We were finally here.
“I love the pictures.” Beth, my roommate, stared at the collection I’d stuck to the wall in a collage shaped like a heart. I’d hung up a picture of my parents, pictures with one of them with me, several with Sarah, some serious, but mostly goofy, ridiculous ones. I‘d added a few of my friends from school, the Hudson River lookout I loved—for obvious reasons—and then there was a picture Sarah snapped of Jackson and me. It was at one of the town get-togethers the summer before he left to college. Jackson had his arm slung around me. Ever since I’d had that one developed, it took up permanent residence in my room. When I left, it had to come.
“Cute. This your sister?” Beth was staring at a picture of Sarah sitting piggyback on me, laughing her pants off.
“No, my best friend.” I averted my gaze, trying to avoid the pang of pain I felt thinking of her absence.
“Oh.” Beth’s voice took on a fun, teasing tone. Her eyes were fixed on the picture of Jackson, and I could see the hungriness as she took in his hot sexiness. “That most definitely isn’t your brother.” She grinned at me.
I chuckled, wondering how she knew.
“Yeah, the look on your face in the picture.” Her eyes snapped back to the wall. “That isn’t the look anyone has on their face when their brother has his arm around them.”
My cheeks warmed at her observation.
She sat on my bed, crossing her legs and facing the wall with the pictures. “Boyfriend?” She waited for me to explain.
“Hardly,” I blurted. How to explain the weird relationship I had with Jackson, if you could even call it that?
“Have you looked at the picture?” She laughed. Obviously my discomfort amused her. “Well, have you?”
“Sure.” I wasn’t going to admit that I’d spent a great deal of the summer doing just that. It bordered on being stalkerish.
“He is really hot.” She inspected the picture again, and my hackles came up.
“I know,” I snapped, feeling territorial. Who was I kidding, though? Jackson wasn’t mine.
“Hey, I’m just saying.” She held up her hands in surrender. “I don’t mean anything. I can’t help it I’ve a keen eye for the finer things in life.” She offered another smile, and I felt my defenses melt.
“He sure is one of the finer things in life.” I said, warming up to her frankness.
“There’s a party tonight.” She changed the subject, hopping off my bed. “I’m sure there will be some fine specimens there. I spotted a few when I was getting settled in this morning.”
Beth was all unpacked by the time we arrived. I’m sure she’d had ample time to make the rounds.
“Sure, why not? Let me finish up here.” A party sounded like the right thing to take my mind off the somber thoughts swirling in my head.
“I wasn’t kidding when I asked you about that picture,” she added. “Anyone looking at it can see you both are crazy about each other. It’s written all over your goofy faces.” With that, she collected her stuff and headed to the shower.
I stopped my unpacking and stared at the picture again. I’d memorized every detail of it. I’d always gone weak staring at Jackson’s hotness, but now I focused on reading his eyes. Did she have a point? Was that smile broader because he really was into me?
Whatever she saw there, it was a long time ago. Whatever chance might have been there, it was long gone. Time to leave the questions up there with the picture, a sweet memory, but nothing more.
Present Day
What Lovers Do (feat. SZA) – Maroon 5, SZA
JANE
Emma dashed into the kitchen and peered up at me through her long lashes. “Can we make a pie with the apples Nana sent over?”
“Sure we can.” I could use something to distract me from a certain dark-haired guy and his amazing, heart-melting kisses.
“Why don’t we start by making the pie crust, and then we can tackle those apples?”
Emma hopped off the stool in the kitchen and started collecting flour, sugar, and every other baking ingredient her little arms could hold from the pantry. A half hour later, the pie crust was resting in the fridge, and Emma and I were ready to take on the load of apples.
“Can you get me a bowl to put the apple pieces in, please?” I called over my shoulder as I retrieved the chopping board from the cabinet.
“Here.” Emma dropped the bowl in the sink and produced her own chopping board and knife.
“Careful with that,” I warned her. “I wouldn’t want you to cut yourself.” Last thing we needed was a trip to the ER.
“Why don’t you use the peeler and skin the apples?” I handed her the kitchen utensil, and her face fell. “Hey,” I reassured her. “This is the most important part.”
Her face lit up, and she started peeling with a vengeance.
“You are doing an excellent job.” My heart swelled with pride at how much this little girl of mine was growing up to be so independent.
Once the first apples were peeled, I made fast work of coring and chopping the apples. The chunks of chopped fruit were transferred into the bowl and coated with sugar and cinnamon.
“Last one, Mommy.” Emma glowed with the satisfaction of a job well done.
“Perfect. You are definitely the best apple peeler in the...” My praise was cut short by a shooting pain in my finger, and I realized I’d sliced into the length of my finger with the tip of the knife. Instinct drove me to the tap to stick my throbbing finger under the running water. The sink soon colored with rivulets of red, and the throbbing increased. “Oh, man!” I bellowed. The pain stung.
“You’re bleeding.” Emma’s voice picked up. I needed to calm my baby. She didn’t do so well with blood. I grabbed the nearest clean dish towel and wrapped it around my cut, applying pressure to stop the bleeding.
The doorbell rang, and I silently cursed whomever was there. Now wasn’t the time for me to be getting the door. I debated ignoring it, but Emma raced for it, so I ran behind her, pinching my finger hard.
“Jackson,” I blurted as I swung the door open. He looked great, momentarily distracting me from the pounding in my finger.
“Mommy cut her finger real bad,” Emma cried out. “Can you help?”
“Mom will be fine.” I directed my comment to Emma, feeling flustered seeing him in my current state, covered in flour and fighting back the pain.
“What happened?” His smile vanished.
“It’s nothing.” I brushed his concern off.
“That doesn’t look like nothing.” The towel soaked up the blood, a bright red, wet mess. “Let’s go inside and have a look.”
He didn’t wait for me to answer as he came in and closed the door. He led me to the kitchen and slowly unwrapped the towel.
“This is going to need stitches.” He looked at my hand, softly prodding and examining the cut. “Emma, can you get your coat on, and get your mom’s coat and bag? We’re going to have this looked at.”
“Are we now?” I probably did need the stitches, but I wasn’t sure I wanted Jackson to be the one to take me.
“Yes, we are. You need help, so no time for arguments.” He gave me a stern look.
“You could hand me the phone. I’ll call my Dad, or Sarah,” I added as an afterthought. “One of them can take me.”
“Jane.” He waited for me to look at him. “We’re doing this. Stop fighting it.” He looked like he was hiding a grin. Was he even talking about my cut? “If you want, we can drop Emma off at your parents’ place, but you and me, we’re doing this together.”
He gave me another one of those rueful smiles, and my heartbeat picked up. His words sounded innocent enough, but why was I so off balance?
“Okay.” He wrapped the coat Emma collected around my shoulder and led us out. After locking up the house, he buckled Emma in her booster seat and got me buckled in the front seat with a new dish rag wrapped around my cut. The throbbing hurt, but it wasn’t distracting enough to keep me from noticing hi
s spicy scent when he leaned in, or the slight stubble along his jawline. That wasn’t there last night, and my mind imagined what it would feel like under my fingers. Luckily, my hand was wrapped around the injured one, or I might have reached over and found out.
“You both okay?” Jackson asked, getting into the driver seat of my compact SUV.
“You sure you don’t want me to talk to my parents?” I tried again. “They could take me.” When I saw his frown, I gave up trying to convince him otherwise.
“Hey, Em?” Jackson looked at Emma through the rearview mirror. “You coming with us? Or you want me to drop you off at your grandparents’?”
“I’m coming with you.” Emma’s voice was low. As I turned to look at her, I could see her clutching on to the unicorn toy she’d grabbed on the way out. She looked scared.
“Sure thing, princess.” Jackson gave her a warm smile, and she returned it. This man had my baby wrapped around his finger. Or was it the other way around?
“Jane, we’re doing this. I’ve got it. I’ve got you. You both.” He rested his hand on my knee and gave it a slight squeeze. Inside, the butterflies went crazy, giving me all those hopeful feelings again.
“If you insist.” I didn’t add more. I feared shattering the small hope that he’d ignited last night. If I was honest, I kept expecting him to pull back like he did so many times when we were kids.
“I do.” He gave me that smile I loved and turned back to the road.
Jackson made the short drive to the ER and hopped out to help me with my door and belt. After checking me in, we were led to a triage area, where I was asked a ton of questions. All the while, he held on to Emma and soothed the worry from my baby.
“This is going to need stitches,” the male nurse confirmed. I swallowed down the sarcastic retort burning a hole on my tongue. I sure didn’t come here for the atmosphere.
“We’ll set you up in a minor injuries area, and someone will be down in a minute to suture you up, good as new.” The nurse stood to lead me out, and Emma’s eyes grew wide as saucers. She wasn’t doing so well. I could kick myself for not insisting she went over to my parents’.
“How about Emma and I go over to the cafeteria and get a snack, while you get that sorted out?” Jackson waited for me to agree, Emma wrapped around his leg, his arm resting on her back.
“Sure. Why don’t you go see if they have some cookies and milk?”
Emma offered me a small smile and picked up her stuffed toy to leave with Jackson. Before turning to go, she launched herself in my arms and squeezed me tight. “I love you, Mommy.” Her voice broke, holding back tears.
“Love you, too, baby girl.” I choked back emotion.
“You going to be okay?” Jackson whispered and leaned in, offering his support.
With him this close, I wasn’t sure I would be okay, but I managed to swallow and say, “I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be right here, waiting.” His eyes bored into mine, and before I knew what was happening, he closed the distance between us and kissed me softly. I was too stunned to react. Emma giggled, her earlier distress forgotten. She pulled on Jackson’s hand.
“Let’s get cookies.” She had no qualms with him kissing her momma like that. I, on the other hand, was having a hard time walking out unaffected.
Surprisingly, I made it to the treatment area in an even gait. One dose of anesthetic and four stitches later, I was good to go.
“Your husband and daughter are waiting for you in the waiting area.” A nurse came to get me.
“Oh, he isn’t…” I tried to correct her, but she was on a roll.
“Such a looker. Half the nursing staff was lingering at the front desk, trying to get a glimpse of him. And look at him, reading to your girl. He must be such a good dad.”
I stopped in my tracks as I saw Jackson with Emma curled up against him. She was resting her head halfway in his lap as he wrapped his arm around her. He was reading some book to her, and I could faintly hear him using different voices. She had a huge grin plastered on her face and even broke out in a loud laugh, causing other people nearby to look over at them and smile. They made a beautiful picture.
“You are a lucky lady,” the nurse said.
I barely heard her words, I was so caught up watching my baby with Jackson. She was so comfortable, wrapped up in his arms, listening to him read, soaking up his attention. I didn’t know what it was Jackson and I were doing, but I did feel lucky as I looked at him, holding Emma and giving her what I couldn’t. My heart fluttered, hoping this was the start of something.
He looked up from his story and smiled as he caught me staring. I smiled back and felt my insides warm even more.
“I sure am lucky,” I answered the nurse, but my eyes were trained on my baby and the man that seemed to be working his way into my heart.
JACKSON
“How does pizza sound?” I flashed Jane a look, hoping she approved, as I got her and Emma settled in the car and drove out of the parking lot of the hospital. Jane appeared exhausted, probably from the pain and stress of getting stitches and waiting in the ER.
“Yay, pizza!” Emma hollered from the back, as she bounced in her booster seat.
“You can drop us off at home. You’ve done more than enough.” Jane turned to me, her intense stare making my heart rate pick up.
“What are you going to do when you get home? Start cooking, clean up the mess in the kitchen…?” I glanced her way, and her face told me that was exactly what she was planning on doing. “I don’t think so. Let’s eat first, and then we can take care of the rest.”
“I can manage, you know,” Jane protested. I wasn’t having it.
“I’m sure you can manage. I have the greatest confidence in you.” I waggled my eyebrows at her. Jane fought to keep a straight face, but Emma burst out laughing. “I’m telling you that tonight I’m here, and we’ll figure it out, together,” I added more seriously.
I didn’t know where we stood. I’d kissed her last night, and I was hoping to kiss her some more. But we hadn’t figured anything out yet. Still, I was her friend. And right now, she needed one of those, whether she liked it or not.
“Okay,” she conceded, and Emma cheered once more.
“Can we have pepperoni pizza, please?” Emma pleaded.
I looked over at Jane, and she grinned. I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me. This girl was almost a carbon copy of her mom. “Sure you can, princess. Pepperoni it is.”
Anything for that smile!
“I can’t believe you still drink that stuff,” Jane commented as I took a swig of my Dr Pepper. I guess I wasn’t the only one who remembered stuff. I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” she laughed, and her cheeks darkened.
“You,” I replied. She continued to stare at me, waiting for me to elaborate. Instead, I grabbed another slice and pushed away the memories from so long ago. A lot had changed since then, yet it felt so familiar, sitting here sharing a pizza with Jane, talking like old times.
“You do know that stuff will kill you, right?” She grinned as she took another bite of her pizza.
I snorted, not offering any reply.
“What?” She stared at me, abandoning her slice.
“Says the woman eating pizza?” I laughed.
“Touché!” Jane wiped her uninjured hand on a napkin and stood to gather Emma’s plate and cup.
“What are you doing?” I scolded as I reached out to grab the stuff from her hand. I felt that well-known electricity as our hands connected. Jane’s eyes widened, telling me she was affected by my touch as much as I was by hers.
“Getting this cleaned up,” she replied.
“Sit down.” I cringed as my voice came out raspy. I coughed to cover it up and started again. “Let me get this. You need to rest that hand.”
Jane smiled knowingly but conceded. I quickly collected the almost-empty pizza box and put the dishes in the dishwasher.
“What do you want me to do wit
h this?” I picked up a bowl with what looked like apple pie filling in it.
“Cover it up with foil and stick in in the fridge, will you?” She pointed out where I could find the foil, and I soon stored it in the fridge.
After opening a few cabinets in the kitchen and coming up short, I called out to Jane. “Where can I find the cleaning products to clean this stuff up?”
“On the top shelf in the garage, through that door.” Jane led me into the garage, and I reminded myself I was there to collect the equipment to clean the mess up in the kitchen, not get close to Jane.
After cleaning up the remainder of the bloodstains in the sink and giving the countertop a once-over, I stored all of the equipment back.
“You look like you’ve done that before.” Jane’s eyes twinkled as she walked in the garage and leaned on the car.
“I do manage to clean my place up every now and then.” I stuck my hands in my back pockets and moved closer.
“Careful, I might start believing you’re really good at all of this and decide I want to hang on to you a little longer.” Her tone was teasing, but I was ready for her to hang on to me.
“Careful, I might hold you to that promise.” I closed the distance between us and leaned in, our lips mere inches apart. Her uninjured hand came up and rested on my chest. My heartbeat picked up. She wet her lips, and I swallowed the impulse to devour her right here.
Instead, I forced myself to take it slow and easy, using the softest of pressure as I touched my lips to hers. She responded and met me with enough force to make me forget my earlier intent. As her mouth opened to me, I swore it took all of my willpower to keep myself in check. I reminded myself once more to take my time as I responded and deepened the kiss. Her hand traveled up my neck, and I released a soft groan as her fingers tangled in my hair.
“Mommy,” Emma called from the living room. The voice sounded so far away as I was lost in Jane, but I felt her pull back and step away, leaving me in a daze. Clearly one of us still had the ability to act like an adult.
The Songs of You and Me Page 13
