My Child, Our Child (Silhouette Special Edition)

by Hagan, Patricia

  Sam Colton was obviously carrying a lot of baggage where women were concerned, so he was not a man she had any business getting involved with. But more and more, lately she found herself thinking about him and, yes, much as she hated to admit it, she was very much attracted to him. It was a one-way street to heartache. And she had to back off, think of him only as a business partner and nothing more.

  The only thing was, her heart did not seem to be listening.

  Chapter Eight

  Jackie admitted to being a bit lonely during Thanksgiving. Though the weather was nice—crisp and cold with brilliant blue skies and a gleaming sun, she found herself missing being around holiday festivities. If not for her car being out of commission, she knew she would have sought out a nursing home to visit residents who would otherwise have no company.

  What she needed, she had decided, was a telephone to keep in contact with the outside world. But the cabin had never been wired, and lines had not been run from town. When she applied, she was told there was a long wait list for rural areas.

  She busied herself around the cabin, making curtains for the windows and painting the cupboards in the kitchen.

  At first she felt very self-sufficient and was proud of herself for her accomplishments. But then she discovered a leak under the kitchen sink and had no idea how to fix it. Kevin had always called repairmen for the least little thing, and she’d never been handy with tools.

  Then she discovered she hadn’t ordered enough firewood and spent a night shivering under every blanket she could find to pile on the bed. The next morning she tried to chop some from the woodpile, but the ax was so dull it would have been hard put to cut butter.

  Her confidence began to wane, and she spent the rest of the day going over her budget to see if she could afford to buy more wood, as well as hire a plumber to fix the leak. But it was no use. She was running out of money, because she had spent more than she’d planned on fixing up the place.

  Mr. Burkhalter had told her there might be a delay in her receiving the year’s farm income that would have gone to Libby due to all the probate.

  She’d had only one conversation with Sam over finances, and that had been when she’d bluntly told him that after this harvest she intended to run her hundred acres on her own. He’d laughed, told her again she would not make it through her first winter, then pointed out that he could not go along with her getting all the profits from trees that he had planted and nurtured on her land that would be ready to cut the next year. So they agreed to share the future season fifty-fifty, which meant she would only get half the money she would have received otherwise.

  Things looked grim, but she was determined to remain undaunted. If she had to take a part-time job somewhere, so be it. She was dreading the talk Sam wanted to have, and every day she expected him to come driving up to her door.

  He came on Sunday, towards evening.

  She was sitting on the porch, enjoying the lovely weather and keeping a wary eye on dark clouds gathering to the west. The TV was on the blink, but she had a radio and had heard there was the chance of snow showers in the mountains. The temperature was steadily dropping, and she wished she’d found a way to get some wood, because she was almost out. Nights had been cold, and she wasn’t used to the harsh temperatures and had used the stove probably more than she should have.

  She watched as Sam drove slowly up the road, careful not to scatter gravel. That was a good sign. That meant he was calm, not upset and ready for battle. But what was there to fight about, anyway? If he wanted her to stay out of his business, fine. She would try to do just that, though it was going to be next to impossible to turn Brian away if he came around. As for anything else, like her accepting his offer to be bought out, forget it. North Carolinians were called Tar Heels because of how state soldiers had dug in their heels to fight in the Revolutionary War, and she was going to do the same thing—dig in and fight.

  He parked the truck, got out and quietly closed the door. He was wearing a brown cap emblazoned with the National Rifle Association logo, a red flannel shirt and khaki pants that looked like they just came out of the dryer.

  He was smiling.

  A good sign.

  She smiled back. “A belated ‘Happy Thanksgiving.’ How was it?”

  He settled in the rocker next to her. “Okay, I guess, but I’d rather have been home. I don’t like big cities, but my mother insisted on having an early Christmas for Brian. She’s leaving for Europe, and when she comes back she’ll be going to Florida till spring. Her husband has a condo in Sarasota.”

  “I’ve always wanted to go to Europe,” Jackie said wistfully. “But never had the means. London, Paris, Rome. I’d love to do them all.” She waved her arm in gesture.

  Sam lips curled in a sneer. “Typical woman. A gadabout. Always wanting to go somewhere.”

  She suspected that her enthusiasm for traveling had ignited memories of his ex-wife, but she was not about to be lumped into the category of flighty women. “No, that’s not true. Most women like the comfort and security of a home and a routine, but it’s normal to want a change once in a while. So just because I say I’d like to visit Europe, or anywhere else for that matter, does not make me a gadabout.”

  He gave her a strange look. “Well, pardon me. I didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers.”

  She let it drop. She had made her point. “So how is Brian? Did he enjoy visiting his grandmother?”

  “He seemed to.” He turned in his chair so he could look her straight in the eye. “Now that you’ve brought him up, let’s get to the point of why I’m here, Jackie.

  She braced herself. “Go ahead.”

  “I think you’re crazy to want to stay here, but I can’t stop you. What I can do, however, is ask you one more time to stay out of my business.”

  “Which means you want me to turn your child away. Sorry. I can’t do it. I agree he shouldn’t be out in the woods by himself, but he seems to know his way. But to run him off? No way.”

  “Very well,” he said with a nod of concession. “Then I’ll just have to try harder to make him stay home. I’ve been thinking of hiring a housekeeper. Maybe it’s time that I did. That will solve one problem, at least.”

  “You have more?” she asked, not liking the way he was looking at her like everything was her fault.

  “As a matter of fact I do. I wish we could have worked something out as to what you were going to tell people. It’s kind of embarrassing for people to find out someone besides a Colton has owned it all these years.”

  Jackie could not help bristling over that. “Well, you want to know something, Sam? I don’t care. You and your family shouldn’t have been so prideful. What Roy Colton did was nothing for you or any of your relatives to be ashamed of. It was a sweet gesture of love, and if you ask me, the world could use a little more of that. And what’s more, I’m certainly not ashamed of how I came to own it, so don’t expect me to act like I am.”

  “I like to keep my business to myself,” he returned.

  “Well, it wasn’t your business. It was Libby’s. Now it’s mine.”

  He was silent for a moment, absorbing that, then grudgingly suggested, “Well, it might be good if you learned not to talk so much when you’re in town. Especially around Willa. She’s got a heart of gold, but she’s a big gossip.”

  “That she is.” Jackie leaned back and folded her arms across her bosom. “She told me all about your wife leaving you and how Brian hasn’t spoken since she did.”

  “I might have known,” he said with a curse under his breath.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  Her impertinence caught him off guard, and he laughed. “Are you serious?”

  “Of course I am. It helps to talk about your problems.”

  “I don’t have any ... not anymore.”

  “Then what about Brian? If his mother abandoning him caused him to lose his ability to speak, I’d say that’s a real big problem. What are you going to do about it?�
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  “That’s my business,” he practically shouted.

  She began to rock to and fro. “You don’t have to get so huffy. I’m only trying to help.”

  “I don’t want him forming any kind of bond with you, Jackie.”

  “And why not?” she challenged, fighting anger as she knew he was also doing. His mouth was firmly set, and there was an angry tremor in his voice. “I should think you’d be glad for him to want to be with a woman after how his mother deserted him.”

  “That’s just it. He might be looking to you for the love he craves from his mother, and when you leave, he’ll go through another upset, and I don’t want that.”

  “And how many times do I have to tell you I’m not leaving?” she cried. “I like it here. It’s taking some getting used to, but I’m a survivor. I’ve been through a lot.”

  “You?” he snickered. “You’re a cream puff. All you’ve ever done is plan menus for old people. You’ve probably never had a stressful moment in your life.”

  She stared at him long and hard, trying to decide whether to let him into her private side, the hidden part that still humiliated her to think about. Finally she knew she could not let him get away with thinking she’d had a life of ease.

  Drawing a deep breath, she let him have it. “For your information, Sam Colton, I’ve been through more stress than I ever dreamed possible. My husband dumped me after I worked day and night to put him through medical school, then got a quickie divorce in Mexico so he could marry the daughter of the surgeon whose very lucrative practice he’s joining.” Her smile was tart. “He also had to hurry up, because she was four months pregnant.

  “All of that,” she said after pausing to catch her breath, “led me here. Libby leaving me this land, this cabin, was a godsend, because I needed a 180-degree change in my life to help me get over being kicked in the teeth. So don’t think I won’t survive here, because I assure you I will.”

  “That’s quite a story,” he said quietly, politely. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “Neither did I,” she said flippantly, “till he started sleeping on the sofa and staying out all night when he wasn’t working at the hospital. Something told me it wasn’t my snoring.”

  “You snore, do you?”

  Their eyes met, held, and they burst into laughter.

  “It’s not funny,” she said.

  “I know,” he said gently. “I was just trying to cheer you up. I guess I was out of line.”

  “Nobody trying to cheer somebody up is ever out of line in my opinion.” She patted his shoulder in a gesture meant to lighten the moment but immediately drew back her hand. Touching him had ignited a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she was afraid he might notice.

  “I suppose not,” he said. “Besides, nobody knows better than me how it feels when someone betrays you. It can really knock you for a loop.”

  “But life goes on, Sam. Things change. People change. Eventually wounds heal. Sometimes there are scars. But we have to forget about them or we can’t go on. I certainly don’t intend to be so bitter over Kevin that all I do is brood about what happened.”

  He surprised her by asking, “Do you think that’s what I’m doing?”

  “In a way, yes,” she said with candor. “I think it’s why you resent me, to tell the truth. You’re bitter toward all women, and that’s not a good thing.”

  He snorted. “Women don’t mean anything to me. I don’t intend to ever get tangled up with one again. It’s my son I’m concerned about—angry about—because of what Donna did to him when she left.”

  “And did that come as a shock?” she gently prodded. Now that he was opening up to her, she wanted him to keep talking. It was the only way they would ever become friends. That was important since they were partners... and she told herself that was all she cared about.

  “Not altogether. The same way you said it was with you, we hadn’t been getting along in quite a while. Still, I didn’t have a clue what she was planning, and...” His voice trailed off.

  Jackie watched as he stared into the distance, as though he could see into the past, wincing as he did so, for the vision was obviously painful.

  Abruptly he said, “Look. I didn’t come here to get off on this. And we shouldn’t have discussed your personal life, either. I just wanted to have it understood that we keep things between us strictly business. And that includes your discouraging Brian to come here, all right?”

  She gave her head a firm shake. “Sorry. I’ve already told you—I won’t run him off.”

  He gave a weary sigh. “Okay, then. I’ll handle it.” He got to his feet.

  Jackie also rose, walking with him to the edge of the porch. “So where will work be going on tomorrow?”

  “At the main sheds. We’ve got some last-minute bundling to do. With only four weeks to Christmas, we’re about finished.”

  “Then what?”

  “We clean up. I pay the help, then get all the paperwork together to send to my accountant for year’s end. After that, I’ll be planting seedlings.”

  “Your accountant...” Jackie said slowly, hesitantly, not wanting him to know how desperate she was becoming for money. “When did he usually send Libby’s check, do you know? I’m just curious.”

  Sam said he had no idea. “I never worried about it. Maybe you should call your lawyer and ask him.”

  “I will next time I’m in town. Meanwhile, could you make some phone calls for me?” She hated to ask but had no choice. “I need to check on my car. I don’t know if they’ve even towed it in or not.”

  “If they didn’t, it’s been stolen,” he said, grining. “Because it’s not there anymore.”

  She clapped her hands in mock delight. “That would be a blessing, only I doubt anyone would want the old klunker.”

  “Sure, I’ll check on it.”

  “And if you could order me some firewood, I’d appreciate that, too. I’m sorry to have to put you to so much trouble, but I can’t get the phone company to put my phone in. They say there’s a wait list for phone lines on these back roads, and nobody has ever asked for them to be run this far back.”

  “That’s right. Nobody ever lived here for any amount of time.” He seemed unable to resist pointing out, “That’s another reason you’ll be ready to move before winter’s over, Jackie. I can’t imagine you staying here without a phone.”

  “I’ll manage,” she said, jutting her chin up ever so slightly. It would take more than not having a telephone to run her off.

  “Anything else?”

  “The name of a good plumber. The kitchen faucet leaks.”

  She could tell he was trying very hard not to smile.

  “Well, you’d better get used to roughing it, because this is only the beginning.” He rolled down his sleeves as he looked up at the sky. “We might be in for some bad weather.”

  “The radio says snow.”

  He pursed his lips, then shook his head. “I don’t think so. It doesn’t smell like snow.”

  “Smell?” she asked in wonder.

  “That’s right...smell. If you stayed here long enough you’d get to know it, too.” He went down the steps and walked to his car.

  Jackie called, “Well, if it does, and I don’t show up for work tomorrow, come look for me in a snowdrift.”

  Soberly, he pointed out, “If it snows, we don’t work, Jackie.”

  He was treating her like a child, and she resented it to the point of grinding her teeth together but was not about to let him know it. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam, with bells on.”

  She went inside and watched through the window as he drove away. She might be looking forward to the next day, but it was obvious Sam was not...just as it was quite apparent that nothing would make him happier than for her to pack up and move out.

  But it wasn’t going to happen, she promised herself, anymore than she was going to allow her heart to keep tripping out every time he was around.

 
; Sam Colton, due to all the bitterness embedded in his soul, was a one-way ticket to heartache.

  And Jackie had had enough of that to last a lifetime.

  In his rearview mirror, Sam watched the mellow glow coming from the cabin windows until he turned onto the main road.

  The woman was trouble with a capital T.

  Maybe she was cute and perky and pleasant to be around. She was still meddlesome, opinionated and, worst of all, a flatlander.

  But, most importantly—and the biggest thorn in his side—she was sitting on land that was not rightfully hers.

  He supposed he should have known it would happen sooner or later, that Libby Pratt would die and pass title to somebody else. But he had assumed the new owner would be content, as Libby had been, to collect his or her share of the profits every year and stay away. After all, unless someone was an avid skier, this part of North Carolina was not a place anyone wanted to be in the dead of winter—as Jackie Lundigan was soon going to find out.

  Already she was running out of firewood. That meant she was not taking the chilly weather very well and keeping the wood stove going full blast.

  She obviously had money problems or she’d have traded her car for a four-wheel-drive vehicle, which was a must.

  She was in for rude awakenings in many ways, and he almost felt sorry for her.

  But not quite.

  After Donna, Sam had no patience with any woman who ventured out of her element... away from all that she was used to. Sure, they had the right to try something different, to make a new life—but not when it wrecked somebody else’s.

  Like his.

  Like Brian’s.

  Sitting on that porch had brought the memory back, and, along with it, the pain that he never failed to experience with he looked at his speechless son.

  Donna had asked him for time and space to decide whether to agree to his proposition that they go to a marriage counselor. So he had moved into the cabin. It had required cleaning and some fixing up, but he hadn’t minded. It kept him from thinking too much about the misery of his marriage.