The Agent's Surrender

by Kimberly Van Meter

  “Good, and yourself?”

  “Can’t complain.” The older woman smiled. “When are you going to meet a nice young man?”

  “No time for that,” she said briskly, shaking her head as she scooped a spoonful of mashed potatoes. Why didn’t anyone ever ask why Walker or Ian hadn’t settled down? Because men were allowed to be footloose and fancy-free, she answered herself in a sour tone. “I’m married to my job,” she said, thinking briefly of the time she and Holden had spent together. If things had been different...maybe...but they weren’t, so what was the point in wallowing in the past?

  Her father nodded and said, “There’s more to life than getting married, Claudine. Don’t be putting foolish thoughts into the girl’s head. She’s finally doing all right. Time to focus on the priorities.”

  Somehow having her father echo the same sentiment sent a stone tumbling into the pit of her stomach when it should’ve made her grin from ear to ear. She was constantly yearning for a smidgeon of her father’s approval, yet sometimes the smidge just tasted hollow.

  Hell, she must be tired. This whole situation with Holden and the case had put her off-kilter. Tomorrow she’d find out what the hell kind of evidence Holden thought he had and then she’d start putting this baby to bed. For good.

  Chapter 3

  Per usual, Holden awoke at 4:30 a.m., and after pounding back an organic whey protein shake, dressed, grabbed his workout bag and headed for the office.

  Being in the top level of the CIA had its perks, one of them being the executive exercise facility, which Holden took full advantage of. After a career in the military, he didn’t relish the idea of going soft at a desk job, so he worked out just as hard as he ever did. And also, per usual, Jane was there, too.

  It was always a small punch to the gut whenever he saw Jane dressed like a civilian in her workout clothes. It reminded him too vividly how that lithe, muscular body had fit so well against his, and it was in those raw, primal moments that his guard slipped, if only for a heartbeat. And then he remembered how she’d thrown his feelings in his face and walked out on him and the wall went back up.

  “Would it kill you to exercise at a different time?” he asked as she joined him, stuffing her bag in the locker and grabbing a towel. “Or is this some twisted scheme to spend more time with me?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  He didn’t know why he’d assumed she’d cut out on her morning workout after getting the news that the case had been reopened, but obviously it hadn’t stopped her. Seeing her there put him instantly on edge.

  She headed directly to the treadmill and punched in her usual workout, a punishing ten-mile run in fifty-five minutes. Holden, deciding to bypass his lifting routine, stepped onto the treadmill beside her. He punched in ten miles and kicked up the pace.

  After they’d started running, Holden asked, “So why’d Reed change his mind? You have something to do with that?”

  “What does it matter?”

  “It matters to me.”

  She cut him a short look. “I don’t like my work to look sloppy. I realized that if you think you have hard evidence, chances were you did, and I didn’t want to run the risk that someone else might question my skills as an investigator. I figured chasing down the lead was a minimally small risk when I feel confident the end result will remain the same.”

  “Why are you so willing to believe the worst of my brother?”

  “I didn’t know your brother, so I have no opinion of him. I followed the evidence. Your brother’s death was the catalyst to the entire I.D. network becoming a pile of rubble. That much is easy enough to document. Your brother was implicated in the killings of several high-ranking officials internationally, as well as domestically, and his suicide—”

  “Alleged suicide,” he interrupted with a growl, and she shrugged, keeping an easy but brisk pace without breaking a sweat. She was in remarkable shape. One would have to be blind not to notice—and Holden was not blind. Not to mention he had first-hand knowledge of every curve and valley carved into that hot body. “And Nathan Isaacs, his good friend and fellow sniper for I.D., had also been accused of committing unsanctioned hits, and he wasn’t stripped of his medals.”

  “Nathan didn’t know he was carrying out someone else’s agenda. Miko did. That much was said in his suicide note.”

  “We don’t even know the note was written by Miko because it was printed out and not handwritten. For all we know, my brother was set up by someone higher up the chain.”

  “How high are we talking?” she asked, a faint note of mockery in her tone. “C’mon, Holden, Occam’s razor. Sometimes the most obvious explanation is the right one.”

  “And sometimes what may seem like the obvious answer is in actuality what someone wants you to believe.”

  “Well, you got your wish. We’re going to chase down your lead and see where it takes us. Just don’t blame me when we end up in the same place we started.”

  He knew it was possible Jane was right, but his gut said otherwise. He couldn’t explain the twin bond to someone who’d never experienced it. But he could chase down a lead like a bloodhound, and that was what he was going to do. He supposed he owed Reed a note of gratitude for opening the door so he could walk through instead of having to scale windows in the dead of night. Sneaking around wasn’t his favorite game.

  “So what’s your story, Fallon?” he asked, curious as to what went on behind those jade eyes.

  She shot him an irritated look. “Are you going to gab all morning or let me run in peace? You’ll have plenty opportunity to flap your jaws later.”

  “I forgot that your workout takes all your concentration,” he said, knowing the subtle jab would ruffle her feathers. From what he knew of Jane, she didn’t take shortcuts and didn’t do girl push-ups. In fact, she worked harder than most men. She was a marine through and through. As expected, she cast him a dark look and punched in a higher pace as if to prove a point. He chuckled and did the same. They were running side by side, like a cheetah and a gazelle, except they were evenly matched in skill and strength. Sweat began to drip down his temple and soak his T-shirt. A quick look at Jane revealed high points of color pinching her cheeks as she kept up the pace. At this rate, their hearts would explode, and she was so damn stubborn she’d never quit before him. He didn’t want to show weakness, but running had never been his strong suit. Her legs pumped, strong and fierce, as she kept her gaze trained forward, and he had to wonder where she went in her head to withstand such a grueling workout. Running was a mental activity as much as it was physical and Jane was in the zone. He envied her detachment, her ability to compartmentalize the pain of her burning legs and lungs as she pushed herself beyond most people’s capability. Maybe that was how she had been able to just cut him loose and walk away without looking back. Don’t start that crap again, a sharp voice in his head warned when he went too deep into the whys of their breakup. Ancient history—keep it there.

  Just when he thought he might collapse, the ten-mile marker dinged and the slowdown began, not a moment too soon. Another five seconds and he might’ve embarrassed himself. His legs were rubber, but he wasn’t about to let Jane see that, particularly when she looked ready to go another five miles. The only indication she’d labored was the ruddy color in her cheeks and the quick rise and fall of her chest as she wiped away the sweat. She ended the run and popped off the treadmill, calling over her shoulder before she headed for the showers, “Be ready to share this game-changing lead, Archangelo. Time is wasting.”

  * * *

  Jane stood for a full two minutes under the hot spray, groaning silently at the dull ache in her quads and calves from the grueling run. Why’d she have to push it so hard? What did she need to prove to Holden? It wasn’t just Holden—it was to everyone. There was no grace for her. Being the only girl in a military family dominated by men, she’d had no choice but to meet or exceed all expectations. Hell, she’d been doing boy-style push-ups since she was
three. She loved her brothers to death, but they were jarhead carbon copies of their dad, and because she was the exact opposite of her father, it must mean she was her mother’s mini me. She stifled another groan. Why couldn’t she have been born a male, too? Life would’ve been so much simpler. No having to constantly prove her worth or justify her existence. No having to defend the fact that she’d been born bearing a striking resemblance to their mother.

  The mother who’d left them all behind.

  Sometimes she bore her mother’s abandonment as a scarlet letter simply because she had the misfortune to share the same gender.

  Jane indulged in a moment of quiet as the water soothed her throbbing muscles and calmed her ragged spirit. Why was she going on this stupid waste of time with Holden? Why didn’t she just stand her ground and discard Holden’s theory? There was no basis of fact, only Holden’s insistence that something was amiss, and that wasn’t enough to reopen a case like Miko’s. Why? The question pelted her as surely as the water jets, but there was no relief answer in sight. Jane groaned, hating the self-doubt niggling at her brain, cutting chunks out of her confidence. Maybe she should’ve gone to Holden when she had first started the investigation. Perhaps if she’d done that, they wouldn’t be questioning anything now, putting a stain on her reputation. But then, as now, she didn’t trust herself around Holden for too long; he did something to her insides. Too much time around Holden and she started to question too many things, and she couldn’t have that. He put a wrinkle in her life that stubbornly refused to iron out, no matter how hard she pressed. And that just wouldn’t work in the overall scheme of things. Enough of this morose, angst crap. She pushed away from the spray and grabbed the soap. It’s not as if things are going to change.

  She’d have to put some ointment on her calves tonight, she realized, twisting her foot in a circular motion and grimacing at the immediate protests in her muscles. That was what she got for trying to show off.

  But Holden could handle the challenge, she realized with grudging respect. Most people would’ve quit the minute she upped the pace. A secret part of her was glad he hadn’t. She couldn’t respect a man who couldn’t keep up with her. Did she want Holden’s respect? Why should that play into the equation? Jane had to admit, something about Holden made her want to look twice in his direction. She’d seen plenty of hard bodies during her military career—so much so it was more surprising to see a soft physique—but Holden’s body was carved from granite, all hard planes and razor sinews of strength that made her itch to touch them. Just admitting that to herself sent shameful heat scuttling to her cheeks, and she actually heard her father’s voice in her head ranting about “female hormones” and the pursuant “unstable” nature of all women.

  Get a grip, Fallon. Stay focused on the big picture. Protect your reputation in the department and find a way to show Holden he’s wrong about his brother.

  She shut off the water and wrapped her towel around her with a grim smile. Sounded like a solid plan. Now get to it.

  Chapter 4

  Fifteen minutes later both Holden and Jane were alone in the conference room ready to work. Despite the fact she’d just run a grueling distance and had just hopped out of the shower, Jane looked impeccable, dressed in a tailored suit and her short, dark hair blown dry and styled. Holden, however, could still feel water dripping down his back from the quick towel off and subsequent dash to the office. Suddenly, he felt disheveled. He shifted in discomfort at the pull of his shirt beneath his suit jacket and took a seat opposite Jane.

  She got right to it. “Okay, Holden, here’s your chance. What’s this new evidence you’re talking about?”

  Time to come clean. “I lied.” He watched as a storm immediately sprang to life in her eyes. He held his hands up in a conciliatory gesture, hoping to ward off the lightning before she incinerated him where he stood. “I knew that if I said I just had a gut feeling, there’s no way anyone would’ve taken me seriously.”

  “You lied?” Her voice registered cold disbelief as she stiffened. Jane skewered him with her gaze, saying in a low whisper, “I knew it.”

  “Let me explain,” he started, but she wasn’t interested in his reasons, not that he blamed her. Anyway, he didn’t really care about her opinion of him.

  “This only further proves my point,” she said, waving off his attempt. “You are definitely not thinking clearly if you are willing to jeopardize your entire career for a disgraced brother who’d made his own bed.” She rose abruptly. “I’m telling Reed. This farce of an investigation is finished.”

  “Wait,” he said, compelling her to stop. “Reed has agreed to let us investigate, to dig a little deeper. What will it hurt to flip over a few more stones?”

  “What will it hurt? My credibility. I know it seems crazy to think of someone aside from yourself, but I have a personal interest in seeing this case closed. This was my case and I investigated it to its successful conclusion. Just because you don’t like the outcome doesn’t mean you get to change the ending of the story. With your military background, I’m surprised you would sink this low.”

  Maybe he should’ve made something up. But a small voice inside his head had urged him to be truthful. He’d thought maybe if he could convince Jane he was right, she’d be a powerful ally. But now he was thinking that voice was insane and had definitely steered him wrong. Holden recalled another time he’d listened to that little voice and it’d blown up in his face—the time he’d told Jane he loved her and wanted to build a life with her. She couldn’t dump him fast enough. Yeah, when was he going to learn to tell that voice to shut the hell up?

  Time for damage control before things went sidewise fast. “I shouldn’t have lied, but look at it from my point of view. I can’t explain to you a twin bond because frankly, I don’t understand it myself. But my brother and I knew each other like we knew ourselves. My brother was involved in something bigger than what we’ve seen. We’ve only scratched the surface of what’s really going on. I know this as strongly as I know that I can’t stand peas.” He shrugged. “It’s an ingrained knowledge. We have a week to figure out what really happened. If you truly believe my brother is guilty, how will giving me that one week to chase down any leads hurt your case? If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. Nothing changes. But if I’m right—and I believe I am—there’s so much more at stake than my brother’s honor.”

  “Such as?”

  “If someone else was pulling the strings, then the real threat is still out there. And it’s our job to find it and neutralize it.”

  Jane frowned. “I did my job, and now you want to come along and tear it apart just to soothe an emotional wound? I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

  “What if it was one of your brothers?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “It wouldn’t be. My brothers would never do anything so rogue. You and I both know that I.D. was on the fringe. Your brother was attracted to that department because of who he was. He was an adrenaline junkie who craved excitement and glory. And I.D. gave it to him. He didn’t care where it came from as long as he got his fix.”

  “You didn’t know Miko, so don’t pretend you wrote the book on his character analysis. I’m telling you right now, the man you just described was not my brother. He liked to play the hero, that much is true, and he truly thought he was doing good work. He was doing the jobs that others couldn’t to keep his country safe. I’m sure he was devastated when he found out I.D. had played him false.”

  “So devastated he kept putting people in his gun sights and collecting those paychecks?” she mocked. Holden understood she was not buying one red cent of his plea. “You’re spinning your wheels. Your brother screwed up and you’re screwing up by championing a lost cause.”

  “A man of my brother’s character would never pull the trigger on himself unless he was forced to,” Holden stated matter-of-factly, ignoring her mockery. “He just wouldn’t. Someone forced his hand. Aren’t you the least bit curious—no, worried—about who
is actually calling the shots? I owe it to my brother to figure things out, but you owe it to our country. I know that means something to you. We can’t protect our nation from outside threats if we can’t even identify what threats may reside right in our own house.”

  He was reaching her—he could see it in her eyes. “I don’t like your methods,” she finally said, looking as if she’d rather eat rat guts than admit he may have a point, but she wasn’t stupid and that was a point in her favor. “You shouldn’t have lied. Good, bad or indifferent, you should’ve taken your chances with the truth.”

  “Maybe. But what’s done is done and I’m not about to apologize. Are you with me or are you going to turn tail and run back to the chief to tattle on me?”

  Her lips pressed together in a tight line. She didn’t like being called a tattler. “Fine,” she snapped. “You’ve got one week. If at the end of the week we don’t have anything substantial to go on, we’re closing this case and I never want to hear about it again. Am I clear?”

  “Crystal.” He breathed a sigh of relief. If Jane had marched into Reed’s office and told their superior that Holden had misrepresented the facts, he could have been fired. It was a gamble he’d begrudgingly been willing to take. Having Jane on his side would make things a lot easier by half. Well, the investigating process would go more smoothly. Now he just had to find a way to stop thinking of her in terms that had nothing to do with the job. Focus, man. “Since we’ve sorted that out, I want to stop by my brother’s bar. He spent the most time there. We might find evidence.”

  “We went over the place with a fine-tooth comb. There’s nothing there. Besides, everything’s been packed up and stored in evidence. The bar is nothing but an empty shell. Plus, it’s been put up for sale to satisfy debts levied against your brother’s estate.”

  “I know all that. But I want to go anyway. I feel as if we missed something. If I know my brother, he left information behind.”