Imperfect Love

by Isabella White

  Why hadn’t she just asked him? Then again, how could she have known?

  He’d mentioned that they should get a place, and he’d talked about how much he wanted the baby. That he would never leave them, still… there she was.

  Abruptly, her thoughts did an about-turn and began to calculate how much powder she still had left; half a tin as well as a full, unopened one. For the next month she would be fine. What she would do thereafter was in God’s hands.

  Early next morning, Holly arrived in Atlanta. She couldn’t shake off the feeling of being discovered and covered her head with the hoodie she’d bought when she purchased a ticket to Seattle—where her father lived.

  She knew what he would inevitably say when she showed up, but she had no other choice. He would help her, of that she had no doubt as he’d been trying desperately to connect with her again. And there she was, presenting him with that very chance.

  A woman sat next to her on the bus, and when the tears began to flow again she asked Holly if she was all right.

  Holly ended up telling the stranger her story. The woman, who turned out to be very kind, listened with compassion, even giving her a hug, which was exactly what she’d needed. It had felt really good.

  Finally reaching Seattle, she stepped off the bus, gathered her bags, hailed a cab and directed the driver to her father’s offices. When he pulled up in front of its glass doors, Holly waited a beat before paying and hauling her suitcases into the reception area.

  Duly announcing herself, she was told by the beautiful girl behind the counter that Mr. Scallanger would be out until late that afternoon, so she made herself comfortable in preparation for the long wait.

  Her father was filthy rich. It was a life Holly knew nothing about, because Charles Scallanger had left them just before her sister died. Sure, he’d helped with the bills and paid maintenance; he wasn’t that heartless, but the last time she’d seen him was at her sister’s funeral.

  At one point during her wait, Holly went to a corner store and bought milk in order to drink her shake when she began to feel dizzy. With time on her hands—and as one does when time needs to be killed—she began to think about what Bernie might be going through due to her disappearance. But that life couldn’t be hers anymore.

  She’d even considered phoning Bernie, butknew what it would lead to so decided against it. How sad that out of fear for her baby’s life, she couldn’t bring herself to phone her best friend to let her know that she was safe, and that there was no need to worry.

  Close to four that the afternoon, in walked the man she hadn’t seen in over ten years. His hair was gray now. She got to her feet when he stopped to speak to the girl at reception.

  He turned around, and when he realized it was Holly, walked toward her hastily. She began to cry and was surprised when he folded her in his arms and hugged her.

  “Don’t worry, Holly, whatever it is, whatever you need, I’m here,” he said, hugging her tighter.

  Deep down, she hated being there. He was the last person she wanted to see, but Mara had been right about one thing. Blood was thicker than water.

  “Have you eaten anything?”

  Holly shook her head.

  “Let’s go to the cafeteria then, shall we? We can talk there.”

  Holly nodded and followed her father into the most beautiful cafeteria she’d ever seen. He was one of the most successful architects in America, and thank heaven his company name didn’t include his surname. It was called CDS Developments.

  She hadn’t told Jake what her father did for a living because before now, she’d wanted nothing whatsoever to do with Charles Scallanger.

  “Emery, may I please have a glass of orange juice?” he said to the waitress. “What would you like, Holly?”

  “Milk, please.”

  Charles frowned, but added, “I’ll have the chicken as well.”

  “Just a toasted chicken for me, please.”

  For a while, neither said a thing to the other. When the drinks were placed in front of them, Holly tried not to gulp hers down.

  Charles looked at her with concern. “Holly, what is going on?”

  “I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

  “Who’s the father?”

  “Does it matter? He doesn’t want me anymore, and wants me to get rid of it.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “What do you want to do?”

  “Abortion is out of the question, Charles.”

  “Okay, I understand that. Your mother and I didn’t raise you that way, but Holly you have to think this through clearly. Having this child will tie you to this man forever.”

  “There are way too many women out there who haven’t a chance in hell of having children. I can’t, and I won’t kill it.”

  “So… you’re thinking about giving it up for adoption, then?”

  “No, I’m most certainly not. I don’t care how he feels about the baby, or me. I’m going to keep it.”

  Charles took a deep breath.

  “Charles… Dad, please. I’ve never asked you for anything. I just need your help until the baby is born.” She wiped at her tears. “Nobody will hire a pregnant woman who’s likely to faint at any given moment.”

  “What do you mean? Why would you faint at any given moment?”

  “It’s not going to be an easy pregnancy. I’m taking medication; a trial formula, but it will finish in a couple of weeks. And then crap’s going to hit the fan.”

  “So, I’m to be your piggy bank, is that it?”

  “I came to you for help. You can look at it any way you want. If you are serious about making amends, Dad, this would be the perfect time. I promise you, you won’t get another chance like this one.” Tears rolled down her face again.

  Charles got up and crouched in front of her. “Shh,” he whispered, putting his arms around her. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

  Holly couldn’t contain her tears. “No abortion, please.”

  “No abortion,” he promised.

  “Thank you, Dad.”

  He took her face in both hands and looked at her. “I know I fucked up, okay? But I do love you, always have, and I loved Jamie, too. Your mother made it difficult for me to see you both.”

  Holly didn’t believe him for one minute, but she had no choice.

  Charles kissed the top of her head just as the waitress arrived with their meals. “Eat,” he said, “and I’ll take you home afterward.”

  She did as she was told and ate as if she hadn’t eaten for a week.

  During the meal, Charles discussed his course of action.

  “I’ll phone my doctor first thing in the morning. I’ll need recommendations as to who’s the best in the country. We’ll get you through this.”

  Holly swallowed past the lump in her throat, because she knew that the best was Jake’s dad. She didn’t say anything, though. Her father could never know who the baby’s father was.

  If Charles Scallanger found out, she was scared he would not only sue the living crap out of Jake, but the whole Peters’ clan while he was at it. If there was one thing Charles was superb at, it was winning.

  Should that happen, Jake would then find out that she’d kept the baby and he might just change his mind. She wasn’t going to let that transpire, either. If it hadn’t worked out the first time, it would never work out the second. That was something else her grandmother had said. Holly huffed inwardly thinking about what her cousins—once removed—would have to say. She'd always thought they'd been her aunts growing up, but now she knew better. Thank heavens she didn’t need them.

  The drive to her father’s mansion took only a couple of minutes.

  Holly’s eyes grew wide as they pulled into the driveway. She found herself gawking at a semi-palace with glass windows built high on a cliff. It was gorgeous.

  Having given orders for her bags to be taken inside, Charles led her through to the patio.

  Gabriella, her father’s wife, was sunning on a lounger next to
the pool. Holly had only seen her a handful of times when she was a little girl, but as soon as Gabriella noticed Holly standing next to Charles, the look on her face said she wanted to scold him over who the hell the strawberry blond slut was.

  Charles knew her all too well. “Relax, Gabriella. It’s only Holly.”

  She squinted and looked at Holly. “Holly? As in—”

  “Yes,” he cut her off, “she will be staying with us for a couple of months.”

  Gabriella finally smiled. “Welcome to our home, Holly. It will be nice to finally get to know you.”

  “Likewise,” Holly lied. She hated this woman with every fiber of her being, but needed to remain on her good side otherwise her father would throw her out, and then where would that leave her?

  The woman standing before her in gorgeous open-toed shoes was in her mid-forties but still looked twenty, only because of all the plastic surgery her father had obviously paid for.

  Money that should’ve actually helped raise me and Jamie, Holly thought, shaking her head. If her current situation was going to work, she needed to rid herself of such thoughts.

  “Come, darling.” Charles motioned for her to follow him. “Let me show you to your room.”

  Holly gave him a soft smile, although it was really hard to muster one after the last two days. A part of her had always known that the situation she now found herself in was bound to happen, that the day would come when Jake would not want her anymore.

  She still couldn’t believe it, but the words had come directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. Words that would stick in her head for years to come.

  She wiped at a tear, then followed her father through one of the side doors into his mansion. They walked up the first set of stairs. Another led them to the upper level. It was huge, which made her wonder who had more money; him or the Peters’.

  A small dog ran out of one of the rooms and barked hysterically as they passed by him. Holly jumped because that had to have been the ugliest dog she had ever seen. It was completely hairless.

  “Pimples, quiet,” Charles demanded in a thick voice.

  The dog backed off, but continued to growl, letting it be known he wasn’t happy with the new stranger coming into his home.

  “Sorry, he’s old. I can’t wait for him to die.”

  Holly giggled, although she was a bit taken aback with him wanting the dog to die. “He’s not the prettiest dog I have seen, that’s for sure.”

  “It’s Gabriella, she’s got a thing for ugly mutts. Have to love that about her, otherwise she would never have gone for me.” He raised his eyebrows, and Holly only smiled.

  I don’t think it was your looks she was after, dearest Dad, Holly thought but didn’t dare say out loud.

  They continued down a hall. Numerous picture frames had been hung along one wall, all showing photos of Gabriella, but none of her father.

  The door at the end was their destination and when Holly entered, she sucked in a huge breath. It was stunning, the stuff dreams were made of. At its center was the biggest four-poster bed she’d ever seen, covered in the most beautiful satin linen.

  Surrounding the room were ceiling to floor glass windows, framed by the softest, white curtains. Almost all opened up onto a balcony with its own breakfast corner, and amazingly what looked to be an honest to goodness hot tub.

  She shook her head. That kind of opulence was something she wasn’t used to, but as her father was the only one with the means to help her through this mess, she would make herself get used to it.

  “I hope the room is to your satisfaction. If you’d like the linen changed, I can ask Penelope to come sort it out—”

  “It not necessary,” she interrupted. “It’s simply beautiful. Thank you, Dad.”

  He smiled and looked at the carpet. “I’m glad you’ve stopped calling me Charles. It’s nice to have you here, Holly. Really.”

  She smiled at him, feeling somewhat guilty. It wasn’t like she really wanted to be there anyway, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

  “I’ll let you settle in, then. I’ve a couple of things I need to see to in my office. If you are hungry, let the chef know and he’ll make you something.”

  Chef! He’s got a freaking chef?

  “Thanks, Dad. For everything.”

  Once he closed the door, she began to unpack her clothes. Her mind ran rampant again. All the times her mother had struggled to put food on the table, he’d had someone making it for him. He’d never been there. Even when Jamie died and her mother drowned herself in alcohol, he hadn’t been there. He’d never even bothered with threats toward Jane regarding taking Holly away from her if the alcohol bingeing continued.

  What Holly had now done was without a doubt the lowest she’d succumbed to in her life; ask the man she despised most in the world for help. She’d never in her wildest dreams thought that that was where she’d end up, that that was what would happen to her. But the end result was her only option. She was in the one place where she’d be safe.

  Bernie knew her mother, but Holly wasn’t certain if her friend was privy to her whereabouts. Sure, Holly had spoken to her from time to time. She’d even, shockingly, given money toward Holly’s now doomed wedding to Brandon. But she was the one person Holly couldn’t have gone to. It would have been too easy for Bernie to find her.

  She was safe in Seattle. No one, not even Bernie would find her.

  She wondered if Bernie would be upset with Jake for not wanting the baby. But Holly knew the answer to that; she most definitely would be. However, as far as Leo was concerned, that was another matter entirely. Jake would never sever his friendship with Leo. They’d been friends practically since the day they’d been out of diapers. That kind of friendship shouldn’t be broken, and those kinds of friends shouldn’t have to choose. In the end, Holly had been the one to make the choice instead.

  Her hands began to tremble as she pulled the tin that held the last shake out of her bag. Thank heaven she had another full one, but it would only last her half a month, and then everything would go haywire once again.

  Her fear of hospitals was such that she couldn’t imagine what she would end up going through. If Mara was right about dying, there was nothing to be done. She’d rather die for her unborn baby than contemplate aborting it. Her life felt meaningless, anyway. She was convinced she’d never find love again. She’d known it the first time she’d kissed Jake, and if by some miracle the baby and her survived, it would have to be happy with only one parent.

  THOSE FIRST FEW WEEKS WENT BY QUICKLY. HOLLY spent most of them in her room.

  Gabby, as her father called his wife, tried her utmost to be friendly¸ but after the umpteenth time of short answers from Holly—who had absolutely no interest in either being her friend, much less go shopping with her—that’s when the fighting started. Her father’s house wasn’t big enough for Gabby’s shrill voice.

  To her surprise, her father didn’t interfere, demanding that she give Gabby a chance. Instead, he tried his best and was nice to his daughter, which Gabby didn’t approve of.

  One day, she noticed that her father had been sleeping in one of the guest rooms for at least two nights. A part of her felt awful, but she really had nothing in common with Gabby, neither was she interested in what kind of plastic surgery she was thinking of getting next. Actually, Holly wasn’t even sure if any of the woman’s body parts were real anymore.

  Time wasn’t the only thing that went by quickly. Holly’s last tin was also diminishing with every passing day. She had more or less one week of the supplement left, deciding to stretch it as far as she possibly could. She’d only drink it when she felt she really couldn’t cope with the dizziness or nausea anymore.

  She would also drown the powder with milk and would skip the next dose, which needed to be taken every eight hours. She hated the whirlwind thoughts going on in her head. Worry was a constant companion.

  That evening after consuming her shake, Holly took a bath and went s
traight to bed, after Al, Charles’ chef, made her something light to eat.

  At around two in the morning, a crazy nauseating feeling interrupted her sleep; she barely made it to the bathroom.

  She couldn’t stop what was happening and began to cry as she dry heaved over the toilet bowl.

  Eventually, her father must have heard. When Charles saw the condition his daughter was in, his face was a mixture of horror and worry.

  “We need get you to the hospital.”

  “No. Just get the tin from my closet. Four scoops into a glass of milk. It will help.”

  She listened to closet doors opening and closing as her insides burned.

  “Which one, Holly?” he yelled from within her bedroom.

  “The one closest to the wall, Dad, third shelf.”

  The sound of the closet opening again, followed by her father exiting her room and walking to the kitchen came next. She took deep breaths and wiped her mouth. The dizziness was horrific.

  If she wasn’t capable of skipping eight hours, how on earth was she going to make the tin last? And then it hit her. The tin wasn’t going to last—it meant that Mara had been right. Holly didn’t want to die, but she didn’t want to abort the baby, either. She couldn’t.

  She’d walked that horrible marathon with Amelia against abortion. And even if Amelia had managed to change her mind about the baby, Holly still wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. It wasn’t right, and she would never be something she wasn’t just to get Jake back. Whatever they’d had wasn’t love, because he’d basically discarded her and their baby.

  Holly began to cry as she thought about Jake and the mess he’d left her to deal with. He was a coward, a word she never would have used to describe him before.

  He’d broken her heart. No, he’d shattered it and it would never be able to heal. She would end up like her mother, alone with a tiny baby.

  Charles returned, holding the glass to her mouth so she could drink. He then picked her up and carried her gently back to bed. “Are you going to be okay? Don’t you think we should call for a doctor, Holls?”

  “No, Dad. I’ll be okay now. If it worsens, I’ll go see a doctor.”