Taking Chances

by Flowers, Loni

  Clair was dazed; how could her own mother do that to her? “But it was my birthday. He sent me presents. He really did love me. After all this time…” Tears gushed down her face. A gasp filled her lungs with air as she tried to hold back a sob. “How could you?” she yelled. “He was my father. You had no right!”

  “Marie, please, calm down. Let’s talk about this.”

  “Calm down? You expect me to talk about this? There is no reason you can give that would make me feel the slightest bit sorry for you. You’ve destroyed my life! When Dad left, you made damn sure that if you weren’t happy, I couldn’t be either. Now I’ll never see my father again.”

  “No, Marie. Please don’t…”

  “I hate you,” she seethed.

  “I know you’re upset, but I’m your mother, I’ll always…”

  “You are not my mother! You haven’t been a mother to me in years. I hate you and I will never speak to you again,” Clair screamed.

  She threw her phone across the room, hitting the wall, before falling to the floor and breaking into pieces. Going down on her knees, she bent over and sobbed, covering her face with her hands. Nausea crawled up her throat and she grabbed the small wastebasket next to the couch to vomit in. She heaved over and over until nothing was left in her stomach. Once it passed, Clair walked to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth out over the sink. Her eyes were puffy and red in the mirror, and she wondered how her mother could have gotten away with lying to her for the past nine years? Why didn’t she question things sooner?

  If she couldn’t talk to her father right now, she wanted to at least see him. She went to her room, pulled out a small box from the bottom of her closet, and sat in the middle of her bed, studying the pictures from it. Her mother burned most of his pictures after the divorce but she was able to save some for herself. Seeing the image of her dad made her weep again. Clair had a feeling she would never see him now. Flipping through the pictures, she found one of her dad holding her on the day she was born, and another picture of the two of them at her fifth birthday party. There were others of her at the zoo, playing in the swimming pool in their backyard, and building sand castles in her sandbox.

  Clair smiled at a funny picture of them sitting at a small table, having a tea party with her favorite dolls. The last picture in the bottom of the box was the only one that included her mother. It was their last family vacation together when she was thirteen. Seeing her mother’s face, Clair fought the urge to cut her out. She spread the pictures out on the bed, surrounding herself with all the special moments of her childhood. Lying on her pillow, exhausted, she replayed the conversation with her mother in her head and started to cry all over again. She wondered how long it would take before she ran out of tears, how long for her mother’s betrayal to stop hurting. All she wanted right then was Alex. He would soothe her, make her feel better. She felt bad that she couldn’t even call to tell them she wouldn’t be meeting them for lunch. Her phone was smashed to pieces on the floor. Maybe, he would come over later and she could apologize for skipping out on him. He’d understand.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Alex

  Alex and Stu hadn’t been waiting long at San Juan’s Mexican restaurant before Roz showed up. Alex was curious why Clair wasn’t with her, but he patiently waited until Roz and Stu got their hugging and kissing over with, since they’d been apart for two weeks. After she finished with Stu, she walked up to him, giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

  “I’ve only been gone a week, remember? It’s Stu whom you haven’t seen for two weeks,” he teased as he sat back down. He thought about how caring of a person Roz was, and that anyone would swear she was Alex’s mother from way she fussed over him sometimes.

  When Roz took her seat next to Stu, she pointed her finger at Alex and scrunched up her face. “I can’t believe you. You came back last week but didn’t come see me. You stayed closed up in that apartment of yours with Clair the entire time.” Roz winked, “But I will say this, I’ve never seen that girl so happy. It’s like she was rejuvenated after you came.”

  You have no idea! Alex thought to himself, stifling a laugh at just how right she was.

  “Speaking of Clair, where is she?” Stu said. “I was looking forward to meeting this mystery girl of yours, Alex.”

  “I don’t know,” Alex said. “I thought she was riding with Roz.”

  “Oh, she was but I had some errands to run early this morning. I know Clair wasn’t feeling well last night, so I didn’t want to bother her this morning. I left her a message to meet us here, so she should be here anytime.” Roz turned around and eyed the entrance of the door as if looking might make her appear.

  Alex pulled out his phone and tried to call her but it didn’t ring; instead, it went straight to voicemail. When the waiter came to take their orders, everyone decided to wait on Clair and just ordered drinks. After about fifteen minutes of waiting with Clair still not showing, Alex decided to call again. But all he could get was her voicemail.

  “Something isn’t right. She would call or text me if she were going to be late,” Alex said, staring absently out the window, visibly worried.

  “Why don’t you go to the house and see if she’s there? I’ll just ride home with Roz. We can have lunch another time,” Stu suggested.

  “I was planning on coming over anyway. Alex. You’ll call me when you find out what’s going on, won’t you?” asked Roz.

  Alex stood up, “Of course I will. It’s probably nothing, she probably overslept or something.” Alex looked over at Stu, “I’ll see you at the cookout tomorrow. Good luck… you know, with getting everything set up.” Alex smiled when Stu’s face turned serious.

  “Oh, don’t you worry about that,” Roz said, “I’m going to help him clean up and get everything ready.”

  “Okay you two, see you later.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket and headed for Clair’s house.

  He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her car in the driveway and thought maybe she overslept or lost track of time. When he approached her door, he knocked and waited, but she didn’t answer. He knocked harder, and still, she didn’t come to the door. He tried turning the knob and it opened. As he walked into the living room, he heard something crunch beneath his foot. When he looked down, he saw pieces of glass and plastic scattered across the floor. He yelled her name, but she didn’t answer. Half scared of what he might find, he moved through the house toward her bedroom. As he stepped into her doorway, relief washed over him to see her sitting on the bed.

  “There you are,” he said, releasing the breath he’d been holding. “What you are doing?” he asked as he walked into her room.

  Clair didn’t look at him. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. Her chin rested on the top of her knees and she stared down at the pictures across her bed. From what he could tell, her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks, tear-stained, and her hair was a mess. She looked like she was in another world, spaced out, as if she could see nothing but the pictures before her. Alex squatted down beside the bed and called her name again. He didn’t want to touch her, afraid he might scare her. When she looked up, he reached for her chin, and brushed his thumb across her cheek. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked. “What happened?”

  She looked from Alex to her pictures on the bed, her bottom lip trembling. Clair waved her hands around, pointing to the pictures in front of her, “Everything. Everything my mother told me has been nothing but a lie, and now this is all I have of him.”

  Alex sat beside Clair on the bed and pulled her into his embrace. Her body crumpled in his arms, and she pressed her face to his neck, crying hard against him. He rubbed her back, trying his best to comfort her as he looked down at the pictures that surrounded them. Alex closed his eyes in disbelief. The image of Stu was in every picture. Though Stu was younger in her pictures, he aged slowly and looked nearly the same. Now, though, he had a little less hair and wasn’t as thin as he used t
o be. Alex knew he had to tell her. Omitting the truth, especially when it was obvious, would be outright lying, and he couldn’t do that to Clair. He knew, with one simple phone call, Stu could come over and see for himself. There was no doubt in his mind now; Stu was Clair’s father.

  Alex leaned over and picked up the same picture he remembered Stu holding the night before. After she had calmed down some, he asked, “Clair? This is your father?”

  “Yes, his name was Stewart,” she said, “And my mother. It’s the only picture I have left of us as a family.”

  He pushed her back so he could look into her eyes. He wanted Clair to see his eyes, to know how serious and determined he was when he told her what he knew. “I know him.”

  “What?” she asked, pulling away from him, confused. “How?” “

  “I didn’t know he was your father until yesterday, and I wasn’t even sure I was right. Not until I saw these pictures.”

  “What do you mean? That’s not possible.”

  “It is possible.” Alex held up the picture of all of them on the beach, “He showed me this picture because he was thinking about your birthday yesterday and how much he missed you. This was your last family picture together, wasn’t it?”

  Clair stared at him, shocked at what he was telling her. “Yes,” she whispered.

  “You were thirteen years old, right… Marie?”

  She slapped her hand over her mouth gasping. “How did you know my first name? I’ve never told anyone here that name?”

  “That’s how he referred to you. I didn’t recognize you in the picture, not until I saw your mother. She’s beautiful and you look just like her now.” Alex swept the hair to the side and tucked the strands behind her ear. “He’s never stopped thinking about you. He told me he’s sent you letters and presents, but never heard from you or your mother. When you turned eighteen, he gave up and stopped sending you stuff. Now, he’s about to get engaged and wants you to be there to meet his wife. He thinks you’ll love her. But you already love her. I wasn’t one hundred percent certain at first, but you are his Marie.”

  Clair shook her head in disbelief. “How can you be so sure? Who is this woman and how do I know her? And how in the world do you know my father?” Clair quoted with her fingers in the air. “You were in Pittsburgh this whole time.” She scooted closer to Alex and reached for his hand. “Tell me, Alex.”

  “Your father, Stewart, is my boss, Stu. His soon to-be fiancée is Roz. I thought my uncertainty would be confirmed at lunch today. But you didn’t show up. Now, seeing your pictures, I know for sure. Stu’s your father.”

  She looked at him with a dumbfounded expression and then suddenly started laughing hysterically. Her laughter turned to tears when she looked at Alex. “I’ve been here how long? Months? All this time and he’s been here all along, right under my nose. It can’t be, Alex, it just can’t. I want to believe you, I really do, but it’s just too easy, too coincidental to be true. I mean, what are the freaking odds that my boyfriend works for my father and is about to marry the one person who helped me get my life back?” Clair shook her head, picking up the pictures on her bed. “It’s okay, I appreciate your concern and you wanting to help me find him, I just can’t believe it’s true. After everything… I can’t get my hopes up.”

  “No,” Alex said in a firm voice. Clair stopped what she was doing. “I know I’m right about this Clair. I’ll prove it to you.” Alex pulled out his cell phone and dialed Stu’s number. When he answered, Alex told him he wanted Roz and him to come over to Clair’s right away. When Stu asked what was wrong, Alex only told him that it was very important and they needed to come now.

  Clair sighed, “We don’t have to do this now. It’s a mistake and we will have interrupted their night for no reason and disappoint Stu when he finds out it’s a mix-up.”

  Alex smiled and pulled her to him. He tipped her chin up and lightly kissed her on the lips. “Yes, we have to do this now. You’ve gone long enough without seeing your father and I know I’m right about this. Please trust me.”

  While they waited for Stu and Roz to arrive, they laid across her bed in silence. Alex held her tightly against him. Her body was trembling, ridged with tension and she buried her face deep against his neck, pushing herself as close as she could get. She was like a child, scared, needing the embrace from someone who loved her. He pushed her hair to the side, and stroked her neck with the tips of his fingers, trying to calm her nerves. Caressing her skin seemed to soothe his own anxiety.

  “Do you know how much I’ve missed you?” he murmured in her ear, breathing in the intoxicating smell of lavender that radiated from her skin. He kissed her tenderly on the neck.

  “Yes,” she answered, pulling her head back to look at him. “I can tell by the way you look at me and how you’re holding me now. I’ve missed you as much.” Clair reached up and brushed the hair from his eyes, her hand sliding down to cup his cheek. “Thank you for doing this, even if I’m not convinced about it… thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I love you. I’ll do anything for you.” He kissed her mouth gently, as if she were too fragile for him kiss her like he really wanted. They both jumped away from each other when they heard a knock at the door.

  “You might want to put some pants on unless you want to meet your dad wearing your pajamas,” Alex said. “I’m going to go out and explain this to Stu since he has no idea. Then I’ll come in and get you, okay?”

  Clair stood up and nodded before going to her dresser.

  Alex opened the door to see Roz and Stu standing there. Roz looked worried as usual because she always thought the worst. Stu looked pissed.

  “There better be a damn good reason why you interrupted my reunion, if you know what I mean,” Stu said, glaring at Alex.

  Roz hit him on the arm, “Shut it, Stu! What’s wrong Alex? Where’s Clair? Is she okay?”

  Alex came out in the garage and closed the door behind him. He paused as he looked from Roz to Stu, suddenly afraid that he could be wrong and the possible effect it could have on them all. “I had a hunch last night, but I didn’t know for sure—”

  “What? Spit it out already,” Roz said impatiently.

  He looked at Stu and the words flew out of his mouth. “It’s Clair; she’s Marie—your daughter.”

  Stu stared at him. He stepped closer, getting only inches away from his face. He drilled his eyes into Alex, and for a moment, he thought Stu might hit him. “That’s a pretty big assumption. You better not be fucking around with me, Alex.”

  Alex stepped back, holding his hands up, “No sir, I’m not. I only thought it was possible last night, but knew if it were true, you’d notice each other today at lunch. Apparently, she had talked with her mother before lunch today, trying to get information on where she could find her father… I mean you, but her mother didn’t know where you were anymore. She told Clair that she purposefully kept all communication from you away from her. Clair thought up until now, that you never wanted her, but now she knows it was all a lie. She was too upset to come to lunch. When I came over, Clair had her old pictures out and you’re in every one of them.” Alex looked over at Roz. Her hand was over her mouth; her eyes were glassy, as if she would cry.

  “Are you sure about this?” Roz asked.

  Alex turned around and opened the door, “Yes, I am.”

  “How can this be?” Stu asked, his eyes wide with shock. “Of all the places she could be and she’s here? I’m sure you mean well, Alex, but there must be a mistake. It does sound like Michelle would be that hateful, to me, yes, but not Marie. I just don’t know.”

  “Fine. Come inside and see for yourself. It’s about time you met Clair anyway, right?” Alex walked into the living room and turned to them, “Stay here and I’ll go get her.”

  He walked into Clair’s bedroom and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed with her hands in her lap. She was nervously playing with her fingers and Alex knelt down in front of her, putting his han
d over hers to still them. “He’s waiting in the living room. Are you ready?” She nodded, grasped his hands, and stood up.

  “No wait, I can’t,” she said as she pulled her hands out of his. Clair covered her face with her hands and sat back down. She wiped the tears away and her hands were shaking uncontrollably. “What if it’s not him? I’ll look like an idiot.”

  “No, you won’t, I will. Don’t worry about any of that. It’s him Clair, it really is.”

  “But what if he doesn’t like me?” she whispered.

  He pulled her hands away from her face. Brushing away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs, Alex cupped his hands around her face and kissed her forehead, “You’re his daughter, Clair. He loves you… he always has.”

  Clair nodded slightly and stood up again. She held her hand out to him. “Will you stay with me?”

  Alex laced his fingers between hers, “I’ll be right here.” He walked toward the door but stopped just before the doorway. “Before I forget, please don’t mention to Roz about the engagement. She doesn’t know yet. It’s a surprise that is supposed to happen tomorrow at the cookout. Stu threatened my manhood if the secret got out.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh, of course! I wouldn’t want that to happen.” She sighed heavily and squeezed his hand, “C’mon, let’s do this.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Clair

  Standing in the archway of her bedroom door, Clair gripped Alex’s hand to keep hers from shaking. Her nerves overwhelmed her, turning her stomach sour as she thought about what she might say to her father after all this time. The list of questions she had for him would have filled a notebook, but those questions seemed meaningless now. Clair knew her dad screwed up with her mother; she’d always known that. But it was her mother that made her life fatherless for the last nine years. She was the liar. Now, as she listened to Roz scolding Stu for pacing the floor, insisting that he sit down, all Clair could think of was, what now? Where do I go from here? But when Alex pulled her by the hand, she knew there was only one place to go… forward.