Redemption (Fateful Justice Book 2)

by Sara Vinduska

  Lash moved closer to her. “I like kissing you.”

  “How much?”

  “Let me show you.”

  Early the next morning, Lash kissed Lauren’s forehead, tucked the sheet around her and silently got out of bed. He hated sneaking around, but he figured the less people who saw him leaving her hotel room, the better. He silently eased the door shut behind him, nodded at the guard at the end of the hallway and continued on to the elevator.

  That was why he liked to keep his security detail small, the less people that knew his private business the better. The last thing he needed was some greedy bastard trying to sell stories about him to the tabloids or trying to write an unauthorized biography. God knows he’d had enough of that shit for one lifetime.

  He’d apologize to Lauren later. For now, he needed some privacy. To distance himself from how strongly he felt about her. He’d started one relationship in the midst of chaos and it had ended in tragedy. He didn’t want to make that mistake again. He couldn’t do that to Lauren. But damned if he could stay away from her.

  Lauren finished her coffee and sat the mug down on the room service tray. She removed her reading glasses and rubbed her eyes, looking at the papers and notes scattered around her on the bed. She needed to get her mind on what she was here to do and that was to catch a killer. But she couldn’t stop thinking about Lash.

  She shouldn’t be annoyed that he snuck out that morning without even waking her, but she was.

  She never should have started sleeping with him. It was impossible not to be attracted to him. He was even better looking in person than on camera. But there was so much more to him than met the eye. He’d been through some pretty tough times and had the scars, both emotional and physical, to prove it. But underneath that tough exterior was a more gentle side. And she knew she was in trouble, because the more she saw of him the more she wanted to get to know him.

  Oh yeah, she was definitely in trouble. She had never allowed herself to completely fall in love with a man and was totally unprepared for the wave of feelings she was having for Lash.

  She was fascinated by him - while his onscreen image was a tough guy, the real Lash Brogan had a sensitive side and had clearly been shaken to the core by all that had happened to him. She could only imagine what it was like to be the target of such violent people. To be abducted; to have your home, your safe haven, invaded; to be shot and nearly die. That alone could break even the strongest man. Then to battle drug addiction and recover only to lose the woman you loved was unthinkable. Add in the pressures of being a celebrity now working on his first major motion picture since the shooting and even it was turning into chaos. She couldn’t even begin to fathom what he must be going through.

  Now, once again he was caught in the middle of a situation that threatened his life. Her brother’s presence and the history between them probably didn’t help matters either. Which was another reason for her to not get personally involved in the situation.

  Part of her, from a clinical standpoint, wanted to help this strong man who couldn’t quite hide his vulnerabilities, to get him to open up to her completely. And she believed she could help him. But there was more to it than that. She was compelled to get to know him, to find out what was inside. There was an innate goodness there, despite everything he’d endured, the things he’d done, and the temptations he’d faced.

  His underlying vulnerability brought out her protective side. She wanted to take away whatever it was that still ate at him. She’d always been good at analyzing relationships, just no good at having them. But there was something about Lash that made her want to try again. With him.

  Lash finished going over his lines and stood next to Mark as Guy went over the upcoming scene. His eyes were drawn across the room where Lauren, Ward, and Guy were conferring with the two other feds. He still couldn’t get over how much sister and brother looked alike. They even stood the same way, right knee bent, left hand on their hip. He felt a curious fluttering in his stomach as Lauren looked up, giving him just a hint of a smile. It was enough for Lash to feel like he’d been struck by lightning.

  Jesus. He shook his head. He hadn’t expected this, and he sure as hell hadn’t expected it to happen with Special Agent Ward Calhoun’s sister. He’d carefully put back together the shattered pieces of his world after Justine had died, but now the shock that he could feel something this powerful again was enough to tilt that world off balance.

  And he had no idea what the hell to do about it. He knew he should stay away from her. It would be better for both of them. He couldn’t let the danger and swirling emotions around them cloud his judgment. He had to be realistic about her. They had zero chance of a normal relationship for a multitude of reasons.

  Lash shut himself in his hotel room that night. He was troubled and he couldn’t stop thinking about Lauren. He felt good when he was with her. He could be himself and she didn’t care. She accepted him, flaws and all. There weren’t many people he could say the same thing about. It was a rare gift, one he hadn’t expected to find again.

  She made him happy when they were together and he hadn’t been truly happy very much lately. He’d been content, yes. But not happy. He just hadn’t wanted to admit it.

  Oh, he supposed on some level he’d been aware that Justine’s death had left a huge hole in him, but he’d managed to cover it up with work and other things. He just kept telling himself to be thankful for what he and Justine had had together and accept that he’d never have that kind of love with anyone else.

  Now, Lauren had stripped away his defenses, making him long for that kind of connection again. But he was scared shitless of opening himself up to someone again and risk the pain of losing them. Part of him was also afraid that if he allowed himself to love another woman that he’d be betraying Justine and what they’d had together.

  He often wondered what would have happened if Justine had lived. He’d loved her, that was for sure, and she’d loved him. He’d been planning to ask her to marry him and she would have said yes. But they’d been so different. She’d been a very quiet, private person and his life was anything but. Still, he liked to think they would have made it work.

  In many ways, Lauren was better suited for him. There was something special and passionate between them and he wanted to explore it. In the past, he would have thrown caution to the wind and pursued her with everything he had, but following his impulses had gotten him into trouble more than once. He didn’t want to make a mistake. He sighed and rubbed his temples. He was tired of thinking. He was tired of being alone.

  Lauren answered on the first ring. “Meet me at the abandoned amusement park on Highway 57.”

  Lash was already there when Lauren arrived and for a moment she stood, watching him. He was sitting alone in the dark, gazing up at the stars. She made her way over and sat down next to him.

  “You shouldn’t have done this, coming here alone,” she said.

  Lash shrugged.

  “Your bodyguards are probably running all over town trying to find you.”

  “Nah, I called Hoyt, told him I was okay.”

  “I bet he’s pissed.”

  “He was, but he understands the need for privacy.” He didn’t tell her that Hoyt would be out there in the dark somewhere, keeping watch over them. He wasn’t worried about it though. Hoyt wouldn’t intrude and he was very good at being discreet.

  “Hoyt and Rafe aren’t what I expected.”

  “What do you mean?” Lash asked.

  “They’re not very big for starters. And they don’t look mean. They look pretty ordinary, actually.”

  Lash laughed. “That’s the idea. A lot of famous people hire the biggest meanest looking guys they can find. But looks don’t always intimidate people and those huge muscle-bound guys can’t move very fast in an emergency situation. Trust me, Hoyt and Rafe are the best there is.”

  “I guess they do appear like they’d be capable of violence, you just have to look to see it.”
/>
  Lash sobered a bit. “I think almost everyone is capable of violence under the right circumstances.”

  Lauren smiled and kissed him. “Enough serious talk.”

  He nuzzled his face against her hair. “I couldn’t agree more,” he said, tucking her tightly against his side.

  Lauren snuggled up next to him. “This is nice.”

  “Yeah,” he said, soaking up the peaceful night air and the soft feminine presence against his chest. “I really needed to get away from there for a while.”

  “I’m glad you wanted me with you,” she said, angling her head up.

  Lash smiled a crooked grin and kissed her so softly and tenderly she thought her heart would melt into the ground.

  He pulled back, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He shook his head. “We better stop now, while I’m still able to.”

  She stood and looked around, hands on her hips. “Let’s explore.”

  They walked around an old carousel, found scattered beer bottles, evidence that teenagers had partied there. “You sure we won’t get in trouble for trespassing or something?” she asked.

  Lash grinned and shook his head. “I think we’re fine.”

  “Good,” she said, putting a hand on his arm as they continued to explore every inch of the place, the abandoned rides, booths, the crumbling grandstand. They could almost hear the echoes of long ago crowds.

  Lauren looked around. “You know, if I wasn’t here with you I’d find this place extremely creepy. With you, it’s almost romantic.”

  “Did you have a bad experience at the carnival when you were little?”

  “Not that I remember,” Lauren answered.

  “Ward probably scared you with a clown when you were a kid.”

  Lauren shook her head. “He’d never do that. He’s been overly protective of me ever since I can remember.” She paused. “Hmm. Clowns do creep me out, though.”

  Lash was filled with a sudden sense of loss at never having a brother or sister to look out for. He also felt an increased admiration for Ward Calhoun.

  He looked at his watch, sighed seeing it was well after midnight, thinking of his early schedule tomorrow. “It’s late. We should get going.”

  He walked her back to her car, an arm draped protectively around her shoulders. He stopped in front of her door, kissed her deeply, then planted a hand on either side of her, lowered his forehead to hers.

  “My shooting schedule is crazy the next few days. Want to meet again Thursday, same time, same place?”

  She gave him a quick kiss and nodded.

  Back in her hotel bed, Lauren was tired and giddy. She had to remind herself again who Lash Brogan was. This was no ordinary man she was spending time with. She couldn’t afford to let her emotions run away from her.

  She had to force herself to think rationally about this. Despite the time they’d spent together, she had a feeling she was only getting a glimpse of what made up Lash Brogan. He’d opened up to her about his past, but he was still holding back. And she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever be able to give himself fully to someone again. But God, did she want to be that someone.

  So Lauren was left with no choice but to hold back some of her own feelings. It was self-preservation, and it was something she was good at.

  She sighed and pulled the other pillow over her head. She needed sleep. She needed to be at her best to be able to help Ward catch the bastard causing them all so much trouble. Although, if there hadn’t been so much trouble on the set, she never would have met Lash.

  Dammit, she was never going to be able to sleep.

  21

  Lash watched the last scene of the night wrapping up. He hoped like hell the movie would actually get made. He was starting to believe in it, believe in how good it could be, despite everything. Someone obviously didn’t want to see it finished, though. He looked up to see the crews packing up, the actors calling it a day.

  “Nice job,” he said as Mark walked by.

  Mark shrugged in response. “Yeah, it was all right.”

  Something was up with Mark, but Lash didn’t want to push it. He’d talk if he was ready. It was probably the scene they were getting ready to film in the morning. It was a pivotal scene in the movie and Mark’s final scene. Mark was probably nervous about it. Of course, unlike most of the actors, Mark had never wanted celebrity status or publicity. Now he’d stumbled into both and more on his first movie. His whole world was about to change. Lash would definitely have to take the guy out for a drink when they were finished.

  Guy waited for everyone to get into place. The house they were filming in had no air conditioning and even though it was 9 a.m., it was fucking hot. The set lights didn’t help matters. Neither did all the bodies cramped into the small space. But none of that mattered. His two leading men looked calm and cool and ready to begin.

  The heat most days on the set was unbearable. It took intense concentration to remember your lines and stay in character when sweat was running in rivers down your back. It was far from ideal as far as locations went. He knew Lash welcomed the challenge, thrived on it even. Of course, the makeup and wardrobe people had to work overtime to make sure the actors at least looked cool.

  It also gave Guy a good look at what the actors were made of. Some clearly wanted the easiest paycheck possible and detested the less than ideal working conditions. Luckily, there were ones like Lash and Mark who showed up on time every day in a good mood, knowing their lines and ready to work. They were true professionals.

  He gave the signal and they took their marks.

  Lash leaped over the battered old couch and crashed into Mark, taking them both down where they continued to struggle – bloody, battered, and exhausted.

  Mark’s hands found the gun an instant before Lash’s and he held on with all the strength he had left. They rolled, trying to position the gun. When it went off, they both lay still.

  Lash slowly got to his knees and looked down. “No,” he muttered feeling for a pulse. “Goddamn you for making me do this,” he shouted at the body. “Goddamn it all,” he said, running now for the door.

  “Cut!” Guy yelled and everyone in the room let out a collective sigh of relief as Mark got to his feet and did a mock bow.

  Lash came running back inside. “That was fucking great,” he said, clapping Mark on the back.

  They walked in silence for a minute before Mark stopped and turned to him. “I want you to know that it has been a remarkable experience for me to work with you, to be a part of a movie like this.”

  Lash frowned. “What are you trying to say?”

  “I’m saying that I’m done. I’m out.”

  “Because of what’s been happening on the set? Because it’s not usually like this.”

  “I know. This is my first big budget film, and it’s been amazing. The first day I was scared shitless, everything seemed so chaotic, and having to perform in front of so many people . . .”

  “It gets easier.”

  “Not for me. You’re a natural, you don’t even have to rehearse.”

  It was true. He preferred to just let go, acting on impulse and intuition as he responded to the other actors. “Everyone is different, you have to find the method that works best for you.”

  Mark started walking again. “You don’t understand. You have a gift. You’re good at acting and it shows, it also shows that you love doing it. It’s in your blood, part of who you are. Rodeoing is like that for me. Ever since that ride last month, it’s all I can think about, when I’m going to get back out there. I thought I’d try something else, something safer, but it didn’t work. This isn’t who I am, it’s not my passion.”

  Lash thought back to how natural Mark had looked on the back of a bull and how unnatural Hoyt looked in a cowboy hat and he smiled. “Well, I’m glad you figured it out. I think you would make a great actor, but I understand where you’re coming from.”

  “Yeah, I figured you would.”

  “At least
you went out with a bang.”

  Mark laughed, looked back at the trashed set, and shook his head. Then he reached out to shake Lash’s hand. “Thanks for everything.”

  “Let me know your schedule. I’m sure there are some big rodeos in Wyoming.”

  “Will do.”

  “When are you leaving?” Lash asked.

  “Tonight.”

  “Want to go grab a drink?”

  They both turned to see Lauren approaching.

  Mark grinned. “Nah, I think you have other plans.”

  Lash grinned and shook his hand. “Take care of yourself, man.”

  Lauren caught up to him just as he was walking to the car to be driven back to the hotel. “Jesus,” she said, taking a look at him.

  “It’s all fake blood, don’t worry.”

  “Looks real.”

  “It’s a pain in the ass to clean up. It’s even stickier than real blood. Want to come help me wash it off?”

  “Tempting, but I’m having dinner with my brother tonight.”

  “Why don’t you come by my room when you’re done,” Lash said, grinning.

  Lauren wondered if he knew what that grin did to the majority of the female population. God knows she couldn’t say no to it.

  When she got to his hotel room an hour later, he ushered her into the dark, candlelit room. He’d spread out a blanket on the floor and arranged the room service plates of dessert and a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket in the middle.

  He’d changed into jeans and a white T-shirt and was barefoot. She licked her lips.

  “What?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

  “I was just thinking how sexy you look in jeans and bare feet.”

  “Really?” He smiled, looking almost embarrassed.

  “Really.” She reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and her hand slid inside.

  Lash groaned and murmured in his Irish brogue and she was lost in him.