“Here, have a cupcake.” She almost shoved one in my mouth, putting an end to my complaining. She took the other one and bit a big chunk out of it. A small moan escaped her lips, causing me to inhale the cupcake instead of swallowing it. I sputtered and coughed the crumbs that went down the wrong pipe. Her closed eyelids and that sweet little sound of enjoyment made me lose my train of thought.
“You okay?” Jane tapped my back, unaware of the effect she had on me.
“Fine,” I gasped.
“Take it easy on the treasure there. That stuff isn’t for the faint-hearted.” Her eyes twinkled, but her words sunk deeper. I better be careful with her.
“Apart from almost killing you, did you like it?” she asked.
“It was good.”
“Just good? Mine was divine. Here, have a taste.” She held out her cupcake, and my hand folded around hers. My gaze dipped down to the sweet in her hand and moved up to her face. She urged me on by moving it closer to my mouth.
“Mhmm, that is good.” Her fingers brushed my lips as I tasted her offered treat.
“Now it’s only fair you let me taste your caramel one.” She leaned in and indicated for me to offer a taste of mine. Her teeth bit into it, and her lips closed around her bite as her eyelids shut in pleasure.
“Mhmm.” She pulled away slightly, and I noticed a small trace of frosting on her upper lip.
“Here.” I held her face with my free hand and rubbed the smudge away. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t pull back.
“All gone,” I whispered.
“We better get back,” she replied, her voice thick.
“Sure, let’s go.” She turned to where Sarah, Tom, and the girls were seated. I followed in step with her. There was no doubt that I was attracted to her, but attraction wasn’t nearly enough. I learned that lesson the hard way with Ainsley. I wasn’t willing to make that mistake again, especially with Jane. I needed to know for sure that there was more than the way my body responded to her every time she was near.
Fifteen Years Earlier
September Song – J.B. Cooper
JANE
My shift at the diner was almost up. I couldn’t wait. Summer was great, but waiting tables for eight hours took away some of the holiday appeal.
“Can you take this order out? You can head on out after. It looks like someone’s waiting for you.” Miss Mabel gave me a knowing wink.
I tried to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks. This past month, Jackson came to pick me up and hang out after my shift almost every night. Still, Miss Mabel’s comment made me blush. I couldn’t figure out why he would want to spend his free time with me, but you wouldn’t hear me complaining.
“Enjoy your burgers.” I smiled at the cute, young couple as I placed their order in front of them. They looked great together, and my stomach twisted with a pang of jealousy, wishing it were Jackson and me huddled close like that.
I turned to the counter. The object of my obsession stood leaning against it, staring at me. The blush from earlier made another appearance. My lips curled up in a smile. I forced my feet to take slow, precise steps toward him, hiding how much those baby blues affected me.
“Hey there.” His smile brightened the whole diner as he dragged his fingers through his dark hair. It was longer than usual, curling slightly around his ears, but I loved it. My gaze followed his fingers, and I imagined what it would feel like to brush my fingers through it. I gulped and mentally slapped myself. Focus, Jane!
“Hey, yourself. I didn’t realize we had plans.” At least, none I could think of. His presence alone made me forget my name.
“We don’t.” He grinned again. That was so freaking distracting. How was I supposed to pay attention to what he was saying? “I thought we could grab a pizza at Marco’s and hang out. You game?”
Was I game? Of course I was game!
“Sure, sounds great. Let me go get cleaned up. I’ll be out in a sec.” After the first time Jackson showed up here unexpectedly, I had the sense to start packing a clean shirt, deodorant, and my makeup in my bag—just in case. I’ve been grateful for that foresight many times.
Ten minutes later, I walked through the hall leading out to the diner, feeling much better about my appearance.
“You look nice. Going on a date?” Miss Mabel didn’t miss a thing.
“It isn’t a date.” I needed to point this out to her every single time. She was relentless in her matchmaking efforts. Also, I didn’t want her to slip up and tell my parents I went out with Jackson on a date. That might put an end to these friendly hangouts, as I referred to them when Mom asked.
“Well, have fun.” She waited to see me off.
“I will.” I dashed through the door before more questions started. No need explaining why we were going to Marco’s for pizza and not staying here for burgers. We tried that once. Yeah, we wouldn’t be doing that again after Miss Mabel’s well-meant but very inappropriate meddling.
“You look nice.” Jackson’s gaze swept over me, and the approval made me tingle.
“Thanks. So, pizza. Marco’s. Lead the way.”
“I thought we could walk. It’s really nice out tonight.” He was right. The weather was warm, nearing 70 degrees. Not bad for the lower Hudson Valley in July.
Jackson took my hand. It shouldn’t surprise me anymore. He’d done this before over the summer, whenever we were alone. Still, his touch affected me, leaving my tummy in a flurry of butterflies.
“We meeting anyone there?” I asked the first thing that popped into my mind, trying to calm the storm going on in my belly.
“Sarah and Tom are out. Just you and me.” His smile set my skin ablaze. I turned to stare at the blue sky, anything to distract myself.
At Marco’s, we were seated and handed a menu. Not that we needed one. We always had the same thing—a large pepperoni pizza with a Dr Pepper for Jackson, and a Coke for me.
We both smiled as the waiter left, and the smile turned into a laugh as we set the menus aside.
“Same as usual, it is.” Jackson took my menu and put the two together.
“We’re so predictable,” I teased.
“Predictable isn’t the word I would use for you.” Jackson awarded me with another one of his winning smiles, and I felt my insides melt to mush. The power this guy had over me was frightening. He would end up breaking my heart, and he didn’t even know he was holding it in his hands.
JACKSON
Jane gazed up at me with an unreadable look. Like she was challenging me. But to what?
Honestly, summer so far was pure torture. With school out, there was a lot of time to hang around with her. At first I “accidently” managed to be at the diner at about the time she finished her shift. Then I would take a book of Sarah’s over to her at work and hang out with her for a while. Eventually we’d ended up spending time together almost every day. And I’d nearly told her exactly what I felt more times than I could count. Something kept pulling me back. Yeah, her dad. That was probably the biggest thing holding me back. Sitting here with her, I wanted to tell Mr. Pierce to go to hell.
“This is soooo good.” Jane took a hearty bite of her slice. As she chewed, I noticed a little sauce smeared on her lip. I wondered what it would taste like to lick it off of her lips. I mentally shook myself. When her tongue popped out of her mouth and did that very thing, I gulped down some of my cold soda to clear my head.
“You done?” I downed the last of my drink as I waited for Jane to indicate she was.
“It’s my turn to pick up the check,” Jane protested as I paid the bill and got up to leave.
“I thought by now you’d have figured out a gentleman never lets the lady pay.” I turned up the charm, opening the door for her to exit the restaurant.
“That would make it a date. And we both know this isn’t a date.” We went through this conversation every time I spent any money on her. Didn’t matter if it was a buck to get a Coke from the vending machine, or a pizza. She felt the ne
ed to point out it wasn’t a date.
Normally I would reply with a lame answer that I would never let a girl pay regardless of her being my date or not. Tonight, I was feeling braver than usual.
“Why, Jane,” I grabbed her hand and pinned her against one of the cars in the lot. “Do you want it to be a date?”
This was probably the boldest move I ever pulled. I didn’t back down and stared at her, putting force behind the words I just delivered.
Jane stared up at me, confusion written all over her. She bit her bottom lip, distracting me. How I wouldn’t love to throw caution to the wind.
“Jackson Wright!” Jane smacked me on the arm and broke the intense moment. “Stop it! Just because your lines work on all the other girls doesn’t mean you can use them on me. You hear?”
She smacked me again, but her lips were fighting a grin. I was thrown off by those pursed lips and how they would feel pressed up against mine.
“Stop grinning like that.” She sounded flustered.
She huffed again and started walking off. Instinctively my hand reached out for hers to stop her from walking away.
“Wait up. You know I didn’t mean anything.”
I couldn’t be sure, but I swore I saw her face cloud over. She was quick to hide it, but I saw it. How I wished I could just forget about that stupid rule.
“Hey.” I halted her completely and turned her to me. “You know I’m an idiot sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” There was the Jane I knew.
“Okay, most of the time. I’m sorry, okay? Forgiven?”
“Forgiven.” She offered a weak smile, and before I said something else I might have to apologize for later, I crushed her to me and offered all the words I couldn’t say through the strongest hug I could give. If only she could sense my true feeling for her in this embrace. If only she were sixteen. If only there weren’t so many if only’s.
Present Day
Count on Me - Bruno Mars
JANE
Birthday breakfasts were a big thing when I lived with my parents. After David died, they decided we needed to reinstate the tradition. At first I didn’t want to, but knowing it would force me to get out of the funk I always felt on days like these, I gave into it.
Today was Emma’s sixth, and we were at Miss Mabel’s.
“Jane, what do you think?” My attention was drawn back to the conversation, my mom waiting for me to answer. I had no idea what she’d just asked me, because I was too distracted checking Jackson out as he walked into the diner. Luckily, Emma and my dad hadn’t noticed, but my mother was sporting a grin. There was no hiding anything from that woman.
For the last week, my thoughts were a mess thinking about that man. Sarah’s pushy words kept me up at night, running on a loop. How could I have been so blinded by my own fears that I didn’t notice his pain?
Every time he was near, he distracted me. I kept thinking and overthinking every single thing. I felt like a silly teenager again.
I couldn’t remember what Mom was talking about, because I was staring at Jackson’s dark hair and the way his suit fit just right. His broad shoulders and slim waist with that dark, almost wavy hair made me momentarily forget I was supposed to be listening to the wardrobe choices for Emma’s party.
“Right. Party dresses. Emma, which dress would you like to wear?” I patted myself on the back for remembering the question myself. Mom wasn’t fooled, and her smile broadened. I swore that woman had super intuitive powers.
“I don’t know, Mom. I like them both.” Emma answered, oblivious to the silent conversation going on between my mother and me.
“Hello there, Jane, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce. How are you doing?” Jackson walked up to our table, and my mother’s grin turned into a warm smile. She had always loved Jackson.
“Hi there, Jackson. What a lovely surprise. Please, Ava and Robert, none of that Mr. and Mrs. business. It sure has been a long time. I heard you moved back and are running your own business right here in Bellebrook,” Dad said.
He stood to shake Jackson’s outstretched hand and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
“I sure am. Been home for a while now. It’s good to be back.” His gaze met mine, and that familiar blush made an appearance. “Hi, Emma, how are you doing today? Are you enjoying the weekend?” His face warmed, and he leaned down to her level, smiling at her.
“Hi, Jackson! Today is my birthday.”
“Well, happy birthday, Emma. How old are you today?” He was still hunched down.
“I am six today.”
“Six is a great age. You’re almost all grown up.” My heart fluttered as I watched Emma beaming from his admiration, catching me completely off guard. Jackson still had the power to mess with my head.
“I sure am.” Emma soaked it all up. “We’re having a party this afternoon. Do you want to come? It’s from three to six at our house.”
“Emma, I’m sure Jackson has other plans.” I directed my comment to Emma, trying to offer Jackson an out. I couldn’t imagine he wanted to spend his Saturday afternoon at a six-year-old’s party. I was also not sure if I could handle having him there. It was one thing to analyze these feelings at night, alone. It was another thing entirely to spend the afternoon together, with Emma. I hadn’t brought another man into her life since David died. Having Jackson come, even as a friend, felt like I was being unfaithful. Even if David had been dead for a little over two and a half years now.
Jackson ignored my interruption and kept his gaze focused on Emma. “Thank you for the invitation. I‘m not sure what my plans are this afternoon, but I might stop by. How kind of you to invite me to your party, Emma.”
Jackson always was a gentleman, so it didn’t surprise me that he gave Emma such a sweet reply instead of brushing her off.
He stood and smiled. “I better head out. I have a meeting up in Peekskill. Enjoy your breakfast. Have a great birthday, Emma. Hopefully, I’ll see you later.” He gave me one of his heart-melting grins and took off with his order to go.
I was left sitting there, puzzled. A simple birthday breakfast at the diner just turned into a birthday party with Jackson Wright possibly coming over. How did I prepare for that?
Sarah was coming over straight after lunch to help me with the final preparations. Our living room and porch looked like a bomb of pink and purple streamers, balloons and other decorations exploded on it. Emma loved it, and if she was happy, I was happy.
Secretly, I was very pleased with how her cake turned out. She asked for a chocolate cake decorated in pink roses. I frosted it in an ombre effect of light to dark pink roses, and the result was perfect. She hadn’t seen it yet. I wanted it to be a surprise for her when we brought it out.
Pops was in charge of taking pictures and filming her blowing out her candles and cutting the cake.
We set games up in the yard, and I was so happy the weather stayed nice and warm so the kids could enjoy the fun outside.
Allie came along with Sarah, and the girls snuck off somewhere.
Soon, all her friends arrived and the games started up. Emma was enjoying herself immensely. She was the center of attention and soaking it right up. I was so proud of her. She was such a strong little girl, outgoing and full of life and love. She reminded me so much of her father. My heart hurt knowing he wasn’t here to share this moment with her. Three birthdays ago, he’d been here, helping her cut her cake. Now he was this distant memory, someone she barely remembered.
I heard Allie shout out, “Uncle Jackson, you came.”
I turned to the back gate and noticed him walking up to our garden, holding a stuffed unicorn with a big pink bow tied to it. Allie raced to him, and Emma followed right after her. He handed Emma the present, and she flung herself in his arms. “Thank you, Jackson!” Her little arms tightened around his neck.
Jackson stood there, frozen, but returned her hug almost immediately. His countenance softened as he enfolded my baby in his strong arms. I swallowed down the emotion rising. M
y baby was usually very wary of strange men. Sure, she’d met Jackson a couple of times, but still. The only man I’d seen Emma hug, apart from David, was my dad. Her instant acceptance of Jackson, first at the festival and now at her party, was so unexpected it caught me completely off guard. My eyes welled with tears, but I forced myself not to cry. Today should be a happy day. It was a happy day. Yet I felt as though I might start bawling any minute. What was wrong with me?
“I better go put the candles on the cake.” I turned away from Sarah, hiding my unshed tears. “I’ll be back in a sec.”
JACKSON
“Happy birthday, Emma. I got you something. I hope you like it.” I handed her the stuffed toy from behind my back and saw her eyes light up like stars. She looked so much like Jane, except the eyes. Those must be all her dad. Jane’s were an intoxicating green, Emma’s were a bright, sparkling blue. But she had that same beautiful smile and wavy hair like her mom. It reminded me of Jane as a kid, and the countless times she was over at our house playing with Sarah. Even then I’d noticed her.
“Yeah!” Emma squealed as she grabbed the gift and wrapped her little arms around me. I was totally thrown by her enthusiastic response, but after a moment’s hesitation, I returned the hug. There was something about her arms bundled around me that tugged at the part of my heart I tried to ignore since moving here. Her innocent acceptance forced me to swallow the lump in my throat and the difficult feelings trying to surface. Two years, and I thought I’d forgiven Ainsley for the crap she pulled on me. I still missed Leah, and the possibility of being a dad. But that was over now, ripped away from me, the wounds barely healing.
After pulling myself together and letting go of Emma, I looked around the yard for this sweet girl’s mom. Our eyes met, and my lips curved up in that stupid smile that always appeared whenever she was near. Instead of returning the gesture, her face lacked its usual warmth, startling me. She turned and headed inside. I was confused by her reaction, replaying what just happened. Did I do something wrong? Did I overstep the line by hugging Emma back?
The Songs of You and Me Page 7
