Begging for Bad Boys

by Willow Winters

  He frowns. “I hate you more right now than I’ve hated anything before in my life.”

  “Good, Leonard,” I say, bringing a twitch to his eye. “I want you to, Leonard. Because then, you’ll have the slightest inkling as to how I feel about you, Leonard. You are arrogant and rude and your beard looks stupid.”

  His jaw drops. “Your parents named you after an ugly, worthless shrub and I can’t wait to pluck every last one of them off that trail.”

  I gasp. “Go to hell!”

  “Gladly.”

  He kisses me. Or I kiss him. I can’t tell which happens first but as his arm slides behind my back and my knees turn to jelly, our tongues engage in seemingly endless battle. He bites down hard on my lip and I moan into his mouth. His beard scratches at me, trimmed and soft, and I silently mewl over it.

  Leo pushes us against his desk and his hand trails up my thigh. He scratches my skin as he lifts my skirt. I feel his erection sinking into me, triggering my slit to grow wet with need.

  The door swings open.

  “Hey…” Bobby pokes his head in and we pull apart so fast I slip off the desk and fall to the floor. “I don’t mean to interrupt this adorable little lover’s quarrel you two are having but the board is leaving.”

  Leo throws up his hands at my wincing face. “And now the board is leaving. The board—” He snaps back to Bobby. “The board is leaving?!”

  “Halfway to the elevator as we speak.”

  Leo casts another annoyed glance at me before rushing towards the door.

  Bobby stops him and whistles downward. “Lumberjack, ho,” he whispers, gesturing towards his groin.

  Leo pauses and adjusts his erection to make it less noticeable before bolting from the office.

  I slowly pull myself off the floor, my face burning as Bobby flashes a knowing smile.

  “Hi, Hazel,” he says.

  “… Hey.”

  “You okay?”

  I adjust my skirt back down again. “Yep.”

  He nods once and spins around to follow Leo across the office while I turn an extra bright shade of pink. I take a few breaths before following him out into the hallway.

  “Wait a second…” Leo chases them down as they board the elevator. “I haven’t given my presentation yet.”

  “No need, Leonard,” his father says, pausing near the back of the line. “They’ve all read over your new notes and it’s unanimous. Always was. The project will continue tomorrow, as scheduled.”

  My knees wobble again but not from nervous excitement this time. I lay a hand on the desk to keep the crushing weight from bringing me down.

  Mr. Jackman eyes my face and gives me that smile — one that now seems blatantly forced. “Young lady, your argument was very lovely but we can’t cancel a multi-million dollar project on sentiment. Our hands are tied.”

  My heart sinks even deeper.

  Leo exhales hard. “Thank you…” he says, shaking their hands. “Thank you. Thank you!”

  My eyes start to burn. All of this; every thought and moment since I discovered my mother’s diary has been for nothing. I was supposed to come to Lover’s Trail and find my purpose in this life but now I can’t and I never will.

  I failed.

  Chapter 18

  Leo

  Just like that, I breathe easier.

  I stand still, feeling the air easily fading in and out of my lungs, and watch as the board members enter the elevator.

  It’s over. The vote was unanimous. Every thought and moment since I first pitched the project two years ago have finally paid off. We break ground tomorrow and there’s nothing standing in the way of that anymore.

  My dad slaps my shoulder. “Christ, son. You look like someone sucker-punched you!”

  “No, I just, uh…” I blink out of my trance. “Feels good.”

  He shifts in front of me. “Look, Leonard, the board will always have your back. No matter what. Thirty years sitting at the head of the table and not once did they pull a fast one on me the day before breaking ground. But just remember one thing…” He leans forward and points a stiff finger at me. “It’s not over until the ink is dry. Stand up for your projects. The work comes first. Got it?”

  I give a quick nod. “Yeah, I got it.”

  My father extends his hand to me. “You’re doing some great work here, son. I’m proud of you.”

  I feel his strong handshake as it whips my wrist. It’s the first time he’s ever said he’s proud of me. Warmth spreads throughout my chest, bringing me to attention. I’ve wanted to hear him say that since I was a kid and now that he finally has, I can’t stop smiling.

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  He lets go and walks onto the open elevator. “And now that you have some free time — call your mother, please. She won’t stop bugging me about the holidays.”

  “I will.”

  The elevator doors slide closed on him. I stand still for several silent moments, letting it all sink in a little deeper before throwing up my hands.

  “Yes!”

  I spin around, still grinning with glee, and walk across the lobby to the front desk towards Hazel and Bobby.

  “See?” I gloat. “I told you it was sentimental bullshit.”

  She instantly averts her eyes to the floor and I pause, focusing on her trembling face. Bobby slinks backward, easing into his chair and pretends not to watch.

  “What are you doing?” I ask her. “Are you crying?”

  She tries to walk around me. “No.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “No, I’m not!”

  I slide out in front of her. “Why are you crying?” She keeps her head down and I flex my jaw in frustration. “Haze, it’s just a bunch of trees!”

  “To you!” she snaps. “It’s just a bunch of trees to you. To me, it was where I came from but you wouldn’t understand that because you don’t care about anything.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Really? Because since the moment I met you, it’s been all about your business or your family or you this and you that. You never listened to anything I said to you and it’s pretty clear that you only tolerated me for one reason and you can be damn sure I’m never letting you touch me ever again.”

  I reach for her hand but she takes off towards the elevator. “Hold on a minute…” I follow close behind her. “And what about you? You haven’t exactly been selfless, either. You never cared about what the people of this town wanted. It was just your parents and your family’s history. If saving this trail was so goddamn important, then why aren’t they here protesting for it, eh?”

  She halts and spins around. “Because they died two weeks ago!”

  I take a step back as the first tear spills over. “They did?”

  Hazel quickly wipes her eye with a shaking palm. “Yeah, they…” Her lip quivers. “They just wandered into the wrong place at the wrong time in downtown Spokane and…”

  I pause, feeling a sharp pang in my chest. “Why didn’t you say something before?”

  “Would it have mattered?”

  I hesitate. “No, but—”

  “That’s what I thought. Bye, Leo.” She continues down the hall.

  “Oh, come on, Hazel.” I pick up my pace to cut her off. “What do you want me to do?”

  Her voice strengthens. “Stop the project.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  I grit my teeth. “Won’t.”

  “Then, I guess we’re done here.” She pushes past me. “I’m going home now. Congratulations, Leo.”

  “Haze, wait…” I deflate. “Hazel!”

  She slams her fist against the call button as she’s forced to wait for the elevator to come back up.

  I approach her with a flexed jaw, feeling the words building on my tongue. “Wait a second…”

  “What?” she asks, just barely tilting her head in my direction.

  Just say it, you asshole.

  T
wo words and I can fix this. Well, maybe not fix it, but I can at least not seem like a total, soulless prick.

  The doors slide open and she pauses, staring up at me with those little, green eyes but I still can’t say it.

  “Have a safe trip,” I say instead.

  Hazel shifts with disappointment and steps onto the elevator. She looks at her feet but I can clearly see the tears rolling down her cheeks as the doors slide closed on her downturn face.

  I should be happier.

  I should be out having a drink and celebrating with Bobby but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I can’t shake off this feeling of guilt. Hazel left town hours ago. She should be back home in Spokane by now. It’s over. It’s all over.

  I should be happier but I feel like shit.

  I stare harder into my fireplace, watching as the flame dances and the wood burns. Pearl lays at my feet like she usually does but instead of going to sleep, she stares up at me with expectant eyes.

  “What?” I ask her. “You still hungry?”

  She stands up and lays her head on my knee, flashing a look of sympathy at me. I smile and scratch behind her ear.

  “I’m fine,” I tell her. “Ecstatic, even. Don’t you worry about me.”

  Her tail wags behind her.

  “I don’t miss her. You miss her. I couldn’t care less. I won, that’s all that matters. Tomorrow, that trail is gone. Best day… ever.”

  Pearl doesn’t blink.

  “I have no reason to feel guilty. I was just doing my job. I know that. She knows that. Why should I care what she thinks or how she feels or... what she’s doing right now...” I squint at the crackling flame. “How was I supposed to know her parents died, eh? If that was so important then she should have said it earlier. Not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  I look down at Pearl again, her face unconvinced.

  “I’m not the bad guy, Pearl. I’m just... the guy who ignored her feelings… and slept with her, a lot… and kind of hit her with my car a little. But I’m not a bad guy! Right?”

  She barks once.

  I sigh, feeling a wave of epiphany. “You know what? You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I should do something. I should...” I grit my teeth. “You know what? Fuck that. I did nothing wrong! I shouldn’t be sorry. She’s the one who should be sorry for what she put me through. Two whole years of work and now I can’t even sit back and enjoy it? To hell with this!”

  I rush towards the door and step into my boots as I throw my coat on.

  “Hazel freakin’ Smith of Spokane, Washington...”

  I reach above the door and grab my ax off the wall.

  Chapter 19

  Hazel

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been staring up at my ceiling. I got home late last night. My grandmother had already gone to sleep but I didn’t mind. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my trip.

  Her feet shuffle down the hallway outside my door. I lift my head and watch as her slow-moving shadow drifts along the floorboards. I hold my breath and lie still, hoping she doesn’t notice my keys sitting on the kitchen table.

  A few minutes later, her shadow comes back. “Hazel?”

  I exhale. “Yeah?”

  The doorknob twists and she pushes it open. “Oh, you’re home!”

  “Yeah, I got in last night. Didn’t want to wake you.”

  “Did you have fun?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “A little.”

  “Well, get up,” she says, waving her arms. “Come tell me all about it and I’ll fix us some coffee.”

  There’s no sense in delaying the inevitable now. I throw my feet on the floor and stretch as she walks back towards the kitchen.

  Obviously, I won’t be telling her everything. She’ll get the sanitized version. The happy version, more like. I’ll make something up about how beautiful the trail still is and how it all looks exactly how Mom described it. I won’t mention Leo and I sure as hell won’t say a word about how much time I spent in his bed. My grandma and I are close but not that close.

  I stop to get dressed and take a brush to my hair. Before I even set it back down, there’s a loud pounding on the front door. I step out into the hallway and glance over at my grandmother.

  “Jeepers,” she mutters from the table. “What in Heaven’s name is that?”

  “I’ll get it.”

  I turn around and head for the living room, quickly scanning the windows to check the street outside.

  “Hazel!”

  I stop in my tracks and my jaw drops. “Leo?”

  My feet stayed glued to the floor, hesitating to wander any closer until another pounding rocks the hinges.

  I jolt forward to pull the door open and he’s standing there on my porch. I scan him from head to toe. Dried mud covers his boots and jeans. A thick layer of sweat smears his face with a little bit of grime caked along his brow. His flannel shirt hangs open, revealing a white undershirt that’s just as wrinkled and dirty.

  I look behind him, my eyes falling to the tree trunk sitting on the porch. My breath catches as I see the heart carved into the side of it, drawn around two names.

  Carter + Olivia.

  My parents’ honeymoon tree.

  A lump grows in my throat. “Leo, what are you doing here?”

  He heaves a frustrated breath. “I hiked up and down Lover’s Trail all night long to find this stupid tree.”

  I look from him to the stump as shock settles in. “You did?”

  “Nine miles with nothing but a flashlight and my ax, hoping to find this thing before the loggers got to it in the morning. I chopped it down — by myself — and dragged the stump all the way back home. I cleaned it, sanded it, threw it in my truck, and then I drove all the way out here. Do you have any idea how many Smiths there are in this freakin’ city?”

  I wince. “No...”

  “A lot,” he says. “I’ve knocked on seventeen doors, outrun six rabid dogs, and onechihuahua... just to find you.”

  My pulse quickens. “Why?”

  He squints.“Why?”

  “Why?”

  “Because...” His face goes soft with hesitation. “Because I’m sorry.”

  My mouth falls open while I blink with confusion. Leonard Jackman doesn’t apologize. He’s not sorry for anything, and yet… here he is.

  “Oh…” I say, barely finding my voice.

  “So… there.” He takes a step back. “I said that and gave you this thing, so… bye.”

  Leo spins around and stomps towards his truck in the driveway, leaving me gutted and breathless.

  “Leo…”

  I look to the stump as warm tears fill my eyes, just begging to fall down my cheeks but I choke them down.

  “Wait.”

  I rush off the porch and cut across the grass as he backs his truck out. Caution tells me not to go any further but I step off the curb and plant myself ahead of his bumper in the street.

  Leo slams on the brakes and rolls his window down. “Get out of the way!” he shouts, sticking his head out.

  “No.”

  His eyes clenched closed. “Hazel…”

  “I’m not moving until you talk to me.”

  The truck lurches, making my heart leap as he shifts into park and throws the door open.

  “What?” he asks, hopping out and walking towards me. “What do you want now?”

  I stare up into his blue eyes, possibly the only soft feature on his stiff face. “Thank you,” I say.

  Leo pauses as a little warmth relaxes the lines on his eyes. “You’re welcome.”

  “I can’t believe you actually did that.”

  He shrugs with his hands in his pockets. “It was nothing.”

  “No, I really appreciate it.” I bite my lip. “You’re not as much of a cold-hearted jackass as you claim to be.”

  “Maybe not,” he nods, turning slightly. “I should get going…”

  My chest aches, tugging hard in his direction. “You were r
ight,” I mutter.

  He stops and his lips twitch. “Say that again.”

  “You were right,” I repeat, tasting bile. “I did use sex to try and get what I wanted out of you and I’m sorry. That was wrong. It wasn’t fair.”

  Leo shifts back over. “It’s okay. I did the same thing.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, I thought I could seduce you out of your whole crusade.”

  “Wow...” I look him up and down. “You really are cocky.”

  “It comes with the beard,” he jokes. “Obviously, it didn’t work. It just... made me really like you. A lot.”

  I smile. “It made me really like you, too.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well, the beard has charmed me a little…”

  “Two days in Whitefish and you’re already rolling like a local.”

  I shrug. “It’s that Montana mountain magic, I guess.”

  He grins. “I really am sorry, Hazel. You have to understand that I grew up in a world where people were either obstacles or stepping stones. You gotta give me a break here.”

  “And I will.”

  His eyes flick up. “You will?”

  “Well, I grew up in a world of compassion and second chances, so...”

  He exhales with relief. “Sounds nice.”

  “I think you’d like it.”

  “I think I’d like any world with you in it.”

  “You can kiss me now,” I chuckle. “You don’t have to keep talking.”

  He steps closer. “Oh, how the tables have turned.”

  I tilt my head up and he leans in, eyes slowly closing until our lips touch. He wraps his arms around me and lifts me up. I dangle an inch off the ground, locked happily in his arms as we kiss again.

  “Oh, don’t mind me, dear,” my grandmother shouts from the porch. “I’m just minding my own business over here...”

  Leo releases our kiss and his eyes flick over at her. “So, that’s your grandma?”

  “Yep,” I nod.