The Songs of You and Me

by Mylissa Demeyere

  As she turned around to head back inside, she spotted me standing there. Her singing and swaying stilled instantly. Her flushed cheeks darkened, giving her an even more appealing look. I fought the smile on my face as I noticed her fidgeting. She looked at me as if she was trying to figure out why I was here on her back porch.

  “So, you are home.” I broke the silence to hide the fact I’d been giving her the full once-over. I swallowed the dryness in my throat, thinking of those tight, swaying hips and those tan legs. Jane had always had great legs. I chuckled and attempted to smooth over the deer in the headlights look she was giving me.

  “That I am.” She crossed her arms and took a challenging stance. She so caught me checking her out, and she was calling me out on it. There was the Jane I remembered, the one I fell in love with. The one that would never let me get away with any kind of crap.

  “I did try the front door a couple of times before I came back here.” I tried to win her over with my smile once again. It was working, because I saw her soften up a bit and return my smile with a very small one of her own.

  “Wow, Jane, I knew you had a decent set of lungs on you, but that singing takes it to a whole new level.” I joked because my brain couldn’t come up with a way to introduce the real reason I was here.

  “You have no idea.” She rolled her eyes and snorted.

  “What brings you here tonight, Jackson? Apart from my amazing vocal talents?” Her gaze shifted to the bouquet in my hands, and she raised her right eyebrow in a challenge.

  “I wanted to give you these.” I paused to hand over the sunflowers. I felt my fingertips brush over hers as she took them. I hesitated to release them, enjoying the sensations her touch ignited. That slight caress lit a slow, burning flame, setting my senses on fire at an alarming rate. I felt that familiar fire intensify as the connection continued. “I spoke to Sarah,” I breathed out softly, afraid to break this spell that came over us. “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

  “What for?” she barely got out, seemingly under the same spell. She gave me a puzzled look as if she wasn’t there last night and couldn’t remember that awkward moment we shared. Her inability to remember made me feel unsure again about being here.

  “I acted like an idiot when we ran into each other at the pharmacy. I saw that test, and I kind of freaked out. It brought back some tough memories. I might have been a little rude.” Those memories haunted me last night as I replayed them in my dreams. I lost everything because of Ainsley’s mistake.

  Complete confusion crossed over her face, before she shook it off and gave me a reassuring look.

  “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad in any way,” I rushed on.

  “Jackson, there’s nothing to apologize for. I was completely on edge about picking up the test for Sarah, and there I am, running into you, of all people, with a pregnancy test in my hands. I was totally caught off guard.”

  She took the flowers from my hands and looked at them properly for the first time. I saw her face light up as she registered which flowers I’d picked up.

  “Sunflowers are my favorite,” she exclaimed without taking her eyes off of the bouquet.

  “I know.” There were lots of things I never forgot, not about Jane.

  She peered at me, a question hanging in the air.

  “I remember.“ My voice turned serious.

  Her gaze turned down, my admission returning that beautiful shade of pink to her cheeks.

  She didn’t reply, but she continued to smile, and the peace I felt these past weeks shone even brighter in that moment. It seemed so tangible, I could almost feel the possibility of what might be, and that sentiment lifted my spirits and gave me the hope I was craving.

  “Why don’t you come on in while I put these in some water.” She didn’t wait for me to answer but headed in through the screen door. Last time I was here, I was in her kitchen. That was with a whole bunch of people around. Now we were all alone.

  “So, where’s Emma?” I shifted from one leg to another, feeling more aware of us being alone.

  “She’s out with my parents. They went to a musical, and she’s staying over. Friday night is their date night.”

  “That’s nice. Bet you miss her, though.”

  “It’s nice to have the place to myself, and it gives me a chance to hang out with Sarah. Though, I still miss Emma every time she’s gone.” She placed the vase on the counter, and the flowers looked perfect in her kitchen.

  “I love them, Jackson. I can’t believe you still remembered after all these years.”

  My heart skipped a beat as I stared into her warm, green eyes. I didn’t comment. I remembered almost everything from back then. It was hard not to. Instead, my gaze wandered to her full lips and I swallowed, hard. I cleared my throat. “Want to go to Mabel’s for a sundae?” I could definitely use the cool distraction.

  “Sure. Let me put this stuff away.” She pointed to the cleaning rags and bucket, and for the first time I took in the rest of the house. Dust cloths, a mop, and a vacuum cleaner were also scattered in the living room. That explained the loud music.

  Minutes later, Jane, was sitting across from me at Mabel’s diner. If I closed my eyes, I could almost believe we were kids again. Almost.

  “How is English at Bellebrook High going, Ms. Pierce?” I questioned as I glanced over the menu. Looked pretty much the same.

  “It’s Ms. Hartford,” Jane mumbled. I glanced up to see her examine the sundae selections. I was such an idiot. In my mind, this was still Jane Pierce, the girl I fell in love with all those years ago, not some dead man’s wife.

  Instead of letting it turn awkward, she answered my initial question as if nothing was amiss. “Most days, I love it. English has always been a passion of mine.”

  “Sunflowers and English. I remember it all.” I grinned, thinking back to her as a freshman, tutoring me, a senior.

  Jane’s eyes softened, and her lips curled up in a smile. She was probably thinking of those same memories.

  “So what’s good? I haven’t eaten one of Mabel’s sundaes in years.” I focused on the selection in the menu instead of staring at her like a lovesick fool.

  “The chocolate sundae with the works is great.” She kept looking at the page in front of her. “Or the peanut butter and chocolate with caramel is also really good.” She continued to scan the selection. “If you’re feeling really adventurous, though, we can go for the chocolate chip cookie skillet sundae for two. I’ve had it a couple of times with Sarah over the years, and it’s amazing. Hot cookie, melted chocolate, the cold ice cream, more melted chocolate, mhm mhm.” She had her eyelids closed, and a small moan escaped. That woman. She had no idea what she did to me. I shook myself, returning my focus to the sundae selections, and chided myself for getting caught up in thoughts of tasting the chocolate on her lips.

  “You get the picture.” She snapped her eyes open and gave me an excited look. I gulped and tried to find the dessert she mentioned. My mind was still wandering.

  “After such a pitch, how can I pick anything else?” I closed the menu and put it aside. Hers followed suit. I mentally patted myself on the shoulder for being able to come up with a decent answer. A waitress I didn’t know made some small talk with Jane before taking our order.

  “Be prepared to have your socks blown off.” She looked up like an excited kid, and I felt my insides turn to knots with pent up desire. Few things made Ainsley excited, and something as simple as sharing an ice cream wouldn’t have cut it. I laughed, realizing how happy I felt.

  “What?” Jane tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and her cheeks turned a tempting shade of pink.

  “I like how you do that.”

  “Do what?” She swiped her hair again, and her cheeks darkened even more.

  “That. How you brush your hair behind your ear when you’re nervous. How you blush. It’s adorable.”

  “It may be adorable when you’re ten. It isn’t when you’re my age.” Her h
and raised to her hair automatically before she shook it off and tucked it away under her leg.

  “So why were you smiling at me like that?”

  “Like what?” I questioned, fighting that goofy grin again.

  “Like that. Seriously, every time you do that, I keep thinking I’ve got something on my face or something.” Her hand popped up again, and before she could tug on her hair, I grabbed it and held it in mine. She pulled in a sharp breath, but she didn’t pull back.

  “I’m glad to be here with you. To see you get excited about something as simple as a sundae.” I urged her to look at me and squeezed her hand.

  “You know me. Doesn’t take a lot to get me excited. Feed me right, preferably something with lots of chocolate.” She attempted to joke, but it fell flat when I laced my fingers between hers, and her eyes popped back to mine.

  “I’ve missed you, Jane,” I started, but the intense moment was broken when Mabel came and set the skillet down, breaking the contact between us.

  “Be careful, it’s hot,” she warned. Jane’s hands disappeared under the table, and as Mabel left us, she recovered.

  “Best to eat it while the cookie is still hot. You’ll thank me later.” She took her spoon and tucked in. I sat there, staring at her lips forming around the spoon. When a soft moan escaped her, I dug in with a huge bite of my own. Wrong thing to do; I felt the burn before I even tasted the chocolate.

  “Drink, quickly.” Jane was holding back laughter as she shoved my drink in my hand. I quickly gulped without tasting the bite I’d shoved in my mouth.

  “I guess I should have warned you to take the ice cream with the hot cookie,” she barely got out as she fought off a peal of laughter.

  “Yeah, I guess you should have.” I tried for my most grouchy voice, but she burst into a louder fit of laughter.

  “I’m so-o-o-o-or-r-r-r-ry,” she barely got out, trying to compose herself, before breaking out again.

  “It isn’t that funny.” I felt myself laughing along with her.

  “Oh, but it is.” She was finally getting herself under control as she brushed a tear away. “You should have seen your face. It was priceless. I wish I thought to film it. Sarah would have gotten a real hoot out of it.”

  “You sure haven’t changed much.” I chuckled.

  “Is that a bad thing?” She stared up at me. I felt my stomach tighten. I was on a freaking roller coaster. The rush and excitement she gave me by a single look was addictive. I didn’t think I ever wanted to get off this ride.

  “Definitely a good thing.” I smiled, feeling those nervous flutters take flight.

  “Ready to try some more, or are you afraid?” she goaded me.

  “I don’t scare that easily.” I returned the challenge, not sure if I was talking about the sundae anymore.

  Thirteen Years Earlier

  Animal – Neon Trees

  JACKSON

  Eighteen months in Boston passed at lightning speed. Boston was a far cry from Bellebrook, but I loved the fast pace and the busy college life. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard, harder than I ever imagined, but the challenge was good. It kept me occupied, and I found the focus was just what I needed to stay on track with my studies.

  The Boston Architectural College was everything I hoped it would be, and then some. I was lucky to get a scholarship into the program, and with the many firms they assigned us to work with, the chances of me finding a permanent job after I graduated were high. I knew that was still a long way down the line, but I thought about it, and I could see myself living here in Boston. It wasn’t too far from Bellebrook, but busy enough to keep me challenged in my field of work.

  Moving here would mean I’d never get a chance with Jane. Not that there’d ever been one. I honestly thought moving here, and the busyness of school would push her to the back of my mind. But then I’d see something that reminded me of her, or something would happen, and I wanted to pick up the phone and talk to her.

  I kept going back to that moment when I left. Heck, if I was honest, I kept going back to the many moments when I could have made a move, but I backed out. I reminded myself I made the right decision. Jane was too young, it wouldn’t have worked. But the distance between us didn’t make me like her any less. If anything, I missed her more than I thought I would. She really became one of my best friends, someone I turned to when I needed someone. I missed that. I missed it more than I felt comfortable admitting.

  I’d been living in a dingy apartment just off of campus and rooming with Alex. He was a great roommate. He kept the place fairly clean, no loud music, no fights over food or sharing the TV. He wasn’t home much, a very social student. And when he was home, he studied. I’d really lucked out.

  Alex had been seeing a girl for a couple of months now, and he was trying to set me up with one of her friends. I wasn’t excited about that, and so far I was able to keep him off of my back about it. At the moment, my feelings were a complicated mess without adding another girl to the mix.

  Tonight he was going to a party on campus with Rachel, his girlfriend, and he’d been pushing me to go all week. So far, I hadn’t committed. I had a whole load of assignments that needed handing in; I couldn’t even fathom the idea of a party on a Friday night. But now all of the assignments were handed in, and I felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. A party might be exactly what I needed.

  I picked up my cell and dialed Alex’s number.

  “Wassup, man!” Alex greeted me in his typical jovial way.

  “Hey, what time’s this party tonight?”

  “Kicks off at seven. We’re planning to make an appearance at eight. You coming or what?”

  “Sure. I’m done studying.”

  Alex acknowledged my news with a few expletives and agreed to pick me up at 7:45.

  The party was in full swing as we arrived a little after eight. Everyone we passed stopped to greet Alex. The guy knew everyone. It was a conundrum. Alex partied a lot. Yet he studied hard, had good grades. He even helped me out on occasion.

  After making the rounds and grabbing a drink, Alex and Rachel headed off to catch up with another one of his friends.

  Taking another look around the room packed with people either swinging to the beat or huddled together trying to have a conversation over the sound of the music, I realized I didn’t really know anyone here besides Alex or Rachel. I guess that was what happened when you locked yourself in your apartment, studying to keep your scholarship. You needed to work your butt off to keep it, and your social life basically sucked.

  I finished off my soda and headed to the kitchen to get a snack. On my way there, I bumped into someone, and I felt the front of my shirt get drenched.

  I glanced down to inspect the damage to my white T-shirt. A huge grape-colored stain was spreading. Then my eyes landed on a cute blonde girl with bright blue eyes staring up at me.

  “I’m so sorry.” She grabbed a load of napkins off the counter and patted down my shirt, trying to clean up the stain.

  “Uh… I think it’s a goner.” I stood there with this girl’s hands patting me down and getting up real close in my personal space.

  “I’m sure I can fix this. Take your shirt off.”

  “Excuse me?” I scoffed. Did she seriously just tell me to strip my shirt off?

  “I think if you put club soda or something like that on it like right away, it might save your shirt.”

  “Seriously, don’t worry about it. It’s not that big of a deal. I really don’t mind.”

  The poor girl looked adamant about getting her hands on my shirt, so I changed tactics.

  “I’m Jackson, by the way.” I stuck my hand out, waiting for her to shake it, and put this awkward moment behind us.

  “I’m Ainsley,” she replied, still focused on my shirt as she shook my outstretched hand.

  “Nice to meet you, Ainsley.”

  “I feel really bad about your shirt. Please let me at least pay you for a new one if you won’t let me fix i
t now?”

  “Honestly, forget about it. It’s an old shirt. You did me a favor. Now I have to get rid of it. My mom might call and thank you in the morning.”

  She offered me a small smile, and her tense face softened into a pretty one.

  “Are you a student here at BAC?”

  “I’m actually a psychology major at Pine Manor College.”

  “Wow… I wouldn’t have pegged you as a psych major,” I replied without thinking.

  “And why not?” Her voice took on a defensive tone.

  “I don’t know. The spatters of paint on your fingernails and the smudges on your fingers made me think you might be more of a creative type.”

  “You shouldn’t assume.” She pointed her finger at me. “That’s a hobby to relax my mind when I need to stop thinking about all the stuff being crammed into it.”

  She smirked, and I felt almost exposed, like she was reading me.

  “What? It was a fair assumption,” I defended.

  “It sure was. And here is one for you. You, Jackson, are here, but you don’t really want to be here. I’m assuming it has to do with a girl.”

  She noticed my shocked expression, but continued.

  “You like this girl.” Seeing my body respond to her startling hunch, she powered on. “You like her a lot, but somehow it hasn’t worked out for you two. Tell you what, Jackson, when you get over her, I might still be around. And then maybe we can do this”—She circled her finger between us—“again.”

  “Again?” I questioned, still stunned by her words. And her forwardness.

  “Again.” She grinned. “Without the messy shirt. And hopefully with a much better ending.” She stood on her toes and dropped a kiss on my cheek. “Grape looks really hot on you,” she whispered in my ear.

  Before I could respond, she disappeared in the mass of swaying bodies, and I was left standing there trying to figure out what the heck happened.

  Present Day