Hold On 2

by Tabitha Levin

  The words sting and before I realize what I’m doing I spin and the back of my hand slaps across Lili’s cheek. It wasn’t a hard slap, but immediately I recoil and gasp. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

  Lili’s eyes turn dark. “You will be.” She gets up from the couch and throws the magazine onto the floor before storming into Ethan’s bedroom and slamming the door.

  I turn back to Ethan who looks as shocked as I am about what I just did. “I didn’t mean that,” I say.

  He pulls me into his arms and I can feel his heart pounding inside his chest. I know what I did is going to have consequences for both of us. “She’ll be gone in the morning.”

  While I want that to be true, somehow I doubt it.

  Chapter 4

  “You can sleep in my room,” I offer. It’s obvious since Lili is in his room.

  He growls slightly as he pulls me closer and gently nibbles my neck, leading his mouth higher to my earlobe. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  “I’m going to stay at Lauren’s.”

  “Lauren’s?” He pulls away. “No. You should stay here. With me.”

  I want to. I want nothing more than to wrap myself up in Ethan and let him transport me to the heights of ecstasy that only he can provide, forgetting this whole evening. I also know that he needs me right now. He might not admit it, but I know it’s true. But I can’t stay. “Lauren and I had a fight and I need to fix things between us.”

  He pulls away and leans back against the wall. “What was the fight about?”

  “You, actually.” I see no reason to hide things from him. I know there’s still so much he hasn’t told me, but if we are to have any sort of future we need to start trusting each other. I hope he feels the same.

  “Me?” He tips his head to the side as he contemplates what I’ve said.

  “She doesn’t trust you.” I fix my gaze on his face waiting to see what his reaction is. I don’t think he’ll get angry about it, but right now isn’t the best time to be testing that.

  He takes a deep breath and leans closer. “Do you trust me?” It’s a simple question and it should be easy to give a simple answer. I know this is a test and I don’t want to fail. Not when Ethan is concerned.

  “Yes, I trust you.” It’s the only answer I can give.

  ~

  “Well I don’t trust him. Especially now. What if he’s fucking that girl in his bed?” Lauren hugs her knees to her chest as she sits on the couch. I haven’t told her everything yet and I can tell she’s still mad at me, but she has let me inside her apartment and she’s alone, not with her boss. I’m glad about that.

  “He’s not sleeping with her.” I say it weakly. It’s crossed my mind a thousand times since I left the apartment half an hour ago. But I didn’t want to stay while she was there, not after I slapped her. I still feel bad about it and would rather it all just be over. Ethan said she would be gone in the morning. I’ll go home after that.

  “And Danny’s getting married? Fuck me. You had quite the night. I should have gone with you after all, sounds like a blast.” She gets up off the couch and walks into the kitchen pulling out a bag of Cheetos from the cupboard and pouring them into a large bowl. She stuffs a handful of them in her mouth before returning to me on the couch. “What’s his fiancé look like?” Bits of Cheetos spray out of her mouth as she talks.

  “Blonde. Bubbly. Everything I’m not.”

  “And how are you feeling about that?”

  I haven’t had the chance to give it much thought. With everything that has happened with Ethan and Lili, the news that my ex is getting married in a month hasn’t hit home yet. I wonder if that’s because I don’t care anymore, I hope that’s why. “I’m okay with it. He obviously didn’t love me enough, that’s clear now.”

  “He did love you, I know he did.”

  I don’t want to argue with her. If he loved me he wouldn’t have treated me so badly. He also wouldn’t get engaged to someone five seconds after we broke up.

  She grabs another hand full of Cheetos.

  I eye her suspiciously. “Is everything okay?” The last time she stuffed this much junk food into her mouth was when she broke up with her last boyfriend.

  “Michael is fucking someone else.” Well, that explains why she’s alone tonight.

  “Oh no, Lauren I’m sorry. When did you find out?” I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder for support.

  “I caught him. Walked in on him this morning with his dick in the receptionist’s mouth.”

  “This morning? Why didn’t you tell me today at lunch?” Usually she’s the first to impart this type of information.

  She cocks her eyebrow and tips her head to the side. “Did you really need any more crazy today?”

  I smile. “I guess not.”

  She sighs and rolls her eyes. “It’s not a big deal; it’s just that I would have liked to have known that I’m not the only one.” She breathes out heavily. “It’s not like I was in love with him or anything.”

  I nod sympathetically. I’ve only ever seen Lauren in love once and it would take someone very special for her to fall so hard again. I should have known something was up today when she wanted to act busy instead of sitting down at our regular cafe.

  “That’s why I don’t trust Ethan. I know you like him, but you see the good in everyone. Most people want to fuck you over if it benefits them. I’m just worried about you.”

  I frown. I know she’s got my best interests at heart, but it still annoys me that she won’t give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s never given me any reason not to trust him. I saw in his eyes that he wasn’t attracted to Lili and I believed him when he told me he wasn’t sleeping with her. Besides, I don’t think that believing the best about people is a flaw, I consider it my best asset. I want to say these things to her, I want her to see my side and understand that Ethan is more than just words in a newspaper article but I bite my tongue instead. The last thing I need today is to have another fight with Lauren.

  As much as I love her, she can believe whatever she wants about Ethan Collier, I don’t have to agree with it.

  I close my eyes and think about him. I can still taste him on my lips and tomorrow, once Lili is gone, we can continue where we left off and move forward.

  Chapter 5

  I unlock the door to my apartment warily. It’s still early and I don’t know whether Lili will be gone yet or not. There isn’t anyone in the living room and my bedroom door is closed. I lean back against the door and take a deep breath to give myself the confidence to check Ethan’s room first.

  I don’t consider it snooping. It is my apartment after all and the door is open. I’m just popping my head inside to check everything is okay. That’s what I tell myself anyway.

  My heart is beating fast as I look through the doorway. The bed is neatly made and there is no sign of Lili. I hope that that means she’s gone. For good.

  I walk quietly over to my bedroom door and place my hand on the door. I can’t hear anything inside. I turn the handle and open it a crack. Ethan is still asleep and thankfully alone. I watch his muscular chest rise and fall peacefully for a few moments, taking him in, before opening the door further and going inside.

  He stirs as I sit down on the bed.

  “Good morning,” I say cheerfully.

  “Yep,” he grunts before rolling over. “What time is it?”

  “Um, seven I think.” I want to ask about Lili, whether she’s gone or not, and whether anything else happened last night, but I don’t. If I’m to trust him, to trust us, I need to let him tell me in his own time. “Don’t you have work?”

  “Fuck work.” He turns over and looks up at me through sleepy hooded eyes. “Actually I know something more I want to fuck. Come here.”

  He reaches out and pulls me effortlessly until I’m on top of him. I can feel his hardness through the bed sheet and can tell he’s not wearing anything. I don’t know whether to be annoyed or turned on that he decided
to sleep naked in my bed without me.

  “Ethan, I have to get ready for work, too.” My protests are weak as the desire builds in my body. He pulls me down to his lips and brushes his mouth over mine. I don’t stop him, I want this, I want him. I wonder if he knows how much my body craves his touch and I go weak with desire around him. I decide I can be late and I begin to undress.

  When I’m naked he groans appreciatively as his gaze travels over my body. My sex clenches in anticipation as he reaches down and circles his hand around it. I’m already wet. I became wet when he first kissed me. That’s how much power he has over me.

  A smile curls on his lip once he reaches my folds and finds out how turned on I already am. He growls again and gently lays me back on the bed before spreading my legs and leaning down to suck on my swollen clit. I almost come immediately from his eagerness. He licks long slow strokes up my folds as if he’s drinking me in and I moan breathlessly. God, I want him to take me right now.

  “Tell me when you’re about to come. I like riding you when you shudder.”

  It won’t be long before that happens if he continues to do what he’s doing. Damn he’s good. “I’m close,” I say breathlessly.

  I arch my back and reach down to keep myself aroused as he moves to my bedside drawer and pulls out a condom, opening the packet then rolling it down over his gorgeous member. I move up so I can rest my head on a pillow while he fucks me, but he has other ideas.

  He holds me around the waist and maneuvers me so that he can lie down underneath me and I’m on top of him, straddling him.

  He lets go of my hips and lays his hands to each side of his gorgeous body. “Use my cock, Sarah. Slide yourself up and down it. Get yourself off.”

  His cock is hard and I wrap my hand around it and massage it a few times before positioning my sex over him and lowering myself down onto him. He groans and rolls his head back as I begin to move up and down. I can control how deep and fast this way.

  I push down until he’s as deep inside me as I can possible manage. My clit rubs against his pubic bone and I grind my hips to increase the friction.

  “Fuck, Sarah. Your body is made for my cock.” He groans again and grabs hold of my hips trying to steady me as I move slowly up and down.

  I’m beginning to think he might be right. He fits into me so effortlessly, so deliciously.

  My orgasm is bubbling up again but I don’t want this to end so soon. I close my eyes and move slower than before, taking my time to feel every inch of him inside my body.

  “I need to ride you fast. I need to fuck you hard.”

  I gasp as he grabs my hips and begins slamming me down onto his cock. It embeds deep inside me each time he pulls me down. I can’t control myself this way and put my hands on his chest to try and slow him down, but it’s no use. He’s too strong.

  The way he’s using my body for his pleasure only makes me more turned on. I never thought I’d admit it, but I like it when he takes control. “Oh god, Ethan. You feel amazing.” He does.

  This spurs him on to move faster and soon I can’t tell whether I’m moaning or breathing hard from the noises I’m making, nor do I care. I’m lost again to him.

  “Come Sarah,” he growls. “Come on my cock.”

  I reach down and circle my clit with my hand as he continues to move my hips onto him. Just the slightest touch is enough to send me over the edge and within seconds, I’m crying out his name as my sex spasms around him.

  “Shit you feel good when you come.” He slams me down onto his cock another three times before he strains forward and I can feel him filling the condom inside me with his pleasure.

  I fall forward onto his chest exhausted. He’s still inside me but I can feel him slipping out as he loses his erection.

  There is a slow clap behind us. I turn quickly to see Lili in the doorway that I’d left open. She’s standing there, watching us. I don’t know how long she’s been there.

  “That was quite a show,” she says smirking. “You’re a firecracker in bed, no wonder he likes fucking you.”

  I grab the sheet in an attempt to cover myself just as Ethan slips out from below me and walks toward the door. He’s still naked, the condom hanging precariously off his dick as he walks toward her.

  “Fuck off, Lili.” He leans against the doorframe and holds the door handle waiting for her to move so he can shut the door.

  She looks down at his dick, smiles, and then looks back up at him. “I told you. I’m not going anywhere unless you do what I ask.”

  She’s not going to leave? All the pent up frustrations of having her here bursts out of me. “Get out. Get out of my room!” I scream. I can’t stand it any longer, I just want her gone.

  She’s amused at my outburst. We both know that I’m no threat to her, not physically anyway, and she’s making sure I’m aware of it. “Talk to him. Make him do what I’ve asked and this will all go away.” She doesn’t look at me, her gaze is still fixed on Ethan. She waves her hand in the air, takes another look at his dick and then walks out. I hear the door to Ethan’s room open and close.

  Shit.

  Ethan closes the door behind her and turns back to me.

  “What does she want you to do?” I ask. “What the hell is this all about?” I’m on the verge of tears. “I just want her gone.”

  He shakes his head as he walks back to the bed, removes the condom and throws it into the bin. “She wants me to steal ten grand.”

  Chapter 6

  “She wants you to what?” I let the sheet slip down as I climb onto his lap desperate for more information.

  “Sarah, forget I told you. I’m not doing it.” His words are heavy and I can tell this request has placed a burden on him that he doesn’t want or need.

  “Then tell her no. Demand she get out of our place right this instant.”

  He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I already have. Didn’t do any good.” He pushes me away and stands up, walking toward my bathroom. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about this now, I’ve got to get to work.”

  I’m incredulous. How can he think about going to work and acting like everything is normal after what he just told me? “Maybe we can go to the police? They could get her to leave, or at least tell us what we should do.”

  He turns briefly and I can tell that’s not an option for him. “I’ll see you tonight, we can talk more when you’ve calmed down.”

  Calmed down? Someone he used to know from his past is back and he just told me that she wants him to steal ten thousand dollars. How am I supposed to calm down?

  I test the door to the bathroom but he’s locked it behind him. I’ll either have to wait until he’s finished or use the main bathroom if I want a shower. I don’t want to walk out into the living room in case I see her. I don’t want to see her ever again, so I wait in bed, my knees tucked to my chest.

  When he emerges, he’s wearing only a towel, his skin is still wet from the shower and his hair is pushed back. He looks so hot. If I wasn’t so frazzled right now, I’d probably want him all over again, but I don’t. Not at this moment.

  He walks over to me and kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll find another way to get rid of her, I promise.” He lifts my chin and kisses me on the lips. “I’m not fucking up what we have because of some stupid promise I made to her father. I’ll work it out.” He walks out of my room and heads toward his bedroom.

  The anger I feel right now toward her has been replaced by self-doubt and jealousy, as I know she’ll be watching him get dressed. My whole morning has turned into a crash of conflicting emotions and fears.

  Maybe Lauren was right. Maybe I’m not cut out for a life with someone like Ethan. I’m beginning to believe that he is too hardcore for me after all. Especially now that his past has smashed firmly into his present and into my apartment, in the form of a very attractive and manipulative woman who is sleeping in his bed.

  ~

  “What can you find out about her?” I’m sitti
ng across from Lauren as she scans a website on her phone. I’ve told her as much about Lili as I know, which admittedly isn’t much, in the hopes that she can find out something I can use to give me an advantage again.

  Lauren looks up and cocks her eyebrow. “You don’t even know her last name.”

  “But how many daughters of motorcycle leaders named Lili can there be?” I know I sound crazy, I probably am, but I need to know something more about her, something I can use to get rid of her from my life.

  She puts down her phone and looks at me with concern on her face. I know she wants to tell me that she was right not to get involved with Ethan, but I also know she won’t say it now. Not when it’s obvious that I’m in too far and too deep with him.

  “Tell me again why he won’t just tell her to leave?”

  “He has told her, she won’t go.” It sounds weak. There’s more to this than I can see, I know that. The promise he made to her father is pulling at him making it impossible to be strong. I wonder if that’s all it is.

  “You’re making excuses for him. He could tell her to leave if he really wanted her gone.”

  I know she’s right. It’s the one thing I’m struggling most with. He’s letting her stay when he knows it’s destroying me. He’s allowing her to sleep in his bed. He’s permitting her to see him walk around naked.

  “What should I do?” I both need her advice and don’t want it. Whatever she says is going to make the most sense in the world, yet my heart will reject it, I know this before she even opens her mouth. But I need to be strong and think about this logically.

  “You want her gone, then make her go. Don’t rely on him to do it for you; don’t rely on anyone to do anything for you.” She tips her head to one side and smiles, and I’m not sure if she’s only talking about me anymore.

  “Make her go.” I repeat the words and let them roll around my mouth as I contemplate them. Make her go. Lauren is right; I need to get rid of her if I want her gone. I can’t pretend that she’ll go away on her own, I have to make it happen. It’s my apartment and I have the right to choose who is there and who isn’t.