“Have a little faith, Jackson.” She returned the gesture by squeezing my hand, and I saw unshed tears in her eyes. Dad meant so much to so many people, not just Mom, Sarah, or me.
“How about we go out with Tom and Sarah for some ice cream later on, when you need a break?” Jane gave me a half smile, trying to encourage me as much as herself.
“Sure, but let’s first eat whatever it is your mom cooked and head on over to the hospital, okay?”
“Sure.” She gave my hand one last squeeze before releasing it. I felt the loss instantly.
Jane started setting the table and getting the casserole out of the oven, as Sarah walked into the kitchen with her hair wet and still dripping on her shirt.
“Thanks for this, Jane.” Sarah gave Jane a sideways hug before rubbing her face. I noticed her eyes starting to water again.
After eating as much as we could, we packed up some of the casserole for Mom and headed to the hospital. Jane came with us. The ride over was mostly silent, except for a few comments back and forth between Sarah and Jane about school.
We parked the car and made our way to the Cardiac Care Unit. Mom was waiting in the hallway and stood up the moment she saw us approach.
“I’m so glad you’re here. The doctor just left. Your father is doing better. He said that if your father stays stable, he will make a full recovery. He’s going to be fine.” She wrapped us in her arms, crushing us close. I could feel her cry, and I pulled her close. Mom must have been out of her mind with worry.
“We brought you some food.” Sarah indicated the container. “It’s probably still hot. Why don’t you try to eat something? Then we can see about you getting a shower and some fresh clothes.”
At the mention of food, Mom looked up, properly noticing Jane for the first time. She offered a weak smile and enfolded her in a hug.
“Did your Mom make this, dear?”
“Yes, she did.”
“Will you thank her for me? You are such dears, cooking us a meal and coming along with the kids to the hospital.”
Sarah instructed Mom to eat, and both of them disappeared in search of utensils and the family facilities to shower, leaving me alone with Jane.
“You sure you have time to stay?” I turned to Jane.
“There’s no place I’d rather be right now.” She smiled at me, and I found myself returning hers with one of my own.
Hopefully when this drama with Dad was behind us, there wouldn’t be anything standing in our way.
Present Day
It’s Gotta Be You - Isaiah
JANE
It had been about a week, and my hand had almost healed. The stitches would be coming out in a couple of days, but it was still a little sore.
Sarah invited us over for dinner tonight, a nice treat after eating easy meals with a cut up hand.
“Don’t forget we have to have some dinner at Sarah’s before you dig into those brownies, right?” I reminded Emma.
She’d been eyeing them ever since she got home from school.
“I know, Mom,” Emma grumbled, too eager to get to Sarah’s and play with Allie.
When we arrived, she hopped out of her booster seat before I had a chance to get around to her side of the car, and the moment I opened her door, she was out of the car and through the door, calling out for Allie. As I walked in, the delicious smells of Sarah’s cooking greeted me. I was beyond grateful to eat a home-cooked meal that I didn’t have to cook myself.
“Hi, Jane. You can set those brownies on the counter over there. I’m almost done, and then we can eat.” Sarah was eyeing the treat, being sure not to lose sight of where I set them down.
Pregnant Sarah liked brownies even more than regular Sarah, so yeah, I wasn’t going to be forgetting them tonight. “Thanks so much for getting me my much-needed fix.” Sarah gave me a quick sideways hug, her eyes still trained on the dish.
“Do you need any help?” I hung my coat up and stuffed my bag in the corner.
“Nope, just about done.” Sarah looked a little flushed. That pregnant glow was making its first appearance.
“What are we having tonight?” My stomach grumbled in response to the heavenly smells of beef, onion, and seasoning coming from her oven.
“Meatloaf with green beans and baked potatoes.”
“Sarah, that sounds amazing. I could kiss you right now.”
Sarah’s face lit up with a knowing smile. “Speaking of kisses, I hear you’ve been getting some of those lately.” She waggled her brows and gave me a cheeky grin. She looked a lot like that brother of hers when she did that, which totally threw me off. Tuning back into her comment, I decided for a distraction tactic.
“You know what's really special about our relationship? The complete understanding about the need for one's privacy. I mean, you really understand boundaries.” I gave her a cheeky grin of my own.
“So, tell me about these kisses you shared with Jackson?” This was Sarah. I was going to have to step it up, or change tactics. She wasn’t having it.
“Sarah!” I scolded her. Seriously, she could be such a stubborn pain sometimes.
“I'm going to find out anyway.”
I was sure she would, but no need to fuel her fire.
“How?” I asked, even though I knew there was no point.
“You do know he’s coming over for dinner, right?” On cue, the back door opened and Jackson walked in.
“Hi, sis, it smells really good in here.”
Sarah turned to me and smiled her typical treacherous smile. I shook my head and headed out to the table to see what needed to be done. I couldn’t even respond to that. After Jackson’s unexpected kiss in the parking lot the other night, and then him coming to the rescue after I cut my hand, my mind was completely consumed with thoughts of him. The blue hue of his eyes, the softness of his lips, the way his eyelids hooded before he leaned in. I’d been reliving it over and over, dissecting each detail, waiting for the ball to drop, and him to tell me it was all one big, fat mistake. And I kept thinking of David. Was I being fair to him?
Luckily, I didn’t have time to get lost in all these thoughts again, because Sarah called everyone to the table. And with the girls, that became an animated affair. They were laughing, talking, and the complete center of everyone’s attention, which helped ease the tension I was feeling, analyzing all of these feelings overwhelming me. I hadn’t had a chance to see Jackson after his help on Saturday, and we didn’t talk about our kisses. And especially what they meant.
After dinner was eaten and cleared up, Sarah declared it time to eat dessert. And when the pregnant woman mentioned dessert, we all complied.
“Tom, can you get the tub of ice cream from the freezer in the garage?” Sarah called out, with her head stuck in the freezer section of the fridge in the kitchen. “I can’t seem to find the vanilla ice cream in here.”
“Sure thing, be back in a sec.” Tom ran out to the garage, but returned empty-handed a few minutes later.
“Are you sure there’s a tub in there? I couldn’t find it.” He shrugged.
“We had a tub in there, remember?” Sarah ran into the garage in search of it, muttering on her way.
“I can’t find it, either. I guess we ran out.” Sarah looked ruffled. Tom, on the other hand looked like he wanted to say something, but wisely reconsidered.
“How about I run to the store and pick up a tub? I’ll be back in no time.” Tom knew his wife, and instead of calling her out on the ice cream she probably already ate, he simply offered to get more. Sarah was a lucky lady.
“Would you? I can’t have brownies without ice cream.” She reached up and kissed him.
“Girls, get your jackets on. We’re going to pick up ice cream.” Tom got his keys and headed out to the garage.
“I’m going to…” Jackson looked at a loss what to do. He seemed to be debating staying, or going with Tom and the girls. He glanced from Sarah to me, a look of uncertainty painted on his face.
“Go, pick out the good stuff.” Sarah shooed him off, and he seemed relieved to have an out.
He turned back once more to get the girls out and gave me a warm smile before disappearing through the door leading into the garage.
Something had definitely changed between us since the school dance and him coming over the other night. I could sense it in the way he looked at me, the way my body responded when he entered a room. Something shifted, and I wondered if it was momentary or lasting.
Sarah walked back into the kitchen and started rummaging around in the cabinets.
“I think I deserve some of those yummy brownies for all of my hard work.”
“Honestly, Sarah, I don’t know where you put it, the way you keep eating.” I teased.
Sarah always ate like a horse and was as thin as a rake. Some things in life were so unfair.
“Hey, I am eating for two, remember?” She pouted.
“I‘ll look like the one that ate for two if I don’t run some serious miles tomorrow to work this off,” I commented.
“You want to wait for the ice cream, or you want a piece now? I vote for a piece now.”
“You know me so well, Sarah,” I replied. One should never turn down good dessert.
Sarah served up a piece while my mind drifted back to the events of last weekend. I still couldn’t believe what happened.
“Hey, you there? You seem miles away.”
“Just thinking,” I replied.
“Was it as good as you imagined, or better?” She answered in her all-knowing, typical Sarah way.
“You do know there are so many things wrong with that question, right? This is Jackson we’re talking about. Your brother, in case you forgot.” I stared her down, but Sarah remained unfazed. “You scare me sometimes, you know that, right?”
“He may be my brother, but I have the ability to discuss this with you like a real friend. And I know how long you pined for him all throughout high school. I can’t even imagine what you must be thinking right now. You have got to give me something here.”
“Honestly, I’m not sure what to think. I feel like I’m on this bubble, and it’s going to pop at any moment.”
“What did he say?” Sarah looked at me expectantly, the knife hovering over the dish, not cutting into it yet.
“We haven’t gotten that far,” I replied.
“So let me get this straight. You kissed.”
“Twice,” I interrupted. Might as well get the whole of it out.
“Twice,” Sarah blurted, and my face heat up with the admission. “And you haven’t sat down and had a heart-to-heart with him?” Her voice rose, checking to see if she got this all right so far.
“To give him some credit, I think he came over on Saturday to talk, but I cut my hand as he rang the doorbell, and he ended up taking me to the ER and spending the evening taking care of me.”
Sarah’s interest piqued with this info. Jackson didn’t fill her in on all the details.
“We didn’t get around to it. Tonight is the first time I’ve seen him since.”
“Okay.” Sarah took her time digesting the details. “How do you want that conversation to go?” She dropped the knife, ignoring the brownies for now because she was so caught up in the conversation.
“I’ve been going over it nonstop since it happened. I can’t really think of anything else. And I don’t know.”
“Well, did you like it?” Sarah crossed her arms and leaned into the counter, waiting for me to offer an answer.
My face warmed, and my eyes dropped to the floor.
“That’s what I thought.” Sarah seemed a little too excited about my discomfort. There was no way I could hide my true feelings from her. She knew me, and she knew how I’d felt about him back then. She also knew all of what I went through. “So what are you going to do now?” Her voice came out as a challenge.
My eyes snapped up to hers. “What do you mean?”
“You aren’t kids anymore. You both have a lot of baggage. Yet you took the plunge. It’s got to mean something.”
“I hope it does,” I blurted out. Sarah had hit a sore spot, one I’d picked at all week. Did it mean something? Was Jackson going to step up? Or was my heart going to be smashed and broken again by that man? And was I completely ready to move forward after David?
“Mommy, we got Rocky Road!” Allie bustled in, carrying a pint of ice cream.
“And Jackson got you some as well, Mommy.” Emma dashed in after Allie, holding a pint of my favorite flavor. “He knows you like cookie dough.” Emma dropped the carton on the counter and gave me a broad smile.
“Does he, now?” I ruffled her curls as my insides warmed at the kind gesture.
“Sure,” Jackson confirmed behind me. His warm breath tickled my hair, goose bumps raising on my arms. That heat spread all the way down to my toes, turning my knees to jelly. Thank heavens I was leaning on the counter.
Sarah watched our exchange with a knowing smile. With Jackson’s back to her, she mouthed out talk to him, distracting me from his closeness.
“You okay?” He leaned in for the first time tonight and I stilled, uncertain of what his next move would be. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to get close to him in front of Sarah.
“How is your hand?” He trailed his fingers softly over my injured hand, and my insides turned to a hot pool of lava. One touch, and my body responded.
“It’s better.” I released the breath I was holding.
“You cold?” His hands trailed up over my arm, warming up the exposed skin. How could he not know what he was doing to me?
“No, I’m fine.” I exhaled, soaking up the warmth of his touch on my skin.
“It’d be a shame to have that ice cream go to waste because you were too cold to eat it,” he teased, his hands lingering on my arms.
“I’ll be fine.” I stared up into his eyes, the warmth of him seeping into me.
JACKSON
“I’d better get this little lady home.” Jane stood to leave. I caught a whiff of her perfume, and my insides tightened. The soft fragrance of orange blossom and the slight hint of ginger was typically Jane. As always, a mere touch to one of my senses, and my whole body reacted. Without thinking, my legs carried me out of my seat, and I followed her like the lovesick idiot I was.
“I’ve got to get a move on as well.” I got my coat and headed for the door. Jane was already buckling the kid in, and Sarah was at the front door with Allie and Tom waiting to wave her off.
“Love you, sis.” I leaned in to give her a hug. She returned the gesture, but not before I caught her eyes sparkling with a knowing grin.
“Love you, too.” She squeezed me tighter than usual, hanging on longer as well. “Don’t mess this up. This is your chance,” she whispered in my ear, so softly I strained to hear. Pulling back, I saw the intensity in her eyes. “Go, make it count.” She gave my arm a last, encouraging squeeze.
“See you, squirt.” I pulled Allie to me quickly and gave Tom a pat on the back before rushing after Jane.
I caught up with her just in time, as she held her door open, ready to get in. I grabbed her hand, stopping her leaving.
“I’ve missed you.” I laced our fingers together, feeling bold after Sarah’s reassurances. I kissed her hand, turning up the charm a bit more.
“I’ve missed you, too,” Jane admitted, turning her face sideways.
“The right thing for you to do would be to invite me over.” Jane’s face snapped to mine, panic written all over it. “To talk.”
I don’t know what she thought my statement meant, but that was not what I’d been implying. Although I would love to see things go there, now wasn’t the time.
“Talking would be great.” Relief was evident in the drop of her shoulders.
“I’ll see you in a few.”
The quick drive over gave me another chance to go through what I wanted to say. Not that this week hadn’t given me ample opportunity. I hadn’t thought of much else.
&
nbsp; “Can I get you a hot cocoa?” Jane asked as she walked into her kitchen. Emma was tucked into bed, and the house held an uncomfortable silence.
“Sure,” I responded, not really thinking about it. Being here, alone with Jane, had me on edge. I’d rehearsed this all week, what I would say when I had the opportunity. But now I was drawing a blank.
“You wanted to talk?” Her eyes glanced at me longingly, and I reminded myself once more that talking was what I was here for.
“I did,” I replied, trying to stay rooted, with my hands tucked securely by my side. No way was I going to get anything said with Jane in arm’s reach.
“Now would be the time for that, then.” Jane’s uninjured hand drummed out a staccato beat on the countertop, making my erratic nerves even more edgy. Before I realized it, I crossed the distance between us and grabbed her hand in mine. Jane’s warm hand in mine gave me the courage I needed.
“I really enjoyed that kiss,” I jabbered, forgetting everything I’d rehearsed. She looked up at me.
“I did, too.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, turning away. Standing this close to her, her heat seeping into my shirt, I leaned in and gave in to the desire to enjoy another one of those kisses.
Jane momentarily hesitated, not expecting my assault. In no time, her movements mimicked mine. The soft tug and pull on her lips were returned. Our first kiss had been unsure, searching. This one felt different. No more tentative exploring. We were slowly getting familiar with each other, and I, for one, was reveling in it. The shy Jane was missing; here was a woman taking all I was offering in this kiss.
I didn’t need more of an invitation to pour everything I couldn’t say into it. All I felt for her, the way my heart beat faster just looking at her, my insides burning with heat wherever she touched me, I spilled all of that in there.
The Songs of You and Me Page 15
