The Agent's Surrender

by Kimberly Van Meter

  “Holden, oh, Holden...” she breathed, clinging to him with her legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he drove into her without mercy. Her eyes were squeezed shut and he swept her mouth with his tongue, forcing her to remain in the here and now with him. She tensed and began to shake, and he knew the moment was here.

  “Open your eyes, sweetheart,” he instructed, needing to know that the moment she came, she’d know exactly who’d brought her to that sweet release. Her eyes popped open and she stared into his, gasping as she tumbled for the second time into a hard orgasm. Their connection felt cosmic as they locked eyes, and within the next breath, as she was crying out, he hurtled into his own release, losing himself for several blessed moments in sheer ecstasy. Holy...hell...he’d never...not like that. He collapsed beside her, both of them breathing hard and trying to recover from whatever it was that had just taken them on an epic ride. “That was...”

  “Don’t talk,” she panted. “Shh.”

  And he agreed. Words weren’t necessary. Their bodies had shared something he’d never experienced with anyone else. Something mind-blowing. Something...scary. Something like chemistry.

  Everything had changed. He couldn’t agree to go back to just being partners. He’d made the mistake the first time of letting her go without a fight. His ego had been bruised and a part of him had believed what The Major had said about him not being good enough for Jane. Who was he? And what did he have to offer Jane? But in this moment, he said, screw the haters. He’d been stupid and immature to walk away just so he could lick his wounds in private. Sure, he covered pretty well with his nonchalance, but it was forced. The real reason he worked out at the same time as Jane was because it was the only time he could possibly be around her without actually admitting he still needed and wanted her. Yeah, that ego was pretty strong.

  He risked a glance at Jane, her eyes closed and lips parted as her chest rose and fell from their exertion. The sheer beauty of the woman struck him like a thunderbolt splitting the sky and crashing around him.

  Yeah, things had changed, all right.

  And something told him there was no putting that genie back in the bottle.

  Faaantastic.

  Jane was going to love this.

  Chapter 13

  The following morning, Jane rolled to her side and started to leave the bed when Holden stirred. She winced as muscles she’d never imagined were part of her body cried out in protest. It was a delicious pain, one that reminded her of everything they’d done last night, but in the same breath, the reminder made her want to hop the first rocket to another planet. What had they done? She wanted to cover her face with her hands and die. She popped from the bed and ran to the bathroom. What were you thinking? She stared hard at her reflection in the mirror, noting the wild bedhead and the stubble burn on her neck from Holden’s lips. A delicate shudder rocked her frame as she sank into the memory with a heavy sigh. That man could do things that weren’t natural.

  Snap out of it. This kind of thinking wasn’t productive. She straightened and stepped away from the sink to twist the shower knob to hot. The heat would burn away the evidence and soothe her sore muscles. Win-win. Jane stepped into the shower as the steam filled the room. She closed her eyes, the water pelting her head and running in rivulets down her body. Bracing herself against the wall with her forearms, she stood for a long moment simply enjoying the feel of the water running over her.

  Suddenly, hands cupped her breasts and she yelped, immediately jabbing with her elbow and connecting with a hard chest as the person behind her grunted and pulled her to him. “Stand down, soldier,” he murmured, and her knees threatened to melt into gooey piles of cartilage. Holden.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, trying to stay focused, but Holden was teasing her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and rational thought was becoming difficult. “I thought we agreed it was a one-time thing. We can’t be shagging each other like it’s no big deal.”

  He kissed her neck and ignored her, reaching down to plunder her folds with his finger, reminding her of everything he’d done to her last night. She whimpered and sagged against him, giving him better access even as she cursed her own weakness. “This is a terrible—aah—idea!”

  “The worst,” he agreed, slowly working his finger inside her. “And yet...I think we should keep doing it. Over and over and over.”

  She shuddered as a sweet orgasm caught her by surprise, cresting over her in a gentle tide, nothing like what’d happened last night, and for that, she was grateful. She needed to be able to walk. A sigh rattled out of her mouth as she leaned against Holden, who was smiling as he withdrew his finger and popped it into his mouth. “Mmm...sweet like candy,” he said, causing a blush to burn her cheeks. Had he just—? Oh, such a bad boy.

  He turned her around to face him as the steam swirled around their bodies. His erection bobbed between them, but he seemed more content to stand there with her, damn the consequences and screw the good sense they were both ignoring. “I don’t think I can ‘hit it and quit it’ when it comes to you.” He drew her closer so their skin touched. The heat from his body made her want to climb into his skin and live there. He was like a human furnace, which would come in handy seeing as her toes were always cold. “I know it would be smarter if I did. But there’s something about you that fills me with...hell, I don’t even know what the word is. All I know is now that I’ve tasted you again, you’re the only one I want, and I should’ve fought harder to keep you the first time around.”

  Jane thrilled at the dangerous words, though she knew they had no future. For one, her brothers and father would have a fit. Holden was too tainted by his brother’s crime to be a suitable match. As far as her father was concerned, only five-star generals and Purple Heart recipients need apply for the role of significant other in Jane’s life. As a rule, Jane had kept her dating exploits on the down low, and with good reason. Then Holden had gone against her express wishes and tried talking to her father as if he were a normal parent, and all hell had broken loose.

  “What in the world are you thinking?” she’d asked in a harsh whisper as Holden had walked with purpose to her father’s doorstep. “You have lost your mind! You don’t know what you’re doing and this is not going to end well. Stop this, Holden!”

  “This is ridiculous. I’m sure you’re overreacting. He’s your father, not the pope.”

  “Please don’t say that to him,” she’d muttered, rubbing her right temple. “You don’t know what you’re getting into. This is not the way to meet my father for the first time.”

  “Yeah, well, I disagree. Time to stop sneaking around. Maybe we can go shoot a couple of rounds at the range.”

  “Do you realize he had the last guy I dated sent to the front lines in Afghanistan because he didn’t like his haircut?”

  “I’ve been to Afghanistan—no big deal,” Holden had said with a negligent shrug that she’d found half adorable and half mad. “But just to be on the safe side, how’s my hair?”

  “High and tight. It’s fine,” she’d answered, swallowing her tongue when her father had appeared at the door. She’d forced a smile and said, “Hi, Dad. We were just in the neighborhood. If you’re busy...”

  “We? We who?” The Major had eyed Holden with open suspicion and borderline dislike. “Is this the man you’ve been seeing on the QT?”

  He knows, she’d thought. Damn those military connections. She’d wondered which old fart had ratted her out. No telling; her father’s reach was pretty extensive and even crossed military branches. “Um...” Her words had dried up in her mouth and unfortunately Holden had taken the opportunity to insert himself.

  “Yes, sir, I’m that guy. Pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard of your accomplishments. Pretty impressive.”

  Jane had wanted to groan. Her father was incapable of succumbing to flattery, and she’d known Holden’s attempts at buttering him up would only end badly. Before she had been able to interject, her father had said, �
�Son, where I come from it’s considered very bad form to attempt to date a man’s only daughter without a proper introduction. How long has this been going on?”

  “A few weeks,” Holden had answered, looking to Jane when he’d realized this wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d planned.

  “I suppose you and I are overdue a chat.” The Major had opened the door wider and motioned for Holden to come in. Jane had wanted to grab Holden and tell him to run for safety, but Holden had naively followed The Major before she could stop him. Just as she’d taken the first step, her father had said, “Jane, why don’t you take a jog around the block? Your last PT report was a little weak in the running department.”

  “Dad? I’m not exactly dressed to go for a jog,” she’d protested, but she’d been more keen on extracting Holden than anything else.

  But her father never accepted excuses. “I know you keep some running shoes in the car because I taught you to.”

  She’d nodded, caught. “Yes, sir.”

  “By the time you circle back around I should be finished with my chat.”

  “Dad...”

  “That’ll be all, Jane.”

  And then she had been dismissed as he’d closed the door, effectively locking Holden inside and her out. “Crap,” she’d muttered and returned to her car. She’d grabbed her tennis shoes and jerked them on. Whatever her father had been saying to Holden hadn’t been “welcome to the family, son.” She’d had a bad feeling it was going to be the opposite.

  And she’d been right. Jane roused herself from that terrible memory and exhaled the tight breath caught in her chest. Why hadn’t Holden just listened to her for once? Maybe if he hadn’t been so cocksure of himself, they might’ve been able to figure out a plan together, but no, he’d been absolutely certain of his ability to charm The Major, and whatever he’d said to her dad had been the catalyst that ended their relationship.

  “You’re suddenly really quiet,” Holden observed, drawing her back to the present. “Penny for your thoughts.”

  “They’re not worth that much,” she answered, deliberately giving him her back to tease him with the view as she reached for the shampoo. After a career in the military, modesty wasn’t a luxury she remembered. “I think we’ve gotten all we can here in California. I’d like to get back to Washington as soon as possible so we can interview Jake and Kat. Is there anything else you need here in Cali?”

  “Oh, that’s how it’s going to be?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. She half turned and didn’t pretend to not know what he was talking about.

  “Yes. You and I both know that what we did was a mistake. There’s no need to compound matters.” Her gaze dipped to his erection and she swallowed before jerking back around to scrub her hair. “Don’t get me wrong, I fully enjoyed myself, but we have to get back to business and wrap up this investigation. I have other cases waiting for me.”

  He reached past her and grabbed the shampoo. “First, what we did may have been a mistake, but I don’t regret it. Second, you’re crazy if you think I’m going to be able to forget how amazing we are together between the sheets and third, I can guarantee you’re going to be thinking of us before we’ve even left the tarmac. Just admit it—we’re good together. And we always were until your control-freak daddy got in the way. When you are going to stop letting him run your life?”

  “Leave my dad out of this.” She spun around, irritated. “Yes, we’re good together. We’re both in phenomenal shape, we have similar drives and our bodies fit together extraordinarily well, but that’s not the point.”

  “It isn’t?”

  “No,” she answered firmly, taking the shampoo from his hands and returning it to the ledge as he scrubbed. “The point is that you and I cannot be messing around like a couple of college coeds on spring break. We cannot do anything that will jeopardize the integrity of the case—both for my sake as the lead investigator and for your sake as you search for answers. We need to just forget it happened and move on. We did it once and we can’t do it again.” They switched places so Holden could rinse, and she clenched her fingers to keep from touching those rock-hard ridges of abdominal muscle that gave washboard a new definition. “Furthermore, we already have a deficit with you being all emotional about this case, and we certainly don’t need to add to the already complicated situation.” His lopsided grin appeared and she glared. “Are you listening at all?”

  “To the words coming out of your mouth? No, not really. But in my defense, your boobs are definitely speaking my language.” And with that, he pulled her to him, smothering her protests with a bone-searing kiss that left her with jelly on the inside. She whimpered as the fight left her temporarily. “There’s my sexy girl,” he murmured against her lips. When he had her quiet, he stared into her half-closed eyes and said, “I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out that I should’ve told your father to go screw himself. As soon as we touch down in D.C., that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

  “You’ll do no such thing,” she said, glaring. “That’s my father you’re talking about.”

  “Yeah, and he’s been running your life for long enough, don’t you think?”

  “He’s not running my life,” she shot back, indignant. “That’s a helluva thing to say to someone you’re hoping to have sex with again.”

  “I want more than sex,” he said with a straight face. “I want you.”

  “Stop it,” she told him, irritated that his admission caused her heart rate to hop, skip and jump like an Easter bunny on meth. “You’re being ridiculous and I need you to focus. Remember the case? That’s our priority—not whatever drama you’re cooking up in your head right now. We had a past, a history, and it didn’t work out. And not because of my dad, but because we’re not suited in the big scheme of things, okay?”

  “I call bullshit,” he said. “You pushed me out of your life because Daddy told you to.”

  “You’re one to talk. Whatever my dad said to you that day really must’ve hit a nerve because you couldn’t get out fast enough.”

  He stiffened. “He was a real jerk.”

  “Yeah? Well, that’s who he is and who he’ll always be, and if you can’t handle that, you can’t handle being with me for the long haul. I realized that from the start, which is why I didn’t pursue what we had. Got it? It had nothing to do with my dad.”

  Was that a lie? Well, they say the most convincing lies are grounded in truth. She hadn’t wanted to rock the boat, not when things had started to level out with her dad and she’d finally found equal footing in her career. But she’d also known that Holden would never fit in with the exclusive boys’ club of her brothers and father. So why push it? A tiny, pipsqueak of a voice whispered a stark truth that she’d struggled with ever since letting Holden go—she’d had real feelings for Holden. Not the kind that came and went, but the kind that reached down into her heart and tugged hard. Pushing him away had been a painful experience. Working alongside him as if he’d been merely a pleasant diversion had been even harder. Holden called her the ice queen because she had to shut down in order to function. Maybe she ought to tell him that. Or maybe she ought to stay the course because nothing had really changed. Her father and brothers, whom she loved and respected, would never accept Holden, and that was a fact, which meant, chemistry aside, their situation remained the same. “Why can’t you just enjoy this one illicit moment and then let it go?” she asked, almost plaintively.

  “Because I tried that before and it only made me miserable. Let’s try it my way for once,” he suggested, pulling her toward him even as she shook her head at the lusty haze slowly clouding his gaze. But he plainly wouldn’t take no for an answer as he said, “If I’m spending my time fighting my attraction to you, I’ll have that much less energy to focus on what we’re supposed to be investigating. Make sense?” In a hazy way, yes. She nodded slowly and his grin widened. “Good. Now, let me show you the art of the shower quickie....”

  “But we don�
�t have protection,” she protested weakly, her tongue already sliding along her lower lip in anticipation. But Holden had thought ahead. He reached over her to the lip of the shower wall and grabbed the condom he’d stashed there. “You devil,” she said with a reluctant smile. “What if I’d kicked you out of the shower?”

  “Never crossed my mind,” he said, shredding the packaging and slipping on the condom. His gaze darkened as he spun her around, pulling on her hips. “Brace yourself,” he instructed; seconds later, he was buried inside her.

  Oh, jeez. Quickie shower sex was one helluva good workout. And she loved a good workout.

  * * *

  Holden slipped his shirt over his head and slid his jeans on, his mind humming with thoughts that had nothing to do with the case and everything to do with the beautiful woman he couldn’t take his eyes off. “When we broke up, was it so easy to forget about me?” he asked.

  “I wouldn’t exactly call what we were doing dating.”

  “Well, difference of opinion, I suppose. Humor me and answer the question,” he said, tying his shoes and standing.

  “Does it matter?”

  “To me it does.”

  She heaved a short sigh, as if irritated that he seemed fixated on the past. “No, it wasn’t easy, okay? It was pretty damn hard, but when you grow up like I did, you get used to hard.”

  “He doesn’t have to rule your life anymore,” he told her, gentling his voice. “All you have to do is stand up for yourself and what you want out of life.”