looked up with a smirk.
“I’ve had a similar meeting,” she said with a snorted laugh. “The kid kept worrying her naked butt stuck out.”
I thought back to that first day I had met Ash and remembered the gown streaked with blood and gore, but hadn’t notice if her naked butt stuck out. But then she had been sitting in either the car, the wheelchair, and later on that toilet after we entered that gas station.
