Redemption (Fateful Justice Book 2)

by Sara Vinduska

  “Uh huh.” Hoyt wasn’t convinced.

  Lash sighed. “I had a rough night, nightmares and shit. Jesus, stop worrying so much.”

  “It’s my job to be concerned about your safety.”

  “John, I’m only going to say this once. I’m fine. I promise, if I feel like using again, I’ll ask for help. Okay?”

  “Okay. Then let’s get the jet warmed up and get the hell out of here.”

  Having a jet and two bodyguards who could fly it were certainly perks of the job, Lash thought as he settled into the plush leather seat and watched the clouds fly by below him. As the miles passed, his tension lessened. He couldn’t wait for the peace and quiet of his ranch.

  And the inevitable visit from Andy.

  He slept ten hours straight once he’d settled in.

  He woke up in time to go with Hoyt to pick Andy up from the airport.

  After getting Andy settled into the guesthouse, they went into town to get lunch.

  “So how’s married life treating you?” Lash asked.

  Andy just looked at him.

  “What’s going on?” Lash asked. “Something’s on your mind.” He knew his friend too well after fourteen years.

  Andy paused, not sure if he should voice what he was thinking. “Something’s different about you and I think I know what it is.”

  “What are you talking about?” Lash asked with a touch of irritation.

  “I haven’t seen you like this in a long time. Who is she?”

  Lash was taken aback. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just because I had dinner with Calhoun’s sister. . .”

  “I think it’s more than just dinner. I haven’t seen you like this since Justine.”

  Lash closed his eyes at the mention of her name, trying to shut out the pain. But part of him knew that Andy was right.

  “Justine was so fragile in some ways, but so strong in others. She saved my life, she killed to protect me. And she was somehow able to put it all behind her and move forward when I couldn’t. She was everything I ever wanted. I didn’t deserve her.”

  Lash looked down and Andy could see the raw pain on his friend’s face, still fresh after all this time. “I know how much you loved her, but you’ve got to let it go.” He paused. “And Lauren?”

  Lash looked up. “Lauren. Lauren’s an amazing woman. She’s smart, independent, successful, not to mention gorgeous.”

  Andy saw a hint of a smile on Lash’s face, but knew not to press the issue. He hoped his friend wouldn’t let himself lose a second chance at happiness. “Let yourself love again,” he said quietly.

  “I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost her twice. Once because I was stupid and then she was taken away from me forever.”

  “Lash, I know how much you loved Justine, but she would want you to be happy and move on with your life.”

  The pain and anger in Lash’s eyes burned brighter. “No. You don’t get it. Losing her nearly destroyed me and I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.”

  “So you’re going to go through life, never allowing anyone to get too close to you, for fear of losing them.” Andy knew the comment would anger him, but with Lash, sometimes you had to piss him off to get through to him.

  Lash narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do that. I know you’re trying to help, but don’t.”

  They sat in silence for several long moments while Lash cooled off. Finally Lash spoke again. “It really is good to see you, man, and to be back here at home.”

  “How are things on the set?”

  “I wish I knew. Right now, I just hope we all make it through alive.”

  Andy laughed. “You couldn’t stay out of danger if you tried.”

  “Keeps things exciting.”

  Andy took it as a good sign that Lash was able to joke about everything that had happened to him. “Let’s go grab Hoyt and go out.”

  Lash shook his head. “Already tried, he won’t go.”

  “That guy is way too serious.”

  “Sometimes. He’s pretty intense, but he’s a good man.”

  “What about Rafe?” Andy asked.

  “Probably already getting laid,” Lash replied, laughing.

  Hoyt sat on the front steps of his cabin. He hadn’t wanted to leave, just in case something happened, he wanted to be close. But he was restless, didn’t want to be cooped up inside.

  His place was nice enough, it wasn’t that. The private cabin was his in addition to a small apartment in New York in Lash’s neighborhood. That apartment was way too upscale for his tastes. But it was convenient, and he could afford it on his salary. It made Lash feel better knowing he was nearby even when he wasn’t on duty.

  His apartment in town was nice too, but it wasn’t exactly home either. He’d rented it before he started working for Lash and had kept it, even though he rarely stayed there. He stood and scanned the skyline.

  He thought about finding Lash and Andy. It would be nice to just kick back, have a few drinks.

  Or find a woman.

  But he couldn’t let himself get distracted. The danger was real and he had to be ready. So he ran ten miles then worked on his marksmanship. He had to step back from his friendship with Lash to be able to protect him and that was getting harder and harder for him to do.

  One of the downsides to having time off for R & R was that it gave you too much free time for your mind to wander. And his mind wandered right back to the day he and Lash had been shot.

  He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that a man he’d worked alongside for a year had betrayed everyone he worked with as well as his employer.

  He had to believe that David Branch hadn’t known what he was getting into. He must have been desperate and John wished he had come to him for help. Whatever David was into, John would have tried his damnedest to get him out of it. He refused to believe that David had known the men he was involved with would try to kill everyone at the ranch.

  After the shooting, Lash and John had formed an easy friendship and he knew Lash trusted him completely. It wasn’t just that Hoyt had taken a bullet for him or their shared scars from that horrific day. They had both been betrayed by the same man. One Lash had considered a faithful employee, and John, a friend.

  Hoyt had a hard time trusting the other bodyguards after David’s betrayal. He knew he’d put Rafe through hell earning his trust. Though, the guy had deserved much of what Hoyt had dished out.

  He felt a familiar restless energy and knew what it meant. It was time for a change. He’d see Lash through the end of filming then he’d give his notice. He’d help find and train his replacement, of course, and wouldn’t leave until he knew Lash was in good hands. Then he’d take some time off. Maybe find a nice quiet beach somewhere . . .

  Lash sat outside on his deck, whiskey in hand, watching the sun set over the Teton Mountains. He’d had fun going out with Andy, but right now he needed to be alone.

  He took a deep breath of the clean fresh air. He’d been away from his ranch for too long. He felt more connected here, and he desperately needed to clear his head.

  He looked out over the land that was his. It was beautiful in its own way, rugged and warm, as opposed to his homeland’s cool, lushness. So much had happened here, good and bad. He still had so many memories of the times Justine had spent here with him. It was the place where they’d both almost died. And it had taken time for him to feel at home there again. But he couldn’t bring himself to sell the property. His connection to the land was too deep. It was what grounded him, where he came when he needed to get away from the crazy aspects of his life.

  He drank more, thought of Justine.

  Her death had been devastating for him. The first few weeks had been the hardest. He’d drank a lot and started to sink into depression. Ultimately, it was Justine herself who brought him out of it. He had felt her presence guiding him, giving him the strength to get on with his life. He firmly believed that she had come into his life for
a reason. She had been with him through his darkest hours. She had shown him what love was. The best way for him to honor her memory was to make the most of his life. And he had tried. Tried to be a better person, to use his fame for good.

  Everything in his life had changed when he met Justine. He’d spent years buying whatever it was he desired at the moment: cars, a plane, the best clothes money could buy. He’d had to fight off throngs of beautiful women. He supposed that a small part of him had realized that there was something wrong about the way he was living his life but he’d been too busy enjoying whatever brought him pleasure to heed it.

  Then she’d shown him that the one thing he thought he didn’t need, to fall in love and settle down with one woman, was the one thing he wanted and needed the most. Now that he’d lost that one thing, the other things in his life held little meaning.

  Except for his work. That was the one thing he lived for now. Most of the time it was enough. Sure, there were still times he longed for the kind of love he’d shared with Justine, but it was just too great of a risk. He didn’t want to put himself through that kind of pain again. It had nearly killed him the first time.

  He had almost convinced himself that he was doing a good job of it, then Ward Calhoun had to step back into his life, bringing back all those memories. And Lauren had to be his sister. He hadn’t considered opening his heart to another woman, didn’t think he’d even be able to. But there was something about Lauren. She’d made him realize that he’d been on autopilot for the last year and a half, going through the motions, but not really living. She made him want to live and love again. But he didn’t know if he was capable.

  He watched his three horses running in the distant pasture and fought down the images of Justine’s curly hair flying in the wind as she rode. She’d been a natural with them. He wondered if Lauren liked to ride. Then wondered if it mattered.

  He pictured Lauren’s face and smiled as he felt the stillness wash over him. She made him feel grounded. Settled. At peace.

  The need to hear Lauren’s voice was overwhelming. He picked up his phone. “It’s Lash,” he said when she answered.

  “Hi,” she said softly, concern tightening her voice. “Where are you?”

  “At my ranch in Wyoming.”

  “I was worried. You just disappeared.”

  Lash ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I had to get away from there.” He paused. “I miss you. I just wanted to say that.”

  “I miss you, too.”

  He smiled. “Good. I’ll see you in a few days.”

  “See you soon.”

  He hung up, feeling like his soul had settled.

  Lauren couldn’t deny that she had been hurt by Lash’s abrupt departure. And by the lack of any kind of communication from him. Yes, it had only been two days. Yes, he was a world famous movie star known for being a playboy. Yes, she’d only known him for a very brief period of time. Yes, they’d made no kind of commitment to each other.

  And yet, it had stung.

  The phone call helped but didn’t give her any answers.

  The only solution was to throw herself into her work. If she and Ward could figure this mess out, then maybe, she could think about her future. With or without Lash.

  39

  Guy watched Lash walk onto the set and shook his head. He’d been hoping that the time off would have helped whatever had been bothering him on the last day they’d filmed. Clearly that was not the case. His leading man appeared tired, broody, and looked like he’d rather be anywhere than on set right now.

  He knew Lash was professional enough to do the job that was required of him. But that wasn’t good enough for Guy. He knew what Lash was capable of. He’d just have to work extra hard to bring it out of him today.

  The actors took their places. “Okay, this is where we are,” Guy said, and described where in the story they were, the scenes that came before and after what they were getting ready to shoot.

  “And action.”

  “Cut,” he said five minutes later. “We’re going to do it again, exactly the same way. Lash, a word.”

  The actor followed him a few feet away. “Lash, I know we’re all dealing with a lot right now. I also know there’s something else bothering you, and whatever, or should I say whomever it is, I want you to focus on it.”

  Lash looked skeptically at Guy, but he trusted him more than any director he’d ever worked with. And he knew he’d been half-assing it all morning. He could do better.

  “Explore those dark places deep inside. Focus on the thing that’s upsetting you, focus on the feelings, turn them into energy and use them,” Guy said.

  Lash nodded and took a deep breath, closed his eyes and went inward, exploring the dark places, the feelings he wanted to avoid. The fears.

  He opened his eyes, and took his place again, not sure how much time had passed.

  After they were all ready again, Guy stood next to the camera operator. “Now this time, don’t hold anything back. Let it all go.”

  And he did. Lash threw himself into the role, into the raw power and emotion of his character.

  “Brilliant,” Guy said when it was finished. “Absolutely fucking brilliant. That’s a wrap.”

  Lash was the last actor left on the set. He nodded at Guy and gave a weary smile. Guy understood. It had been an emotional scene and Lash had put everything he had into it this time. That was how Guy knew an actor was really trying. They were physically and mentally exhausted after a scene like this.

  Lash went for a long walk after he left the set. Somehow, Guy’s direction to focus on and use what was troubling him had made everything more clear to him. And more simple. He loved Lauren and he was pretty sure that she loved him.

  They would have a lot to sort through once the movie was wrapped, but if things continued to go the way they were going, he felt very optimistic about their future. There was no reason to fight against it, that only added complications that didn’t exist. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

  “I tried to call you last night,” Lauren said the next morning.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear the phone ring.”

  A brief look of concern passed over her face.

  “I had a tough scene yesterday. It took a lot out of me.”

  Lauren thought he still looked tired. Things had happened pretty fast between them, maybe it would be best if they gave each other some space. Of course, she wondered what he’d done on his break. But the truth was, he didn’t owe her an explanation. They owed each other nothing. God knows they both had enough to deal with right now. And maybe, just maybe, when this was all over . . .

  “You want to take a nap with me?” Lash asked suddenly. It was too soon to talk about any of his new revelations about the two of them. That could come later.

  She smiled and nodded.

  He didn’t even try anything this time, he was just content to hold her while he fell asleep, enjoying the scent and feel of her next to him. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her. And he would. Soon.

  40

  Agent Thaler handed the notebook back to Lauren and turned towards Ward. “Her analysis is almost dead on with the bureau profile. The bureau’s concludes that our subject has killed before, Lauren’s agrees.”

  “Lauren?” Ward said, turning towards his sister.

  Lauren put on her glasses and flipped through the pages of her notebook. “I believe our subject has, up until a few months ago, been leading a basically normal life. I believe that something or someone associated with this movie triggered him into escalating his killing.”

  “Lash, have you learned anything new?”

  “There’s a security guy, been here since filming started. He was friends with Stan Millosky and it seems like he’s been far away each time one of these events have taken place. I tried to strike up a conversation with him yesterday, and I don’t know, I just didn’t like the way he was acting. I don’t have anything concrete; Hoyt’s going to work
on him. Excuse me,” he said going into the other room to answer his cell phone.

  Ward leaned back in the chair. “So basically, we still don’t have shit.”

  “Ward, everyone here is working as hard as we can.”

  They sat in silence, hearing nothing but the muffled sounds of Lash’s murmured voice on the phone, then the words became louder, “Tell me this isn’t happening, not now.”

  Then, muttered curses and the sound of the phone hitting something solid, like a wall.

  Five minutes later, Lash came back into the room, turned back, started pacing.

  Ward was instantly on his feet. “What is it?”

  Lash stopped and faced him. He ran a hand through his hair. It was bad enough that he had to pretend he and Lauren weren’t lovers whenever Ward was around, but now she would have to hear this. He supposed it was better that she hear it straight from him, but dammit, why now? Just when he had hopes of them having a real relationship. That was out of the question now. There was no way to hide what he’d just found out. Might as well get everything the fuck out in the open.

  He sighed. “Andy got a call this afternoon from a woman claiming I’m the father of her child. It’s hitting The Heat tomorrow.”

  “The timing of her coming forward now makes me wonder,” Ward said in a calm voice.

  “Yeah.” Lash couldn’t bring himself to look at Lauren.

  “It could be tied in to everything else that’s been going on.” He paused, “You know the woman?”

  “Not really.”

  “Not really?” Ward raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

  “I had a one night stand with her over a year ago,” Lash said in a hushed whisper.

  “So it’s possible she’s telling the truth? If it is, there may be no ulterior motive involved.”

  “It’s possible,” Lash admitted. He ran a hand over his face. He may want kids someday, but not like this. Christ, not like this. “Look, can we do this somewhere else?”

  Ward led him into the other room, shut the door, shot the actor a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, but we have to find out if she’s involved.”